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: Oops, I forgot to move the old NYCB into the archives. I need to do auto-archiving, but I'm too lazy. That's the only reason.

Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.

: Dan and I want to write a game, for use when we get sick of XBlast and FreeCiv. A networked game, obviously. Dan wanted to do a roguelike game, but unless you have 100+ people playing, a networked roguelike game is not that interesting. So I talked him out of that unless he can come up with a way to make it interesting.

We have one really good idea, but it involves heavy 3D stuff. So I don't want to do it straight off. When Dan wakes up I'm going to try to sell him on a souped-up version of the classic Atari 2600 game Tank. I'm searching through Freshmeat to see if that's been done already, and picking up any other interesting games as I go along.

: We've started on the Tank remake, tenatively titled "Tank Carnage". I'm doing the network support, Dan is doing the client. We're the original Odd Couple! Once I get the message passing figured out, the tank carnage can really begin.

: The Tank Carnage client can connect to the Tank Carnage server, whereupon it obtains a level map and displays it on the screen. It can also send commands to the server, although there are no tanks to receive them yet. The code is a mess. I hate C++!

: People dropped out ahead of me, so I am now, enrolled in CS112. Only problem is, the paycheck I deposited Friday isn't showing up in my bank account, so I'm not going to be able to buy my books today. I wonder if they'll take my credit card.

: Yes, they will. So I'll do that.

: Someone is going crazy, and I hope it's not me. Last night I watched the traditional Simpsons->Futurama->X-Files block (X-Files sucked; I think a policy of watching only episodes with aliens or the Lone Gunmen would be more successful than my current policy), and:

  1. There was stuff in The Simpsons that just plain made no sense. I know about and understand the surreal aspect of the jokes on The Simpsons, but these things weren't jokes, although they were portrayed as jokes. I don't mean they were jokes that weren't funny. I mean they weren't jokes at all. The fan belt? The air instead of Valium? {I, parents} just don't understand [how I could just kill a man]. Rather complicated multiple-reading sentence there.
  2. The commercials made me want to huddle up in a ball. Why? Why? Why are today's commercials so fundamentally disturbing? Were they always like this? Are the ad execs of America smoking crack (more than usual, I mean)? Are these commercials really supposed to make me want to buy these things?
  3. It's not Futurama's fault, but my repitoire of college party movies is extremely limited, so I had to extrapolate a lot of the jokes this week. Same as last week, actually, as I've never seen Titanic.

: So. I'm doing the log analyzer for segfault, and I finally get Scott to log the referers for people who hit the site. And when I analyze the logs I find that some of the referring URLs from Slashdot have Slashdot usernames and passwords in them. We're getting 10-15 passwords a day. Turns out Mike Popovic has been seeing the same thing in his server logs.

So I mail the Slashdot crew, and I get an email back from Rob Malda that, basically, it's not a bug, it's a feature. They have a thing where you bookmark http://slashdot.org/index.pl?op=userlogin&upasswd=xxxx&unickname=yyyy and you can use that as your bookmark. So people go to that bookmark and it logs them in automatically, then they click on the segfault Slashbox and get taken to our site and we get their username and password. Malda sez: "When the bookmark is given to people it clearly states 'This is horribly insecure, but some people want it anyway'. It's a dumb method, but people are being warned of the risks."

So I don't know what moral can be derived from that, except that a lot of people prefer convenience to security. And that if you want people's Slashdot passwords, you should start a popular site and get a Slashbox for it.

: Your tax dollars at work, Israel:

Host: barzili.health.gov.il
Page: /~leonardr/articles/virgin/index.shtml
Last: http://www.google.com/search?q=virgin+defloration

: I'm at the LUG meeting. Dan is giving a talk on security.

I think CS111 might be just a scam to line Leonard Kleinrock's pockets with royalties for his queuing theory book. We're talking about a book published in 1975 here, selling for $95.

I couldn't find two of the books I need for my classes. Bleah. At least the trip through the bookstore only took me about 6 minutes. The line was long but they have learned from previous quarters and had a whole lot of people in the checkout alcoves. So I only spent about 3 minutes in line.

: Sorry, the CS department network has been really flaky lately, as has the new CSUA firewall. I'm going to move Crummy to leonardr.segfault.org or crummy.segfault.org or something in the near future.

: Two of my professors today were wearing the same sort of plaid green shirt that I was wearing. Weird.

: leonardr.segfault.org and crummy.segfault.org will eventually work. Right now they just go to segfault.org. I have to restart Apache, but since sith.segfault.org gets its DNS from linux.com, which doesn't recognize it, sith itself doesn't recognize {leonardr,crummy}.segfault.org. So I gotta wait. I'll try again in the morning.

: I did the guitar part for Sally O'Sally just now, so expect that tomorrow, hopefully.

Mark Gave A Monkey Acid is turning into a very popular song. Dan was playing it for the guys in the LUG yesterday. It could be my surprise hit.

: Woohoo! Sorry, people whose connections I cut off when I accidentally killed Apache.

: I waited until all my socks were dirty before I opened the new socks I got two weeks ago, just so I could feel like someone who buys new socks whenever the old ones get dirty.

: More segfault from me, this one written in frustration so who knows how good it is, although Mike Popovic likes it. I normally don't publish my own stories. But Scott is nowhere to be seen, and I checked this one thoroughly with Dan, so...

:
Leonard: Do you ever feel like there are aliens shooting a nature documentary about you, or am I the only one?
Dan: I think it's just you.

: I forgot to mention that Kris' reign of terror as Daily Bruin cartoonist began today. Behold The Checkerboard Nightmare! A sudden (?) switch to a one-panel format forced Kris to take refuge in hackneyed, punchline-oriented humor, but he showed me one yesterday which is more his style, so it'll pick up. Kris, for the life of me I can't think what the music to that song would be like.

: Arrgh! More "Linux Myths" stories! My story was supposed to put a stop to all that! Arrgh I say!

Someone left a big box of 240 tiny boxes of Raisin Bran Crunch in the kitchen. Apparantly the managers. But that's a whole lot of cereal. And a big waste of packaging.

: I attended Mike Popovic's (I wonder if I should just start calling him Mike) Abacus World Expo keynote. His best line:

I cannot comment on that at this time, but yes.

I wish I'd said that (Oscar Wilde: You will, Leonard, you will).

Anyway. I have another segfault story ready to go. Sometime this weekend, or on Monday.

: CGI works on sith now, but I'm going to hold off for just a little bit longer until I get crummy.com hosted on there. Crummy's long wanderings will finally be over.

: I saw a billboard yesterday, for a credit card. The credit card was said to be "Y3K compliant". The expiration date on the sample credit card had two digits.

I saw another billboard. It was for 1-800-Flowers.com.

I woke up screaming. Initially relieved to be awake, I soon realized that I had seen those billboards before going to sleep the previous night. I screamed some more.

: I just broke the sunglasses Mae Ling gave me. Yes, broke. I did not lose them. I broke them. This is the first time I have broken sunglasses rather than losing them.

: Went to some technology career fair. Never too early to start looking for a job. eToys.com is a perfect match for me; an Internet startup, a Linux shop, needing Perl and Unix people. The woman asked me if I was free before June. Sorry, but I need to go to school.

I don't know if I should apply to scour.net again. I applied for a summer job which I didn't get, but I don't know if I failed their test or if they just didn't like my schedule. I'd ask them outright except I know the guys personally and I don't want to put them in an awkward situation w/r/t me. This is the week of career fairs on campus; there's another one they'll be attending tomorrow. If Ilyah is there I can bring the subject up; I know him well enough that it won't be a problem, I hope. But I don't know if he deigns to visit career fairs.

The best situation for me would be to get hired by VA to work on Segfault full time. But I don't think that's likely to happen. Even if it did happen, they'd hire Scott before they hired me. They already offered VA stock to him and not to me. They already drilled a hole in my throat. Oh well.

Memo to myself: do the dumb things I gotta do. Touch the puppet head. Look up collegehire.com and save.com because they want to do the resume thing online. I can understand that.

: I have a bunch of new Leonardonics terms to write up (eg. device, preposition-buzzword form, etc), but I'm too lazy. I might as well do it now, since I don't have class for 20 minutes.

: Okay, go for it.. There are a couple old ones I never linked to as well.

: Stuff I still have to explain, in Leonardonics or elsewhere: We're your station, x; Forgot the gas card!; the pothead techie joke.

: Chevy Chase: Now, now, calm down, folks. Archaeoraptor liaoningensis is a bird and a dinosaur!

: Today's entertainment provided by people I know:

: Here's an artist's rendering of that dinosaur, but I can't find a picture of the fossil yet. It wants the crust from your sandwich!

: The first Are You An Organism? songs out of the gate are Sodium and Gamera and Swim Free. Both are from an old tape which had recordings good enough to dub, rather than re-record. I would have used this version of Swim Free anyway, as I need Susanna to do the song.

: Fire is going down today for a big upgrade. So move to crummy.segfault.org. I'll update that site before they take fire down.

There's an installfest going on. But I don't like installfests, because they make me deal with hardware, and I'm not very good with hardware. So I went home and am doing homework. I also put my Slashdot code into action over on Segfault. It detects if you gave us your Slashdot username and password via HTTP_REFERER, shows your username and password to you, and links to an informative page telling you what to do about it.

: This is the real site now. Still a few quirks and such. I gotta figure out how to get the old site pages to redirect to the new site pages. I mean, I know how to do it, but I don't want to change every single page manually.

We experienced an earthquake yesterday, barely. Dan didn't even wake up. I woke him up and he wasn't interested. He went back to sleep.

Kris is covering Asia Carrera... with plastic wrap! No, I'm kidding. Kris wouldn't do a thing like that. Kris is covering my song Asia Carrera... with plastic wrap! Argh! I mean, I can't wait to hear it. I don't know if that was preposition-buzzword form. It would be, except the joke wasn't the preposition-buzzword joke and "plastic wrap" isn't a buzzword. THE ANSWER IS NO.

: Let's try this again, like we did last summer.

: Kris pointed me to UnCook, which he says gets rid of the Windows MP3 weirdness, which I believe may have something to do with Windows browsers downloading MP3s as the wrong MIME type. So get that program and fix the MP3s as you download them, or something. Let me know how it goes.

: I'm redoing all the Dada Pokey stuff. So it'll be down and {funky, nonfunctional} for a while.

: Everything Dada Pokey is up to version 2.0, except for the Daily Pokey viewer which I ran out of patience before I got to it. But finally we're getting the post-haitus Pokeys in Dada Pokey.

: Stuff to do:

: Okay, here are the Coffee Junction pictures. Those aren't scanned from the actual pictures, and they're not all the pictures I have, so there will be more once I get access to a scanner.

: And don't forget the picture of Scott and Mae Ling at LWE Spring 1999!

: I went to an IBM thing. I got pizza. Celeste won a laptop! Wow! I am in awe of Celeste's laptop-winning skills.

I ate nothing but junk all day. I bought a huge pastry and ate that for breakfast, then I ate pizza for dinner. Bleah. At least I didn't eat anything equally junky (or anything at all) for lunch.

: I added some more (9) pictures to the Texas travelogue, and split it into three files so that it wouldn't be so graphic-heavy. Well, so its graphic-heaviness wouldn't be felt so prominently. This new batch includes such gems as Roswell Ford, Satellite Under Glass, and two new Quartzite pictures. I still have to thumbnail Gameroom, Roswell Bingo, and (maybe) Spoooon. Then I should probably normalize all the thumbnails and make it a full thumbnail thing instead of a combo thumbnail-big picture thing. Then I'll be done. Not quite a year after the trip which the travelogue commemerates.

: I'm just talkin' 'bout Leonard!

: I have this insane nervous tic in my right eye. It kept waking me up last night, and it's driving me crazy now. Argh I say.

By rights crummy.com should work now, but for some reason it doesn't. Stay tuned.

: While moving stuff to crummy.segfault.org, I accidentally deleted madman7, the guided-hypertext CGI I was working on for Peter. Argh again. I'm going to have to go back to an old version and rewrite that.

: Gameroom and Roswell Bingo added to the travelogue. I decided not to do Spoooon because I no longer remember what it was about the spoon that made my mother mad. Look at that alliteration!

: Dada Pokey 2.0 is all working. The cron jobs are in place; Daily Pokey (which has a great new archive system) will be updated every night, as it was before, and the Pokey archives will be checked for new strips every Friday.

: I'm listening to Kris' cover of Asia Carrera, which he sent me. It's great. I'm kind of tired of listening to the original version, but the cover makes it new again. The vocalizations, the phony coffeehouse setting, everything aces. A couple of nitpicks, which I'm sending over to him; we'll see what develops.

: Today's Checkerboard Nightmare

: The competition was keen, but Shaft retains his title as the cat who's a funky sex machine for all the chicks. Don't forget to vote in the new poll.

: COPOUT 1.0 is almost ready. I just have to do the admin password checking and some kind of admin interface.

: 'Jam Echelon Day' brings down NSA Perl script. I mock my own!

: He's a regular guy, your 'average Joe'. But must everyday situations always end in disaster?

: From The Register:

"Research shows that women use the Web differently from men, most typically using it to rapidly find solutions to otherwise time-consuming problems," said Sarah Carpenter, VP strategy at Freeserve.

Well, what damn stupid things are men doing on the Web? This requires a poll. A rubric poll!

: Campbell was talking about the Monty Hall Paradox today, and I looked at the source code for Monty Hall's Hall of Doors, and I thought, "This Perl is so dingy!". So I rewrote it. MHHD 2.0! Easier to follow, easier to understand, more wacky options than ever before! The only thing I took out was the "play at home" option, cause it messed up the code and I really don't think anyone ever used it.

: I found the URL for the Salon interview with Illiad of User Friendly, which interview will be published tomorrow. The article links to Segfault, and someone from Salon checked the link to make sure it was good, so it logged their referrer, which I snarfed up.

Dan doesn't think it's at all cool that I read the interview before anyone else. So I must turn elsewhere for validation.

I won't reveal the URL, but I will quote the (unintentionally) funniest line: "as the open-source movement exploded over the last two years, so did [Illiad's] fans." Ouch.

I suppose it's more a straight entertainment news story than an interview.

: Paleontologists have found bones indicating that the mighty mosasaur was itself preyed upon by huge, prehistoric sharks. Even more startling is the fact that mosasaurs and sharks would often form nutty vaudeville duos and tour the boards of the ancient seas.

Gotta love Oceans of Kansas and its Real Kansas Wildlife shirt. Also has more cool artists renderings by Dan Varner, who did the vaudeville one.

Saber-toothed herring!

: Here's the Salon article. If you knew a Salon article on a subject was coming up, you could have a good chance of finding it ahead of time. I don't know why I care.

: Looking through a list of O'Reilly books, going up to June 2000. Handling Windows NT Logon Emergencies? How long before my pushd and popd becomes reality?

: I just discovered that Dada Pokey was linked to from memepool. I used to read memepool, but then stopped for some unspecified reason.

: Dada Pokey makes the weblog rounds, old chap! Cardhouse claims to have obtained it from PeterMe, which doesn't appear to actually have a link to it anywhere.

Apathy

That appears to be it. Dada Pokey remains by far the most popular page on my site.

: Dada Pokey linked to on PigDog, not as an article but just as a link. Maybe they couldn't think of enough sarcastic things to say about it.

: Dan wrote a program in Python that generates Slashdot headlines, and I want to use it to write a song about Slashdot. But he changed the focus to generating Jon Katz headlines, because the Katz headlines it generated were way funnier than any of the other headlines, so I'm just going to make up my own Slashdot headlines for the song.

: "Females are 'repressed' males and males are 'repressed' females." There go a whole lot of metaphors.

: I called Scott up today and talked with him about the plan of disabling comments and write-ins. He said go for it. So I did. Am now bracing myself for the torrent of email. Also bracing myself for my phone bill.

: Dan improved the KatzDot thing while I was sleeping (while you were sleeping), including moving it over to my suggestion of the Dada Engine (not affiliated with Dada Pokey except in spirit). Some samples:

Some of them are lousy, but most are pretty good. Good job, Dan.

Actually some of them are funny because they don't make sense ("Beyond the Open Source Hellmouth"). Dan and I were debating whether a good KatzDot engine would have those or not.

: Over 20 messages so far; only 4 have anything negative at all to say. I think I made the right decision. But the tough work of coming up with a system that functions correctly is still ahead.

I got a perfect score on my logic midterm. At last, Smithers! A perfect score! But argh! I have a music history midterm and a database project due Tuesday! Argh!

: Dan's trying to get KatzDot to do the first paragraph of stories. It's not going as well as the headlines, but the stories are funny in a different way. "On Monday this society presented this society with morally superior violence across the country of information as information opening a whole new chapter in Internet. Jane's Intelligence Review is riddled with mind-boggling education."

That may be as good at it gets. I'd be happy with more stuff in the headlines, personally.

: The headline generator is still going strong:

: At last! crummy.com is fully operational! Blast off, with CRUMMY.COM! Interesting shift in usage of that bit. Anyway, woohoo!

: I forgot to thank Dan (aka load) of linux.com for his help in configuring sith's named.

: What the hell? Here's a Slashdot article about the comment disabling. But it's not on the front page. Although it was posted at 9:30AM, it only has about 10 comments, and we've only gotten 2 click-throughs on it. What's going on?

: I got a haircut today. I told Dan, "I have to wash all the hair out of my hair."

: I got this fortune twice, which must be some kind of omen, or maybe some kind of manifestation of some kind of "memoryless property" of a random system.

                                SEMINAR ANNOUNCEMENT

Title:          Are Frogs Turing Compatible?
Speaker:        Don "The Lion" Knuth

                                ABSTRACT
        Several researchers at the University of Louisiana have been studying
the computing power of various amphibians, frogs in particular.  The problem
of frog computability has become a critical issue that ranges across all areas
of computer science.  It has been shown that anything computable by an amphi-
bian community in a fixed-size pond is computable by a frog in the same-size
pond -- that is to say, frogs are Pond-space complete.  We will show that
there is a log-space, polywog-time reduction from any Turing machine program
to a frog.  We will suggest these represent a proper subset of frog-computable
functions.
        This is not just a let's-see-how-far-those-frogs-can-jump seminar.
This is only for hardcore amphibian-computation people and their colleagues.
        Refreshments will be served.  Music will be played.

: Solar power! When will people learn?

: I feel like I have some bizarre disease, but it's probably just my torturous music history midterm, which I had to triage everything else to study for and which is still destined to meet my father in a steel cage.

: What a rip-off! The allegedly incredibly disturbing and graphic X-Files they're rerunning tonight is just the lame "Home" episode! What a rip-off! Wait, I already said that. And they bumped Futurama to next week, too.

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