(2) Fri Jan 22 2016 23:07 The Minecraft (And Other Games) Archive Project:
As suggested in the previous Minecraft Archive Project post, I have now completed a capture of the CurseForge family of sites. They host a lot of Minecraft stuff I hadn't downloaded before, including the popular Feed the Beast series of modpacks, lots of other modpacks, mods, and a ton of Bukkit plugins (not really sure what those are or how they differ from mods TBH).
CurseForge also has sites for Terraria and Kerbal Space Program, as well as many other games I haven't heard of or don't care about. I paid $30 for a premium membership and grabbed it all, downloading about 500 gigabytes of images and binaries. This doubles the size of the 201512 capture (though it probably introduces a lot of duplicates).
Here are the spoils, ordered by game:
|Game ||What ||Capture Size (GB)|
|Firefall ||Add-ons ||<1 |
|Kerbal Space Program ||Mods ||23 |
|Kerbal Space Program ||Shareables ||1.8 |
|Minecraft ||Bukkit plugins ||19 |
|Minecraft ||Customization ||<1 |
|Minecraft ||Modpacks (Feed the Beast) || 15 |
|Minecraft ||Modpacks (Other) ||87 |
|Minecraft ||Mods ||33 |
|Minecraft ||Resource Packs ||80 |
|Minecraft ||Worlds ||45 |
|Rift ||Add-ons ||7.5 |
|Runes of Magic ||Add-ons ||1.8|
|Skyrim ||Mods ||6.4 |
|Starcraft 2 ||Assets ||4.7 |
|Starcraft 2 ||Maps ||46 |
|Terraria ||Maps ||4.8 |
|The Elder Scrolls Online ||Add-ons ||<1|
|The Secret World ||Mods ||<1 |
|Wildstar ||Add-ons ||1.7|
|World of Tanks ||Mods ||40 |
|World of Tanks ||Skins ||12 |
|World of Warcraft ||Addons ||48 |
Here's the really cool part: CurseForge projects frequently link to Git repositories. I cloned every one I could find. I ended up with 5000 Minecraft/Bukkit repositories totalling 47 gigs, 103 Kerbal Space Program repositories totalling 6 gigs, and a couple hundred megabytes here and there for the other games. That's over 50 gigs of game-mod source code, which I predict will be a lot more useful to the future than a bunch of JAR files.
These numbers are gloriously huge and there are two reasons. 1. this is the first capture I've done of CurseForge, and possibly the only full capture I will ever do. So I got stuff dating back several years. 2. CurseForge keeps a full history of your uploaded files, not just the most recent version (which is typically what you'd find on Planet Minecraft or the Minecraft forum). Some of the World of Warcraft add-ons have hundreds of releases! I guess because they have to be re-released for every client update. And it doesn't take many releases for a 100MB Minecraft mod pack to start becoming huge.
Anyway, as always it's good to be done with a project like this, so I can work on other stuff, like all the short stories I owe people.
Sun Jan 10 2016 08:36 Minecraft Archive Project: The 201512 Capture:
On December 27th I started the third capture for the Minecraft Archive Project. Previous captures ran in February 2015 and March 2014. This time I collected about 420 gigabytes of material.
Here's the breakdown by what I believe the new files to be:
|Type||Number of files||Collective size|
|Maps (MCPE)||1552||2 GB|
|Resource packs||2137||30 GB|
|Resource packs (MCPE) ||176||172 MB|
|Mods||6082 ||10 GB|
|Mods (MCPE)||1839||1 GB|
|Server records||25923||361 MB|
|Blog posts||6562||129 MB|
This time I think I was able to archive about 60-65% of the maps I saw, compared to 73% in the last capture. Even so, we ended up with 33k new maps in this capture versus 22k in the last one--and I didn't even get the adf.ly maps this time! (Nor will I--it's a huge pain and I'm sick of it.) 2012 was the single biggest year for custom Minecraft maps, and there was a downward trend visible in 2013 and 2014, but it looks like 2015 was really huge.
Couple new features in this capture: I started keeping track of blog posts and server records from Planet Minecraft. Server records are especially important because they usually feature screenshots, and in twenty years those screenshots will be the only record of what those servers looked like.
I've completely given up on the idea of archiving public servers--it's still theoretically possible but it's a full-time job for two developers, so I'd need to get a grant or some volunteer interest from the modding comunity. In fact, a few months ago the multiuser server I played Minecraft on went down, and I don't know whether my stuff is still around. That's life! Gonna archive the screenshots.
The full dataset is now about 2.4 terabytes. I bought a new drive to store the archive and set it up with XFS, and it does seem to improve the performance when iterating over the file set.
As always I'm putting a copy of the data on a server at NYPL Labs, and I recently gave Jason Scott a drive that contained the first two captures, so he can do whatever Jason thing he wants with the data. I don't have any plans to make this archive public, or even to re-run the Minecraft Geologic Survey on the new data. My maximum supportable commitment is spending some time once a year to shepherd these scripts through saving a representative sample of this artform.
I'm going to leave everything else to the future when the archive becomes valuable to other people. I am doing exploratory work for adding a third site to the archive, but that's all I'll say about that for now.
Thu Jan 07 2016 08:07 The Crummy.com Review of Things 2015:
Another year has gone, but what's the big deal? Let's remember the magical moments, like 12:12:12 on 12/12, or June 30th's leap second. Good timestamps, good timestamps. Here are the most worthwhile investments of my hard-earned 2015:
I've been giving books short shrift by only mentioning a single Crummy.com Book of the Year, and in 2015 I started reading books on my commute (partly because I'm developing a tool that helps people read books on their commute), so I can afford to mention more than one. I have records of reading 25 books this year, and probably a couple more slipped through the cracks, but I've got a solid best-of slate.
The 2015 Crummy.com Book of the Year is Dragonfly: NASA And The Crisis Aboard Mir by Bryan Burrough. So much good stuff in that book. If you want to write fictional dingy spacecraft, you can't do better than looking at the dingy spacecraft we've actually built.
- Nightwood by Djuna Barnes (who needs her own NYCB post)
- Jim Henson: The Biography by Brian Jay Jones
- You Can't Win by Jack Black (not that Jack Black)
- The Space Opera Renaissance, ed. David G. Hartwell and Kathryn Cramer (book needs its own NYCB post)
- Mastering the Art of Soviet Cooking, by Anya von Bremzen
- The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, by Becky Chambers
Honorable mention to Mallworld by Somtow Sucharitkul, a book that I didn't love, but I was blown away by its inventiveness. In 1982, Sucharitkul crammed Mallworld with all the jokes that would later be used in Futurama.
Saw ninety-one features this year. As always, only films I saw for the first time are eligible for consideration, though that only eliminates three. Here are my must-see movies:
- The Americanization Of Emily (1964)
- Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
- The Brink's Job (1978)
- Inside Out (2015)
- Sullivan's Travels (1941)
- Sunset Boulevard (1950)
- The Breaking Point (1950)
- The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
- Sweet Smell of Success (1957)
- Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)
- The Parallax View (1974)
- Nightmare Alley (1947)
And this year's bumper crop of "recommended" films:
- The Best of Everything (1959)
- Clueless (1995)
- Wagon Master (1950)
- The Crimson Kimono (1959)
- The Godfather, Part II (1974)
- Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
- Inside Man (2006)
- The Grapes of Wrath (1939)
- Kundo: Age of the Rampant (2014)
- Ed Wood (1994)
- How To Marry A Millionaire (1953)
- Brainstorm (1983)
- Invention For Destruction (1958)
Honorable mentions to the burglary in Rififi (1955) and the hotel tour in The Shining (1980). I don't want to sit through the whole movie again but those scenes were awesome.
Looking at the list of my follows I feel like I need to broaden my bot horizons because I love all of Allison's bots (except that damn Unicode Ebooks, which still has three more followers than Smooth Unicode) and I love bots that post images from image collections, and that doesn't seem like a very diverse set. Anyway, here are my faves of 2015:
Didn't play a lot of new video games this year because of the persistent problem with my computer shutting off if I dare to start up a game. I did replace the computer near the end of the year, so there will probably be more games in 2016. In the meantime, the Crummy.com Game of the Year is the super-atmospheric This War of Mine; its only flaw, which it shares with nearly all games, is that it's not roguelike enough.
A couple runners-up and honorable mentions:
- 80 Days
- Mini Metro
I played board games pretty regularly but the only new game I remember is the much-loved "Code Names", which I also think is great.
I'd wanted to do an escape room this year, but put the idea on hold when Sumana wasn't interested. Near the end of the year, though, Pat Rafferty (who now works at an escape room in Portland) invited me to join his room-escaping team, and I
leapt stood up at the opportunity. As part of a crew of six, I helped to repair a drifting spacecraft. It was really immersive, finally allowing me to live the experience of crawling through a Jeffries tube.
My only complaint is the puzzles were free-to-play iOS game-level stuff. I understand why you have to do it that way, since none of us would be able to repair a spacecraft in real life, but it meant that a very immersive exploration experience was constantly interrupted by having to decode some Morse Code or solve cheesy riddles. Same reason I didn't like Myst. I did like the puzzles that made you combine objects.
Stereotypically this section would be called "Going Outside", but all the things I want to talk about happened indoors. In fact, two of them happened in the same building: the Town Hall Theater near Times Square. In fact, all of them, since I moved the escape room to the previous section,
Sumana and I both grew up listening to NPR, and we're both fans of the schticky comedy and down-home existentialism of A Prairie Home Companion (though less ardent fans than we were as teenagers). 2015 was the year I told Sumana (paraphrase) "You know, PHC does shows in New York, and as a project focused around a single individual who has been doing it since before we were born, it might not be around for much longer. We should see it live while we have the opportunity." Sumana was convinced by my airtight logic, and we caught the April 25th show. We had lousy seats but it was fun!
Then, near the end of the year, the PDQ Bach Golden Anniversary Concert Kickstarter was announced. As per previous paragraph, Sumana and I are also fans of Peter Schickele's ur-podcast Schickele Mix, so we went through a similar process, although I ended up going to the concert alone. This time I had a great seat! Beautiful music, lots of laughs, I'm really glad I went.
As you can see from the associated pictures, I lost a lot of weight in 2015. I still have a little more planned, but I'm very close to the impossible-seeming target weight I set in July. I found the Atkins diet to be very effective. I don't think I have a lot of self-control, but I am very, very stubborn, and Atkins lets you substitute stubbornness for self-control.
Because of this I didn't exactly spend a lot of time in 2015 exploring New York's burgeoned restaurant scene, and the Food section will be correspondingly short. However, I want to give a special shout-out to the King of Falafel halal food truck in Astoria. See, most places, if you order a meal without the carby thing, they'll simply omit the carby thing, yielding about 60% of a meal. However, if you order a plate at King of Falafel and ask for no rice, they will fill up the empty space with more meat and salad, and you still get a full meal. Thanks, King of Falafel. Saved my sanity.
Also this sugar-free flourless chocolate cake recipe is good for managing your chocolate cravings. Honorable mention: xylitol.
People say that being on Atkins normalizes your energy level, getting rid of the highs and crashes, and I've found this to be true but very inconvenient, since the highs are where I do all my creative work, and the crashes happen at night, a.k.a. "getting sleepy", or they happen at 2 PM, when I drink some tea, problem solved. Right now I feel like it's 1:30 PM all day. Anyway, if you don't count the amazing work I did going from Before to After, 2015 wasn't my most productive year, since I spent half the year in power-saving mode.
But I did finish Situation Normal, and handed it off to an agent, so the book is officially Not My Problem. I've started work on a new novel, Mine, my take on the classic Big Dumb Object In Space story.
I wrote four short stories: "We, the Unwilling" (a bonus story for Situation Normal); "The Katie Event" (the third in the Awesome Dinosaurs trilogy, which you haven't seen because the second in the trilogy needs a revision); "Worm Hunt" (exploratory work for a novel I probably won't write); and "Only G51 Kids Will Remember These Five Moments", which I think I can sell if I ever get around to sending it out.
I gave three talks of note:
I crafted a fabulous NaNoGenMo entry with a one-line shell script: Alphabetical Order.
Four bots came from my fingers in 2015:
I also breathed new life into Smooth Unicode by implementing beautiful emoji mosaics.
Finally I want to wish all of you readers the best in 2016, and to ask you to tell me what you liked in 2015. or what you're proud of accomplishing. I like other peoples' posts like this (Here's Allison's, here's Darius's), and I think taking a moment at the beginning of the new year to look back is satisfying in a way that can't be matched by the corporate "best of the year" lists that dominate the end of the old year.
(1) Tue Dec 29 2015 17:13 December Film Roundup:
The final Film Roundup of the year! Step onto the red carpet, and... no, wipe your feet first! Geez.
- The Last Blitzkrieg (1959): A weird little war movie that I watched for only one reason: it's the only movie I've ever heard of that features a character named Leonard Richardson. Except that's not really his name! "Leonard Richardson" is an alias the main character steals from a red-blooded American POW to carry out a nefarious scheme.
This movie was nearly interesting--there were some moments when it could have taken a really cool turn, got some dramatic irony or moral ambiguity going, a la The Americanization of Emily. But nope! It's a normal WWII movie that was made fourteen years after the war ended. Bizarre.
- Sunset Boulevard (1950): This is a great movie. Exactly as you'd expect me to say. Classic dark-roast Wilder. 'Nuff said.
- The Breaking Point (1950): The sort of surprise that keeps me coming back to the museum. Sometimes I know a film will be great ahead of time, sometimes for educational purposes I watch a "classic" I don't think I'll like, and once in a while I'm blown away by a film I had no particular expectations for. Such was The Breaking Point. This film rises above popcorn noir by focusing not on the gritty glamor of the underworld but on the corruption of a decent family man. Great, great stuff.
- Bring Me the Head of Tim Horton (2015): Guy Maddin somehow gets a job doing the behind-the-scenes documentary on a Canadian war movie. He does his best to bite the hand that feeds. Some good lines ("A war movie is a funeral with no body.") and great gags. The weird video effects are inspired by 80s VHS movies and video games, and thus I find them less annoying than the usual silent-movie schtick. I think Maddin should stick this film on Vimeo.
- Hitchcock/Truffaut (2015): Pretty educational. It was fun to hear Truffaut be a huge fanboy. If I'd known about the book this film is about, my "French New Wave films are secretly genre films" theory would have gotten off the ground a lot sooner. The things you miss out on by not going to film school.
- The Golden Cane Warrior (2014): Starts out really cool, but the best character (the martial-arts mom) dies in the first act, her kids take over, and the middle of the film is kind of a slog. It comes back together for the big fight at the end. Sumana liked it more than I did.
A character in this movie does the most heroic thing you can do in this sort of movie: she stops a village from being burned down, preventing the traditional "burnt village" scene. The villagers get slaughtered anyway, but a valiant effort.
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015): This was going to be my Christmas movie to see with Susanna, but she had to take care of her new baby, so I saw it with John and the niblings who were old enough for it. This movie provides a good illustration of the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars: J. J. Abrams ruined Star Trek, but he did an excellent job with Star Wars.
It's totally Abrams-friendly! Star Wars is based on action set-pieces and eyeball kicks, not thought experiments. The Star Trek characters are all military officers who serve together, but the Star Wars characters are distinctive archetypes, so it doesn't bog the film down to give everyone their scene. We expect a Star Wars movie to have a megalomanical villain, so it's not a disappointment when it happens every single time. The morality is cut and dried: light side, dark side. You can make the hero fight a giant spider in the second act and it makes perfect sense.
I think Star Trek is an important contribution to human culture, whereas I think Star Wars is a fun couple of movies that got out of hand, but I gotta face facts: the Star Wars movies that actually get made are now better than the Star Trek movies that actually get made. I don't like it, but that's what how Hollywood works.
Anyway, a really fun movie. I'm especially tickled that they made the hypothetical "plumbing contractor who works on the Death Star" from Clerks into a compelling, canonical Star Wars character.
- The Last Picture Show (1971): I guess this is the month where I watched movies that claimed to feature "The Last" of something. Appropriate, as this is The Last time I will watch this film. I'm not going to say this is a 'bad' film, there's a lot of good in it, but it hits too close for comfort (I basically grew up in that town) and I also encountered two of my common bugbears:
One, as I've mentioned before, ninety minutes is kind of my cutoff point. I'll watch almost any kind of film if you can keep it to ninety minutes. If you go beyond that point, I need something compelling, like a plot, or fight sequences, or I get antsy. This film is over two hours long, and...
I'm averse to films that could end at any time. The Last Picture Show is such a film. It has a through-line, sure, but since the point of the film is that life is a stochastic process that just creeps at its petty pace to the last syllable of recorded time, I'm sitting here at minute 90+k unsure if this movie's ever going to be over or what. Whereas Celine and Julie Go Boating has a rough first hour, but by ninety minutes a plot is apparent, and by the two-hour mark you can see what has to happen for the film to come to a conclusion.
Just to end on a positive note, it was nice to see young Jeff Bridges. And if you want a cynical 1970s black-and-white Bogdanavich film about the horrible past that's funny and full of life, check out Paper Moon (1973). That movie's more my speed.
- The Cheap Detective (1978): Rewatch with Beth over New Year's Eve. A classic pre-Airplane! spoof with incredible casting (Peter Falk! Louise Fletcher! Stockard Channing!) that gets a lot of laughs out of its absurd dialogue but isn't the perfect classic I remember, because I mentally edited out the bad/boring/offensive parts.
Hilarious and worth a watch, but not tight enough to be a work of genius. Trying to do The Maltese Falcon and The Big Sleep and Casablanca all at once makes it less a tightly focused experience like Airplane! and more like the omnibus spoof movies that dominated stupid comedy in the 2000s. I do think this movie is funnier overall than Airplane!, but I prefer verbal comedy to sight gags, and there's no wasted space in Airplane!. Unless I mentally edited that movie as well.
And now, the Television Spotlight focuses on a show that we watched in its entirety
- John Adams (2008): Hamilton-mania continues to run rampant in our household, and I had the idea to apply HBO's recent miniseries to Sumana's forehead as a sort of poultice. We had a good time and enjoyed the subtle shout-outs to last month's poultice, 1776. The John/Abigail relationship is always a winner.
If you look at the reviews for this movie, you'll see that a lot of the low-rated reviews are based on complaints about historical inaccuracies, but they're generally pretty minor inaccuracies, well within the range of... Creative License. In fact, in the final episode, Adams, talking to John Trumbull, makes the 'historical inaccuracy' critique more effectively than most John Adams reviewers, who admittedly may not have made it to the final episode. Just a little bit of fourth-wall breaking to send you on your way.
I haven't read the book but I think this series does a good job of portraying Adams the way he might have seen himself: as an unappreciated figure, always working away in someone else's shadow, a man whose greatest accomplishment as president was having the guts to do nothing when the public was demanding he make a horrible mistake.
Tue Dec 01 2015 22:17 November Film Roundup:
I remember this month's movies being meh-ful, but when I went back to the list there were three really good movies, and I'd just allowed my memories to be overwhelmed by the underwhelming movies, because I saw the three really good movies all in a row. No more! Let joy be unconfined!
- Aparajito (1956): I believe this movie was bankrolled by Indian moms looking for effective ways to guilt-trip their children. I saw this while Sumana was out of town. Sumana really wants to watch the Apu trilogy, and I'm happy to watch these movies with her, but it's the kind of episodic character study stereotypically associated with foreign film and it's not a great way for me to spend my alone time. PS: Call your mother!
- My Name Is Nobody (1973): An attempt to deconstruct the spaghetti western a la Sergio Leone, the way John Ford deconstructed his own work The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. I don't think it works very well. Ford's films are full of humor and in Liberty Valance he uses that humor to fuel the dramatic irony. I find spaghetti westerns effective insofar as they're bleak and kinda humorless, and this film pours on the humor to create a satire of the genre. Admittedly this was (barely) pre-Blazing Saddles, so I understand why this movie was made, but between Blazing Saddles on the lowbrow end and Liberty Valance on the highbrow, the western is pretty well deconstructed by 1974.
This movie contains an awesome sight gag involving more pool balls on a pool table than I've ever seen before. I'll always remember that sight gag and I've already forgotten most of the rest of this movie. On IMDB for this film Sergio Leone is credited with "idea", and I hope his idea was "you should do a gag with a bunch of pool balls on a pool table" and not "what if you made a film that exposed the shallow conception of heroism in the western?" Because John Ford already had that idea.
- 1776 (1972): Among movies whose titles are years, the one with the largest delta from the year the movie was made is probably One Million Years B.C. (1966), and the smallest is Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984). In between we have... this fine movie. You may know that Sumana is obsessed with Hamilton, but I don't want to listen to the soundtrack until I've seen the play, so we saw 1776 together as a compromise move because our Hamilton tickets aren't until next year.
Sumana found it a learning experience since 1776 was a big influence on Hamilton. We agree that it's incredibly ahistorical and that the songs are overall not great (Sumana: "Do we really need a song about how Jefferson plays the violin?"). The villains (i.e. the Southern reactionaries) have the best songs, like the one that exposes New England's complicity in the slave trade. Howard da Silva does a great job playing Benjamin Franklin as I've always pictured him: as America's wacky Falstaffian uncle. According to IMDB da Silva also portrayed Franklin "in a National Park Service film presented in the 70s and 80s at Ben Franklin's home at Franklin Court, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania," making this also the federal government's official portrayal of Franklin.
- Johnny Guitar (1954): Didn't find it that enjoyable, and in retrospect I mainly wanted to see this because everyone in the screenshots looks like Jeff Goldblum in Buckaroo Banzai. Not a good reason to see a movie. I did like Joan Crawford being real brassy. Just a hunch, but I think this movie is a lot better if you're a forty-year-old gay man. I feel that's the approximate shape of the thing I don't understand here.
- Out of the Past (1947): Stereotypical film noir with a character named Leonard! Boosts my hypothesis that Leonard is a perfect film noir name. For heroes, villains, thugs, cops, society gents or skid row bums... "Leonard" always works. Consider naming your next noir character Leonard!
Oh yeah, everything else about the movie. The first few scenes defied convention with their setting and mood, but it settled in to the familiar pathways pretty quickly. Overall... popcorn noir, recommended, but not highly.
- Nightmare Alley (1947): Now this is some noir. It starts at a carnival, the place where all happiness is false and misery is paraded as entertainment. And it all goes downhill from there, and you're along for the ride. Great stuff. In particular the portrayal of a ruthless woman psychiatrist who sleeps in a Ruth Bader Ginsberg outfit seems unusually progressive for 1947.
- Clueless (1995): One of Sumana's all-time favorites, and an entry on our "women directors" watchlist. I saw it for the first time this month and I gotta say this is a great movie. The characters change over the course of the film, they avoid being John Hughes teen stereotypes, and the only real villain is dispatched pretty early on, allowing for plenty of conflict that's not predicated on someone being the antagonist. Lots of laugh-out-loud moments for me.
One weird thing: the cell phone jokes don't land anymore. You can see them happening, you know they are jokes, but everyone has cell phones now so the jokes don't do anything. They're like the ghosts of jokes.
- The Crimson Kimono (1959): Wow, what an unusual movie. It's resembles noir, but it's too procedural, too earnest, and it has a happy ending. None of the cops are crooked; they just have personal problems that get in the way of their work. It goes overboard showing that Japanese-Americans are good, patriotic Americans. In general, it has too much faith in humanity to be film noir. But it was more daring in its time than more cynical movies, and it's the rare movie that makes me want to seek out more of this director's vision. Really glad I saw this one.
- It's the Old Army Game (1926): At this point I gotta say that W.C. Fields, like Jerry Lewis, is one of those comic legends I just don't find funny. A misanthropic loser can be a hilarious character, but I only laughed at some of the physical comedy (like the Stooges but more highbrow). The best thing about this movie was that the Zeppoish love interest resembles Derek Waters from Drunk History, allowing me to pretend that the whole thing was a Drunk History vignette gone wrong.
This silent film includes a title card containing must be the ultimate W.C. Fields line: "I'll hit him in the face with this kid!"
- In honor of Clueless, this month the Television Spotlight focuses on Square Pegs (1982), a really smart television show about high school girls, created by SNL writer Anne Beatts. It's clever and funny in the same way as Clueless, but it's even better because it focuses on the misfits rather than the popular kids. Watch it today! Includes Devo.
Fri Nov 27 2015 16:09 Roy's Postcards Return[s]!:
Back in 2009 I started a project to transcribe and put online over 1000 postcards my dad bought in the 1980s. The toolchain that took things from postcards to web pages was always kind of rickety, and the project petered out altogether when my sisters sent me about 500 more postcards that Dad sent them. I decided I wouldn't start it up again until I'd transcribed all 1500 postcards and could put everything up at once.
Now it's done! The best way to experience it is through the daily @RoyPostcards bot. This is a labor of love for me, so I'm not as concerned that people follow along, but I tried to add interesting commentary whenever I could, and it's an interesting glimpse into everyday life in the 80s.
Sun Nov 01 2015 16:17 October Film Roundup:
This month starts very mainstream, with lots of gunplay and explosions, but—plot twist!—takes a right turn into the avant-garde. And then ends with some random stuff. Just the way I, and, hopefully, you, like it.
- Inside Man (2006): A Sumana recommendation. I never would have seen this movie based on the poster. It looks like "Denzel Washington Has A Gun: Part XI". If I were in charge of the poster it would just say "SPIKE LEE MADE A HEIST MOVIE". However, the point is moot, the poster was designed, let's just live with it.
This movie's really fun. It's got good twists, all the characters are genre-savvy ("This isn't Dog Day Afternoon"), and the tension to violence ratio is very very high. It's also full of classic New York set pieces like the cops suddenly falling into a big argument about MTA trains versus Metro North. Good stuff.
Fictional video game watch: the kid in this movie is playing a PSP game that's a parody of 50 Cent: Bulletproof.
- Sneakers (1992): Another Sumana recommendation. I know that this is Brendan's favorite movie, but it's... not my favorite movie. It is okay. I like its portrayal of pre-Internet tech companies and the common varieties of nerd. The action is corny, and even though they've both done thrillers before I feel like Robert Redford and Sidney Poitier are kind of acting below their pay grades. I... don't regret seeing it? But not a revelation or anything.
- The Martian (2015): Matt Damon, regretting his performance in Interstellar (2015) as the least competent astronaut imaginable, called a Hollywood do-over and portrayed the most competent astronaut imaginable. Seen with Sarah, who disliked it, not as much as Interstellar, but she felt it was like watching a documentary. I like documentaries, so although I wasn't crazy about this movie I had a good time. I loved the 'aha!' moments of puzzle-solving that did duty for plot twists.
My least favorite thing about The Martian: Jeff Daniels's incompetent NASA administrator. I don't object to portraying NASA brass as incompetent, but when something like this happens, and your reaction is sustained incompetence, you can't keep your job. Yet there he is in the epilogue, still running NASA, happy as a clam. I hate clams. Always so damn happy. Who do they think they are?
This film takes an Alphaville strategy where, logically, the film must be set in the future, but the Earth scenes are effectively set in 2015. All the gee-whiz technology is in the space or Mars scenes. It's a good choice, and something you don't notice watching the movie in 2015, but I don't think it will hold up well. But maybe it's better than having some token future changes. Also they did a lot of smaller-scale time skipping, where events on Mars are interspersed with what happens on Earth twelve minutes later, when Earthlings become aware of what happened in the previous shot. I think that decision will probably age well.
Fictional video game watch: this movie mentions real video games. No credit.
- In Bruges (2008): They say the neon lights are bright... in Bruges. This was a fun movie that had some laughs, some really good plot twists, and then disappeared up its own ass trying to set up an ending with maximum dramatic irony. Great dialogue though. I was inspired to see this movie by this random NYCB comment from 2012, so beware! You never know when you might inspire me?
- Bombay Velvet (2015): I witnessed an interesting phenomenon during this movie. It's full of things Sumana hates in movies—mainly graphic violence against women—but unlike other movies the presence of these elements didn't make her hate the movie as a whole. She really liked this movie, because pretty much everyone in the movie is Indian. Getting to see a nearly all-Indian cast in a gritty retro-noir movie is a rare occurrence.
This is an Indian movie for people who love American movies, which may explain why its IMDB rating is a measly 5.8 compared to Baahubali's bestounding 8.8. The Scorsese influence (via Scorsese's editor Thelma Schoonmaker) is really strong. In addition to the violence and the lavish spectacle you get riffs on other Scorsese films: Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, The King of Comedy; maybe Shutter Island, I dunno, didn't see that one. The political corruption was top-notch.
Overall it's kind of a borderline recommendation for me, but I thought it was a better take on the "rags to blood-soaked riches" story than Scarface, so if you love that kind of movie, I think you'd really like Bombay Velvet.
Also, Bombay Velvet probably has the best soundtrack of any movie I've seen since the invention of Film Roundup. Hot nightclub jazz + all-out Bollywood singing. It's great.
- The Forbidden Room (2015): I feel like Guy Maddin is the Thomas Pynchon of avant-garde film. He surveys the landscape and says "Damn, this is a landscape of pretentious crap. I'm going to show you how it should be done, but at the same time I'm going to be really goofy so you know I don't take it seriously." And that's The Forbidden Room. It's a pretty fun movie but it's really painful to look at. Everything looks like it's been sitting in a film canister in someone's garage for sixty years, and the fact that it's intentional doesn't help.
The only visuals I enjoyed were the animated appearance of the nightclub singer Blob-U-Lo(?), a sort of incomprehensible phenomenon that can only be perceived as a hole in space. Super creative. He/it sings a song about being obsessed with butts, in case you were doubting the Pynchon comparison. Here's the music video.
- World of Tomorrow (2015): A fun sci-fi short, full of cool ideas and abstract eyeball kicks. Recommended.
- Cosmodrama (2015): I pitched this to Sarah as "the antidote to The Martian", and that much is correct. In The Martian an astronaut is abandoned by his companions and must rely on Science™. In Cosmodrama a group of astronauts are abandoned by Science™ itself, and must recreate their knowledge of the universe from scratch. It's a French film, so you know it's all a metaphor for the human condition.
For the first time ever, I was annoyed that a science fiction film included too much science. You could take the title literally: it's a dramatization of Cosmos (1980). Unfortunately this makes it unclear which of the movie's ideas you're supposed to take seriously once you leave the theater.
If you're already up on dark energy you don't need to see people explaining it; if you're not, this film makes it feel like a plot device instead of a real-world scientific mystery. I really liked the use of Lee Smolin's hypothesis about universes being created inside black holes (this is the official multiverse cosmology in Constellation Games, BTW), but it's just a hypothesis at this point. In the movie it's presented as a discovery and it's likely to read as technobabble. Especially since it's accompanied by real technobabble that has no factual basis.
In a Lem-esque twist, the astronauts are never named and are identified in the credits only by their specialties. One of them is "the semiotician" (Lem would have written "the cyberneticist"). In another Lem-esque twist, this movie wants to be Solaris but isn't nearly as deep. It looks great though. A classic 1970s spaceship in glorious digital high definition.
- The White Haired Witch of Lunar Kingdom (2014). A.k.a. "The White Haired Beauty", a.k.a. too many other titles to count. A mediocre Chinese historical action movie. Little bits of it were cool, but overall not worth the running time. Probably the best thing about this movie is that its historical hook is an incident called "The Case of the Red Pills". The pills sound really gross. Oh, also there's a plot point where someone gives the order: "You must deliver these snacks." The snacks look delicious.
- How To Marry A Millionaire (1953): Pretty fun, so long as you don't expect a step-by-step guide. Apparently marrying a millionaire is a matter best left entirely to chance. Some surprising plot twists as William Powell, initially set up as a creepy old guy, turns out to be a mensch. Also a baffling sequence before the titles, where the orchestra plays the overture for, like, four minutes, and you're just watching the orchestra do its thing. I didn't come here for no Leopold Stokowski, I wanna see some dames pass the Bechdel test! We speculated this was to make the experience feel like watching a Broadway musical, but How To Marry A Millionaire isn't a musical. My current hypothesis is, that bit was just supposed to play as people were walking into the theater.
There's a fashion show in this movie, and although the outfits everyone wears for the rest of the movie still look cool and glamorous, nearly everything in the fashion show is tacky and ugly. And I gotta ask: did that stuff ever look good or is it a joke?
And now, the continuation of Television Roundup. We actually finished a show this month!
- The Legend of Korra (2012-2014): Really really fun. Creative action scenes, good humor, realistic family dynamics, cute animals, enough twists on the "Chosen One" narrative that it wasn't annoying, a big ensemble of characters who wax and wane in importance over the seasons. We had to pay attention at close to an adult level since it's assumed we watched a previous show we didn't actually watch. We had a lot of fun speculating about the worldbuilding. Highly recommended.
Random character notes that I enjoyed: Every season Korra figures out she's being manipulated a little earlier, until in the final season she's too smart for that plot twist to work at all and they have to give that job to Bolin. Bolin, whose job throughout the series is to be Phillip J. Fry. Seriously, he never makes a decision or says a line that Fry wouldn't make or say in the same situation. It could get tiresome, but Bolin gets less time after season two. And Varrick has a cool arc that reminds me of Londo from Babylon 5. Londo starts off as a buffoon, then becomes a monster and ends up a tragic figure. Varrick starts out as a buffoon, then becomes a villain and ends up a hero—but he never stops being a buffoon! Also, he's Dr. NakaMats. Great stuff.
Tue Oct 20 2015 09:03 Bot Techniques: The Wandering Monster Table:
In preparation for the talk I'm giving Friday at Allison's unofficial Bot Summit, I'm writing little essays explaining some of the techniques I've used in bots. Today: the Wandering Monster Table!
In D&D, the Wandering Monster Table is a big situation-specific table that makes it possible for you, the Dungeon Master, to derail your carefully planned campaign on a random mishap. You roll the dice and a monster just kind of shows up and has to be dealt with. There are different tables for different scenarios and different biomes, but they're generally based on this probability distribution (from AD&D 1st Edition):
- 65% of the time you will get a Common monster, like a really big rat.
- 20% of the time you will get an Uncommon monster, like a hobgoblin.
- 11% of the time you will get a Rare monster, like a neo-otyugh.
- 4% of the time you will get a Very Rare monster, like Ygorl, Lord of Entropy.
This doesn't mean you're going to run into Ygorl (Lord of Entropy) once every twenty-five adventures. There are a ton of Very Rare monsters, and Ygorl is just one chaos lord. He can't be everywhere. What this means is that most of the time the PCs are going to experience normal, boring wandering monsters. Die rolls form a normal distribution, and 68% (~65%) of die rolls will fall within one standard deviation of the mean. Those are your common monsters.
Go out two standard deviations (95%, ~65%+20%+11%) and things might get a little hairy for the PCs. Go out three standard deviations (99.7%, ~65%+20%+11%+4%) and you're looking at something really weird that even the Dungeon Master didn't really plan for. But what, exactly? That depends on the situation, and it may require another dice roll.
The WMT is a really good abstraction for creating variety. I use it in my bots all the time. Here's a sample of the WMT for Serial Entrepreneur:
common = ["%(product)s",
uncommon = [
"%(product)s... %(variant)s...? Just throwing some ideas around.",
"%(product)s... or maybe %(variant)s...",
"%(product)s or %(variant)s?",
rare = [
"I don't think I'll ever be happy with my %(product)s...",
"Got a meeting with some VCs to pitch my %(product)s!",
"I'm afraid that my new %(product)s is cannibalizing sales of my %(variant)s.",
"The %(product)s flopped in my %(state)s test market... back to the draw
very_rare = [
"Am I to be remembered as the inventor of the %(product)s?",
"Sometimes I think about Edison's famous %(product)s and I wonder... can my %(product2)s compare?",
"I haven't sold a single %(product)s...",
"I hear %(billionaire)s is working on %(a_product)s...",
This creates a personality that most of the time just mutters project ideas to itself, but sometimes (uncommonly) gets a little more verbose, or (rarely) talks about where it is in the product development process, or (very rarely) compares itself to other inventors. The 'common' bucket contains nine entries which are slight variants; the 'rare' bucket contains 32 entries which are worded very differently.
The WMT works the same way in Smooth Unicode and Euphemism Bot. All these bots have their standbys: common constructs they return to over and over. Then they have three more tiers of constructs where the result is aesthetically riskier, or the joke is less likely to land, or a little of that construct goes a long way.
I also use the WMT in A Dull Bot to a more subtle purpose. Each tweet contains a random number of typos, and each typo is chosen from a WMT. One of the common typos is to transpose two letters. A very rare typo is to uppercase one word while leaving the rest of the sentence alone.
The WMT fixes one of the common aesthetic problems with bots, where every output is randomly generated but it gets dull quickly because the presentation is always the same. Since you can always dump more stuff into a WMT, it's an easy way to keep your bot's output fresh. In particular, whenever I get an idea like emoji mosaics, I can add it to Smooth Unicode's WMT instead of creating a whole new bot.
There's a Python implementation of a Wandering Monster Table in olipy.
Fri Oct 16 2015 20:47 Auditioning: Sampling a Dataset to Maximize Diversity:
My latest bot is Roller Derby Names, which takes its data from a list of about 40,000 distinct names chosen by roller derby participants. 40,000 is a lot of names, and although a randomly selected name is likely to be hilarious, if you look at a bunch of them they can get kind of repetitive. My challenge was to cut it down to a maximally distinctive subset of names. I used a simple technique I call 'auditioning' (couldn't find a preexisting name for it) which I first used with Minecraft Signs:
- Shuffle the list.
- Create a counter of words seen
- For each string in the list:
- Split the string into words.
- Assume the string is not distinctive.
- For each word in the string:
- If this word has been seen fewer than n times, the string is distinctive.
- Increment the counter for this word.
- If the string is distinctive, output it.
My mental idea of this process is that each string is auditioning before the talent agent from the classic Chuck Jones cartoon One Froggy Evening. One word at a time, the string tries to impress the talent agent, but the agent has seen it all before. In fact, the agent has seen it all n times before! But then comes that magical word that the agent has seen only n-1 times. Huzzah! The string passes its audition. But the next string is going to have a tougher time, because with each successful audition the agent becomes more jaded.
You don't have to worry about stopwords because the string only needs one rare word to pass its audition. By varying n you can get a smaller or larger output set. For Minecraft Signs I set n=5, which gave a wide variety of signs while eliminating the ones that say "White Wool". For Roller Derby Names I decided on n=1.
Here's the size of the Roller Derby Names dataset, n-auditioned for varying values of n:
|∞ (original data)||40198|
Auditioning the Roller Derby Names with n=50 excludes only the most generic sounding names: "Crash Baby", "Bad Lady", "Queen Bitch", etc. Setting n=1 restricts the dataset to the most distinctive names, like "Battlestar Kick Asstica" and "Collideascope". But it still includes over half the dataset. There's not really a lot of difference between n=10 and n=4, it's just, how many names do you want in the corpus.
I want to note that this is this is not a technique for picking out the 'good' items. It's a technique for maximizing diversity or distinctiveness. You can say that a name excluded by a lower value of n is more distinctive, but for a given value of n it can be totally random whether or not a name makes the cut. "Angry Beaver" made it into the final corpus and "Captain Beaver" didn't. As "beaver" jokes go, I'd say they're about the same quality. When the algorithm encountered "Captain Beaver", it had already seen "captain" and "beaver". If the list had been shuffled differently, the string "Captain Beaver" would have nailed its audition and "Angry Beaver" would be a has-been. That's show biz. This technique also magnifies the frequency of misspellings, as anyone who follows Minecraft Signs knows.
Also note that "Dirty Mary" is excluded by n=50. It's not the greatest name but it is a legitimate pun, so in terms of quality it should have made the corpus, but "Dirty" and "Mary" are both very common name components, so it didn't pass.
PS: Boat Name Bot (Roller Derby Names's sister bot) does not use this technique.
There's no requirement that a boat name be unique, and TBH most boat-namers aren't terribly creative.
Picking boat names that have only been used once (and are not names for human beings) cuts the dataset down plenty.
(4) Tue Oct 13 2015 09:42:
Recently I gave a talk called "The Enterprise Media Distribution Platform At The End Of This Book". It summarizes my first eighteen months on the Library Simplified project at NYPL Labs. The goal of Library Simplified is to make it as easy to check ebooks out from a public library as it is to buy them from Amazon.
We've just secured a multi-year grant to expand the project, and we are hiring up from two developers to eight. We are quadrupling the size of our development team.
This is a really satisfying job for me because I'm making life substantially better for people who aren't already well off. If you like that prospect, if you like what I say in the "Enterprise Media Distribution" talk, and you want to work on this project, you should apply for one of these position by sending your resume to firstname.lastname@example.org.
For instance, we need someone with devops experience. We'll be dealing with e-commerce, cryptography, and machine learning—all things I know little about. We don't care if you have a CS degree, but if you have a Library Science degree or have worked in the publishing industry, that would be useful. We have big collections in Spanish, Chinese and Russian, but nobody on our team reads those languages. Stuff like that.
With that in mind, here are the job listings:
As you can see if you click around, getting into the HR system to formally "apply" for these jobs requires filling out a really long form. (Update: and now these links don't even work anymore because the jobs got shifted around.) Instead of doing that, send your resume to email@example.com and we'll only ask you to fill out the form if we want to bring you in for an interview.
All these positions are in New York City, in the big building on 42nd Street with the lions. This is a project funded by grants, and the salaries we offer are not competitive with Facebook or Goldman Sachs, but they are competitive with other nonprofits. The benefits are good. This is not a job that ruins your life. It's 35 hours a week and you get four weeks of vacation per year. I work from home about one day a week. Send me email or leave a comment if you have any questions about benefits.
(1) Sun Oct 04 2015 11:05 To Stop Disturbance:
I was reading to Sumana the most interesting bits from Washington Goes To War, a book by David Brinkley about the changes to Washington D.C. over the course of World War II. It's full of interesting historical tidbits, including:
- The attempt to notify essential personnel of the attack on Pearl Harbor, without notifying the other 27,000 people in the same football stadium watching the Washington Redskins game.
- An entirely legal scheme by which a Washington columnist and the Spanish ambassador arranged payoffs in exchange for "the columnist [writing] about previously unknown virtues he saw in Francisco Franco."
- The controversial origins of having taxes automatically deducted from your paycheck.
But the thing Sumana wanted me to record verbatim was the policy that Washington D.C.'s Casino Royal put into place for dealing with the inevitable fistfights between soldiers and sailors. "Night after night," these inter-service resentments boiled over, and so the Casino Royal wrote down these rules and posted them "on a wall backstage under the heading TO STOP DISTURBANCE."
- Lower the house lights
- Turn the spotlight on a large American flag hanging from the ceiling
- Start up an electric fan aimed at the flag, causing it to flutter
- Have the band instantly stop playing dance music and strike up "The Star-Spangled Banner".
- Call in the military police and the navy's shore patrol
It always worked. The soldiers and sailors stopped swinging at each other, faced the flag and stood at attention while the band played. There was no way a uniformed military man in wartime could refuse to do this, however angry he was. Before the anthem was finished, the military police and the shore patrol were walking up the steps from Fourteenth Street.
The one that really gets me is #3. I can see how this behavior would be drilled into you as a reflex action, but #3 makes it feel like they're trying to inspire you, remind you what you're fightin' for. And then the MPs show up.
Thu Oct 01 2015 09:05 September Film Roundup:
Didn't see a lot of movies this month, so I'm going to add a new mini-feature that will run for the next few months. I'll be briefly reviewing some TV shows that, although I haven't seen (and may never see) absolutely every episode, I feel like I can evaluate the show as a whole. But first, our feature presentations:
- Rififi (1955) a.k.a. "Du rififi chez les hommes", a.k.a. "Rough Stuff" (my translation). Where's the dividing line between French New Wave films inspired by American noir, and just plain French noir? I don't know. This is definitely on the 'just plain French noir' side, but everything in this movie—the misogyny, the stylishness, the despair—is just a more extreme version of what you get from Truffaut. Not recommended overall but the half-hour silent heist scene is black-and-white gold, everything that was promised.
- Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009): The first Wes Anderson film I've enjoyed rather than admired. Everything is so cute and twee but with a little edge, so the style is a perfect match. If I've read the book it was in grade school, so I don't know who gets the credit for this idea, but I love how, despite being totally anthropomorphized, the stop-motion animals are animals. Really cool seeing Mr. Fox get into a hissing match with his lawyer, casually killing chickens, etc. Also love how 'cuss' is used as an all-purpose swear word.
- Kumaré (2001): Saw with Sumana and mother-in-law. Not really happy with the way this ended. It's common for the creator of a documentary about pulling a con job to start to feel remorse for their marks about halfway through the documentary. And this does happen to Vikram Gandhi in Kumaré, but when it's time to come clean he doesn't show the remorse. He retcons his con job as "Yes, I misled you and lied to you, but it was all in the service of a larger spiritual goal!"
Gandhi has a degree in religious studies so he should know this is Religious Huckster Trick #2. And of course it works. He pulls it off! But he's still operating the con.
- Desperately Seeking Susan (1985): This was on the list of great films by female directors (see previous post), and it was showing at the museum, so we caught the next train posthaste! (Actually we walked.) It's a fun movie that's very much a time capsule, not just because of the New York and the fashions and the yuppie coffee tables and the Madonna but because not one single element of this plot can coexist with cell phones or the Internet.
Well, one element can—hyperspecific amnesia caused by otherwise harmless head trauma—but that's just ridiculous, so I'm not counting it. No, you know what, even that can't survive cell phones. "I forgot who I am... good thing I'm still logged into Facebook."
You just know I'll like this movie because there's a very strong Celine and Julie go Boating vibe, not just in the magic show but in the way Roberta just picks up Susan's identity and tries it on for a while. Really fun.
And now the TV section. Obviously my technique of waiting until I can evaluate the show as a whole, creates a selection bias towards good television shows. I'll sit through a bad movie and then pan it in Film Roundup, but a bad TV show is outa here, especially since I watch movies on my own but I only watch TV with Sumana. But what's the problem with talking about good TV? Try this on for size:
- The Dick Van Dyke Show (1951-1966) - Or as I just typed into IMDB, "The Dick Van." I remember reading an essay that explained that Leave it to Beaver was a groundbreaking show because it showed post-WWII parents trying to figure out how to raise children without the corporal-punishment-centric style their parents used on them. But phooey on that, because Leave it to Beaver is not funny. The Dick Van Dyke Show shows a postwar couple trying to figure out how to be good parents and partners, and it's really really funny. It's got workplace comedy, metahumor, tastefully wacky neighbors, everything good you'd want from a sitcom. Rob and Laura will have a disagreement that turns into an argument and then a reconciliation, it will be realistic and funny, and they'll shoot it all in one long take. It's so good. Sometimes they tire of the normal fare and do a sitcom version of The Twilight Zone instead.
Best moment: Buddy, one of Rob's co-workers, is always making these awful jokes about his shrewish wife Pickles. And then in one episode all the co-workers have a night out on the town. Buddy brings Pickles along, and she's great! She's a Broadway chorus girl, she's the life of the party, she and Buddy are perfect for each other, totally in love, and you realize, of course! Why would Buddy marry someone who'd make him miserable? He's just an asshole who adopts this Borscht Belt persona at work. The show doesn't go out of its way to point out any of this; it just quietly develops the characters in ways that reward paying attention.
(Before you ask, Religious Huckster Trick #1 is "God told me to tell you to give me money.")
(4) Wed Sep 30 2015 21:50 Top 100 Films From Women Directors:
Sumana is tired of dude movies, so I went through this list of 100 great movies by female directors and noted the ones that a) I think Sumana would like (no Pet Sematary) and b) I am willing to watch (no Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles, a film Sumana really likes but just thinking about it makes me fall asleep. I'm asleep right now!) There were about twenty-five such movies.
The above-linked list is very quirky, and although the idiosyncracies generally work in the reader's favor (gotta figure out a way to see Jodie Mack's Dusty Stacks of Mom (2013)), it left rhetorical space for men to come into the comments section and say HOW could you OVERLOOK this GROUNDBREAKING film, [potentially useful recommendation], for you see, I know a LOT about FILM. Which I must admit would have happened anyway.
I don't know a lot about film, but I do know how to run SQL queries against IMDB data, so I thought I would make an intersubjective list of the top 100 films directed by women, judged by their IMDB ratings. In general I copied the implicit rules of the hand-picked list. Only feature-length films are here. No documentaries, no concert footage. (There is one comedy special in here, but whatever.)
As usual, films with fewer than 150 votes on IMDB were not considered. Also as usual, there are no links because the IMDB dataset is far too ancient for such things. I did some spot checks and kicked a couple movies off the list for obvious astroturfing. I don't believe one of the movies on this list is real, but I left it on the list because it's so weird.
Here's the list:
|1. The Matrix (1999)||Wachowski, Lana||8.7||Action, Sci-Fi|
|2. Cidade de Deus (2002)||Lund, Kátia||8.7||Drama, Crime|
|3. Voskhozhdenie (1977)||Shepitko, Larisa||8.3||Drama, War|
|4. Drushyam (2014)||Sripriya||8.3||Drama, Thriller, Family|
|5. Moe no suzaku (1997)||Kawase, Naomi||8.2||Drama|
|6. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (2011)||Akhtar, Zoya||8.1||Drama, Romance, Comedy, Adventure, Family|
|7. Salaam Bombay! (1988)||Nair, Mira||8.1||Drama, Crime|
|8. Mr. and Mrs. Iyer (2002)||Sen, Aparna||8.0||Drama|
|9. Le roman de Renard (1930)||Starewicz, Irene||8.0||Comedy, Fantasy, Animation, Family|
|10. Slumdog Millionaire (2008)||Tandan, Loveleen||8.0||Drama, Romance|
|11. Persepolis (2007)||Satrapi, Marjane||8.0||Drama, Animation, War, Biography|
|12. Chelovek s bulvara Kaputsinov (1987)||Surikova, Alla||8.0||Romance, Comedy, Musical, Western|
|13. Zero Motivation (2014)||Lavie, Talya||7.9||Drama, Comedy|
|14. Chou tin dik tong wah (1987)||Cheung, Mabel||7.9||Drama, Romance|
|15. Out 1, noli me tangere (1971)||Schiffman, Suzanne||7.9||Drama|
|16. Tau ban no hoi (1982)||Hui, Ann||7.9||Drama|
|17. Gett (2014)||Elkabetz, Ronit||7.9||Drama|
|18. Sharasôju (2003)||Kawase, Naomi||7.9||Drama|
|19. Gangoobai (2013)||Krishnaswamy, Priya||7.9||Drama, Family|
|20. Patrice O'Neal: Elephant in the Room (2011)||McCarthy-Miller, Beth||7.9||Comedy|
|21. Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975)||Akerman, Chantal||7.9||Drama|
|22. Little Miss Sunshine (2006)||Faris, Valerie||7.9||Drama, Comedy, Adventure|
|23. English Vinglish (2012)||Shinde, Gauri||7.9||Drama, Comedy, Family|
|24. Shrek (2001)||Jenson, Vicky||7.9||Comedy, Fantasy, Animation, Adventure, Family|
|25. La distancia más larga (2013)||Pinto, Claudia||7.9||Drama|
|26. Pasqualino Settebellezze (1975)||Wertmüller, Lina||7.9||Drama, Comedy, War|
|27. Dönüs (1972)||Soray, Türkan||7.8||Drama, Romance|
|28. Strangers in Good Company (1990)||Scott, Cynthia||7.8||Drama|
|29. Awakenings (1990)||Marshall, Penny||7.8||Drama, Biography|
|30. Dolgie provody (1971)||Muratova, Kira||7.8||Drama|
|31. Ne dao Bog veceg zla (2002)||Tribuson, Snjezana||7.8||Romance|
|32. Tong nien wang shi (1985)||Yang, Li-Yin||7.8||Drama, Biography|
|33. Dedictví aneb Kurvahosigutntag (1993)||Chytilová, Vera||7.8||Comedy|
|34. Cheshmane John Malkovich 1: Viggo Mortensen (2004)||Solati, Sara||7.8||Drama, Fantasy, Horror, Mystery|
|35. Earth (1998)||Mehta, Deepa||7.8||Drama, Romance, War|
|36. Nu ren si shi (1995)||Hui, Ann||7.8||Drama, Comedy|
|37. Lost in Translation (2003)||Coppola, Sofia||7.8||Drama|
|38. Efter brylluppet (2006)||Bier, Susanne||7.8||Drama|
|39. Water (2005)||Mehta, Deepa||7.8||Drama, Romance|
|40. Die Abenteuer des Prinzen Achmed (1926)||Reiniger, Lotte||7.8||Romance, Fantasy, Animation, Adventure|
|41. Rocks in My Pockets (2014)||Baumane, Signe||7.7||Comedy, Drama, Animation|
|42. Kirschblüten - Hanami (2008)||Dörrie, Doris||7.7||Drama, Romance|
|43. Selma (2014)||DuVernay, Ava||7.7||Drama, Biography, History|
|44. Nirgendwo in Afrika (2001)||Link, Caroline||7.7||Drama, Biography|
|45. Hævnen (2010)||Bier, Susanne||7.7||Drama|
|46. S tebou me baví svet (1983)||Polednáková, Marie||7.7||Comedy, Family|
|47. Nastroyshchik (2004)||Muratova, Kira||7.7||Drama, Comedy, Crime|
|48. Die Höhle des gelben Hundes (2005)||Davaa, Byambasuren||7.7||Drama|
|49. Sita Sings the Blues (2008)||Paley, Nina||7.7||Comedy, Fantasy, Romance, Animation, Musical|
|50. Sans toit ni loi (1985)||Varda, Agnès||7.7||Drama|
|51. Olivier, Olivier (1992)||Holland, Agnieszka||7.7||Drama|
|52. Little Fugitive (1953)||Orkin, Ruth||7.7||Drama, Family|
|53. Film d'amore e d'anarchia, ovvero 'stamattina alle 10 in via dei Fiori nella nota casa di tolleranza...' (1973)||Wertmüller, Lina||7.7||Drama, Romance, Comedy|
|54. Le bonheur (1965)||Varda, Agnès||7.7||Drama|
|55. Krylya (1966)||Shepitko, Larisa||7.7||Drama|
|56. Jibeuro Ganeun Gil (2013)||Pang, Eun-jin||7.7||Drama|
|57. Whale Rider (2002)||Caro, Niki||7.7||Drama, Family|
|58. Frozen (2013)||Lee, Jennifer||7.7||Family, Fantasy, Animation, Adventure, Comedy, Musical|
|59. Europa Europa (1990)||Holland, Agnieszka||7.7||Drama, War, History|
|60. Elsker dig for evigt (2002)||Bier, Susanne||7.7||Drama, Romance|
|61. Die Fremde (2010)||Aladag, Feo||7.6||Drama|
|62. Away from Her (2006)||Polley, Sarah||7.6||Drama|
|63. Saving Face (2004)||Wu, Alice||7.6||Drama, Romance, Comedy|
|64. Tou ze (2011)||Hui, Ann||7.6||Drama|
|65. En chance til (2014)||Bier, Susanne||7.6||Drama, Thriller|
|66. Wadjda (2012)||Al-Mansour, Haifaa||7.6||Drama, Comedy|
|67. My Life Without Me (2003)||Coixet, Isabel||7.6||Drama, Romance|
|68. Neposlusni (2014)||Djukic, Mina||7.6||Drama|
|69. 36 Chowringhee Lane (1981)||Sen, Aparna||7.6||Drama, Romance|
|70. Depuis qu'Otar est parti... (2003)||Bertuccelli, Julie||7.6||Drama|
|71. The Hurt Locker (2008)||Bigelow, Kathryn||7.6||Drama, War, Thriller|
|72. American Psycho (2000)||Harron, Mary||7.6||Drama, Crime|
|73. The Secret Life of Words (2005)||Coixet, Isabel||7.6||Drama, Romance|
|74. Brødre (2004)||Bier, Susanne||7.6||Drama, War|
|75. Yeo-haeng-ja (2009)||Lecomte, Ounie||7.6||Drama|
|76. Ting shuo (2009)||Cheng, Fen-fen||7.6||Drama, Romance|
|77. I Am Sam (2001)||Nelson, Jessie||7.6||Drama|
|78. The Namesake (2006)||Nair, Mira||7.6||Drama|
|79. Boys Don't Cry (1999)||Peirce, Kimberly||7.6||Drama, Biography|
|80. Büyük adam küçük ask (2001)||Ipekçi, Handan||7.6||Drama|
|81. Hanezu no tsuki (2011)||Kawase, Naomi||7.6||Drama|
|82. Pora umierac (2007)||Kedzierzawska, Dorota||7.6||Drama|
|83. La faute à Fidel! (2006)||Gavras, Julie||7.6||Drama, History|
|84. Kazoku no kuni (2012)||Yang, Yong-hi||7.5||Drama|
|85. Zir-e poost-e shahr (2001)||Bani-Etemad, Rakhshan||7.5||Drama|
|86. Proof (1991)||Moorhouse, Jocelyn||7.5||Drama|
|87. Ramchand Pakistani (2008)||Jabbar, Mehreen||7.5||Drama|
|88. Te doy mis ojos (2003)||Bollaín, Icíar||7.5||Drama, Romance|
|89. Nanayomachi (2008)||Kawase, Naomi||7.5||Drama|
|90. La misma luna (2007)||Riggen, Patricia||7.5||Drama|
|91. Travolti da un insolito destino nell'azzurro mare d'agosto (1974)||Wertmüller, Lina||7.5||Drama, Comedy, Adventure|
|92. Samt el qusur (1994)||Tlatli, Moufida||7.5||Drama|
|93. Et maintenant on va où? (2011)||Labaki, Nadine||7.5||Drama, Comedy|
|94. The Japanese Wife (2010)||Sen, Aparna||7.5||Drama, Romance|
|95. An Angel at My Table (1990)||Campion, Jane||7.5||Drama, Biography|
|96. Antonia (1995)||Gorris, Marleen||7.5||Drama, Comedy|
|97. Hooligans (2005)||Alexander, Lexi||7.5||Drama, Sport, Crime|
|98. Trolösa (2000)||Ullmann, Liv||7.5||Drama, Romance|
|99. A New Leaf (1971)||May, Elaine||7.5||Romance, Comedy|
|100. We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)||Ramsay, Lynne||7.5||Drama, Thriller|
|101. Ke tu qiu hen (1990)||Hui, Ann||7.5||Drama|
|102. Mita Tova (2014)||Granit, Tal||7.5||Drama|
|103. Ratcatcher (1999)||Ramsay, Lynne||7.5||Drama|
|104. ...ing (2003)||Lee, Eon-hie||7.5||Romance|
|105. Tin shui wai dik yat yu ye (2008)||Hui, Ann||7.5||Drama|
|106. American Splendor (2003)||Berman, Shari Springer||7.5||Drama, Comedy, Biography|
|107. Tian yu (1998)||Chen, Joan||7.5||Drama|
|108. Cloud Atlas (2012)||Wachowski, Lana||7.5||Drama, Sci-Fi|
|109. Jestem (2005)||Kedzierzawska, Dorota||7.5||Drama|
|110. Korotkie vstrechi (1968)||Muratova, Kira||7.5||Drama, Romance|
|111. Dogfight (1991)||Savoca, Nancy||7.5||Drama, Romance, War|
|112. Across the Universe (2007)||Taymor, Julie||7.5||Drama, Fantasy, Romance, Musical|
|113. Sedmikrásky (1966)||Chytilová, Vera||7.5||Drama, Comedy|
There are 113 movies in this list because IMDB ratings only have 0.1 star precision. If you're a woman and you direct a movie that gets a 7.5, congrats, you're tied for 84th place.
Susanne Bier and Ann Hui each have five films on the list. Naomi Kawase has four. Some of the directors share the credit with a man, notably Lana Wachowski and Suzanne Schiffman. Barring any titles I don't recognize because they're not in English, the only films on this list I've seen are Sita Sings the Blues, Whale Rider, Frozen and A New Leaf. My personal favorites, among movies I know were directed by women, are A New Leaf and Wayne's World.
Finally, here's the base query I used to get the info I needed out of the database. I used the same database I built for Ghostbusters Past.
select distinct(title.id), title.title, title.production_year, rating.info, votes.info, movie_info.info, kind_id, name.name, name.gender from title join cast_info on title.id=cast_info.movie_id join name on cast_info.person_id=name.id join movie_info_idx as rating on rating.movie_id=title.id join movie_info_idx as votes on votes.movie_id=title.id join movie_info on movie_info.movie_id=title.id where cast_info.role_id=8 and kind_id=1 and movie_info.info_type_id=3 and rating.info_type_id=101 and votes.info_type_id=100 and name.gender='f';
Update: The pedantry continues with Darius Kazemi telling me that Loveleen Tandan was the casting director on Slumdog Millionare, not the director who yelled "cut!" and "action!" and "it's a wrap!". If IMDB says
role_id=8, that's good enough for me, but YMMV.
Update #2: danima asked about English-language films. I don't think IMDB tracks the primary language of a film, just whether a language is used in the film. So I can filter on "English", but I'll still pick up films that are primarily in French or Hindi, so long as there is some English dialogue.
Our story begins right after Across the Universe, where the previous list leaves off. Basically if your film is in English you only need to get a 7.4 or 7.3 (still several standard deviations above the median) to get in the top 100. I have not vetted this list for astroturf:
|57. Pismo do Amerika (2001)||Triffonova, Iglika||7.4||Drama|
|58. Bastard Out of Carolina (1996)||Huston, Anjelica||7.4||Drama|
|59. Frida (2002)||Taymor, Julie||7.4||Drama, Romance, Biography|
|60. Chance (2002)||Benson, Amber||7.4||Drama, Comedy|
|61. Kaméleon (2008)||Goda, Krisztina||7.4||Drama, Comedy, Thriller|
|62. Paris, je t'aime (2006)||Chadha, Gurinder||7.4||Drama, Romance, Comedy|
|63. Le fils de l'autre (2012)||Lévy, Lorraine||7.4||Drama|
|64. Lifted (2010)||Alexander, Lexi||7.4||Drama|
|65. Belle (2013)||Asante, Amma||7.4||Drama|
|66. Desert Flower (2009)||Hormann, Sherry||7.4||Drama, Biography|
|67. Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)||July, Miranda||7.4||Drama, Comedy|
|68. On Dangerous Ground (1951)||Lupino, Ida||7.4||Drama, Romance, Thriller, Film-Noir, Crime|
|69. Paris, je t'aime (2006)||Coixet, Isabel||7.4||Drama, Romance, Comedy|
|70. Bound (1996)||Wachowski, Lana||7.4||Drama, Thriller, Crime|
|71. Zero Dark Thirty (2012)||Bigelow, Kathryn||7.4||Drama, Thriller, History|
|72. También la lluvia (2010)||Bollaín, Icíar||7.4||Drama, History|
|73. Monsoon Wedding (2001)||Nair, Mira||7.4||Drama, Romance, Comedy|
|74. Mimì metallurgico ferito nell'onore (1972)||Wertmüller, Lina||7.4||Comedy|
|75. Hollow Reed (1996)||Pope, Angela||7.4||Drama|
|76. The Trouble with Angels (1966)||Lupino, Ida||7.4||Comedy|
|77. The Selfish Giant (2013)||Barnard, Clio||7.4||Drama|
|78. Mikey and Nicky (1976)||May, Elaine||7.4||Drama|
|79. José Rizal (1998)||Diaz-Abaya, Marilou||7.3||Drama, War, Biography, History|
|80. Titus (1999)||Taymor, Julie||7.3||Drama, Thriller, History|
|81. Sepet (2004)||Ahmad, Yasmin||7.3||Drama, Romance, Comedy|
|82. Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)||Yuh, Jennifer||7.3||Family, Drama, Animation, Adventure, Action, Comedy|
|83. Put oko sveta (1964)||Jovanovic, Soja||7.3||Comedy, Adventure, Western|
|84. Fish Tank (2009)||Arnold, Andrea||7.3||Drama|
|85. Infinitely Polar Bear (2014)||Forbes, Maya||7.3||Drama, Comedy|
|86. An Education (2009)||Scherfig, Lone||7.3||Drama|
|87. The Black Balloon (2008)||Down, Elissa||7.3||Drama, Romance|
|88. North Country (2005)||Caro, Niki||7.3||Drama|
|89. Thousand Pieces of Gold (1991)||Kelly, Nancy||7.3||Romance, Western|
|90. Funny Valentines (1999)||Dash, Julie||7.3||Drama|
|91. The Secret Life of Bees (2008)||Prince-Bythewood, Gina||7.3||Drama|
|92. Stander (2003)||Hughes, Bronwen||7.3||Action, Drama, Biography, Crime|
|93. Shao nu xiao yu (1995)||Chang, Sylvia||7.3||Drama|
|94. The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio (2005)||Anderson, Jane||7.3||Drama, Biography|
|95. Craig's Wife (1936)||Arzner, Dorothy||7.3||Drama|
|96. Firaaq (2008)||Das, Nandita||7.3||Drama, History|
|97. Blood and Sand (1922)||Arzner, Dorothy||7.3||Drama, Romance, Sport|
|98. My Brilliant Career (1979)||Armstrong, Gillian||7.3||Drama, Romance, Biography|
|99. Eve's Bayou (1997)||Lemmons, Kasi||7.3||Drama|
|100. The Name Is Rogells (Rugg-ells) (2011)||Warner, Rachel||7.3||Romance, Adventure|
|101. The Voices (2014)||Satrapi, Marjane||7.3||Comedy, Thriller, Crime|
|102. The Woodsman (2004)||Kassell, Nicole||7.3||Drama|
|103. Talaash (2012)||Kagti, Reema||7.3||Drama, Mystery, Thriller, Crime|
|104. My First Mister (2001)||Lahti, Christine||7.3||Drama, Romance, Comedy|
|105. Big (1988)||Marshall, Penny||7.3||Drama, Fantasy, Romance, Comedy|
|106. Monster (2003)||Jenkins, Patty||7.3||Drama, Biography, Crime|
|107. The Secret Garden (1993)||Holland, Agnieszka||7.3||Drama, Fantasy, Family|
|108. Little Women (1994)||Armstrong, Gillian||7.3||Drama, Romance|
|109. Fire (1996)||Mehta, Deepa||7.3||Drama, Romance|
|110. The Connection (1962)||Clarke, Shirley||7.3||Drama|
Sat Sep 05 2015 16:52 August Film Roundup:
I think this month is about as close as Film Roundup has gotten to a random sample of movies. The museum did a series based on the 70mm film format, so we got three movies that have nothing in common except a decision to put really big film in the camera. Overall pretty happy with this month's crop though.
- Stagecoach (1939): I always come into these hyper-classics expecting to be disappointed, but Stagecoach totally delivered. It's a movie full of memorable character actors and easy-to-get jokes. Its plot structure is very unusual for a western. I found it a cut above much "deeper" westerns like Red River. Recommended.
- The Sun Shines Bright (1953): John Ford's second attempt at Judge Priest, the film I walked out of in July. I saw this one with Camille, so I was committed. Still has Stepin Fetchit doing his bit but generally achieves 1950s-liberal levels of anti-racism. I upgrade this version to "watchable." There's a scene where a lynch mob pours into town, and you see reaction shots from all the black characters, and it's filmed like the scene in a western where the bad guy walks down main street and the shopkeepers hurriedly close up shop. Also a very effective moment of cringe comedy at the beginning, like the striptease in Cotton Comes to Harlem. Plenty of good stuff interspersed between the never-explained scandals and the tepid romance between [Female Lead] and [We Can't Give An Old Guy Top Billing! Get Me a Zeppo Marx type!]
Between this and Stagecoach I wasn't expecting how pro-sex-worker John Ford is. ("So was Jesus."—Camille) This is the one that really hammers the point home, though. So cheesy and heartfelt and effective. Not believable, but effective. People marching with a banner saying "He Saved Us From Ourselves"—the ultimate liberal fantasy!
- Brainstorm (1983): I was really impressed by Brainstorm's portrayal of a Research Triangle tech company and the weirdos who work there. It doesn't hurt that Christopher Walken and Louise Fletcher play the weirdos. Some really clever twists, by which I mean ideas you might see in print SF in 1983, instead of film being twenty years behind like usual. It becomes kind of goofy at the end, but it's a Douglas Trumbull movie, you're gonna get some goofiness. A pleasant surprise.
- Victor/Victoria (1982): I cut this movie a lot of slack while I was watching it because I seriously thought it was made in, like, 1965. It's a mashup of a bunch of mid-1960s movie plots, and I'm still at a loss to explain how young Julie Andrews looks in this movie. Maybe a mosquito bit her just as The Sound of Music wrapped, the mosquito was preserved in amber, and a clone of the beloved actress was created from the blood in the mosquito's stomach. I assure you, it's quite possible. German scientists brought to the United States by Operation Paperclip had been researching... but you're not here for the science lesson.
I don't know about the politics of this movie, I guess it's pretty good for 1982. Overall it's kind of a mess in my mind. It's worth watching just to see Robert Preston (who has aged a normal amount) be a huge ham. There were a lot of funny moments but also a lot of duds, like the... bumbling private detective? What, did Blake Edwards direct this? Oh, he did? Well, he should know better.
PS: In an act of sheer cowardice, a "nobody's perfect"-style line was cut from the romantic lead's part, leaving him nearly as Zeppo-ish as the dude in The Sun Shines Bright.
- It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963): I'd never seen the prequels (It's a World (1956), It's a Mad World (1958), It's a Mad Mad World (1959), etc.) but it's pretty easy to follow. Also easy to see why this is where the franchise ran out of steam. Not recommended, especially since The Great Race (1965) fixes every problem with this movie:
- Less sexist
- Better characters
- Better jokes
- Better slapstick
- More Peter Falk
So watch The Great Race instead. It's one of my favorite movies and maybe the best thing about It's a (Mad )* World is that it ensured The Great Race would be greenlit.
- Baahubali: The Beginning (2015): Saw it again with the in-laws. My verdict is the same as before. One funny thing I forgot: there's a guy who's got all his lackeys together to carry out a coup, and as he explains why pulling a coup is the right thing to do, ethically speaking, all his lackeys intone in unison: "The right decision." It's funny the same way "The greater good." is funny in Hot Fuzz. I asked my brother-in-law if that was a translation error and he said no, that's pretty much what they say in the Telugu original.
In our collection of Amar Chitra Katha we found a comic called "Bahubali", and although it shares some similarities to the movie it's not the same story. The comic is notable for having a conflict between two brothers which could lead to war, but is instead resolved by contests of brotherly roughhousing: backyard wrestling, splashing water at each other, and so on.
- The Master (2012): I guess it was inevitable that some big-shot Hollywood auteur would take it into his head to make a prequel to Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), answering all the questions no one cared to ask, like: why is Torgo's posture so poor? How did he and the Master meet? And why does the Master keep all his wives under hypnosis? Creating such an elaborate backstory to something so silly is, well, silly, but it's also something I would do, so I'll give it a pass.
The performances in this are great, but it's ultimately another in Paul Thomas Anderson's explorations of horrible men being horrible, so... I'd stick with There Will Be Blood. At least there's blood in that one.
(2) Sat Aug 01 2015 09:57 July Film Roundup:
Sumana was gone for most of the month, and I discovered how easy it is to get to Film Forum from the library to see a movie after work. And when Sumana was around we saw a bunch of movies together, and the upshot is that I've now seen every movie ever made and there are no more movies. Here's just a sampling of the films I saw in July.
- Young Mr. Lincoln (1939): Very hagiographic about Lincoln personally but unsparing about everything surrounding Lincoln, especially antebellum American society and politics. One of the lesser John Ford films I
saw finished this month, if only because the competition's so stiff. In particular, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance does all the political stuff much better. Not bad though.
- The Grapes of Wrath (1940): Really good and super liberal. None of the "this is all in the past, you can relax now" we saw with Border Incident. Even the unbelievable ending, tacked on by the producer to forestall a socialist revolution, is downright pinko by today's degraded standards. I'd like to give special attention to John Carradine, who turns in a really good performance as a man of God who's lost his connection.
- Judge Priest (1934): I walked out of this movie after ten minutes because of the super-racist comedy. If this was a Serious Film I would deal with the racism, but this was supposed to be my lighthearted Grapes of Wrath chaser, so screw this movie. Also, is this guy a judge or a priest? Make up your mind! Negative one-and-a-half stars.
- Inside Out (2015): I love movies that posit weird theories of consciousness, and this one kinda mashes up Multiple Drafts with traditional theater-of-the-mind. Great stuff. It's a kids movie that's more mature than most movies for adults: not only is there no villain, the protagonists are also the antagonists. You could sit around and analyze the world of this movie for hours (I've done it; it's fun), but then there's this bit of IMDB trivia, which undermines most of the speculation you might do:
When asked about the genders of the emotions, Pete Docter said, "It was intuitive. It felt to me like Anger's very masculine, I don't know why... with Mom and Dad, we skewed them all male and all female for a quick read, because you have to understand where we are, which is a little phony but hopefully people don't mind!"
I try hard not to mind, I know this stuff is difficult, but if you're making decisions you consider phony for the sake of a quick read, I don't think you're creating something that can accommodate a nerd's analysis.
- Magic Mike XXL (2015): The bros started out a little bro-y for my tastes but over time their characters got more defined and it turned into a decent road trip/small business movie. I wouldn't watch it on the big screen unless you've got a taste for beefcake.
I don't really have more to say about the movie but I would like to critique some of the striptease routines. Near the beginning of the movie they're planning all these cheesy soldier/fireman routines, and thankfully they move in a different direction but that makes me think the first Magic Mike must be unbearable, with Matthew McConaughey MCing these guys in Village People outfits. I liked the routines that had an improv element, like Donald Glover's rap or the Kevin Nash painting routine.
Oh, also, Kevin Nash looks so much like Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler (2008) that for the whole movie I thought it was Mickey Rourke, that he'd beefed up for The Wrestler and really liked being that buff and that's his look now. But I guess it's just a common look. I'm not great at this movie-watching stuff.
- Invention For Destruction (1958): a.k.a. "The Fabulous World of Jules Verne", a.k.a. "Vynález zkázy". An utterly Gilliam-tastic film, both in the animation style (a direct inspiration for Gilliam's Monty Python stuff) and in the single overarching aesthetic which requires that every piece of every elaborate set be custom built. Here's Pauline Kael from 1991:
Zeman employs almost every conceivable trick, combining live action, animation, puppets, and painted sets that are a triumph of sophisticated primitivism. The variety of tricks and superimpositions seems infinite; as soon as you have one effect figured out another image comes on to baffle you.
It's so fun to watch. The plot is terrible, but I don't care. It was a decent plot when Jules Verne came up with it in 1898. Recommended. I feel like this incredible movie is gonna get lost in this huge list because I don't have much to say about this except "it looks really cool", but it looks really cool.
- Wagon Master (1950): It's rare to see cinematic depictions of Mormons, and although the Mormons in Wagon Master are mostly played like generic movie puritans, there are two big exceptions. First, Ward Bond, who is extraordinarily likable as the tough, self-deprecating Elder Wiggs. Second, the dances. Generic movie puritans would frown at dancing (and everything else), but these Saints have serious happy feet. Still not a lot of Mormon-specific content, but a fun comedic western.
I have one major complaint: as the tension ratchets up in the third act, our two Gentile protagonists plot together to form a genius plan, but the "plan" is the same as in every other western: get the drop on the bad guys and shoot 'em. Doing a full planning scene for that just got my hopes up.
- The Third Man (1949): I believe viewer enjoyment of this movie is highly dominated by not knowing its twist. Unfortunately, even if you don't know the twist going in it's pretty easy to figure it out, and even telling you why this is the case is enough to trigger figuring-it-out, so it's a tricky situation but rather than bemoan "the culture of spoilers" I posit that The Third Man is a fragile movie. Any other movie on this month's list you could have told me how it ends and I'd have enjoyed it just as much (or as little). But you live by the twist, you die by the twist.
It's not ruined if you know the twist. This is a classic that people watch over and over, and I had a good time even though I went in knowing the twist. The movie looks great. But despite my general pro-spoiler stance I'm not comfortable talking about my major problem with this movie, or even minor stuff like the pacing, because I'm held hostage by this damn twist. I guess that it's own kind of accomplishment.
- The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962): Not really fair to call this a 'deconstruction' of the western, but it's definitely John Ford being tired of making these movies and reevaluating exactly what message he's been sending for the past twenty years. In doing so he creates a much more complex story than usual and goes to some uncomfortable places. Great stuff.
Just when you think you can finally get through an old movie without seeing John Carradine, guess who shows up? No, guess again. John Carradine, you fool! He was the Christopher Lee of his day, or maybe the Nicolas Cage.
Amazing trivia! Woody Strode, the Dr. Phlox-esque coroner on Psych, is named after the actor who played Pompey in this movie. He was in some other Ford films as well as Spartacus. It's just about the weirdest character naming tribute possible, but there it is.
- The Fifth Element (1997): I was really down on this movie after seeing it because the sci-fi aspects, although beautiful, are entirely superficial. It's cool to see everyday life in the equivalent of the Federation, something that Star Trek never shows you, but it turns out it's very similar to everyday life in 1997 New York. A couple search-and-replace operations on the screenplay, and this whole movie takes place in 1997.
But then Sumana (who saw The Fifth Element a long time ago), pointed out that Luc Bresson directs action movies, not science fiction. If you're going to direct a by-the-numbers action movie, why not throw in an ancient prophecy and some really cool eyeball kicks and make it sci-fi? Otherwise no one will remember your generic action movie fifteen years later. Your only other hope is to write Laim Neeson's "special set of skills" monologue from Taken (2008)—Bresson also did that movie, so he's playing all the angles.
- Court (2014): The most realistic Indian movie I've ever seen. There are musical numbers, but they're all where you would expect to find musical numbers in real life. I didn't mind the slow pace, but it's not as funny as I'd been led to believe. I don't think it's funny at all unless you're unfamiliar with Indian culture and you turn the culture shock into nervous laughter.
Sumana did not see the movie, and I don't think she'd like it, but I narrated it to her afterwards and she made two really good points. First, this is a movie like To Kill A Mockingbird (1962) or Gentleman's Agreement (1935) whose goal is to get the audience to sympathize with an oppressed group, but the protagonist is not from that group. He's an outsider, a lawyer or journalist, played by Gregory Peck.
Second, Sumana explained the ending, which I found totally mysterious. The judge goes on his summer vacation and you see that even outside the courtroom he's passing judgement on people based on ridiculous, outdated precedents. That's who he is. Makes sense.
- Upstream (1927): Upstream Color? More like Upstream Black And White, amirite? This recently rediscovered John Ford film is full of light silliness. It's also got Sammy Cohen, a vaudeville-style actor who would have a lot of stereotypical "Jewish buddy" roles, including Ike Ginsberg, one of the cougar-hunting frat boys in The Cradle Snatchers (1928, previously on Film Roundup). In this film he's in his element as half of vaudeville duo Callahan and Callahan. That's the kind of movie we're talking about.
But the title's off. Upstream sounds kind of ominous. Like, well, Upstream Color. Our talented accompanists did what they could, composing a theme song for the movie that tries to make it make sense:
Broadway life is feast or famine
But if you're like the little salmon
You'll keep on swimmin' up-streeeeeam!
But here's the scoop, from the National Film Preservation Society:
The reason for the film being titled Upstream is no clearer after viewing it... According to Charles G. Clarke the film was known during production as The Public Idol: "The change in title was the result of a curious system that then prevailed. In those days, a film company sold a program of features to the theater owners for a year ahead…. In this case, a film called Upstream was scheduled to be made starring Dolores Del Rio, but for some reason it was not put into production. To make up for the deficiency, the Fox Film Company simply changed the name of The Public Idol to Upstream."
May curious systems always prevail.
- Ant-Man (2015): There was a lot of Edgar Wright in this, but not nearly enough. The thorax of this movie was a generic superhero movie, and it ain't no accident that this is the first superhero movie to show up in Film Roundup. I don't like 'em and I don't watch 'em. I do like the stories of ordinary losers on the periphery of a superpowered universe (the head of this movie), and I like ridiculous parodies of superhero movies (the abdomen). That's why I saw Ant-Man, and it delivered, just not all the way through.
I should make it clear that there are a ton of CGI ants in this movie, it's not just a metaphor for a guy being really small, so if ants squick you out, give it a pass. I didn't mind. It did make me wonder if doing mo-cap on ants counts as "animal action" for purposes of ASCPA monitoring.
No idea what was going on in the after-credits scene. Also not really clear on the difference between SHIELD and HYDRA. I was totally on board with Hank Pym's refusal to give shrinking technology to the military-industrial complex. Right on, fight the power, Tony Stark is a fascist. No need to explain anything more. But all the MCU movies have to share a common ideology, so Ant-Man then took pains to explain that the villain was working with HYDRA (bad), not SHIELD (good). It's well established that I won't do the homework to sort this stuff out, so it doesn't matter.
Bonus: Here are the three superhero movies I would love to see:
- Ambush Bug
- She-Hulk (probably better as a Netflix series)
- Squirrel Girl
You'd think I'd be excited for the forthcoming Deadpool movie, but Deadpool is too gory for me. I might see it anyway though.
- Baahubali: The Beginning (2015): The best thing about Times Square is that the big movie theaters on 42nd are always showing an Indian movie and a Chinese movie. It's a good way to see foreign blockbusters. Baahubali is very much in the spirit of the East Asian martial arts movies we've been seeing, but it's Indian, so a) everything has to be bigger and b) the martial art in question is "enormous set-piece infantry battles".
It's got everything I've come to expect from a martial arts movie, good and bad: non-stop action, semi-historical setting, political corruption, bandits, badass women, men creeping on those women, the CGI deaths of adorable megafauna. All that's missing is the burnt village (there was one implicitly, but at least we don't have to see it), and the priest who kicks ass for Lord Shiva. The priests in this movie are kind of craven. It's also got all the good and bad you'd expect from a Lord of the Rings type movie: magic, monarchy, quests, sword duels, horse stunts, a conlang, and a climactic battle against the dark-skinned Other. Plus the costume-change-heavy musical numbers you'd expect (blah) from an Indian movie other than Court.
It's a huge movie, three hours long. You watch a ninety-minute action movie, then you watch its prequel in a flashback (with some actors playing different roles and some playing 25-years-younger versions of the same roles--very confusing), and then it turns out it's the first part of a two-parter. Stuff that would be CGI in an American movie, they did it for real and filmed it. (A good decision--the CGI isn't great.)
I don't know if this movie is "good" in any highbrow sense—the plot is a pastiche of myth that gave me the overall impression of watching a big-budget Book of Mormon adaptation—but it's really fun to watch. American studios make this kind of movie all the time and they've got it down to a science. It's safe. I stayed interested in Baahubali because it didn't feel safe. There were a lot of plot twists, all from the same general mythic space, but they kept sticking 'em in and I didn't know which one they would choose next, not like with Ant-Man. Everything was so much bigger than other Indian movies I've seen, I felt at any time the director might lose control, but they pulled it off.
PS: Instead of the boring MPAA "This trailer has been approved for all audiences" green-screen, sometimes a trailer for an Indian movie will show you a picture of the trailer's censorship certificate. Classy!
- The Brink's Job (1978): Just after finishing the first run of Columbo, Peter Falk answers the question that was on everyone's mind: what if instead of a cop who entraps rich murderers, Columbo was a con who robs rich private security companies? I had to rearrange my whole day to catch this movie at Film Forum, but it was worth it. (It's on DVD, but the DVD costs $20. What is this, 2003?) It's a tense heist film full of slapstick that showcases Falk's ability to do comedy and drama at the same time. And his character is totally Columbo, whether he's baiting his adversaries into underestimating him, wearing shabby clothes he doesn't need to wear, or just doting on his wife. Features a solid supporting cast consisting entirely of "that guy", including Dick Van Dyke Show producer Sheldon Leonard as J. Edgar Hoover. Also features a brief Kevin Smith-esque comic book conversation.
In honor of seeing The Third Man and The Fifth Element in the same month I'd like to announce the Criterion Collection Film Festival. I call it that because I've collected movies that meet a certain criterion. I don't anticipate any trouble. Anyway, here's the lineup!
- The First Time (2012)
- The Second Face (1950)
- The Third Man (1949)
- The Forth Kind (2009)
- The Fifth Element (1997)
- The Sixth Sense (1999) <- Bruce Willis double feature!
- The Seventh Seal (1957)
- The Eighth Day (1996)
- The Ninth Configuration (1980)
Hope to see you there!
(1) Wed Jul 01 2015 07:14 June Film Roundup:
- Cowboys (2013): a.k.a. "Kauboji". Combines the highbrow downer of Eastern European film (the theater director) with the lowbrow energy of screwball comedy (every other character). Genre fiction—in this case the western—brings them together. I had a good time. There were a lot of really clever jokes, including one I think was added just for the foreign audience. During her audition the female lead starts doing her piece, and there are no subtitles. It sounds like Croatian but the subtitle says:
The camera cuts to the other auditioners, all looking confused.
[It's okay, they don't understand either.]
Good stuff, recommended.
- Flying Deuces (1939): I thought this film would save me a lot of time by simultaneously satisfying my idle curiosity about Laurel and Hardy, and the French Foreign Legion. For the French Foreign Legion I should have gone to Beau Geste, or Wikipedia. As for Laurel and Hardy, meh. I don't like when the straight man is the funny man's punching bag, and I only found them funny when they were doing really dark material like Hardy's protracted suicide attempt.
This film either assumes its audience is quite ignorant or demands more suspension of disbelief than a normal 1930s comedy. For instance, there's a stuffed marlin trying to pass for a man-eating shark. If I was bursting with laughter the whole time, I wouldn't care—I don't care when The Muppet Show does something cheesy like that—but despite the name of the movie L&H don't even touch an airplane until the final sequence, and that final sequence isn't too great.
- The Shining (1980): Starring Jack Nicholson as The Patriarchy! He really hams it up. Like Alien, a movie where I came in having read the book and well aware of the "spoofed in" scenes. As with Alien I loved the slow burn at the beginning, the long tour of the hotel with its glorious 1970s design. Probably not so fun on television, but that's why I wait to SEE [these films] BIG. It was intense, creepy and fun. It kind of dragged in the middle, possibly because of Hamlet cliches, but I think because none of the characters are that interesting. In the book the hotel slowly drives Jack insane, but in the movie it just gives him an excuse to let his preexisting problems run wild, meaning there's no character progression. And Shelly Duvall is still stuck in her Method acting as Olive Oyl.
The first thing I did after seeing this movie was create a bot. I call it A Dull Bot. It's not the first movie that inspired me to create a bot, but it is the first one where I got the idea while watching the movie. My dadaist heart was touched by how much Jack's manuscript resembles a real typewritten manuscript. It's not preternaturally neat, the way a possessed person would type. It's full of typos, like when your fingers can't keep up with your ideas. Jack really thinks this is great stuff. The manuscript thing is not in the novel, but if you've read On Writing I think you'll agree it's a very Steven King sort of scare.
My original plan was to create a full statistical model of typewriter typos, but once I abandoned this quixotic project I got the bot done in Darius time. I did copy the layout of the Adler typewriter used in the movie, so sometimes you'll see ½ in a typo.
- House Party (1990): Turns out Warrington Hudlin, film curator at the museum, also produced House Party. This was a 25th anniversary screening with a Q&A afterwards (including Play, via video chat), and the theater was packed with House Party superfans. There were a lot of good laughs, but after hearing people come up to the mic and saying they'd seen House Party over one hundred times, I wonder if it was the sort of laughter you'll hear from me watching The Big Lebowski.
Anyway, good teen party movie, and because it takes place over a single night the action is a lot tighter and the pacing more intense than other teen movies. Minor characters show up again in different contexts, major characters move around the game board and meet each other in different combinations, creating opportunities for different types of comedy.
Standout performances from Martin Lawrence as the un-smooth DJ, and Robin Harris as the working-class values dad, who's idealized in approximately the same way as the socialist mom in Good Bye Lenin! (2003).
- The Hudsucker Proxy (1994): Continuing my new resolution to watch only 90s movies with the initials "H.P.". I really dug this as a parody of classic 50s office movies like The Best of Everything. The main character was more complex than I expected, and it's pretty rare for the Coen brothers to do flat-out parody. And then the ending...? How, why? I don't understand it. It went from a funny parody of good 50s movies to stealing ideas from not-so-good 50s movies. What's going on? Maybe I don't get it, but I think I'm pretty good at figuring out the Coens' film-nerd tricks, and making me think something really clever is awful... not a useful trick. Still a "buy" on balance.
Tragically, this marks the end of Film Roundup, as the resolution I foolishly made late in the month means that the only movies I can see from this point on are the likes of Hocus Pocus (1993), Heaven's Prisoners (1996), Hurt Penguins (1992), and the Tagalog comedy classic Haba-baba-doo! Puti-puti-poo! (1997). We'll miss the magic, the mystery, but most of all... the movies.
Wait, I can just disregard resolutions? They're not legally binding? Amazing! See you next month! I gotta go cancel my Columbia Record Club membership.
(1) Mon Jun 29 2015 09:36 Beautiful Soup 4.4.0 beta:
I've found an agent for Situation Normal and the book is out to publishers and I don't have to think about it for a while. As seems to be my tradition after finishing a big project, I went through the accumulated Beautiful Soup backlog and closed it out. I've put out
a beta release which I'd like you to try out and report any problems.
I've fixed 17 bugs, added some minor new features, and changed the implementations of
__repr__ to work more like you'd expect from Python objects. But in my mind the major new change is this: I've added a warning that displays when you create a
BeautifulSoup object without explicitly specifying a parser:
UserWarning: No parser was explicitly specified, so I'm using the
best available HTML parser for this system ("lxml"). This usually
isn't a problem, but if you run this code on another system, or in a
different virtual environment, it may use a different parser and
To get rid of this warning, change this:
BeautifulSoup([your markup], "lxml")
It's a little annoying to get this message, but it's also annoying to have your code silently behave differently because you copied it to a machine that didn't have lxml installed, and it's also annoying when I have to check pretty much every reported bug to see whether this is the problem. Whenever I think I can eliminate a class of support question with a warning, I put in the warning. It saves everybody time.
The other possibility: now that Python's built-in HTMLParser is decent, I could make it so that it's always the default unless you specify another parser. This would cause a big one-time wrench, as even machines which have lxml installed would start using HTMLParser, but once it shook out the problem would be solved. I might still do that, but I think I'll give everyone about a year to get rid of this annoying warning.
Anyway, try out the beta. Unless there's a big problem I'll be releasing 4.4.0 on Friday.
(1) Sun Jun 21 2015 12:26 Reviews of Old Science Fiction Magazines: Analog 1985/07:
Here it is, the final entry in this series, started seven years ago when I picked up a bunch of old SF magazines at a swap-fest. I've acquired a lot of magazines since then, and those are getting 'old', so it could continue, but this is the last of the original set. And good riddance, because this magazine smells like laundry detergent for some reason.
So what do we got? The cover story (one assumes) is the first part of Timothy Zahn's "Spinneret", which would later be published as a novel. It was good but I kinda see where it's going and don't feel a strong need to read the novel.
Eric G. Iverson's "Noninterference" is a pleasant story whose sole purpose is to dis the Prime Directive. The accompanying artwork seems more appropriate to a story about the mixing of the ultimate prog-rock album.
Charles L. Harness's "George Washington Slept Here" is the cream of this issue: a creative, funny and entertaining story that combines several Analog favorites (aliens, historical figures, and fussy middle-aged hobbies) that you rarely see together. Bonus: no time travel or major alt-history, just a character with a really long lifespan. I really liked the concept of the main character, a lawyer who loses every case he takes, but in a way that's more beneficial to his client than if he'd won. That concept's strong enough to support a series, but it looks like this is the only one.
This month's vague story blurbs:
- There are always ethical considerations in dealing with either indivuals or cultures—and the two can't always be kept neatly separated.
- Some fictional clichés eventually achieve a sort of reality—but seldom exactly as their creators imagined.
- Can a good thing be carried too far?
Now to nonfiction. David Brin's essay "Just How Dangerous Is The Galaxy?" classifies every known potential solution to the Fermi Paradox and puts them in a big table by which term of the Drake Equation they affect. He also introduces his own "Water World" solution, which he deigns to classify in a separate section called "Optimism". This solution posits that "Earth is unusually dry for a water world," and that intelligent life evolves all the time, and thrives for long periods, but very rarely builds spaceships. I'm just riffing on the idea here, and I don't buy the idea that "hands and fire" are prerequisites to advanced technology, but you could imagine a dolphin-type civilization treating a planet's surface and atmosphere the way we treat low-earth orbit.
Tom Easton's book review column includes a review of Ender's Game, which wanders into a long philosophical discussion that I won't reproduce here because it's pretty similar to stuff you can find on the Internet. I was disappointed to read that "Russel M. Griffin's The Timeservers is a pale incarnation of the diplomatic satire that made Laumer's Retief so popular." It was a Phillip K. Dick Award finalist, though, so maybe it's just on a different wavelength from Laumer.
In letters, paleontologist Jack Cohen returns fire at Tom Easton, who in an earlier book review column disputed the evolutionary biology in Harry Harrison's Cohen-collaboration West of Eden. And reader Michael Owens has it out with Ben Bova about the latter's support of the Star Wars program. Summary of Owens: "far from leading to a defense-oriented world, Star Wars leads to another offense-oriented arms race." Bova responds that he wrote a book (Assured Survival) that deals with all this stuff, and then mentions this comforting tidbit:
[T]he new defensive technologies do not apply only to satellites and ballistic missiles. They are already being developed into "smart weapons" that will make the tanks, artillery, planes, and ships of conventional land and sea warfare little more than expensive and very vulnerable targets. "Star Wars" technologies (plural!) can make all forms of aggressive warfare so difficult that an era of worldwide peace is in view—if the nations of the world want peace.
Which leads nicely into the thing I've saved for last because I've got a lot to say about it, in direct violation of my usual "if you can't say anything nice" rule. Previously on Analog, columnist G. Harry Stine asked readers to send in their answers to the following question, which I will quote in full:
What, in your opinion, is the most important problem that technologists should tackle in the next twenty years, and why do you believe this?
In this issue Stine reports the results, and I was looking forward to doing a kind of The Future: A Retrospective thing on them.
The first thing Stine does is disqualify 120 of the 127 replies he got. That may seem extreme, but that's approximately what I'd do if I was running a magazine and accepting fiction submissions. I was kind of laughing along as he disqualified entries for exceeding the word limit or otherwise ignoring the rules, but then I got to this:
49.61% of the replies [63 of 127]... discussed problems that were either (a) not technological problems, but social and political instead; (b) already solved or well along the road to solution; (c) trivial and parochial in their scope; (d) based on incorrect, incomplete, or outmoded data; and/or (e) the result of someone else's telling the respondent that the problem was a problem because the expert said so, whereupon the respondent stated it on faith without checking.
And at this point I gotta call bullshit. You didn't say "most important technological problem", you said "most important problem technologists should tackle." Social and political problems have technical aspects, and vice versa. The impact of a technological development is judged by its effect on society. This is the basis of the science fiction genre! You could replace every vague Analog story blurb with "Social and political problems tend to have technical aspects, and vice versa...", and it would always fit the story!
Half of Analog's readership can follow directions but their opinions are wrong. Let's take a look at the top five disqualified "problems" (all direct quotes, scare quotes in original):
- Control of nuclear weapons
- the "population explosion"
- the "energy shortage"
- the "raw materials shortage"
- "pollution" in various and sundry forms
I sure am glad technologists didn't waste any more time on these non-problems after 1985! According to Stine, America's ballistic missile defense system is well on its way to solving #1 (if the nations of the world want peace, of course). #2 isn't a problem anymore because the rate of population growth has slowed. #3 and #4 were never real problems. ("The only reason we had an 'energy shortage' was to provide an excuse for politicians and bureaucrats to gain control of natural resources, and thereby gain control over people.") As for #5, who's to say what counts as "pollution"? Like most words, it's a "semantically-loaded term". "Pollution in its many forms may be a localized problem in some areas, but it is not a worldwide problem."
So what are the seven entries that made the cut? I'm glad you asked, previous sentence:
- "Making products maintenance-free, i.e. designed for a 100-year life with a 0.0001 probability of maintenance." DISQUALIFIED. Maybe the move from 75 years to 100 would be a technical improvement, but the problem as it exists today is a problem with the way products are sold, and technical improvements won't change that.
- "[C]ontrol of the weather" to boost crop yields and prevent famine. SEMI-DISQUALIFIED. Modern famines are political problems, not technical problems. Control of the weather would indeed be great, not for this reason, but because it would let us mitigate the damage caused by our worldwide pollution problem.
- "The construction and maintenance of closed ecological systems". Sure, OK.
- Here's the shortest quote I could get that explains this one:
Education depends on communication. John points out that communication involves moving information from place to place... which really isn't much of a problem, but... managing the information is. It's possible to download lots of information into a student's mind. But if the student doesn't know how to determine what information is meaningful and relevant... everything stored in the student's memory is useless.
Now that's more like it! Not only is this a real problem, it's one that we made significant progress on between 1985 and 2005!
- "The development of the direct link between the human mind and the computer to produce a true intelligence amplifier." Another good one. We got both parts of this (mind-computer link and intelligence amplifier), but in practice they don't have anything to do with each other.
- "[T]he construction by machines of very small machines." This also happened but proved not to be a huge deal, and even Stine is kinda skeptical ("he doesn't specify exactly what technological problems can be solved by developing sub-microscopic technology"). I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the real problem is the reader doesn't specify exactly what social or political problems can be solved with this technology.
- And finally,
Del Cain of Augusta, ME presented a technological problem that is as much philosophical as technological... He wants technologists to develop structures and artifacts that tend to support healthy behavior in human beings—i.e. to help people live and rear children so they can develop to their full potential without trauma but not without struggle, difficulty, or drama. To do this, he believes that we should solve the technological problem of determining what are the optimum sizes and structures of healthy communities. In short, he feels that the big problem is developing technology with a life-affirming philosophy behind it.
I don't understand how Del Cain managed to smuggle the concept of Scandanavian social democracy past G. Harry Stine, but good job. No, wait, I figured it out: I'm projecting, and so was he.
Well, there we go, that's our look at old SF magazines of the 80s. To commemorate the end of the series, I've scanned all the old ads in this magazine, not just the ones I thought were interesting or funny. But here are the ones I thought were interesting or funny:
I'll leave you with this question: what, in your opinion, is the most important problem that technologists should have tackled from 1985 to 2005, and why do you believe this?
Sun May 31 2015 17:55 May Film Roundup:
This month features some interesting foreign films, an old-favorite blockbuster, and an awesome new blockbuster with a surprising connection to one of my all-time favorite films. What are these nuggets of cinema gold? I don't know, I'm just the intro paragraph, you'll have to ask the bulleted list:
- The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001): I know this movie pretty well by now, so I watched up to "Fly, you fools!" (my favorite part) and then left the theater and got some dinner. It was interesting to see the expanded editions on the big screen (and in a real digital print, not the DVD projected onto the theater screen like the museum sometimes does). I don't know how often I'll get to see that.
Dunno what else to say, if you've been reading this blog you know my feelings on Tolkien, both book and film. In fact this is one of the few films I reviewed when I first saw it, thirteen years ago, and I stand by everything in there.
MinecraftMoria looks good, the elves are limpid, the large creature CGI now looks terrible. Hell, Peter Jackson, go ahead and pull a George Lucas, clean up that motion capture. It was all done on an SGI machine to begin with, you're not disrespecting anyone's craft. Although... to be honest I think the Hobbit movies had the same problems. All the mo-cap characters are constantly milking the giant cow. I don't think it's a solved problem yet.
It was really weird being in a theater seeing a movie that a) has been the basis for major Internet memes but b) the whole movie isn't a meme a la Rocky Horror/The Room. There was a lot of snickering at Boromir saying "One does not simply walk into Mordor" and it felt awkward, like people snickering at Ginger Rogers saying "Aren't we gay?" or Groucho Marx saying "Making love to Mrs. Claypool is my racket." They didn't know how we'd read that line!
- The 39 Steps (1935): Sort of a dry run for the much better North by Northwest. To be honest I forgot I even saw this movie until I saw it in my notes. It wasn't bad, the handcuffs conceit was solid, but there were just too many betrayals. It got old after a while. I also think this scenario (ordinary person on the run, in over their heads) demands spectacle, and the budget wasn't there.
- Black River (1956): aka "Kuroi kawa". Good drama about the corrupting effects of being under military occupation. It's pretty amazing how visually striking it is for all the signage in a Japanese movie to be in English.
There's a laugh line where the protagonist is confronting a gangster:
Protagonist: "Who are you?"
Gangster [flicking away cigarette]: "Godzilla."
It's funny and topical but also accurate, because the gangster is planning on tearing the protagonist's house down. Within this movie he is, effectively, Godzilla. This is notable as the only cinematic Godzilla joke I can think of that's not a Japanese character in an American disaster movie running away from the disaster screaming "This is worse than my encounter with Godzilla!" Which always struck me as a weird joke to make, because it puts your movie in the Godzilla universe, where the UNGCC exists and governments should be prepared for, or at least accustomed to, large-scale disasters.
Other Japan-specific plot points: obsession with knowing everyone's blood type, the near-uselessness of personal seals as a form of document security.
- Max Max: Fury Road (2015): I'm just glad that we as a nation have finally moved beyond Thunderdome. (Actual review starts now.) This was a good movie that became great at the beginning of act three, when it used my favorite action-movie plot twist—"let's turn around and go directly into the danger"— and revealed itself as an update of my third favorite film of all time, The General (1926). Pure infernokrusher fun.
As always, the worldbuilding is incredible (and understated), but expression of character is limited to everyone's individual post-apocalyptic fashion statements. Other downsides: every time there's voiceover or text on the screen it's embarrassing. The whole premise of the series remains silly. But c'mon, it's a canonical Mad Max movie featuring Megaweapon. Best of the year list for sure.
Doubting the The General connection? Here's director George Miller (h/t Sarah): "[T]he best version of this movie is black and white, but people reserve that for art movies now." And:
A while after this talk, during a post-film reception, I spoke with Miller about his affinity for that black and white version of Fury Road. He said that he has demanded a black and white version of Fury Road for the blu-ray, and that version of the film will feature an option to hear just the isolated score as the only soundtrack — the purest and most stripped-down version of Fury Road you can imagine.
Maybe you'll believe when you finally see Fury Road as a silent movie. Or just watch The General now. No other movie puts so much work into creating a nonstop thrill ride. Gravity (2013) does a good job keeping the adrenaline pumping, but it's got a totally linear narrative. (I'm guessing you could say the same for Speed (1994), the other big Sandra Bullock vehicle, but I haven't seen it.) Fury Road uses the double-back twist to turn all the ideas used in the first part of the movie on their head. And The General does all that while also being funny as hell.
- Rashōmon (1950): My verdict on this movie is that it's done its job and is now mainly of historical importance. I understand what it was doing but it had a really awful message of "gee, the rapist and the rape victim have conflicting testimonies, I guess we'll never know the truth!" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I also don't think the movie wanted me to feel the moment of maximum tension right at the end. What's going to happen to that kid? After all that I'm supposed to believe that kid is going to be okay? Don't you know how foreign films work?
I feel like this is a rare example where the Mel Brooks spoof would convey the appropriate points just as well, and age better than the actual movie.
- I Can Quit Whenever I Want (2014): aka "Smetto Quando
Voglio". A decent Italian comedy that's... a huge ripoff of Breaking Bad on every level, from plot to cinematography. I guess the character arcs are different. I'm not really unhappy about this, because there is one major twist in the formula: the drug the disgruntled chemists make in this movie isn't actually illegal. Changing that one variable and leaving everything else the same makes the movie feel more like a scientific experiment than a ripoff. It is in fact still a huge ripoff, but I had fun.
The main source of my fun was watching the non-chemists in the gang of academics bring the mindset of their fields to drug dealing. The one laugh-out-loud moment for me was seeing how they acquired guns for their heist. There was a lot of laughter in the theater, though, even for jokes previously found only on the Buzzfeed list "Only Real Italian Academics Will Get These 25 Jokes About Hyperfragmented Leftist Politics." There's some ethnic stereotyping of Roma which I didn't really pick up on because they used a specific Italian sub-group of Roma I'd never heard of, but I looked it up afterwards and yup. Pretty uneven overall, but if you wanted Breaking Bad to stay a comedy the whole way through, I think this is the current frontrunner.
(3) Tue May 12 2015 07:00 The Future Is Prologue:
I'm experimenting with writing a prologue for Situation Normal, to reduce the thrown-into-the-deep-end feeling typical of my fiction. I say 'experimenting with' rather than 'just doing it' because I wrote something and it wasn't a prologue. I'd just turned back the clock to before the book started and written a regular scene.
I don't like prologues for the very reason I'm trying to write one: they're introductory infodumps. I usually skim them, unless they look like the Law and Order style prologues where the POV character dies at the end of the scene. But this book has so many POV characters already, I don't think I should go that route.
I talked it over with Sumana and she gave me the idea of pacing the prologue as though it were the first scene of a short story. That's something I've done before, so I know I can do it again, and it doesn't mean big infodumps, just more internal monologue.
I'd like your suggestions of genre fiction books with effective prologues. Prologues that made you say "yes, I want to read a whole book about this stuff." I can't think of many examples but I admit I'm blinded by prejudice.
Sun May 03 2015 08:43 April Film Roundup:
Sumana spent a lot of time out of town this month, so I took the opportunity to clear out a bunch of items on my "movies I want to see but Sumana doesn't" list. But there's also plenty of movies we saw together. How can you tell the difference?... I think you'll be able to tell.
- Chappie (2015): Dev Patel lives up to his name in this story of a really poorly run technology company. Tetravaal produces two competing products, each run solely by the lead developer, and the lead developers don't even have offices. Each has a cube right next to the other lead developer, for maximum bad blood. The security policy is terrible, and employee safety is not a priority. I guess this is how the film industry works. I mean, you write what you know, right?
The robot is cute. I was expecting some violence but not Robocop level violence, which maybe made it inappropriate for a date night. I was expecting to see more than two South African actors in this movie from a South African director set in Johannesburg. Seems a little weird?
Speaking of Robocop, there are a couple obvious movies you could compare this to, but I'd like to bring your attention to Robot and Frank (2012), a really wonderful movie we saw shortly before I started Film Roundup. I'm not bringing up Robot and Frank because I think it's better than Chappie (although I do think this), but because it takes a much different approach to the same basic premise. They'd make a great double feature.
- Kundo: Age of the Rampant (2014) A.k.a. "Kundo: min-ran-eui si-dae". Not to be confused with Transformers 6: Age of the Rampant. This was a fun movie with many of our favorite martial-arts elements: heists, Robin Hood type gangs, women and Buddhist priests kicking ass, etc. I especially liked the Faceman of this particular A-Team, who turned to a life of crime after acing the civil service exam but getting civil service-blocked due to a lack of family connections.
- War of the Arrows (2011): The museum's martial arts curator was really psyched about this one, but although archery is technically a "martial art" I don't think it's one of the more cinematically exciting ones. In terms of dramatic structure, I liked how the brutish loot-and-pillage villains of the first act all got killed and were replaced by a squad of cooler-headed villains.
This film is especially un-recommended for fans of doesthewhaledie.com sister sites doesthedogdie.com and doesthehorsedie.com. In a Korean movie, you can kill four dogs in the first scene and not even be the bad guy!
Oh yeah, also, all of these Korean historical action films have a village getting burned. Even The Pirates, which despite some notable missteps is supposed to be a lighthearted romp. Village gets burned in the middle of the film. It's awful! I have a pretty high tolerance for watching film violence, but it has to be coded kind of cartoonish for me to enjoy it, and burning villages I just can't watch. Why is that scene even in the movie? Most of the time it's just to make us hate the villains. C'mon, it's a silly action movie. I'll stipulate hating the villains.
- Ed Wood (1994):
As an afficionado of cheesy movies, the worst we can find (la la la), I didn't expect to learn much from this heavily fictionalized biopic. But it surprised me! This movie makes the really interesting argument that Ed Wood wasn't an abnormally bad director; he was an abnormally good producer. Obstacles that would have stopped other people from putting out a bad movie, didn't stop him. Ed Wood looks like the worst director in the world due to survivor bias. He's actually the worst director whose movies were finished and released. (And let's be honest, Coleman Francis is worse.)
If Ed Wood were as good a director as he was a producer he'd be Roger Corman, the SyFy Original of directors, a guy who consistently delivers mediocre B-movies on time and on budget. But the movie Ed Wood, like last month's Bowfinger, is a celebration of the drive to actually get a movie made, damn the quality. And that's the producer's job. The conversation between Wood and Orson Welles really drives this home. They're talking about producing, not directing.
I don't know what to think about Bill Murray's portrayal of Bunny Breckenridge. It's so over the top campy in a way that should have been on its way out in 1994, but after researching Breckenridge's life a bit I'm willing to believe it's an accurate portrayal.
- The House of Hate (1918): Another lesson I learned from MST3K is that it's okay not to watch all of a serial. That's why I felt perfectly fine leaving during intermission when the museum showed The House of Hate, long thought totally lost and newly restored from a Soviet print that cut it down to three hours from its original seven—a story more interesting than anything in The House of Hate itself. It has some decent silent-era action, but I didn't get the feeling I got during Reds, that I was leaving just as things were getting good. It's like watching characters bounce around a Markov chain. There's a lot of silent film I love, but the immaturity of the medium + the narrative constraints of a serial = bleh.
- The Godfather, Part 3 (1990) The triple threat of movies Sumana doesn't want to see: a really long movie about man-pain that she's already seen. I came in expecting it to be a disaster, and I don't think it needed to be so long, but I liked it. It's a disaster compared to the original Godfather, but I don't like Part 2 as much as everyone else, and this was just one step below that—still pretty good! It was great to finally see some bits of continuity with the New York I know, like the zeppoli stands at the Italian festival. I also loved the machinations in the Vatican.
I suspect part of people's dissatisfaction with this movie vis-a-vis part two is they want to see Michael Corleone acting like a badass, calling in hits, going out like Tony Montana at the end of Scarface. Instead the whole movie's about Michael being tired of this shit, which is probably a metaphor for the franchise but is a good topic for a film.
- The Wrestler (2008): Another movie Sumana wouldn't want to see, and not one I'd normally choose to see, but I remembered there was a fictional NES game in this movie, and I was in the mood to have something on in the background while I did computer stuff. Probably not what Aronofsky wants to hear, but this movie was great at being on in the background. If I had to give it my full attention I would have been annoyed at the by-the-numbers plot structure, but Mickey Rourke gives a great performance and the NES game is all it's cracked up to be.
According to IMDB trivia, "The film reportedly moved wrestler Roddy Piper so much, he broke down and cried after a screening." Big respect for that.
- Gentlemen Broncos (2009): The forgotten response to the surprising success of Napoleon Dynamite, it's as if Jared and Jerusha Hess decided to turn all the quirky nerdy rural Mormon humor sliders as high as they would go until everyone got sick of it. And... this is the point where everyone got sick of it. I didn't even know this film existed until I read about it on Boing Boing. And those sliders are a little high even for me, but overall I liked this movie and I'm really close to saying I really liked it. It presses one of my less-often-activated cinematic buttons of showing multiple adaptations of the same basic idea, a la The Five Obstructions.
This movie went on my no-Sumana list as soon as I saw "The vomit-soaked story..." in the Boing Boing review. It's too bad there's so much gross-out because I think Sumana would like it otherwise. It's got a very strong Garth Marenghi's Darkplace vibe. You've never heard of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace? Great, now I'm the blog telling people about visual experiences they've never heard of. Wait, that's good, because now you know that Garth Marenghi's Darkplace is hilarious and you should check it out.
- Night Shift (1982): A not-that-funny romantic comedy about the unionization of sex workers. Some classic Visicalc action doesn't redeem the lack of laughs; it's like they put the primal elements of comedy—sex, death, money—in a beaker and expected comedy to form spontaneously. I guess it's better than Pretty Woman, but I haven't seen Pretty Woman so I'm just going on my mental stereotype of the politics of that movie. Michael Keaton acts like he's in a totally different movie, a movie that also wouldn't be good if you were watching it, but glimpses of it come as a relief.
- The Best of Everything (1959): Absolutely amazing office dramedy with snappy banter, glorious NYC location shots, genteel sleaze, struggles of modern women, etc. I didn't like how the movie picked the least sleazy of all the sleazeballs for the heroine to hook up with, when her friend was able to find an actually decent guy, but I guess a girl's got to play the hand she's dealt. Definitely going on my best-of-the-year list.
There seems to be a strong connection to 9 to 5 (1980) in that the newly-minted secretary comes in to her first day of work drastically overdressed wearing a big ridiculous hat, but according to IMDB trivia, Jane Fonda talked to women who'd been in that situation and learned it was a common mistake, so both movies are based on a now-vanished reality.
- The Americanization of Emily (1964): Also going on my best-of-the-year list thanks to its almost-perfect script by Paddy Chayefsky. If Billy Wilder had directed this he would have sanded down the rough edges and this would be one of the greatest films of all time. But why look a gift horse in the mouth, it's really really really good. Snappy dialogue, a farce/fiasco/farce double-twist, and a brilliant core concept. And, hell, if Chayefsky had brought this script to Billy Wilder he probably would have said "Yeah, I fled the Nazis, I'm gonna take a pass on mocking D-Day," and that would be totally fair.
One little quibble: despite the title, the movie doesn't really focus on Emily.
- Reservoir Dogs (1992): The ultimate showdown, years in the making. I don't like Quentin Tarantino, but I love love love Steve Buscemi. Who will win? And hey, this movie's good! It's more restrained than Pulp Fiction, probably due to the tiny budget, but see above re: gift horses. The nonlinear narrative makes a lot of sense dramatically. The way Mr. Orange's "commode story" is dramatized is damn impressive. I could do without the graphic violence, but I knew what I was in for. The performances are good, but especially noteworthy is America's sweetheart, Steve Buscemi. He's so good he got the part Tarantino wrote for himself, meaning that although Tarantino still acts in the movie he's only got about three lines. Let's lift a glass to Steve Buscemi, savior of Reservoir Dogs.
Thu Apr 02 2015 10:55 March Film Roundup:
We saw lots of stuff this month but not a lot of feature films. The upside is that a lot of what I did see is online for free.
- A Matter of Life and Death (1946): a.k.a. "Stairway to Heaven" but tragically with no Zeppelin on the soundtrack. I'm really impressed by Roger Livesy. He keeps showing up in propaganda films (previously The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp) and bringing so much humanity to the role that he subverts the propaganda aspect. This film is no Colonel Blimp (another film that really could have used some Zeppelin on the soundtrack), but it's really weird and worth seeing. Half the film takes place in heaven, specifically a heaven for Allied service members during WWII. A sort of heaven as USO club. There's some great morbid humor where e.g. a squad of American flyboys whose plane has just been blown up come into heaven and head straight for the Coke machine. Ribbing their lieutenant when he asks for officer's quarters, etc.
As with many genre works created by people unaccustomed to genre fiction, the fantasy setting falls apart on the slightest examination. Like, where are the Russians? There are no Russian soldiers in this movie. I don't expect a British propaganda movie to show dead Nazis in heaven, but there's no mention of hell, and one of the main characters is an eighteenth-century French nobleman—certainly an enemy of the British in his day. There are Americans who died in the Revolution. Those guys hate the British. In fact, the postmortem hatred of colonized peoples towards the British underpins the best plot point in the movie. We see Indians, so the issue isn't religion. Where are the Russians?
Sumana proposed that the Axis powers have a separate heaven, to keep fights from breaking out, and they'll be integrated after the war in a divine Marshall Plan. But this means that the paperwork hasn't gone through to transfer all the Soviet soldiers from the Axis heaven to the Allied heaven, so there must be all sorts of post-Molotov-Ribbentrop fights going on in the other heaven, and that's a much more interesting story than the one we have here.
- Brotherhood of Blades (2014): OK but not great Chinese period piece. I don't have much to say about this one. I'm gonna keep going to see the museum's martial arts series but they only stand out for me when there's a stylistic twist (Tai Chi Zero) or an unusual plot (The Pirates).
- Film festival special! Sumana and I saw two runs of shorts from the International Children's Film Festival. It was really good, thanks to the general conflation of "animation" with "children's film" (only one film we saw had no animated component). You get a ton of animated films that, although kid-friendly, weren't necessarily intended for children, and which can explore some really dark territory. Here are the ones I liked, with links to full video or at least trailers or IMDB pages where possible.
- 5.80 Meters - Surreal and French, incredibly realistic CGI, my fave.
- Eyes - Chuck Jones-ish, literal "sight gags", Sumana's fave.
- JohnnyExpress - Incredibly dark comedy with super-colorful Pixar-style animation.
- Mythopolis - Clever and sweet.
- Me and my Moulton and A Single Life are Oscar nominees, so you know they're too good for full-length online videos. All you get is a trailer! A Single Life is effectively a music video, so that "trailer" includes a good portion of the film.
- Submarine Sandwich - "Like a Sesame Street short." - Sumana
- Imagination - Gumbyesque and Cyrillic.
- Leaving Home - Funny until it takes an abrupt turn into sad.
- By the Stream - Sad the whole way through.
- Eyes on the Stars - From StoryCorps, illustrates the stubborn badassness necessary to become an astronaut.
- Giovanni and the Water Ballet (trailer only) - Initially I was upset that the museum tricked me into watching a "sports movie", but I was won over by the hilarity of the relationship between Giovanni and his girlfriend Kim. This film is full of Dutch people being incredibly Dutch in different ways.
- Tigers Tied Up In One Rope. It's like The Human Centipede, for kids!
- Electric Soul - Visually great but nothing really happens.
- We also saw the three Wallace and Gromit shorts on the big screen, which are still totally fun and charming.
- And, not related to the film festival, but featuring a similar lack of feature-length movies I can review for you, we saw this retrospective on Jim Henson's commercials, which was absolutely hilarious. It started with the Wilkins Coffee ads (plus the many variants used to sell regional brands of bread or bottled water or luncheon meat). It also showed some fake promotional "behind-the-scenes" videos where Henson, Oz, and company get hired to do some Wilkins-style commercials, but spend the whole day goofing off on set instead of filming. Lots of other good stuff. The whole thing was really funny and Karen Falk of the Jim Henson Company did a great job curating.
- The Girl Can't Help It (1956): Frank Tashlin's test run for Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?, released the following year. I imagine Tashlin telling Jayne Mansfield: "Everyone else looks at you and sees boobs, but I see socially incisive, character-driven comedy! With jokes about your boobs." In any comedy involving the intersection of gangsters with the non-gangster world, the question is whether it's the gangsters or the squares who will steal the show, and here, as usual, the gangsters run away with it. Edmond O'Brien's mob boss quickly reveals hidden depths, and Mansfield's gangster's moll gets a ton of good lines with the stick-up-his-ass male lead acting as straight man. Fun, but not as good as Rock Hunter?, which itself isn't as good as I'm making it sound here.
- Europa Report (2013): Every dramatic element in this movie comes from somewhere else, as does much of the footage. But it's effective, and pretty incredible that you can now take those pieces that required blockbuster money to realize back in the 1980s, and do them justice with a budget like that of a SyFy original movie. In fact SyFy should start doing originals like Europa Report.
This film has a bit of the tentacle monster prejudice problem, in that it's very easy to read as a horror movie but I really don't think it is. It generally avoids or subverts viewer expectations regarding the obnoxious found-footage genre. So maybe that's part of the general mood of subversion. Not original on the level of plot or characterization, but a very well-made film, and fun to watch.
- Bowfinger (1999): Frank Oz returns, hopefully with a little more professionalism than when he was drinking beer and dancing with girls when he should have been filming those lunch meat commercials with Jim Henson. Sumana really liked this movie when it came out, and I like it too, but not as much as she does, I think. The concept is great but I feel like it's got an indie-movie plot full of Hollywood-movie comedy. At this point I've watched a lot of movies about an absurd situation becoming more and more absurd, and I like it better when the escalation is driven by the characters trying to change strategies and dig themselves out of the absurdity. In Bowfinger the characters never change and the escalation is shown by involving more hardware in each successive scenario.
The only characters in this film who change are Bowfinger's crew, who start off knowing nothing about film but who show the hard-working entrepreneurial spirit traditional to American immigrants and become good enough to get steady work in Hollywood, unlike the rest of the losers in this movie. That's your subtle indie-movie humor there, and I wish the other characters had had real arcs.
Mon Mar 02 2015 22:51 January Film roundup:
- The Music Man (1962, 2003): We marathoned both versions of The Music Man, making me the Music Man Marathon Man. I'm attached to the 1962 original, Sumana to the 2003 remake (which you can see on Youtube). We laughed, we learned, we sang along. It's such a good musical, with the greatest resolution to a con job I've ever seen.
The 2003 version does a couple things better—notably the mayor—
but most of the actors in the 2003 version are too young for the part and look even younger than they are. Matthew Broderick doesn't have the gravitas to play Professor Hill. More like Graduate Student Hill, amirite? There's a line where he tells Marian she's "twenty-six years late" to her Lovers' Lane assignation. Kristin Chenoweth is 35 in this movie and she looks about 28. Some shots had to be redone with a stunt double because Broderick's umbilical cord was visible.
Overall, the 1962 version is still the best. I mean, Cary Grant refused to play Harold Hill because he wanted to see Robert Preston do it like he did on Broadway. That's a hell of an endorsement. And one thing we hadn't noticed before was that Preston isn't afraid to massively camp it up when he's putting the con on River City. I guess what I'm saying is it takes judgement, brains and maturity to play—I say that any fool can fast-talk his way through the Harold Hill part, and I call that sloth.
- The Parallax View (1974): This movie was super tense and really freaked Sumana out. I liked the way it would seem like a character was becoming important to the story and then, jump cut, they're dead now. The central concept of the movie is brilliant. The set pieces are pretty good and the final one is incredible. Recommended overall.
Video game watch: there's a scene where a scientist is playing Pong with a chimpanzee.
- The Pirates (2014): I was initially very excited about this story of medieval Korean pirates chasing after a renegade whale. And there's a lot of goofy action but all the fun was spoiled for me because the whale dies! Yes, the tragic destiny of this movie's majestic whale is to be graphically killed and become a CGI whalefall. Boooo. Not recommended.
Unaccountably other people don't consider this a deal-breaker. The movie was made, Sumana recommends it, and Sarah scoffed when I mentioned the possibility that a whale's gory death was a reason to dislike the movie. I am alone! I was afraid this would happen so I went online ahead of time looking for a Whale Death Warning, but even with hindsight the best I can find it this vague statement in an Amazon review: "Also, having the movie scenes with the Mother whale and the baby were to raw and disgusting for under aged people to watch.." I'm not even sure whether this is talking about the death scene or the (completely unobjectionable) nursing scene. That's why I'm starting a new website, doesthewhaledie.com, as a public service to whales and whale allies who want to be spared these graphic portrayals. Here's the initial site mockup I used to secure VC funding:
|Movie||Does the whale die?|
|Star Trek IV ||No! 🐳|
|The Pirates ||Yes|
|The Little Mermaid (initial establishing shot)||Probably not|
|That National Geographic special from the 80s ||OH GOD|
- Kid-Thing (2012): A modern illustration of my aphorism that the French New Wave directors made films that would be much better as genre films. You can read this film as an unpleasant indie dysfunctional-family dramedy that's mean and only kinda funny, the sort of film that considers Napoleon Dynamite a phony big-budget sell-out. Or you can read it as a really effective horror movie that relies solely on the fact that kids are assholes. Either way, it was refreshing in a Celine and Julie way to see a ten-year-old girl get the sort of screwed-up Huckleberry Finn part that usually goes to boys.
Annie squishes a grub in this movie, and there's a dead cow, so if you feel about grubs or cows the way I feel about whales, don't see this movie. Not recommended in general, except maybe for certain real-life ten-year-olds. I couldn't find an MPAA rating, but if your kid is ready, you'll know.
Video game watch: at one point we see Annie playing Devil World on the family TV using a N64 controller. This may appear to be a ridiculous inaccuracy, since Devil World was a Famicom game and it never even came out in America, but it's actually one of the subtlest, truest portrayals of video games I've ever seen in a movie. The "N64 controller" has AV cables coming out of it, indicating that it's an all-in-one system loaded with pirate ROMs. Specifically, it's the Power Player Super Joy III, which comes with Devil World and displays the flashing "FUN TIME" we see earlier in the scene. So the filmmakers got it absolutely right. Annie's playing Devil World on a crappy pirate Famiclone because that's the only game system her family can afford.
- Pennies from Heaven (1981): One of the most cynical movies I've ever seen, not just that its attitude is cynical but that it thinks the audience will swallow gritty 70s cinema if we also get fabulous show-stopping musical numbers where Christopher Walken does a tap-dancing pool table striptease. (Highlight of the film.) Fred Astaire, who's unwillingly in this movie via archive footage, said (courtesy IMDB trivia):
I have never spent two more miserable hours in my life. Every scene was cheap and vulgar. They don't realize that the thirties were a very innocent age, and that [the film] should have been set in the eighties - it was just froth; it makes you cry it's so distasteful.
I wasn't there in the 30s, but I think someone who says "it was a very innocent age" is really making a statement about their own mental state. Anyway, this sort of gets at the problem, but it doesn't explain how Paper Moon can be a 70s-cinema movie set in the Depression that's very cynical but also funny and a great movie. Doesn't explain Sullivan's Travels.
The secret ingredient is, again, that vague concept called "heart". Paper Moon and Sullivan's Travels have heart; Pennies from Heaven just hates musicals. But it also has to prove its technical chops to demonstrate that its hate does not spring from jealousy. And the film's technical chops are amazing, absolute first class. So the film is really good at being the thing it hates. It's like a talented lit-fic author writing a novel deconstructing the science fiction genre and then denying the book they've written is, in fact, an exemplar of a school of science fiction that flourished in the 1970s. So how about some heart with your cynicism? That's Dr. Billy Wilder's 100% reliable nostrum.
Thu Feb 26 2015 21:48 Reviews of Old Science Fiction Magazines: F&SF October 1985:
The first story in this magazine is James Tiptree's "The Only Neat Thing to Do", and the introductory copy introduces the main character as "a green-eyed young woman who happens to be one of the most appealing characters you are likely to encounter in these or any other pages," and my attitude was "Pffft, green eyes, sure, we'll see about that... DAMMIT." This story's so good. It starts out with this perfect wish-fulfillment space adventure but look at the title, folks, it's not gonna end well. Argh, so good.
Harlan Ellison still hates Gremlins, in fact he says he's been getting letters from people who scoffed at his Gremlins hate but now they've seen the movie they're swallowing their pride and sending him "toe-scuffling, red-faced, abnegating appeals for absolution." I'm harboring a doubt or two here, because he's also saying other people who took his advice (and presumably didn't see the movie) are thanking him.
Given that Gremlins has consistently been a well-regarded film since its release, why would someone say "Thanks for warning me off the movie I haven't seen that people still seem to like."?
But all that's in the past. In this issue Ellison doubles down, telling people not to see The Goonies due to "utter emptyheadedness", which, okay, at least it's a critique and not 'the lurkers support me in email.' Also on Ellison's shit list for this month: Rambo: First Blood Part II, A View to a Kill, and The Black Cauldron. He loves Cocoon, Ladyhawke, and Return to Oz, and who's to say he's wrong? Not me, 'cause I haven't seen any of those movies.
There's some really corny back-cover copy in one of the ads for books, but I know from experience that writing back-cover copy is the worst, so as a professional courtesy I'm not going to make fun of it. Kind of weird that most of the stories in this issue are SF or horror, but all the ads are for fantasy books.
Halley's Comet fever strikes the classifieds! There's an ad for Halley's Comet, 1910: Fire in the Sky, sort of a historical recreation by Jerred Metz. Also a "HALLEY'S COMET. TIE TAC or Stick Pin. Four color enamel and beautiful." I'm hyping up the Halley's Comet thing because I happen to own a mint in-box Halley's Comet Hot Wheels car the likes of which are currently going on eBay for a measly $5.32 used including shipping. C'mon! This is my nest egg here! I demand... demand!
Sat Feb 21 2015 21:34 Minecraft Archive Project: 201502 Capture:
I've done a new capture of data for the Minecraft Archive Project, my big 2014 project to archive the early history of Minecraft before it disappeared. My goal for the refresh was to capture what has happened in the past year while doing as little work as possible, and I met my goal. The whole thing took about two weeks, and most of that was a matter of letting things run overnight. Most of the actual work was refactoring the code I wrote the first time to make future captures even easier.
Top-line numbers: I've archived another 150 gigabytes of good stuff, including 18k maps and schematics, 1k mods, 11k skins, 7k texture packs (resource packs now, I guess), and 100k screenshots. I was able to archive about 73% of the maps. Four percent of them maps were just gone, and 23% I didn't know how to download.
The 201404 Minecraft Archive Project capture contains data from four sites. The new 201502 capture is limited to two sites: the official Minecraft forum and the huge Planet Minecraft site. I started archiving maps, mods, and textures for Minecraft Pocket Edition, and was able to pick up about 5500 MCPE maps.
Now that I've done this twice without getting into trouble, I'll give a little more detail about the process. I've got scripts that download the archives of the Minecraft forum and Planet Minecraft. I find all the threads/projects modified since the last capture, download the corresponding detail pages (e.g. the first page of a forum thread--I'm only after the original post), and extract all the links.
Then it's a matter of archiving as many of those links as possible. I've written recipes for archiving images and downloads. These six recipes take care of the vast majority of items:
- Two file hosts: Mediafire and Dropbox
- Four image hosts: imgur, Photobucket, TinyPic, and postimage.org
There's also a general catch-all for people who host things on normal home pages, as Tim Berners-Lee intended. If your URL looks like the URL to an image or a binary archive, I will ask for that URL. If you serve me the image or the binary instead of an HTML file telling me to click on something, then I'll archive the file.
I decode most link shorteners except for the ones that make you click through ads, mainly adfoc.us and adf.ly. The 2014 archive had about 18,000 maps behind adf.ly links, and I spent a lot of time running Selenium clients clicking through the ads to discover the Mediafire links. I think that took a month. This time there were about 3000 new maps behind adf.ly links and I just didn't bother.
There are two big blind spots in my dataset, and they're the same as last time. One is mods. A lot of mods are hosted on Github and CurseForge, two big sites I didn't write recipes for. There's also the issue of mod packs, which have been steadily growing in popularity and complexity as development on core Minecraft winds down. Thanks to things like the Hardcore Questing Mod, modpacks are entering the "custom challenge" territory previously occupied solely by world archives.
There are sites that list mod packs (1 2) but I don't want to spend the time figuring out how to archive all the mod packs. There's also the problem that mod packs are huge.
The second blind spot is servers. It's theoretically possible to join a public Minecraft server with a modded client and automatically archive the map, but realistically it ain't gonna happen. I complained about this last time, but now I've done an assessment of what's being lost.
Planet Minecraft has a big server list that mentions the last time it was able to ping any particular server. There doesn't seem to be any purging of dead servers, so I'm able to get good measurements of the typical lifecycle.
Of the 136k servers in the list, 12k are "online" (The most recent Planet Minecraft ping was successful). 51k are "offline" (Most recent Planet Minecraft ping failed, but there was a successful ping less than two weeks
ago) and 73k I declare "dead" (last successful ping was more than two weeks ago).
It seems really weird that of the nearly half of the 'offline' servers went offline in the past two weeks, so something's going on there; maybe Planet Minecraft's ping process is unreliable, or it just takes a long time to check every server, or servers go up and down all the time.
Anyway, the median lifetime for a public Minecraft server is 434 days, a little over a year. These things go online, people do a bunch of work on them, and then they disappear. I've kind of gotten to 'acceptance' on this, but it's still obnoxious.
One final thing: I thought I'd check if I could see the result of Mojang's June announcement of rules for how you can make money by hosting servers (and, more importantly, how you can't). I wanted to see if these rules had a chilling effect on the formation of new servers or caused a lot of old servers to shut down.
And... no, not really. Here's a chart showing two sixty-day periods around June 12, the date of the Mojang blog post. For each day I show 'births' (the number of servers first seen on that day) and 'deaths' (the number of servers last seen on that day). There's a drop-off in new servers around the end of July, but then it picks up again stronger than before. I don't have an explanation for it but I don't think there's anything in here you can pin on a blog post. The Mojang rules were probably intended to go after a small number of large obnoxious servers, and everyone else either doesn't care or flies under the radar.
(Screenshot is from World #57 by Art_Fox. I didn't archive the map because it's behind an adf.ly link, but I got the screenshot.)
PS: Congratulations to Anticraft, the oldest public Minecraft server I could find that's still online, added to Planet Minecraft on February 28, 2011.
Update: I fixed up the adf.ly code and let it run for another two weeks (!), saving another 2000 Minecraft maps and 700 MCPE maps. I probably won't do this again because it's a huge pain, but I said that this time and ended up doing it out of some sense of obligation to the future, so maybe obligation will strike again, who knows.