Fri Jun 30 2006 02:52 more nursing quotes...: Some funny things I've been told since getting into nursing school... "oh yea! you got your welcome to Hell letter!" and a random list of... "You Might Be a Nurse If..." *You can drink a pot of coffee and still go to sleep in the morning. *You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazapam, and Compazine. *Your sense of humor seems to get more warped each year. *You think it is acceptable to use "penis" and "vagina" in a normal conversation. *You hope there´s a special place in Hell for the inventor of the call light. *You believe experience is something you don´t get until just after you need it. *You see stress as a normal way of life. *You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart. *You believe the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. *You´ve ever been telling work stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw-up. *You write a patient report and have to translate it to medical records because of all the acronyms in it. *You notice that you use more four-letter words now than before you became a nurse. *You look in your closet and can´t find anything non-medical to wear. *You´ve ever told anyone in pain to "stop being a baby and deal with it." *You don´t get excited about blood loss unless it´s your own. *You believe the pain will go away when it stops hurting. *Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong and if nothing has gone wrong, you´ve obviously don´t understand the situation. *When you get a call telling you the name of your next admit and you can do the care plan before the patient gets to the floor. *When called for orders, the MD says, "Write them yourself; you know the patient better than I do." *You´ve ever had to contend with someone who thinks constipation for 4 hours is an emergency. *Ever rolled your eyes when the 14 year-old says, "No, I´ve never had sex." *You refer to motorcycles as donor cycles. *You´ve ever held a 14-gauge needle over someone´s vein and said, "Now your going to feel a little stick." *You´ve ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I´m afraid of shots." *You´ve ever thought, "As long as he´s got a pulse, I don´t care about the rhythm." *You think the ultimate cruel joke is get someone drunk, take them to the ER and tell them he OD´d on "some kind of pills." *You automatically multiply by three the number of drinks a patient claims to have daily. *You don´t believe 90% of what you´re told, and 75% of what you see. *You believe a book entitled "Suicide: Getting it Right the First Time" will be your next project. *You have ever had a patient say, "I´m not pregnant, I can´t be pregnant! I can´t be having a baby!"