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: KSUM: This morning, during the KQED pledge drive, I heard that they were giving away Salon Premium memberships. (I'd heard rumblings of this a few days ago at work.) Then I heard that another pledge thank-you gift was a gift certificate for Planet Organics, which I also patronize. Guesses for next incredibly Sumana-targeted premiums: date with Josh Kornbluth, dinner at Herbivore (the vegan restaurant on Valencia), the entire oeuvre of Gordon Korman, a donation in my name to the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a BART Plus ticket....


: Useful Glossaries: VerticalResponse has put up simple glossaries for direct marketers (shiver) who use email and physical mail.


: Table Talk: I have to monitor bits of Salon's forum, Table Talk, to see whether people are stupidly complaining about Salon Premium there instead of, say, emailing for help. There are forums where people aren't stupid. In the "Families Who Think" section, the best is the Word Soundbite Of The Day thread, where people share cute things their kids have said.

In "Work Life" we see "True Tales of the Office" and stories of odd coworkers. And in "Private Life" we see the awesome thread of "Misinformation, mistakes and bizarre misunderstandings".

Unfortunately, any given forum online will eventually, probably, suck. And this is true of Table Talk as well. One thread used to be fine in its stated mission of discussing the Fox TV show "House" but then descended into Television-Without-Pity-esque sniping over the female characters on the show. The thread on "Arrested Development" is headed in that direction.

And then there are jerks who comment on Cary Tennis's advice column. Some of them are nice, but the jerks ruin it, as usual. They almost universally castigate the advice-requester for being imperfect and weak, for not constantly self-flagellating in penance for her crimes (but if she does, what a martyr-wannabe!), for not "Setting Boundaries", whatever. Nope, there aren't real people behind these letters, not at all! They just exist for my amusement, like novels! Fiction, really!

Every once in a while the letter-writer will actually post within the forum. Then sometimes the jerks soften their tune, but of course there will be some intolerant ass who doesn't, just to show the letter-writer how wrong he is, how stupid and selfish and racist and intolerant -- you dare to exist?! to think you deserve my approval?

The letter-writer usually isn't seeking approval. She acknowledges that she has a problem and is seeking help for it. But the jerks ignore the admirable metacognition and help-seeking behavior, and harp on the problem as indicative of moral weakness.

Lots of comments sections all around the Internet fall into the abyss. They fall faster if they are free, if reputations don't persist, if there's no moderator. But people pay to join TT, and there's moderation that stops people from libeling each other, and people's pseudonyms and reputations persist. And the people who run it care, and have clueful FAQs and community standards. And still the stupidity roams. It's everywhere.


: Compare and Comedicize: Josh Kornbluth is improvising his way towards a new monologue this Saturday. Perhaps you'd like to watch with me?

Heather Gold is also developing a new piece. I hope it's about law school!

As usual, Will Franken tops other comics:

Thursday, Sept. 22 - The Purple Onion

Headlining with guests Jacob and Sherrie Sirof and friend from Canada whose name we can't say due to legal issues


: Considering Trek: We had a boring assembly a few weeks before the eighth-grade graduation ceremony. The ceremony was probably the week after the last episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. A teacher passed around a clipboard upon which we wrote our full names as we wanted them laser-printed on our diplomas. In a fit of whimsy I put down my middle initial as Q (which it's not). In Trek, Q is omnipotent. My adolescent feelings of powerlessness - ridiculously transparent.

At graduation we had a "Reader's Theater" where all thirty graduates could say a few words. I think they played a Garth Brooks song about a river and a journey. We all held roses in little water-filled plastic cylinders with green rubber gaskets.

I don't remember what I said. Given that I then had an obsession with clever analogies (another reason I loved Snow Crash), it may have been, "Life is like a math book. Some of the answers you get at the end, but some you have to figure out for yourself."

Another Trek fan at school, one of the people who were the closest thing I had to a friend, took my suggestion and Q's words from the final episode. He came up last in the Reader's Theater and said, "All good things must come to an end."

On the way home my parents discovered the Q on my diploma. They were kind of upset and worried that this would harm me in some unspecified way. It hasn't.



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Cogito, Ergo Sumana by Sumana Harihareswara is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available by emailing the author at sumanah@panix.com.