News You Can Bruise for 1999 September 17

Fri Sep 17 1999 06:56: Someone from the credit union is supposed to call me today about my loan.

Despite not having any money, I tossed away $12 to refresh the optimal haircut. I don't know... we're so decadent! NYCB does not record the last time I got a haircut, but it was about a week before LWE, so around the beginning of August. So I'm getting my hair cut about once every 5 or 6 weeks. I'm throwing my money down a haircut rathole! But this haircut is so great.

There is a barbershop by the Lucky's by work, and down the street on the way to Trader Joe's there is a chain place. The barbershop is less expensive and gives me a closer cut, but I really feel uncomfortable having another man cut my hair. If I go to the chain I stand a good chance of having a pretty woman cut my hair. But I will probably keep going to the barbershop, because the uncomfortableness lasts about fifteen minutes, but a good haircut lasts six weeks.

The last time I got my hair cut (at the chain place), the pretty woman asked me if I was in the military. This time, (at the barbershop) the guy asked me if I was on the football team. It's a shame that the optimal haircut is seen as the sole province of our men in uniform.

Fri Sep 17 1999 07:03: I downloaded a random BSD track and listened to it on Frank's Windows machine. Sure enough, it had the same problem as SIL. So for whatever reason, my MP3s won't play correctly on Windows (non-Unix?) platforms. I don't know why.

Fri Sep 17 1999 07:14: Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? (from the jafo-grinder freshmeat mailing list):

 
dopewars is a UNIX rewrite of the MS-DOS program of the same name,
which in turn was inspired by John E. Dell's "Drug Wars" game. You have
one month to buy and sell drugs on the streets of New York...

...

   urgency:
   medium

Fri Sep 17 1999 08:26: Hey, did you know that there's a movie of Breakfast of Champions out, starring Bruce Willis as Dwayne Hoover? Bruce Willis is Dwayne Hoover! We've got to use the lasers!

Fri Sep 17 1999 09:00: Jake says, "I've never been in love, I don't know what it is, I only--" I'm sorry, Jane said that. Jake says that the MP3s work fine on his Mac of might. So it's all Windows' fault. Yes, it's all Windows' fault. I just like saying that.

Mmm, goldfish crackers and pudding. It's better than sex![1]

[1] Goldfish crackers and pudding are not actually better than sex.

Fri Sep 17 1999 12:36: More segfault from me, this one's pretty good: Press Release Successfully Disguised as News Article. Contains interplay of multiple main jokes, bizarre wordplay, Rodney Blumenthal from PPvDD, and some subtle (some might say obscure) MST3K references. I have 3 other stories in the pipe which I just have to finish; unfortunately, one is a Microsoft story, albeit a funny one.