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: I can't drink soy milk. I'm sorry. I can't. It's too sweet. It's conceptually less gross than dairy milk, but I can't drink it. I certainly can't cook with it.

: The following is part of an email I just sent to Jake. I think it is of more general interest:

I thought of a great joke this morning. Or what would be a great joke, for some value of x.

Q: What's the difference between an x and an insect?
A: Insects only eat their young.

The trouble is, I can't think of an x that makes sense in that joke. In fact, there may be no such x. The question is, does the absence of any such x make the joke less funny?

I was going to continue my search for some x that made sense, but then I thought of another joke that fits the same pattern:

Q: What's the difference between an x and a computer scientist?
A: Computer scientists start counting from zero.

So now the question is, should I attempt to locate these xes, or should I just treat x as a Skolem constant and take this to be an altogether new joke form, in the spirit of "What's the difference between a duck?".

: Today's joke that no one else will get (actually from last week, but I forgot about it):

If you change your name to HP_Josh, your neighbors will have to let you use their television!

--Me to Josh Barratt


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