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: Today we ran out of plastic wrap. This means that, since the beginning of the school year, my sundry roommates and I have used one hundred square feet of plastic wrap. That is a lot of plastic wrap.

    I am sick on account of not cooking my cinnamon rolls enough. It is not good.

    Adam has a website now. It is http://fire.csua.ucla.edu/~kaplan/.

: I put up a bunch of pictures I took in the CSUA lounge with the videocamera and with the SGI digital camera. They're on my CSUA page.

: Nyeh heh heh. I got a roomate for summer. His name is Todd. He seems pretty cool.

    I wrote a song about CS180. It bears an uncanny resemblance to a song Frank Zappa wrote called Penis Dimension.

: Hey hey hey, another roommate coming my way. At this rate I'll actually make money this summer instead of losing it.

    Jake said he'd have tape for me by Friday's Electronics. But it ain't so. His mailserver seems to be down too. Oh darn. You should have seen me earlier. Man, I want those tapes.

    I'm wearing an old shirt my mom gave me. I think she got it from my uncle Leonard. It has a weird acrylic portrait of a man who is allegedly President Clinton. That's why I think she got it from my namesake uncle, because said uncle is some kind of campaign organizer for the Democrats. He's got signed thank-you notes from the prez on his fridge, for his help in the 1992 and 1996 elections. You wouldn't know it was President Clinton on the shirt unless someone told you, though. Most of his face is shadowed.

    I put up a leonardr directory called Strictly Leonard which will contain some LYH functionality. Still thinking about design.

Later: I'm reading a book I borrowed from Omar. It's called Mathematical Recreations And Essays. I'm hoping it'll help me with CS180. But it's weird. It's a British book, published in 1987. But the conventions are not conventions I've ever seen, even in British books. For instance: What is used as the symbol for the decimal point is the symbol for multiplication or ANDing, and vice versa. In large numbers, commas are only placed every five decimal places. And rather than have numeric footnotes like ordinary decent God-fearing books, it has weird shape footnotes that start over on ever page. It is weird weird weird.

Later still: Hehe. The guy from Music From the Hutts of Space (as Andy and I used to call it, and still do, I guess, also use the MST3K-parody name Music From Some Guys In Space) just said something funny. It's too complicated to explain, though. You had to be there. As Adam says, it was funny by inspection, not by definition.

: I have a pair of sunglasses that I wear in the sun because I don't like the sun. Yesterday I had to wear them in the shower because of the unfortunate layout of our bathroom. I've had them for a long time. Much longer than I've had any other pair of sunglasses. I usually lose sunglasses in the space of three months. And I've had them for so long that I've lost both the screws that hold the earpieces to the nosepiece. The first screw I lost I replaced with a safety pin. It looked kind of dumb because it was a baby diaper safty pin of the type I use to keep my socks in pairs. It looked like I was trying to make a statement or something. Then recently I lost the second screw. So I gave it another safety pin and I changed the safety pins to plain metal ones. Now it looks better. It would look even better if I used those tiny safety pins instead of the big ones. But I think it's about time for new sunglasses, don't you? Perhaps a pair that recaptures the glory of the mind-control sunglasses of old.

    Apart from finals, school is officially over. Of course, nobody pays any attention to this little tidbit. I still have homework and projects due. The last week is called "dead week" because you're not supposed to have lectures unless it's review, but that's not what actually happens. But I don't have as much homework due as I have in the past. No CS180 homework, for instance. Just Math 31 homework and CS51A homework and a Math 31 lab. I might try to redo my third CS51A project now that I know how to actually do it.

    Here is my finals schedule:

CS51A:Monday 6/15 8-11 AM
Math 31C:Monday 6/15 11:30 AM-2:30 PM
Philosophy 21:Wednesday 6/17 8-11 AM
CS180:Friday 6/19 8-11 AM

    So, not as bad as might be expected. Just those two finals right next to each other on Monday, but it shouldn't be too tough. I've got all week to study for CS180.

    Today I'm wearing my Dweebspeak Primer shirt. I don't know why this is turning into the What Shirt Leonard Is Wearing Today Page, which would really be a stupid use of the Web, but I've got a lot of cool shirts. Which reminds me, I need to do something about Crummy Online Odd T-Shirts. Something I've been meaning to do for a while.

: I got mentioned in the DSP again today, for coming up with the name "Papa Scot's Gatespeak Primer" to describe this. Woo-hoo.

    Jake wanted my address today. I hope I sent it to him in time. This means tapes for me. I wonder if he sent me Jer's tapes as well as his tape and his tape of stuff he wants me to listen to. Maybe I should ask him via email instead of posing the question on the Web. Push does have its advantages, you know.

: Oh yeah, Peter and I got our grant. It's $1000 which will hopefully be tripled by work-study next quarter. Woo hoo I say.

    Even the mighty BBC is not free from typos on Web pages. Go to here to see those zany Brits use "flower" instead of "flour". Prince Charles is full of it. I'm sorry, he shouldn't be in any kind of position of power. Dismantle the House of Lords while you're at it (nobody knew he was from the House of Lords). Down with the royals!

Later: More newshub stuff. The headline for this piece is "Parks Against New Kenniwick Law". You'd think it'd be about a place called New Kenniwick which passed a law that inadvertantly banned parks. But it's not. It's about the National Park Service speaking out against a law that will allow a 9200-year-old specimen called Kenniwick Man to be examined despite the objections of Native American groups who claim Kenniwick Man as an ancestor despite the lack of any evidence for this claim. It burns my toast, both the objections and the ambiguity of the headline.

    The survey is not turning out the way I thought it would. Of four responses, only Joe Barr has given an answer analagous to mine. Oh well.

: I'm sorry you have to die but we all have to die.

    Well, in half an hour I need to go to a CS51A review. Whee. I am rapidly approaching the end of my second year of college. Whee again.

    Here I am today: CrotchCam, FaceCam, and PeekabooCam.

    I was on the recieving end of another tract attack today. I haven't really looked at it but I plan to. It's called How Can I Go To Heaven?. I've just cast a cursory glance at it and the author doesn't seem to understand that the people he wants to convert don't already share his worldview. I don't understand why religious people don't get this. If I want to get someone to use Linux I don't say, "Well, Linux Journal reccommends that you use Linux." or "Well, the LinuxStone benchmark gives Linux alone a perfect score of 1.0." or "Well, most of the people on slashdot.org use Linux." It just doesn't work that way.

    I also don't think religious people have really thought about what heaven entails. Can you think of anything you like doing so much that you would never get bored doing it? The key word is never. We are not talking about some place you go for a couple billion years and have some fun and then you're done. You're stuck there forever.

    My claim, based on observation, is that when you die, that's it. Is that really so bad?

    Think of the alternative.

: Ah, the last day of class.


    Compaq bought us out. We said we wouldn't change. But you didn't believe us. You said we'd become NT whores. You said we'd fire all our competent engineers. You said we'd kill the Alpha.

    We ran ads in trade magazines trying to convince you. But you wouldn't believe us. So we're just going ahead and doing all the stuff you said we'd be doing anyway. We might as well, right?

: I was thinking about the Digital thing I did yesterday. I said some things that were inaccurate. Inaccurate in the sense that they have been officially denied. For all I know Compaq is going to kill the Alpha. I don't trust them. But I don't think it's fair for me to do something like that just in case they really want to do something useful with their acquisition rather than just run good technology into the ground. So I'm sorry.

    But it goes further than that. How many times do we stretch the truth to make a rhetorical point? How often do we willingly use old data or ambiguous remarks to suit our own purposes? It makes me uncomfortable that I did it, but at least I caught myself.

    I don't like this. I just read that Compaq was firing people and I extrapolated a bunch of stuff from that and my own prejudices. Am I willing to sacrifice accuracy and fairness for a laugh? I don't think so, at least not unless it's really, really good. So I'll wait until Compaq begins twisting Digital technology to its own evil ends before doing something like that again.

    Anyway, Adam came over and gave me some of the tapes he's making of the records I've gathered from Goodwills and Rhino Records sidewalk sales. He gave me Switched-On Bach I and II, by Walter Carlos [Walter], whom Jake says is now a transsexual; Play Bach vol. 4 by the Jacque Loussier Trio, which is Bach played in jazz style; and a collection of Barbershop Ballads sung by the world famous Sportsman Quartet. I was hoping for my PDQ Bach album and Zappa's Sheik Yerbouti but no joy, as Jerry Pournelle would say.

    SOB1 has an awesome version of Wachet Auf (Sleepers Awake), which is my all-time favorite Bach piece right now, even more so than Jesu, Joy Of Man's Desiring. It's such a catchy tune. Here, have a MIDI. There's a version of it on Play Bach as well, but I haven't gotten to that yet.

    I dub this week the week of new tapes (actually, the week starting tomorrow is the week I dub that, but who cares?). I should be getting Jake's tapes any day now, and Jer's tapes a while after that. Tapes, tapes, tapes. Whee!

    LJ is having a barbecue next Sunday. I wanna go. So I probably will, rather than spend that weekend in Bakersfield. I can go home the weekend after. Mmm, a barbecue. I didn't go last time but apparantly there was food aplenty.

    Man, Adam even printed out little track lists that fit in the cassette holder. What a guy. All must bow before his might.

Later: ALL RIGHT! YEAH! WOO! I just discovered that we get the Sci-Fi Channel! MST3K!!!!!! WOO! WOO! WOO! We don't even have cable! Free Sci-Fi Channel! WOO! WOO! MST3K! WOO! It's on right now! WOO! WOO! WOO! MST3K!

    It's channel 53. You don't care, but I want that written down so I don't forget.

    We didn't used to get all these channels. We might be getting the scraps of someone else's private broadcast or something. But I'm not complaining. MST3K! WOO! Gotta go, the commercials are almost over.

Later still: Urban legend has it that grapefruit juice contains a chemical that intensifies the effects of caffeine, so I went and bought a bottle of it at Breadstiks, the stupidly-named local grocery store. I'm such a junkie.

    My dad used to eat half a grapefruit every day at breakfast. We had a couple of special spoons just for grapefruit, they had ridges on the edges for scooping out the fruit. He tried to get me into eating grapefruit for breakfast, but I didn't like it. I still don't. Man, that stuff is bitter, even watered down with Mountain Dew rip-off.

    I also got In-N-Out. There is a disturbing rumor going around that the people who run In-N-Out are big donators to the radical religious right; if it's true, we may have to go into boycott mode. I told Adam this and he said "Bad news for our taste buds, dude.". Indeed. I know they're fanatical Christians--they have Bible references printed on the bottoms of all their cups--but I can deal with that. It's the alleged political contributions I don't approve of.

: Finals are tomorrow. I think I'll be ready by then. I made some minor changes to Crummy.

: Man, that grapefruit juice works like a charm! I didn't get tired at all last night. I just made myself get a couple hours of sleep so I wouldn't fall asleep during finals. Unfortunately, I have no way of telling whether it's really the grapefruit juice or merely a placebo effect. However, since my goal is to get awakedness by hook or by crook, not to formally evaluate the effects of grapefruit juice and caffeine on the central nervous system, I don't care.

    Today I have CS51A at 8AM and Math 31C at 11:30AM. Then I've got to get cracking on philosophy. I'm working on my cheat sheet for CS51A. I've only used about 1/4 my allotted space, so I'll probably put some examples of flip-flop problems on the sheet. I think today's finals will be easy, but I'm nervous anyway.

Later: I told Lisa from Sun about the Java reference in last week's MST3K (there was a pigeon pecking buttons on a wall and Crow said (as the pigeon) "I'm programming a Java applet here."). She [Lisa] was VASTLY amused. Gloat, gloat. I don't know why I'm gloating over knowing a marketing person.

    Man, the gods of butt-kicking are fickle. In the morning, I kicked the butt of my CS51A final. But in the afternoon, the tables were turned, and my butt was kicked by the Math 31C final. Argh.

Later still: Agh. On Switched-On Bach II there is the Musette in D Major and the Minuet in G Major and tbe Marche in D Major from the Anna Magdalena Notebook, and they scare me. They scare me because I had to learn them in piano lessons when I was little. I didn't even recognize it as Bach. I thought Mozart wrote them. I tend to blame Mozart for all classical music I don't like, especially that which I had to learn in piano lessons.

: Politically Delicious


    First the Elvis stamp, and now this.

    Oh my goodness. I forgot it was Bloomsday.

    If only Berkeley had known about proof by induction.

    Today is the day of one-sentence paragraphs.

: The tables of butt-kicking have turned. I kicked the butt of my philosophy midterm. Now I just have to study for CS180.

    Ha ha, I have defined a mighty emacs macro to do the non-binding spaces thing. Emacs, Emacs, Emacs.

    Every time I listen to Zappa I gain more and more respect for his genius. Have I aligned with a blown mind? Wasted my time on a drawn blind? Andy!

: I took out my rant about the yelling guy because, like most stuff one writes at midnight, it was really incoherent. More later, I'm at work right now. I got the nameserver and everything to work, so I'm typing this on gogol from a telnet session from groucho.

Later: Michael Yount expressed his disappointment at the absence of my yelling-guy rant. I may put it back up eventually.

    I finally got my tapes from Jake. Awesome is all I can say. Especially the mighty mighty cover of The Chickadee, which he turned into a Lutheran humn, and Butterfly. My demon Lucille Ball bit got sampled in Check Yourself (For Ticks). The so-called "Booty Tape 2" is also cool. Jer's tapes coming soon, again [the world] according to Jake.

    I begin work again. I don't have summer school until next week, though.

: Adam's Web writing makes me laugh. "Actually, I am kidding." just cracks me up. I don't know why. You probably have to know Adam. It's funny by inspection, not by definition.

    I'm now locally on gogol. It's just like telnetting in. I can't get over how cool that is.

: Yesterday was movie night. Adam brought over Barton Fink. Pretty good movie, even though Steve Buscemi only had a minor role. Steve says: "Nyeh heh heh. Catch me in Armageddon. I'm doing it for the money." Speaking of which, a while back the building in which I work was turned into a giant ad for Armageddon. They hung a big sheet over the building to make it look like a hole had been punched through it by an asteroid. I have a picture somewhere on my hard drive, I'll put it up if and when I find it.

    I just remembered something today. I'm almost 19. If I were still a Mormon it would be almost time for me to go and proselytize for two years. But I'm not, so I don't have to. This makes me happy.

    Here is my smiley face. :)

: Man, you have to check this site out: Astronomy Picture of the Day. Even better than Today's Space Weather. It has lots of links and such.

    I think this should provide some historical perspective on Microsoft's usage of the term "integration":

Users of either the MS-DOS or the Microsoft Windows operating systems can take advantage of these great new features--and use them in either MS-DOS or Windows mode--because MS-DOS 6 is tightly integrated with Windows.

--MS-DOS 6 User's Guide

: Jake hadn't heard about this, so I told him, and now I'm telling you. Cool dinosaur-bird fossils found in China. Check it out.

    Hmm, maybe I should use the graphical Internet Explorer rather than the text-only Internet Explorer to check the graphics on my pages. I didn't give read permission for the blue ribbon banner. It's fixed now. When something breaks, you people need to tell me.

: My grades so far:

CS51A: B
Math 31C: C+
Philosophy 21: A
CS180: Not in yet

    So far I've called them all except the math one, which I called as a C. I'm hoping for an A in CS180 but I should get at least a B. If I get an A, my GPA for last quarter will be about 3.4.

: I have two new roommates. They are Todd and Thomas.

: What is up with these "modern" PCs where the power button is not a switch? It's just wrong! The power-up and power-down stuff is implemented totally in software! What's next, software-controlled floppy ejection like the Mac? Gimme a break! I want a switch!

Later: I did some work on the OMP!(25K-4)YOPPO tape insert tonight. There are turning out to be four major pieces to the collage. There is the title, which is going to be ransom-note-style cut-out words and a drawing from an IBM training catalog Al MacMorres gave me; there is Sally, with cake, football, and corn syrup; there is a girl I cut out of a Jews For Jesus cartoon tract who is longing after an ambiguously priced bra insert product being advertised by porcelain Easter bunnies; and, of course, there is Porcelain Puppy himself. Hey Kris, I need you to do the Porcelain Puppy drawing. We also need to do some flyers for the kaplan-leonardr-kaplan gig on the 23rd. Get back to me. The whole collage is mounted on my CUSP calculator project from CS33, on the page where it says "Syntax error in your favor", just because I think that phrase is funny. I'm going to write the track list and stuff just crammed in the white space between the parts of the collage. It should be pretty cool, bro.

: Attention everyone. It's donut time in the lunchroom. Donut time in the lunchroom.

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