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The Condensed Story of the Third Secret of Fatima


Pope John XXIII: In 1917, three Portuguese shepherd children were visited by the Virgin Mary and given three secrets. The first and second, which predicted World War II and the Bolshevik revolution in Russia, were made known to the Vatican in 1943. It's now 1960, and time to reveal the third secret. The envelope, please.

[Pope John XXIII opens the envelope and reads the secret.]

Pope John XXIII: Whoa, better let that one sit for a while.

[Pope John XXIII reseals the envelope.]

Panicked Masses: Rhubarb rhubarb, end of the world rhubarb, sex scandal rhubarb, too horrible to mention rhubarb.


Vatican Secretary of State Cardinal Angelo Sodano: It's now 2000, and time to finally reveal the third secret of Fatima. The envelope, please.

[Cardinal Sodano opens the envelope and reads the secret.]

Cardinal Sodano: Ah! The secret speaks of the 1981 attempt on the life of his holiness John Paul II. Specifically, it speaks of 'a bishop clothed in white' who 'falls to the ground, apparently dead, under a burst of gunfire.'

Awe-struck Masses: Rhubarb rhubarb, power of prophecy rhubarb.

I think there's a lesson here for all of us.

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