News You Can Bruise for 2005 January 5

(6) Wed Jan 05 2005 13:27 PST: Got my braces (mostly) off today. There are tiny bands of braces still on my front teeth, making my mouth look like one of those old video games where you keep playing the same levels over and over again, but every time the platforms get shorter and harder to jump onto. Those come off in 2 weeks when I get the retainers.

(3) Wed Jan 05 2005 13:30 PST Spot The Villain: Having trouble figuring out which guest star in a Star Trek spinoff is the villain? Just keep around this list of self-justifying catchphrases. Use of any phrase on the list is guaranteed to identify the speaker as the villain of the episode:

• "We had no choice!"
• "It was the will of the people!"
• "Don't you see?"
• And my personal favorite, "I am the Federation!"