News You Can Bruise for 1999 July 2

Fri Jul 02 1999 07:36: segv really needs to be moved stateside. Every time we get linked to from any site of consequence, response time slows to a crawl.

Also, I'd like to know what crazy mojo Recap is using to get every single column of his linked from Linux Today.

Fri Jul 02 1999 08:00: Here's the real ~~Ghostbusters~~ Linux sound page.

Fri Jul 02 1999 10:01: July seems to be okay, Y2K-wise. Anything that needs to look half a year into the future has broken by now. The next test is in about a week, when fiscal 2000 starts in many states.

Jake alleges that NYCB is in fact a weblog. But what does he know?

Fri Jul 02 1999 15:09: I keep throwing Jar Jar out, and the crafty bugger keeps worming his way back into my life. His foppish mug now stares at me from twelve cans of Mountain Dew. Have you seen me?, he seems to say.

Oh, I got a Yoda PEZ dispenser yesterday, for solving a challenge in Linear Algebra. I've never had a PEZ dispenser before. The upkeep is enormous; it takes over a minute to load the darn thing. The candy disposal mechanism doesn't go far enough. You tilt Yoda's head back and he pushes the candy out about a milimeter. You still have to reach in, chucking Yoda under the chin (Hmm! Stop that! Tickles, it does!), and grab the candy. It should plop it out into your hand.

Also, the [who's the cat who's a funky sex machine for all the chicks?] spring-loaded shaft [damn right. you know, i hear that spring-loaded shaft is one bad motha--(shut yo' mouth!) i'm just talkin' 'bout spring-loaded shaft! (we can dig it!)] needs to have a little latch thing that keeps it extended while you load the candy.

And let's face it; using Yoda's (or anyone's) head as a means of dispensing candy is just plain creepy. I will bet ten to one that PEZ was invented by some crazy German guy.

Also, the PEZ candies are not very good. That said, I like the Yoda PEZ dispenser. But the thing I will not tolerate is the sucker which recieves radio broadcasts and transmits them to your ears via your teeth. There should have been a special section of the Geneva Convention disallowing that.

Fri Jul 02 1999 15:24: As long as I'm cleaning out the Star Wars bin:

The Taco Bell/Star Wars cross promotional contest is something like "Defeat the Dark Side and Win". Defeating the Dark Side should really be its own reward.