version 1.1.2pl14
Lyric Sheet

Sweet Emulsion

Sweet emulsion
Sweet emulsion
Heart's revulsion
Sweet emulsion

Doot doot doot da doot do do
Doot da doot doot doot da do

Leonard Shot Everyone Down

[Redacted.]

Sprinklers, Man

Sprinklers, man! It's repression, man! Just another tool of the establishment, just to bring us down! They say we gotta use them, but who are they? Well, they wanna control us, with their sprinklers, well not me man, 'cause I ain't usin' one, and lemme—

Well, these are cool! I mean, I'd use them! I mean, you know I like 'em, I'd use 'em all the time!

Thank you! Thank you, Mr. Sprink—

Mark Gave a Monkey Acid

Mark gave a monkey acid
Mark gave a monkey acid
Mark gave Dr. Zaius acid

Mark gave a monkey Internet access
Mark gave a monkey Internet access
Mark gave Dr. Zaius Internet access

Mark gave a monkey potato chips
Mark gave a monkey potato chips
Mark gave Dr. Zaius potato chips

Royal Jelly

Who, who, who, who's been into my royal jelly?
Who, who, who, who's stealing my ginkgo biloba?
Who, who, who took all my iron and Vitamin C?
Gee, I guess it was me
Even though I don't remember
'Cause my urine is orange and worth
Five dollars an ounce at the recycling center

Who, who, who, who is stealing my enriched bee pollen?
Who, who, who, who is robbing me of my shark cartilage?
I, I, I haven't seen my St. John's Wort for a while
What happened to my ox bile?
Can't find my grape peel either
You'd think if you left corn husk suppositories
On the shelf in an hour they'd still be there

Who, who, who, who's been eating my crushed up bee guts?
Who, who, who, who's been taking my maitake mushrooms?
Who, who, who, stole my bucket of spirulina?
They must have snuck in during Xena
When I wasn't paying attention
But they took my ginseng and my DHEA
And lots of other stuff I could mention

Urban Creation Myth

When the world was young
And the first building sprung
Into the noontime sun
I saw you naked,
It was the day you were born
And I couldn't help but remark on your form

Fully-grown we were
We saw trees spring
Through the concrete the way weeds do today
Everything was better then, we breathed pressure cooker oxygen
The speed of light was fantastic and the rocks were elastic

Urban creation myth
This belongs to someone else
Urban creation myth
This did not come out of my head

You know it never rained til the big flood came
And scoured the city clean
I was amazed to see the buildings razed
And buried underneath the sea

To get out of the rain we borrowed a plane
And took our pets on board
I was surprised to see the buildings rise
Back up to the way they were before

You know we wrote it all down just the way it happened
So that others would know exactly what we saw
And along the line it may have been messed with
But the point is, it was true when we said it

And I just don't see why you're complaining
When what you've got is nowhere as good as this
It conforms with what we wrote to describe it
So long as you kind of squint

This is our urban creation myth and it
Happened just the way that it says
Except for the parts that don't make sense
Which happened in some other way

Hungry Goriya

Hungry Goriya
Grumble grumble
Yummy Asian noodle
Mr. Noodle

FEEDBACK FEEDBACK FEEDBACK

[Mega-redacted.]

Interesting Places To Die

I'm making a list
Of interesting places to die
And by the time the day is done I hope to try
Each and every single one

I'm having a blast
Eating strychnine out of your hand
But able I will never be to understand
What it is you see in me

And every time I close my eyes
I wonder why I closed my eyes
It only helps me concentrate on you
Another day, another time
Another interesting place to die
One last inspiring last view

I'm making a list
Of interesting places to die
And by the time the day is done I hope to try
Each and every single one

Liza Dei

This is a pack of lies!
I'm down to one pack of lies a day
Try this on for size
It don't work but it fits okay
When I realize
I've said all I'm gonna say
I look into her eyes
The eyes of Liza Dei

This is a load of bull!
I'm loading bull at the loading dock
Returning the things I stole
One by one to reduce the shock
When you've been swallowed whole
Come on in, there's no need to knock
If you're feeling full
Watch the hands of the crazy clock

She and I are really tight
By the light of a sattelite
That's really outa site
But it won't help you get it right

This is a pack of lies!
This is a load of bull!
Try this on for size
Returning the things I stole
When I realize
When you've been swallowed whole
I look into her eyes
If you're feeling full

I'm down to one pack of lies a day
I'm loading bull at the loading dock
It don't work but it fits okay
One by one to reduce the shock
I've said all I'm gonna say
Come on in, there's no need to knock
The eyes of Liza Dei
Watch the hands of the crazy clock

I don't know why I believe this
I don't know why I behave this
I don't know what makes me feel this way
I'm down to one pack of lies a day

Theme and Fantasia on "Popeye the Sailor Man"

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
I'm strong to the finish when I eats me spinach
I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
I live in the garbage can
I like to go swimmin' with bare-naked women
I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

If anyone dasses to risk me fisks
It's bop and it's wham understand
So keep good behavior, it's your one life-saver
With Popeye the Sailor Man


This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, August 18 2007, 15:30:25 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Monday, September 22 2014, 06:00:08 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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