News You Can Bruise for 2003 November 24

(6) Mon Nov 24 2003 10:03 The Pizza In Little Rock Is No Good:

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

• PROPRIETOR, a purveyor of pizza
• CUSTOMER, would-be consumer of same

[The scene: a pizza store.]

Proprietor: Good morrow to you, sir!
Customer: The same to you, sir.
Prop.: Welcome to my quality pizza-serving establishment. How may I assist you?
Cust.: Your finest "pizza", if you would.
Prop.: Certainly.

[The same store, later. CUSTOMER is seated.]

Proprietor: All right, who has the nachos?
Customer: Nachos? You must have misheard me. I ordered a pizza!
Prop.: Pizza? You must mean "nachos with tomato sauce and pizza toppings".
Cust.: I shall never dine here again! [Arise and exit.]
Prop.: [Calling out] Good luck with the take-out pizza you're planning to get instead! It has the same crappy crust!

Disclaimer: I have not yet eaten at Damgoode Pies (sic), so there might still be hope for pizza in Little Rock.