News You Can Bruise for 2005 April 1

(6) Fri Apr 01 2005 10:56 PST The Biennial Question: I need new computer stuff (specifically, hard drives and maybe a CPU). Where do I go, loyal readers?

Fri Apr 01 2005 15:23 PST Buzzword Namespace Collision: I went to the bank website and it said "LEONARD RICHARDSON - Personal Accounts" and I thought "Wait, why is Bank of America trying to sell me on Social Security privatization?"

(4) Fri Apr 01 2005 20:59 PST Anacrusish #3: This is actually #2: I wrote it about six months ago but I just showed it to Brendan instead of posting it, and I forgot about it. I'm cleaning out Beautiful Soup email from my inbox and I stumbled upon it, so why not post it now? Because it's got the same problems it did earlier, that's why. Oh well.

Silas

God has bent the spectrum over His knee. A rainbow goes from red to between yellow and green, then back down to red. Grass, if there was any, would look sick and brown. Silas's arms have mainly lost their highlights, but his rubber gloves are as black as before.

Silas wipes at his face for suddenly appearing goggles. Is it his brain, his eyes? The room, the world?

"The blue wire!" shouts Detective Rogin from behind the vault's door. "Cut the blue wire!"

Silas looks down at the package and tries to remember. Clearly someone does not want him to succeed.