News You Can Bruise for 2000 January 10

Mon Jan 10 2000 05:55: I have class in 2 hours. Bleah.

Mon Jan 10 2000 06:39: I think this guy might be the coolest person with an AOL homepage, so cool that if you didn't know he had an AOL homepage and someone told you, you'd say "No way!". Even more astounding, he actually has two AOL homepages, each of which contains one of the things I'm going to mention, and nothing else. On one is his essay on the "bowling noir" art form, which is from his book on The Big Lebowski. Just that ratchets him ten notches above every other AOL page I've ever seen. But then he goes off into this great rant:

By the time you finish this slim but magnificent volume, you'll have everything you need to know in order to make your very own Coen brothers film!

You heard us right! Who needs those two skinny Minnesotan oddballs? After you've read this paginated treasure trove of Coenana, you'll be able to create your very own offbeat, inaccessible, yet exquisitely crafted cinema that will leave audiences everywhere stupefied with delight! ...Right, boys?

Magnificent. I may or may not have to have that book.

Mon Jan 10 2000 07:50: Whoops, I don't have class til 10. My EE discussion is tomorrow. Conveniently, both my discussions conflict with my lab so I don't have to feel bad about not going.

Mon Jan 10 2000 14:11: Inspired by Leonardonics, Scott James Remnant has posted Scottish. The page gives the impression that Scott's life is a continuous sitcom in which strangers on the street proposition Scott for sex, to which propositions Scott reacts with comic astonishment.

Mon Jan 10 2000 18:13: My life is a hollow lie!

At the moment, anyway.

Dan's not helping.

Mon Jan 10 2000 18:36: Apparantly the guy from whom my mother bought my Stop The Cascadia Megathrust Subduction Event T-shirt (see /pix/1999/misc/) was predicting the Cascadia Megathrust Subduction Event for the end of last year. He wrote a letter to the Sequim Gazette (forwarded to my mother by my great-aunt, forwarded to me by my mother) explaining why no Cascadia Megathrust Subduction event had occured. Surprisingly, the explanation was not that we had successfully Stopped it. The explanation is that high atmospheric pressure had temporarily deterred the Cascadia Megathrust Subduction Event, but that it was still coming, mark you.

If I were this guy I would cut my losses and move onto something else, like model ships, but I don't have the emotional investment in the subject that he does. If I were to devise and implement a plan to actually Stop the Cascadia Megathrust Subduction Event once and for all, he'd probably punch me in the face.