Mon Jan 24 2005 19:30 PST Accidental Users:
I often write software expecting other people will use it and they don't. So it's always a pleasant surprise when someone uses a piece of software I didn't really intend for anyone else to use. The person is Josh Barratt, fellow Alton Brown fan and Minix hacker, who has installed a copy of The Me Software Map, the script I wrote for managing the "here's a list of all the software I've written" page often seen on nerds' websites. This gives me hope for the future.
(1) Mon Jan 24 2005 20:23 PST I Can't Believe It's Not Not Software Roundup:
Even though I have so much to do and today I shoveled even more on my plate (more about this later), I figured I'd just go through some of the Software Roundup backlog and weed out the ones that turned out to not be interesting. I should have known. I got sucked into the shadowy world of software trying-out and another new Software Roundup was born. Here it is. Now I'm going to turn off the computer, except I need the computer for the stuff I'm supposed to be doing. Dang.
- wbumount dares
to ask the question: who is blocking umount? This program finds the
dastardly processes, and takes pictures of them and posts their
process IDs on a website along with mocking commentary. Why, wbumount,
- News On The March presents: PERL! Used more than you'd think! Once
thought only fit to drive lame CGIs that mix up the panels of penguin comics, Perl is now
recognized for its true purpose: driving mission-critical database
table management CGIs like ir.pl, which you put
on your intranet if you're an airline and use as a ticket system for
your flight delays.
- Someone goes through a lot of trouble to turn their MP3s into an
Icecast stream, and then you go and use ficy and turn that stream
right back into data files. It'd be ironic, if it weren't so not
- Mind AI has the
right philosophy for a successful AI project, but not much else. The
biggest file in the codebase is the IRC interface.
- Are you a real man? Prove it! Eat that beetle! Hm, yes, I guess it
is true that in many cultures insects are consumed by both sexes
without the act having any particular significance. We need something
more universal, something less culturally bound. Wait! I've got it!
The ultimate decision procedure for manitude: do you dare employ the
Real Man's Compiler
Collection? Instead of wasting your time with error messages and
warnings, which ISO has declared effeminate, RMCC simply tells you
whether or not your program compiled successfully. But I say why stop
with compilers? We can make an arbitrary shell command more manly with
my new manify.sh:
$* &> /dev/null && echo "Yes." || echo "No.";
Hm, actually this is basically what RMCC does. Time to take the
masculinity up another notch! Now we must also amplify and embed in our culture
the stigma of a nonzero return code. Why should our program dignify a
"program that fails" (my new political code word) with a reponse?
Surely ignoring failure altogether is more manly.
$* &> /dev/null && echo "Yes.";
And once we've started down that path, the masculine virtues of
silence and fortitude will carry us the rest of the way:
$* &> /dev/null;
Now that's manly! Rrrrrrr!
- If you want to write a Python script that acts just like a web
browser to some unsuspecting website, you have a myriad [Ed. note:
actually 1/3333.33333... myriads] of options. Python Browser Poseur, Perl port mechanize, and
mechanize fork mechanoid. In conjunction
with Beautiful Soup, an unbeatable combination for prying open some
difficult oyster shell of a site. Which is the best? How should I
know? What does this look like, some sort of
Software... Roundup... look over there!
- See? Isn't this more interesting? It's the Open Text Summarizer, which
uses stemmers and such to find only the juicy parts of standard
input. To prove its mettle I had it summarize Proust's Remembrance
of Things Past. The result:
For a long time I used to go to bed early. Suppose that, towards
morning, after a night of insomnia, sleep descends upon him while he
is reading, in quite a d ifferent position from that in which he
normally goes to sleep, he has only to lift his arm to arrest the sun
and turn it back in its course, and, at the moment of waking, he will
have no idea of the time, but--
I'm sorry, time's up.
And now the winner. For fear of aspersions being cast upon my Y
chromosome, I have no choice but to hand the award to the Real Man's
Compiler Collection, that blackmailing constable of social
norms. Enjoy this limerick, Real Man's Compiler Collection:
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