Sunny 9 for 2007 September 13 (entry 0)

(4) Thu Sep 13 2007 22:27 Gah: Is all I have to say about this week. Sometimes I swear Lily thinks in her head "what would make my mom the maddest?" and then she does it. I think because she has a runny nose is the reason she is being extra naughty this week. Yesterday, halfway through the day she was still peeing in her training pants and after she wet them at the gym I just thought forget it. Maybe again in a couple months, but I think I did my part trying it out. Now I know she is not ready. I mean other than the 0.3 time she peed in the toilet, that was it. Do you know how much a person pees a day? That was how many wet clothes I went through. I think I have had enough torture. (And potty training is not what I am calling Lily being naughty. She has been extra abusive to her brother, and that is what I am referring to when I say naughty, but that on top of the stress of having to ask and sit her on the potty all day long.)

Today Lily got into my closet and she got on top of the dressers that I have in there and dumped everything on the floor and took off every single belt on the holder there was. Seeing it all on the floor, Aaron and I have a lot of belts put together. I feel so guilty because it's the same thing everyday. She wants to play with the Playdoh but I don't want to get it out because it makes such a mess. Then she wants to do all these puzzles, but I don't want to get them out unless I have a certain amount of time devoted just to her and helping her do them and taking them right back to the closet where they go, or they get strewn everywhere and I end up putting together 32 zoo animal/abc's puzzles. What a mean mommy I am. It's not to say I don't let her play with those things but sometimes I just get really tired of picking up after 4 people (me and my 3 kids 2 kids and husband).

But I am writing this down by some small chance I go back reading through this again and I might be having a bad day and hopefully it might cheer me up. My dirty room and messy kitchen had been nagging at me today and I wanted to start cleaning since I just put Gunnar down for a nap but Lily asked me to read her books. I thought to myself I better do this because when your daughter is begging you to "hold me like a baby" they probably want your attention. I sat Lily down by me and gave her a squeeze and she said "Mama, I wuv you. Oh, you're so cute. You're my little sweetie pie." It doesn't matter that she stole those lines from me, it is still adorable. And maybe she does like me and doesn't try to torture me. Maybe I will let her live to see another day.

Comments:

Posted by Jenni at Thu Sep 13 2007 23:18

Ah, Kristen, you are a great mom! I know we are the hardest on ourselves as mommys...I can assure you that you are not alone in this thinking! One day we'll all look back on the early years of our kid's lives and laugh heavily---all those colored walls and floors, all the dumped out dressers, all the peed-on clothing...hahahahahahahahhahaha...that's me starting to laugh now (trying to at least!) =)

Posted by Aaron at Fri Sep 14 2007 08:18

RUDE! >:(

Posted by Susie at Fri Sep 14 2007 11:54

I feel like I am ignoring Maggie like that sometimes too. Oh, I don't want to get out a book and read to her when she'll just want to dump it on the floor or eat the pages.

Posted by alyson at Sat Sep 15 2007 11:52

Poor mommy. You know, sis, I went to therapy over this same suspicion: "what will make my mom mad and destroy her chances for happiness." What a rotten feeling. *hugs*