News You Can Bruise for 2003 February 13

Thu Feb 13 2003 19:25 Caution! Contains Spoiler!: For a while now, my the little panel on my car that covers the gas tank cover panel hasn't been opening when I pull the gas tank cover panel release lever. I've needed someone else to hold the lever up while I pushed on the gas tank cover panel with my hand to get it to open (this was 1/2 tank of gas ago, having just gotten back from Bakersfield). Clearly the problem was with the gas tank cover latch hook. Yesterday I brought needle-nosed pliers with me when I drove into work. I got an accomplice (Kevin) to pull the gas tank cover panel release lever, opened the gas tank cover panel, bent the gas tank cover latch hook with the needle-nosed pliers, and it worked fine!

Today my car thought "That Leonard thinks he's pretty smart. He's fixed the gas tank cover latch hook, but now it's time for LEVEL TWO!" I went to the dentist this morning, missing the shuttle, so once again I drove into work. As I drove out of the parking lot this evening I heard a crunch. One of the little plastic connectors that keeps the front spoiler[0] attached to the car had busted off, and my spoiler was dragging on the ground. I retraced my steps, found the connector, and drove gingerly home where my tools[1] are. It turns out I didn't need my tools because the connector is an ingenious two-part assembly, and once you figure this out you can just reattach the spoiler to the car with your bare hands. Success again!

Tune in tomorrow, when my hubcaps fall off and must be replaced with dinner plates.

[0] This is the second time this spoiler thing has flaked out on me. The first time this happened I didn't realize it until the connector was long gone, so I had to take my car into the shop, and that's what the guy called the thing in the front of the car. I don't think "spoiler" is the right word for it, but that's what he called it. I'm just sayin'.

[1] These are computer- and minor-home-improvement-geek tools, not car tools.

Thu Feb 13 2003 19:28 Leonard Nitpicks The Folk Songs:

How often at night when the heavens are bright
With the light from the glittering stars,
Have I stood here amazed and asked as I gazed
If their glory exceeds that of ours.

That doesn't even make sense! "If their glory exceeds that of ours?" What does that mean? "If their glory exceeds the glory of our glory?" How about "If their glory exceeds even ours."?