News You Can Bruise for 2007 December 4

(1) Tue Dec 04 2007 10:27 I Gotta Stop: One more: "United States of America shaped food product"

Update: Rachel reminded me of the Texas cheese. I think when we cleaned out my mother's freezer after she died that cheese was still in there.

(3) Tue Dec 04 2007 21:39: I guess today is Patent Madness Day. Incited by Sumana I searched the patent database for swear words and other phrases likely to turn up funny parts of patents. The former was fruitless except for funny puerile OCR errors (notable exception). The latter worked out well.

Strangely, "they mocked me" and "i'll show them all" never show up in patent applications. Ahmed El Dessouky does point out, sensibly, that "it would be impractical to show them all."

"Ridiculous" got a bunch of good results. A sample of my findings:

• "The ornamental masks and the 'interchangeable' lower section... will be put on the market so as to be able to be bought directly by the consumer at a ridiculous price."
• (Good morning; Good afternoon; Good evening), (Name). Did you know that for many people with conditions just like yours, pacing oneself is an important aspect of managing discomfort? It's true. Sometimes, we just try to do too much -- and for good reasons...
• Check out this guy's signature. I'd like a font of that! Also this patent application has a long rant against the prevailing philosophies of farming.
• SAY TIME GIVE RASPBERRY
• Design for a handle for spoons includes a tiny bust of Benjamin Harrison. Yes, Harrison who bravely went, for his native land to shoot, whereas Grover Cleveland skulked behind the nearest substitute.
• An exploding golf ball.