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Mashteroids: Adam never responded to my Dada Dwarf Dozens, so I'm unilaterally posting another generative-text project to shame him. This project came out of my discovery of asteroids named after dinosaurs, and the quick follow-up discovery that a) if you name an asteroid you also get to write a little description of the person or place the asteroid is named after, and b) although you can write pretty much anything you want in that description, all the descriptions use the same rhetorical style.

There are many ways to have an asteroid named after you. You can be a colleague and/or friend of the discoverer (10965 van Leverink, 9945 Karinaxavier), a leader in some non-science field (8749 Beatles), or just a really big ravine (8933 Kurobe). But in all cases the description of your asteroid will be a few short sentences explaining why you are cool.

These sentences flow into each other so well, I decided to mash up some asteroids, creating multi-talented people whose accomplishments span the entire space of "things that might cause someone to name an asteroid after you". Here are a few of the new asteroids:

33017 Anomalocaris-Benkhoff-Malpighi

Anomalocaris, a large carnivorous arthropod, was one of the many uniquely shaped multicellular creatures that appeared during the Cambrian explosion. He was instrumental in organizing the ACM 2002 conference. A pioneer in the use of the microscope in anatomy, he made fundamental studies of the lungs.

29873 Fröbel-Carpino-Rebentrost

The Thuringian pedagogue Friedrich Fröbel (1782-1852) was committed to the education of young children. From his initial studies of satellite geodesy, he acquired a taste for extreme accuracy in orbit determination, applying these skills to the study of the dynamics of solar-system bodies in projects such as LONGSTOP and SPACEGUARD. As a reward for curing elector Johann Georg II, he was invited to pick some plants from the elector's garden.

22752 Johnreid-Novalis

Geologist John Barlow Reid (b. 1940), a teacher for 30 years at Hampshire College, Massachusetts, has studied the earth and moon using isotopic methods. In one of his novels he uses the image of a blue flower for the magical task poets have.

54263 Lyubimets-Vanessa-Mae-Inoutadataka-Racquetball-Stolte

Lyubimets, the Russian word for `darling', seems to be an appropriate name for Grigorij (b. 2000), grandson of the Crimean astronomer Lyudmila Karachkina. Her debut album in 1995 sold two million copies. He began surveying in Hokkaido at his own expense. Today the sport is played on a four-wall court by two to four players with a short racquet and a small rubber ball. A professor of media research, Stolte initiated international TV channels (ARTE, 3SAT) in a European cooperation.

30198 Chanwainam-Nicolewen-Tugendhat

Chan Wainam (b. 1919), who lives in Hong Kong, has devoted his energies to education and charity in China. Wen (b. 1989) is a finalist in the 2002 Discovery Channel Young Scientist Challenge (DCYSC), a middle school science competition, for her botany and zoology project. It was built by Mies van der Rohe in Brno in 1930 as a family villa of great elegance, following the idea of freely floating space.

36994 Vischer-Protea-D´Haveloose-Engström

Named for Peter Vischer the Elder (c.1460-1529), the greatest German brass-caster master in the Middle Ages. They are native to the Southern Hemisphere, where they grow wild. He was magnificient in his efforts to relieve suffering, but his own neck injuries finally made him unable to operate any more. Probably Sweden's best painter of caricatures, he is best known for his black and white drawings illustrating very short stories.


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