Update: Sumana's suggestions, in helpful outline form:
Update #2: A. Cairns writes on the topic "Why I drink sparkling water":
It calms my fears of mortality.
Thu May 22 2003 11:00 Sparkling Water Symposium:
Kevin got me started on drinking sparkling water. I don't know why I do this. I think sparkling water tastes awful, yet I'm drinking it. I asked Kevin, why does he drink this water that tastes so awful. Kevin said, "It's an adult beverage." Adult beverage, my eye. That's just a code phrase for "it tastes awful". What is the actual appeal of sparkling water?
It's like drinking deadly, alkaline poison -- without all the messy dying!