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Require, Select, Indicate: The machine which hosts crummy.com and segfault.org was taken down by VA following the Sourceforge crack, and who knows when they'll be done scanning it for vulnerabilities and put it back up. So I'm back in the low-rent editthispage district.

Tried to get BeOS 5 working on my new computer yesterday. The readme file said to put the BeOS image in a /beos directory off the root of any ext2 partition, but the boot disk was not aware of this arrangement and wanted to boot off the CD. I could try burning a CD and booting off of that. I just may do that.

None of this would be neccessary if there were a 3dSound equivalent for Linux, but I've given up hope for such a thing unless I write it myself. The sad truth is that average person who makes music using Linux makes a very different kind of music from the kind I make.

Also: after a long absence, I have returned to Terry Pratchett by picking up Equal Rites. Unfortunately, it's not nearly as fun as it used to be. :(

Bushism of the Indefinite Time Period: I was going to wonder why Slate hadn't put up a Bushism of the day for quite a while, but today they did put one up. It was pretty weak, though; part of it looks like W was trying to make a joke. Update: Actually, it's a pretty good Bushism. There are a couple subtle touches I'd missed the first time.

If anyone dasses to risk me fisks: Bad news: burning of BeOS CD was a near-total failure, not total only because I'm fairly sure I did manage to get bits onto the CD-R, something I'd never done before.

Good news: ecasound does almost exactly what I want. The thing that's missing is a GUI that lets me drag waveforms around. Doing it through the command line is a matter of trial and error, but it's not cumbersome and it has the advantage of actually working. It's the only program since 3dSound which passed the first benchmark to which I hold all alleged multitrack recorders, the assembling of disparate .WAV files into my sonic masterpiece Theme And Fantasia On "Popeye The Sailor Man". In addition, I was also able to play and record simultaneously, something I could never get to work on BeOS. Keep your eye on ecasound, folks. It's a winner.

There's a QT module for ecasound but I don't think it's going to do what I want it to do. However, ecasound has surprised me once before.

Four huge frogs sitting on concrete spools:

Kris brings you photos from the Vanessa/John wedding. I feel as though I should know John, but I don't.

My co-workers are flattering me to the turbine-dev mailing list.

Before it vanishes into the mists of time, look at Monday's brilliant Zippy the Pinhead. Mr. The Toad is my favorite Zippy character.

Halfhearted James Bond movie titles:

Ineffective Illuminati Tactics: First In A Series

I'm going to filibuster!

Software-related ramblings: I now have commit privileges to Turbine. Flattery got me somewhere. Load testing on the Tigris 1.0.6 release candidate indicates huge improvements. 1.0.6 is going to be, to my mind, the first version of Tigris suitable for hosting really large sites; computing power will henceforth be used to handle requests instead of to keep the Helm components in sync. My and Dan's clustering architecture also gives huge scalability improvements, but that's not going to be in a release until 1.1.

: Yesterday Rachel, my youngest sister, graduated from Bakersfield High School. Three quarks for her! She joins such illustrious BHS alumni as Andy Schile and my other sister, Susanna.

I'm experimenting with not putting titles on my news items. I'm not used to it, ergo it is bad. Cogito, ergo keyboard, as I said to Ed yesterday. Or Sumana's motto: Cogito, ergo Sumana.

Deniable plausibility:

Remotely Plausible Dialogue From One of the Later Marx Brothers Movies

No, that's a necklace. I assume you know what a necklace is? CHICO
Shore! I read-a Necklace Shrugged!

Remotely Plausible Excerpt From A Really Bad Historical Romance Their lovemaking raged like the Battle of Hastings would, three hundred and sixty-one years later.

I pluck them from the shore: Two things from the old (mid-1997) Crummy which I'm going to put back up once the current Crummy returns from the dead: Grunion Time, my pre-Jake Berendes West Covina foray into magical realism; also, the Mad Magazine-esque Kris/Leonard spoof Disaster Movies We Wouldn't Like to See. In fact, due to extreme boredom I've posted Grunion Time here on C:TBS. It's not great literature, but at least it makes no sense.

Joke: I saw Douglas Hofstadter's resume today. It had no references; only self-references.

Taking solace in bad poetry: Four Things I remember the first time I saw you,
the last,
and two years in between.

Segfault update: Not much to update. I'm calling and emailing people (person) at VA trying to get a status report, but nothing yet. I'm hoping I can at least get the Segfault and Crummy data so as to be able to host such sites on my own nickel (a much bigger nickel now than it was when Scott and I started Segfault). It would really suck if I lost 2.5 years of Segfault stories and three years of my weblog (I know, I should have been keeping backups and not trusting VA to keep backups for me). I'm sure it will work out eventually. Unrelatedly: last night I dreamed that instead of purchasing one car after graduation from college, I had purchased five. As Jeeves would say, the mind boggles. Why the hell would I do that? One of the cars was apparantly really nice and it was the one I drove all the time, which brings up the question: why didn't I just buy that one? I demand that my dreams make more sense!

No, Mister Bond, I expect you to miss your flight!: Seth Schoen weighs in with more halfhearted Bond movie titles:

And one new one from me: Try Not To Say Never Again. I wanted to put For Your Eyes in the original crop, but Kevin Maples voted me down.

Von Boyage: Sumana leaves for St. Petersburg at 4 PM (Washington time, I assume). I feel as though I should be standing right off the tarmac, waving a tiny flag as her group departs. In other news: Bugzilla asks you to log in using "a legitimate e-mail address" (my italics). You know it's because people complained about not being able to log in with email addresses that were totally bogus and not the ones they had gotten accounts with.

Nothing cleans like dirt:

President Bush told NATO allies the time had come to banish the last vestiges of the Cold War by developing a security framework based on ballistic missile defenses.

Your skin will crawl!*: My mother has the terrifying story of The Mummy!

Update: She sent me several more war stories, so that section is greatly expanded. *Skin may not actually crawl.

There Ain't No Justice: I came up with a great idea for a LRU cache which was capable of resizing itself solely based on frequency of requests, but consensus is that I shouldn't bother and that the cache I have now is smart enough, even though it requires a human to figure out coefficients for a given site. And now, sour grapes: my idea was probably prone to feedback loops that would have made it unworkable, anyway. This entry is so much less interesting than the previous one that it's not even funny.

Woo Frickin Hoo: Crummy is back. Go there.

: Back on the air. As usual, take a peek at crummy.editthispage.com for hot backup site action, including halfhearted Bond movie titles, bad poetry, and true tales of home improvement terror (which tales will be copied onto this site).

I am seriously going to back up all this stuff onto my computer at home.

: A while ago, Sumana came up with the Tonight's Episode "Eenie Meenie Minie Murder". But last night Manoj, lord of the TiVo, informed me that that was the actual title of a That's My Bush! episode. So it can't really be used. Dude, where's my Tonight's Episode? Dude, that's my Bush! <- horrifying glimpse into the world of "Dude, where's my x?" Leonardonics.

: FHW: Darwin Hits Back. Ow, my back!

Actually, the reason humans are so subsceptible to back pain is that we're poorly adapted to bipedality. So... that didn't make it any funnier.

: When you get an appointment for the California DMV, you might think that the appointment gets you is service at the time of the appointment, but you'd be wrong. What it gets you is you get to get a ticket and wait for the ticket ID to be called, at which point you get service; ie. you have an appointment to make an appointment. As far as I can tell the only thing an appointment gets you is it allows you to get the ticket without standing in line.

: Tomorrow I'm going to the Fresno area to celebrate the 30th wedding anniversary of my aunt Pat and uncle Alan at some sort of huge party.

Tomorrow is the zeroth wedding anniversary of my coworker and friend Daniel Rall, and his fiancée whose name I don't know how to spell.

Tomorrow is the first anniversary of the end of my college education.

: I moved my mother's horror story here. Now with an all-new initial chapter!

: Also, I now have a full local backup of Crummy. Did you know that there there are about 550 megabytes of content served from the crummy.com webspace? 450 of those megabytes are MP3s hosted in /music/. Another 50 is pictures in /pix/. Everything else takes up another 50.

: I was dead-set against seeing the Tomb Raider movie, but then I heard about the breathtaking scene in which the Illuminati pay five megabucks to make a privileged attack against New York, and Lara Croft can only save the day by playing her Interference special card. Now that's excitement!

: New poll, courtesy of a conversation I had with Manoj the other day.

: I spent all this morning and most of the afternoon getting rid of the redundant HELM_DOMAIN table. And now I'm exhausted. But that annoying table is *gone*.

: Laundry Day Statistics

I have forty T-shirts. Of these, eighteen are folded the way I like.

: Moved Grunion Time over to crummy.com.

: Ever since I first read it, I've felt remiss that there was no NYCB link to Dogma 2001: A Challenge to Game Designers. Well, now there is one. Because that was it. Doh, you read right past it!

: It's like some weird parallel universe ZDNet where they actually talk about technical things.

: Yesterday in yoga I discovered a new muscle in my hamstrings. This is very good because my hamstrings are really tight, even after six months of yoga.

Sorry I don't have anything more interesting to write about. I could write about my Illuminati triumphs yesterday and Tuesday, but yesterday's triumph was quite hollow.

: It's Lisp! It's SET! It's both!

: Excellent ("very accurate and fair"), good ("mostly positive") review of Degeneracy over at SPAG.

: Oh, and, in the same issue, there's (a second) review of Guess The Verb!, this one by Degeneracy victim Cedric Knight.

: FHW: Professor who lied to give up course. Man, the things some people will do to get out of doing work.

: Today's random thought: The Money Store, an organization which I was never really sure what they did, once had (and may still have) as their pitchman former Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Palmer. My question is, what did this guy do to get kicked out of the Hall of Fame?

: Inspired by the Degeneracy review, I finally finished the fixed bug list for Degeneracy. Contains all 300+ bugs fixed since version .31. Wrapup still forthcoming.

: Degeneracy postmortem is now finished and up. I'm really struggling to get an idea for another game that I'll be able to finish for the IF competition; I may not enter this year.

: I've been Open Directoried! I don't know who did it, but whoever did it mistook the transient (and now changed) pun in the <title> tag for the permanent title of the site.

: Reading a lot. I've decided that no book should remain in my stack of books for over a year, and some books are approaching that age. Actually I have some books I haven't finished reading for many years, but for some reason those don't count because they're not in the stack.

: One of the books I read yesterday was David Brin's The Practice Effect. I would have been happy with the first half of the book. But no, he had to go and write the whole thing. I say bah to the rule that the ending of a sci-fi book must contain some staggering revelation. Some people just do things differently. David Brin, of all people, knows this, but he had to put in the staggering revelation to satisfy convention (or possibly to make the book longer).

: On Saturday I saw a Jackie Chan action figure! I considered getting it. But I already have three action figures in use (two Jabbas and a Morn), and several more in a box somewhere in my mother's garage. Action figures are the textbook case of things you don't need that clutter up your life. Unless you have a whole bunch of them and you can make them fight.

: New (old) music: To Barbecue A Span Of Time. MP3 possible later tonight, but probably not.

: No TBaSoT MP3 tonight. I need a damned metronome so I can stay on the doubly-damned beat.

Also, I forgot to put up the quote on the Degeneracy postmortem. It's up now.

: Enterprise solutions with McSweenifier technology!

: I told Steve Zwaska about my impending birthday. He said, "I was 22 once, but only for about twelve months. Then I got sick of it and moved on."

: It has been alleged that the song To Barbecue A Span Of Time pertains in some way to a physical barbecue I recently attended. This is prima facie false, since I wrote the song in 1999 and 2000, mostly as something to sing to myself while walking back to my apartment from the UCLA campus. It took a while.

: "Seeking a deeper understanding, Chatterbox phoned Hofstadter". I like your crust!

: Bakersfield Californian, June 26, 2001

Jessie Mae Clark Services: Thurs., June 28, Noon Graveside services will be conducted by Arvin Funeral Home at the South Kern Cemetery District at noon on Thursday, June 27, 2001 for Jessie Mae Clark, age 90. Pastor John Lopez of Meridian Community Church will officiate.

Born Feb. 3, 1911 in Mena, Arkansas. Mrs. Clark passed away June 25, 2001 in Bakersfield. She was known affectionately as Grandma Jessie to many. Grandma Jessie touched many lives through volunteer work for her church and her kind spirit. Grandma Jessie could often be found working in her garden, sewing dolls, blankets and pillows to be taken to villages in Mexico. Grandma Jessie was an avid quilter and made as many as 50 quilts a year for her grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Mrs. Clark is survived by her son, Dalton and wife Rosalie Richardson of Bakersfield; granddaughter, Patricia and husband Alan Dyer of Madera; grandsons, Donald and wife Joanie Richardson, Garry Richardson, Larry and wife Kathy Richardson, all of Bakersfield; granddaughter-in-law, Frances Richardson of Bakersfield; great grandchildren, Shannon and husband Shaun St. Arnaud, Brian and wife Tina Richardson, Leonard Richardson, Susanna Richardson, Kevin Richardson, Rachel Richardson, Kyle Richardson, Eric Richardson and Brett Richardson; great great granddaughter, Sydney Richardson. She was preceded in death by her husband, Walter Clark, grandson, Roy Richardson and granddaughter-in-law, Helen Richardson.

The Richardson Family would like to thank the staff at Parkview Julian Convalescent Home for their loving care of Grandma Jessie.

Arvin Funeral Home, Arvin.

: 'Ethics challenge' softens hacker con. Next year DefCon will probably have a curfew.

: Work today smelled like the UCLA engineering library. An intensely dry smell that made you question whether the smell was actually there or if there was something wrong with your sinuses. There may well be something wrong with my sinuses, because it's always the same smell.

I feel weird posting entries after the one about the death of my great-grandmother.

: Umberto Eco has a new novel out, entitled Baudolino, but it has yet to be be translated into English.

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