Bad Stupid Delerious
Lyric Sheet


New and Improv-ed

Why don't you write
Something addictive, like crack or cocaine or something?
Why don't you write
Something we can sell to the kids, like crack or cocaine or something?
We know you have no principles
We know you have no principal
Why don't you write
Something addictive that we can sell to the kids or something?


Beef

Intro/First Part/Outro:
1:-9--------9------------ 3x
2:----9-8------9-8-9-8---
3:---------------------8-

1:-11--11h13-13-------9--9h11-11---
2:--------------11---------------9-
3:---------------------------------

Second Part: C5 G5  C5 G5  C5 G5 G#5

Some how no
thing satis
fies like beef

Some how no
thing satis
fies like beef

Some how no
thing satis
fies like beef

Beef pilaf
mush room beef
and pot roast

Some how no
thing satis
fies like beef

Stro ganoff
Ham burger
Beef jerky

Some how no
thing satis
fies like beef

Beef for me
And beef for you
Beef for everyone around the world

Beef for you
And beef for me
Beef for that other guy across the street

Beef for me
And none for you
Soon all the beef on earth will be mine

And you will die
Mr. Bond
And I will control the world's beef supply


Epoxy Sunrise

E            A        D           A       E     A       D A
One of these days I'm gonna wake up to an epoxy sunrise
With a bad taste in my mouth that swallowing won't get rid of
And everywhere I try to go, the sun will pursue me
Until I'm hiding in shadowy corners and screaming afraid of a snowflake

Chorus:
G               A               G                 A
Once that epoxy sun rises, it's gonna stick there to the sky
G                     A              D         D     A
Nothing can budge the epoxy sun so I dread the epoxy sunrise

And one of these days I'm gonna wake up and you're not gonna be there
As a matter of fact it happened today and the day before that and
D     A         E 
Every day of my life
And I'm kicking and squealing like Wil E. Coyote caught under an anvil
And I forgot where I hid my medication today
I forgot where I hid my medication today

Chorus

Repeat 1st verse
Repeat "Hiding in shadowy corners..." a couple times.


Memorial To Pedro's Demands

Intro/Verse
4:----------------14-14-14-12-12-12-12-
5:-14-14-14-12-12-12-12-12-12-12-12-12- 
6:-12-12-12-12-12----------------------

Chorus:
B5 G5 D5 (4x)
A5 F5 E5
G5 A5 (2x)

I was born in a house my father built
Soon after that the house collapsed
Poor Dad never learned another trade
Our family was always very poor

I don't want to hear you whining
I don't want to hear you scream
I don't want to hear you crying
This is gonna hurt you
More than it hurts me, yeah
Me, yeah

I was raised in a house my mother built
Soon after that I collapsed
Perception was never my strong suit
I was a weakly interacting particle

I don't want to hear you whining
I don't want to hear you scream
That's why I'm putting this cotton in my ears
This is gonna hurt you
More than it hurts me, yeah
Me, yeah

A cat and a burlap sack to keep it in
Chalk and diamonds, don't ask why
Seven metronomes going at once
A little aristocracy all my own

I don't want to hear you whining
I don't want to hear you scream
As if right now I could hear anything
This is gonna hurt you
More than it hurts me, yeah
Burning the family tree, yeah
Killed in a house of my own design
No need to write 'cause everything's fine


Dear Life In These United States

[By crupper scupper supper upper and the flupperdupper maleatora]

Soft verse: 6:-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-
Loud verse: G5 x x x G5 x G5/A5 A5 x x x A5 x A5/G5
Between-verse filler: D5 557775, D5 557779
Ending: D5 A5 C5 G5

Dear Life in These United States
I brush my teeth with human waste
I'm nine feet tall, weigh 108
And I feel great
Honest injun

Humor in Uniform, fancy this
I got one of them pilinoidial cysts
Sarge fixed with his own two fists
Just gave it a twist
I'm fine

Notable Quotables, listen here
Life's too cheap to drink short beer
Got that plastered to the rear
My noble steer
Ranchero

Laughter's the Best Medicine
I should know, just ask my friend
Laughed so hard he got the bends
Got sick again
Passed on

Dear editor, I got a questy-ine
If G.I. Joe met Optimus Prime
Who would win, and how, and why?

Enquiring minds want to know
Readers Digest, I love you so
Condense the facts I need to know
'Cause life is fast and I read slow
Help me grow
With knowledge


Techno Schmeckno mit DJ Generik

DJ Generik in full effect
Drop some Prozac, what the heck
The beat is wild, the notes are few
The lyrics are poorly composed

Everybody shake my booty

No other DJ can compare
He's got really cool hair
Spinning the music so sublime
He speaks in the third person all the time

Pay at the second window

Generik's beat sweeps the land
People stop to shake his hand
I know you are, but what am I?
Shoot me now and let me die

Shut off your higher functions and dance


Gingerale

Intro:
4:-------------------5--5-3-
5:-----1--4--4-4-3-1--------
6:-0-2----------------------

Rest of Song: A C xxx565 xx5588

They all think you're happy
As long as you're fed
And everyone thinks you've
Got rocks in your head
And everyone thinks you'd
Be better off dead
Well what can I say I
Agree with them
What can I say I
Agree with them
What can I say I
Agree with them
What can I say I
Agree with them


Just To Hear Him Sing

Intro/Verse:

4-------2-4-2--------2-4-2--------2-4-2---------
5-0-234-0------0-234-0------0-234-0-----4-2-0-2-
6---------------------------------------------0-

3-------------------2-2-2--2------------------
4-------2-4-2-------4-4-0----4-2-24-2---------
5-0-234-0-----0-234-------------------4-2-0-0-
6---------------------------------------------

Chorus:
2-------------3-2----------------------------------------
3-----------2-----4h2-2---2-4--4-4-----------------------
4-------0-4-----------0------------2-2-2-4-5-542---------
5-0-2-4------------------------------------------4-2-0-4-
6--------------------------------------------------------

2-------------3-2------------------------2-2-
3-----------2-----4h2-2---2-4--4-4-4-4-4-0-0-
4-------0-4-----------0---0-0--0-0-0-0-0-----
5-0-2-4--------------------------------------
6--------------------------------------------

End of song:
1---------------------------------------------------------
2--------------------------------5------------------------
3-----------2-4-5--5-4-542-2-4-5---5-4-2------------------
4-2--24-2-4------------------------------4-2--2-4-2-------
5---------------------------------------------------4-2-0-
6---------------------------------------------------------

1-----------------------------------9-8-
2----------------2-2-5-5-7-7-8-8-9--9-8-
3----------------2-2-5-5-7-7-8-8-9--9-8-
4----------------2-2-5-5-7-7-8-8-9--9-8-
5-2--2-4-2------------------------------
6----------4-2-0------------------------

Gonna have some fun tonight
Gonna have some fun tonight
We're gonna sit and stare at the TV
Gonna have some fun, all right
There it is in black and white
The Honeymooners and I Love Lucy

Gonna have some fun tonight
We're gonna Wayne Chung tonight
We're gonna sit and stare at the TV
Gonna have some fun, all right
We're gonna watch Nick at Nite
And we're gonna like what we see

Chorus:
Every day it's the same old thing
Those same stupid songs he always plays
He says people will pay just to hear him sing
But I don't believe him anyway

We're gonna chow down tonight
We're gonna chow down tonight
We're gonna say huh and yummy in the tummy
Then after the dinner's done
We're really gonna have some fun
When we sit and stare at the TV

Chorus

Nobody ever calls
And if he needs us at all
We're gonna be in the living room watching Wings
He's got his heart on his sleeve
But I just don't believe
That people would pay just to hear him sing


Spunk

Intro: D A
       A D A
       A A7 Asus2 A7 D A

D
Hey Marie, did you hear?
G                D
Lisa got elected queen this year
D
She cut off her rival's head
G               D
Feeds us cake instead of bread

Chorus:
         D5 C5 B5
It takes guts!
         E5 F5 F#5
It takes spirit!
         D5 C5 B5 A#5 A5       
It takes spunk!
It takes guts!
It takes spirit!
It takes spunk!

D5                      C#5
I've got spunk, you bet!
D5                      D5
You've got spunk, I bet!
C#5                     C#5
I've got spunk, you bet!
D5
You've got spunk, I bet!

Verse Outro: 
C#5 D5 C5 B5 A#5 A5

D5
Freddy Brown, senior class
E5m                D5
Caught the winning touchdown pass
D5
Poor ol' Fred was always hated
E5m             D5
'Cause we never integrated

DeGrassi will forever be
Emblazoned on my memory
When the principal was out of town
We burned the whole darn school down


Uncle Billy Hippy Bob

Hey kids, SHUT UP and let your Uncle Billy Hippy Bob tell you a story!

Ssh! Ssh!

Ya see, one fine day many years ago, ol' Uncle Billy Hippy Bob was
droppin' acid on the north forty, yes sir.  And Jiminy Cricket if a
great big guppy didn't swim right up and try to swaller me whole!  And
kids, when I say big, I mean hoo-mong-us!  Why, I dare say it were big
as the ol' water tower downtown, a course at the time they hadn't
built it yet.

Shucks, Uncle Billy Hippy Bob, I reckon it grow a foot every time
you tell the story!

And I reckon you best shut yer fat mouth, Gunther, afore I smack you
upside the head!

I thought you was a pacifist, Uncle Billy Hippy Bob!

Iffen you don't button yer lip right now this minute I'll show you
how much of a pacifist I am! Now where was I?

The guppy!

Guppy?  I don't 'member no guppy!  You kids been into my stash?  Now
as I recall I was explainin' the facts of life to ya.  So about that
time yer aunt Mabel's contractions were three minutes apart, or twenty
seconds, or something, I wasn't keeping track on account I was so
relieved I didn't havta perform a see-section a 'cause all I had was
the pruning shears.  An' so I tole her ta push, and she pushed, an' I
saw the head and Jiminy Cricket if yer cousin weren't a mullatter.
Well, it was about that time I found out yer aunt Mabel was black.
A'course, when the neighbors found out they made us move to Maine
where such things was legal at the time, they not being legal in
Alabama at the time on account of the Fascist Pigs.

Is you a Fascist Pig, Uncle Billy Hippy Bob?

Darn tootin', Betty Sue. 


Novelty Act

C5 A5 G5

Write me a dirty haiku
Make me perfume 
Give me a midget who whistles
I'm bored
I'm bored

Chorus:
Variety's the only spice
Anticipation smothers choice
I'm immune to everything
Got a vitamin deficiency

Don't do it like that (I'm bored)
Don't want to like that (I'm bored)
Sell me the the deed to a bridge
Make me a sound
Give me profane and profound
I'm bored
I'm bored

Chorus

I'm bored
I'm bored
I'm bored
I'm bored


Latest

Verse: Bb5 G5 F5
Bridge: B5 G5 B5 C5
Solo: Bb5 G5 Gb5 G5 F5 Gb5 F5

Lyrics:
It says it right there
Quite clearly
Make sure you're up
Bright and early
The rest of the guys are ready
And they're waiting
They're waiting in the car

There's not enough time to waste it
There aren't enough hours in the day
To say everything they wanna say
They'd like to try it anyway
They're waiting in the car

Bridge:
You've got no pulse, you loser
They're gonna go camping without you
You thought you'd be a big man
But your temperature's the only cool thing about you

Eventually they
Go and knock
You were the first one
On your block
Danger: risk of electric shock
They're waiting in the car
You're later than they are

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, August 18 2007, 22:52:08 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Wednesday, November 26 2014, 05:00:01 Nowhere Standard Time.

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