Tue Apr 28 1998 12:00: You know what? I thought the Need To Know IMDB entry for The Big Lebowski was a joke, but I looked it up just now and that's actually pretty much what the actual category list says.
Midterms tomorrow. They shouldn't be so tough.
Just look at all the innovations in Windows 98! Never before seen in any software package, ever!
- Windows 95 service packages!
- Internet Explorer 4.0!
- Your desktop looks like a series of Web pages!
- Active Desktop allows you to get content from the Web automatically!
- Automatic Web page downloading and offline browsing!
- Double clicks become single clicks! Single clicks disappear!
- Automatic driver updates!
- The System File Checker makes sure the OS stays in memory!
- Disk Cleanup Tool removes infrequently used files!
- Frequently-accessed files are placed on better spots of your hard disk!
- Incredible speed gains through removing previous two-second "Starting Windows 95" delay!
- Rather than close open files or drivers, Windows 98 just shuts down!
- USB support--Microsoft innovation working for you!
- Integrated digital videodisk player and television reciever!
What will the geniuses at Microsoft useability labs come up with next? Here's a sneak peek at Windows 2000!
- Instead of displaying error messages, the system just reboots whenever anything goes wrong to save time!
- The system can automatically reboot over and over until a problem corrects itself!
- Mirroring technology allows your entire hard drive to be filled with redundant copies of the Registry, which are deleted on the fly whenever you need more disk space!
- No more clicking at all! Just wave the mouse over a list of common actions!
- 20 more keys added to all keyboards, reducing the spacebar to a thin vertical line!
- Microsoft Office becomes an ActiveX control and can be embedded in other applications!
- The System Power Checker makes sure the computer's power is on!
- Unneccessary application splash screens removed to speed up loading time!
I could go on.
Check out the amazing Transformer Evolution Debate Page, in which I take Adam's assertion that Transformers reproduce sexually and bonk it on the head repeatedly.