News You Can Bruise for 2000 July 13

Thu Jul 13 2000 07:46: MP3 of Sara on One Hand, the Drug Store on the Other. It's exactly the sort of song I would never, ever write (lyrics-wise, I mean; the music sounds very me-ish), but I wish I had written it, which makes me feel very weird, and may be why I love it so much.

Jake in his notebook: "everyone agrees- i should've removed the last "late afternoon" form the sara jon & the drugstore song. %#@$!"

Thu Jul 13 2000 08:40: I find this very funny, although I probably shouldn't (from The Washington Post):

No nation provides so clear an illustration of the dangers of irony as France: You sit in a cafe long enough, wearing black and muttering ironic observations on the passing scene, and one day the passing scene is the German army, again. Isn't that ironic?

Thu Jul 13 2000 08:56: Added Mark Fasheh, Michael Yount, and foaf's new weblog (One weblog, okay, but two???) to my outside-link bar.

Thu Jul 13 2000 13:16: On the way back from the Bryant office, I saw a big red double-decker bus belonging to the same tour company that owned the big red double-decker bus we took sightseeing in Victoria. It must be a chain, or that bus is seriously lost.

Thu Jul 13 2000 14:21: As long as I'm ripping people's songs off the IwaF compilation, I should rip my own 68 Dead Ones, which was not a premonition of the exploded whale, but which could have been.

Thu Jul 13 2000 14:50: I finally got my laptop. It's {Mendocino County &tc., a Thinkpad}. It's faster than my desktop at home, which should make for some wild times.

Thu Jul 13 2000 15:33:

IT'S A WHOLE NEW BAG!

How'd we pack so much FLAVOR and CRUNCH into something so MINI? One bite and your family will know this BIG TASTE is something DIFFERENT. QUAKER CRISPY MINI'S [sic] are OVEN-BAKED for a LIGHT, CRISPY texture you'll love to MUNCH. It's the SNACK that's a TREAT to EAT. At a party or simply watching TV, it's the only MINI that's BIG where it counts.

Wanna add some CRUNCH to the taste of CARAMEL? You've grabbed the right bag. CARAMEL CRISPY MINI'S [sic] bring to mind swirls of thick, rich caramel. And, better still, they've got CRUNCH! Now you can really satisfy your family's sweet tooth. So c'mon! Crunch into CARAMEL QUAKER CRISPY MINI'S! [sic]

This opens up so many questions. Like, why the unhealthy obsession with my family? Why the Pokeyfication? Why the apostrophe errors? Whose idea was it to write the copy as though "flavor" and "crunch" were cancer preventatives?