1 00:00:00,270 --> 00:00:03,670 I am the epitome of readiness. Here's the theme. 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:18,260 [music: theme; Mozart, Symphony No. 24 (K 182), 2nd Mvt.; Philharmonic Symphony Orchestra of London/Leinsdorf] 3 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:26,040 Hello there, I'm Peter Schickele and this is Schickele Mix, a program dedicated to the proposition that all musics are created equal. 4 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:30,380 Or as Duke Ellington put it, if it sounds good, it is good. 5 00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:34,200 But what good would good music be if nobody could hear it? 6 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:41,600 Fortunately, we're being radioically disseminated thanks to financial support from the American Public Radio Program Fund, 7 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:50,780 whose contributors include the Ford Foundation, and also from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and this very radio station right here where you are right now. 8 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:58,870 One of the most pernicious, unfortunate, and otherwise draggy aspects of classical music 9 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:04,870 is that, perhaps because it's often called serious music, many people think that classical 10 00:01:04,870 --> 00:01:11,410 musicians have no sense of humor, when actually nothing could be further from the truth. In 11 00:01:11,410 --> 00:01:23,150 In fact, symphony orchestras constitute one of the greatest manufacturers and repositories of jokes on the planet, surpassed only perhaps by neighborhood bars and office water coolers. 12 00:01:23,730 --> 00:01:28,430 Now everybody hates the boss, so let's start off with conductors. 13 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:35,350 There are probably more incompetent or near incompetence in the conducting business than in any other aspect of music. 14 00:01:35,350 --> 00:02:05,230 Let's face it, you can't build a solo career or get into a decent symphony orchestra without at least being able to play the notes. But there are conductors out there who can hardly get through a piece just beating it correctly. I was playing bassoon in an orchestra once. It was for the Messiah and the conductor was a choral conductor. He was a pretty good choral conductor actually, but he wasn't very good in front of an orchestra. And at one point during rehearsal, his beat was so vague that the first flutist 15 00:02:05,230 --> 00:02:18,130 got out of sync. The conductor stopped and said, let's try that again. The flutist played it correctly, and after the solo was over, he turned to the rest of the woodwind section and said, sorry boys, lost my head and looked up. 16 00:02:18,130 --> 00:02:30,830 I have heard a story remarkably similar to that from a member of one of the top orchestras in this country. I was in another orchestra, an amateur orchestra, and we were rehearsing Beethoven's Seventh. 17 00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:37,430 [sung: Schickele vocalizes the opening of Beethoven's Seventh Symphony] 18 00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:43,650 And instead of doing the accepted two-beat pattern with his right hand, down, up, down, up, the conductor 19 00:02:43,650 --> 00:02:54,250 was flailing around with both arms, punching down with his right arm on every first beat and with his left on every second beat, as if he were pounding on an invisible drum. 20 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,230 Right, left, right, left. 21 00:03:00,070 --> 00:03:04,410 So pretty soon everything falls apart, and he stops the orchestra and says, 22 00:03:04,570 --> 00:03:06,450 First horn, you were one beat off. 23 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:10,670 The first horn player says, Sorry sir, I was watching the wrong arm. 24 00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:23,670 Anyway, here's a popular conductor joke. You're driving in the country and during the course of the trip you see a dead snake and a dead conductor on the road. What's the difference? There are skid marks in front of the snake. 25 00:03:24,410 --> 00:03:35,310 Now I'm sure that that joke has been told about professions other than conductoring. But sometimes non-musicians ask me, what kind of jokes do musicians make? Tell me a real musician's joke. 26 00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:40,610 Well, it's tricky, because a non-musician might not get a real musician's joke. 27 00:03:40,810 --> 00:03:43,630 And we all know how much fun explaining jokes is. 28 00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:48,470 But against all better judgment, I'll lay one on you, with explanation. 29 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:53,990 Two guys are auditioning for the Cleveland Orchestra, one of the best orchestras in 30 00:03:53,990 --> 00:03:54,410 the country. 31 00:03:54,510 --> 00:03:55,690 They're waiting in the waiting room. 32 00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:58,370 One of them's a real uptight, nervous guy. 33 00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:00,430 The other's real laid back. 34 00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:04,610 The uptight guy says, I just know they're going to make me sight read. 35 00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:09,610 I'm okay if I can rehearse it and practice it in my room, but I'm terrible at sight reading. 36 00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:11,530 I just know they're going to make me sight read. 37 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:14,630 And the laid-back guy says, Hey, don't worry about it, man. 38 00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:15,730 They always make you sight read. 39 00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,470 Finally, put it in front of you, you read it. 40 00:04:17,530 --> 00:04:18,010 No problem. 41 00:04:18,810 --> 00:04:21,010 Well, the laid-back guy gets called first. 42 00:04:21,070 --> 00:04:21,830 He goes in there. 43 00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:26,350 When he comes back into the waiting room, the uptight guy says, Did they make you sight 44 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:26,810 read, huh? 45 00:04:26,890 --> 00:04:28,070 Did they make you sight read? 46 00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:30,490 Laid-back guy says, Sure, they made me sight read. 47 00:04:30,550 --> 00:04:31,090 They always do. 48 00:04:31,210 --> 00:04:31,910 Well, what was it? 49 00:04:31,950 --> 00:04:32,910 What did they put in front of you? 50 00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:38,770 Laid-back guy says, I don't know what it was, I just looked at it and read it. Well, how'd it go? How'd it go? 51 00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:51,310 And the laid-back guy says, that went, la-da-dee-da-dum, dee-da-da-da-dee-da-da-da-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. 52 00:04:51,730 --> 00:04:58,370 Now, most musicians will be laughing by now, because here's what the guy is singing, but at the proper tempo. 53 00:04:58,370 --> 00:05:07,240 [music excerpt: Mozart, Le Nozze di Figaro, Overture; Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Fields, Marriner] 54 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:37,320 The Overture to Mozart's Marriage of Figaro at the right tempo. But the most fertile area of musical humor in the last few years has been viola jokes. Why viola? Why Polish? I don't know anybody who doesn't love the sound of the viola, but there is something right about viola jokes. I think it's partly that almost nobody starts out to be a violist. It's the same with bassoon. Like most bassoonists, I started out on clarinet. 55 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:43,960 And virtually every violist in the world started out on violin and then, for one reason or another, switched to viola. 56 00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:49,280 And I guess the perception is that they went to viola because they knew they weren't going to make it on violin. 57 00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:54,140 Although, actually, the viola is harder to play than the violin in some ways. 58 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:59,180 The viola is larger than a violin, but not big enough to play between the legs like a cello. 59 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,920 So it's awkward and harder to play in tune. 60 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:24,460 I just heard a nice story about Joseph Silverstein, for many years the concertmaster of the Boston Symphony, and now a conductor, as well as a violinist. Apparently, when he was a student at the Curtis Institute, the violist of the Faculty String Quartet got sick at the last moment, and since Joseph was a very fine student, and I'm sure played viola as well as violin, they asked him to sub. 61 00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:39,560 Well, the great cellist Piatigorsky was in the audience, and afterwards he came up and he said to Joe, so young and already the viola. Well, here's a little viola joke sampler. We'll do it hee-haw style. 62 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:45,900 [music excerpt: Mozart, Divertimento in F (K. 213), 4th mvt.; Holliger Wind Ensemble] 63 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:50,200 What's the difference between a violin and a viola? A viola burns longer. 64 00:06:56,270 --> 00:07:01,990 What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline? You take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline. 65 00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:13,710 Why are a violist's fingers like lightning? Because they never strike twice in the same place. 66 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:19,330 [music excerpt: Mozart, Divertimento in F (K. 213), 4th mvt.; Holliger Wind Ensemble] 67 00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:24,710 What's the difference between a viola and an onion? Nobody cries when you cut up a viola. 68 00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:37,890 Why do violists put their instrument cases on the dashboard when they go to the shopping mall? So they can park in the handicapped spaces. 69 00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:49,590 What's the difference between a viola and a Harley Davidson? You can tune a Harley Davidson. 70 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,880 The conductor gets up on the podium for a rehearsal, 71 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:18,320 and he notices that one of the inside-stand violists is crying. He says, what's wrong? The violist says, the second oboe player unloosened one of my tuning pegs. The conductor says, well, that's pretty juvenile behavior, but I think you're overreacting. Why are you crying? The violist says, he won't tell me which one. 72 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:24,130 [music excerpt: Mozart, Divertimento in F (K. 213), 4th mvt.; Holliger Wind Ensemble] 73 00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:29,410 What's the difference between violists and terrorists? Terrorists have sympathizers. 74 00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:39,440 Take an instant dislike to violists. Saves time. 75 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:50,420 How can you tell if the stage is level? The violist drools out of both sides of his mouth. 76 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,480 Why is a viola like... No, I better not tell that one. 77 00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:10,650 Why is a viola like a trial? Because everyone heaves a sigh of relief when the case is 78 00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:10,930 closed. 79 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:21,820 [music excerpt: Mozart, Divertimento in F (K. 213), 4th mvt.; Holliger Wind Ensemble] 80 00:09:22,210 --> 00:09:29,210 All right. The music in the viola joke suite was from Mozart's Divertimento in F, K. 213, 81 00:09:29,210 --> 00:09:37,990 played by Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Field types. I'm Peter Schickele and this show is Schickele Mix on APR. 82 00:09:40,360 --> 00:10:01,210 A little coda to the viola joke suite. During the Iraq War, there was one going around, what do a viola and a scud missile have in common? They're both offensive and highly inaccurate. I was talking to an orchestral musician once and he was saying that during a rehearsal when they were taking the break, somebody 83 00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:21,730 Somebody told that joke, and everybody laughed at it, and then they went back to rehearsing, and they were doing the end of a symphony, great big loud ending, and one of the violists actually did miscount, so everybody ended, and the violist played two extra chords, and there was this sort of stunned silence, till a percussion player shouted out, One got through! 84 00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:29,280 I met the conductor Christopher Hogwood a few days ago, and he was saying the orchestra is getting tired of viola jokes. 85 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,200 They were saying, aren't there any violin jokes? He said, I didn't know any. 86 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,800 And I said, well, I do know two. 87 00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:40,420 One of them is, how many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? 88 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,680 The answer is none. They can't get up that high. 89 00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:48,320 And the other, the other I'll tell you when you get a little bit older. 90 00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:51,780 Today's program is called Humor Me. 91 00:10:52,620 --> 00:11:18,810 Musical humor is a tricky business. Think of all the stand-up comics there are around and how few musical comedians. So what does it take musically to amuse? Well, in the first place, the music, whatever it is, has to be played well. When I was touring with P. D. Q. Bach, whom I have described as the worst composer who ever trod organ pedals, and I mentioned that I was going out to play with some real podunk type orchestra, 92 00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:37,250 Sometimes people would say, oh, that'll be perfect for P. D. Q. Bach, but that's not true. It works best with a great orchestra because then the gross things really stick out like sore thumbs. In fact, even the gross things have to be done well. So you want to work with good players and singers. 93 00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:53,900 Speaking of good singers, one of the bright lights in the early days of the Glyndebourne Opera back in the 1930s was a soprano named Ina Souez. Here's a little showcase of her talent, two arias featuring Ms. Souez. 94 00:11:54,740 --> 00:16:16,800 [music: Mozart, Così fan tutte, "Come scoglio immoto resta"; Ina Souez, Glyndebourne Festival Orchestra, Busch] 95 00:16:19,600 --> 00:19:47,300 [music: Arditi arr. Brandt/Jones, "Ill Barkio" (Spike Jones Is Murdering the Classics); Ina Souez, Horatio Q. Birdbath, Spike Jones] 96 00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:54,710 Souez, she died recently and I noticed in her obituary that she had sung with both Glyndebourne Opera and Spike Jones. 97 00:19:54,710 --> 00:20:24,450 And sure enough, I don't pay much attention to names, but sure enough, she was on the Glyndebourne recordings I grew up with. My folks back there in the late 30s used to save up and buy these big albums of 78s, one act at a time. As a matter of fact, they never got around to buying the third album of Così fan tutte. I know the first two-thirds of that opera much better than the last third. Così fan tutte, the Glyndebourne Festival Chorus and Orchestra, conducted by Fritz Busch, 98 00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:34,510 with Ina Souez as Fiordiligi, and then we heard Spike Jones, Ill Barkio, with vocal refrain by Ina Souez and Horatio Q. Birdbath. 99 00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:43,590 Musical humor, rule number two, parody what you like or have some affinity for. Victor Borge studied 100 00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:49,190 to be a concert pianist, Anna Russell studied to be an opera singer, they loved that stuff. Spike 101 00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:54,290 Jones flourished in the swing era, he hated rock and roll and he couldn't do good parodies of it 102 00:20:54,290 --> 00:21:25,150 because of that. P. D. Q. Bach started out very casually without a career in mind. I had no idea in my wildest dreams that more than a quarter of a century later it would still be going strong. But in retrospect, it's obvious that he had to be a late 18th century composer because then he could write in the style of his father, Johann Sebastian Bach, and his contemporary Mozart, two of my favorite composers. Here's a piece by Debussy poking fun at a stodgy Englishman. 103 00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:30,990 It's called Homage to S. Pickwick, Esquire, P. P. M. P. C. 104 00:21:31,360 --> 00:23:35,840 [music: Debussy, Préludes, Book 2, No. 9, "Hommage à S. Pickwick, Esq., P.P.M.P.C."; Walter Gieseking] 105 00:23:36,140 --> 00:23:42,730 Walter Gieseking playing Debussy's Homage to S. Pickwick, Esquire, P. P. M. P. C. 106 00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:53,080 I'd say the title in French. I can say Homage à S. Pickwick, and I can even say Esquire, but I don't know how to say P. P. M. P. C. in French. 107 00:23:53,340 --> 00:23:55,300 P. P. M. P. C. I don't know. 108 00:23:55,600 --> 00:24:00,260 We know it's supposed to be humorous because of the title and the God Save the Queen quote. 109 00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:22,930 But man, talk about heavy handed humor. The beginning is so ugly and the rest of it is so un-English. I've heard the jazz pianist Marian McPartland, who came from England, do much better send-ups of English pomp and circumstance. And I know I'm not alone in that opinion of the Debussy. But it is just my humble opinion, Claude. 110 00:24:23,310 --> 00:24:54,000 Ok next, the best parodies are enjoyable even to those who don't get the reference. Here's a delightful poem from Alice in Wonderland. It goes, you probably know it, How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail, And pour the waters of the Nile on every golden scale? How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws, And welcomes little fishes in with gently smiling jaws. 111 00:24:54,000 --> 00:25:07,550 I think that's a wonderful poem. But imagine how much kick it would have if I had been, or you were, a 19th century person who undoubtedly would know the Isaac Watts poem, the very moralistic poem, 112 00:25:07,550 --> 00:25:33,180 How doth the little busy bee Improve each shining hour, And gather honey all the day From every opening flower? How skillfully she builds her cell, How neat she spreads the wax, And labors hard to store it well With the sweet food she makes. It's an example, I think, of something you can enjoy without getting the reference, but obviously the reference increases the enjoyment. 113 00:25:33,180 --> 00:25:41,300 For instance, here again, apparently in the 19th century, almost everybody knew this Robert Southey poem. I'll only read the first two verses. 114 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:46,940 You are old, Father William, the young man cried. The few locks which are left you are gray. 115 00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:51,720 You are hale, Father William, a hearty old man. Now tell me the reason, I pray. 116 00:25:52,420 --> 00:25:57,440 In the days of my youth, Father William replied, I remembered that youth would fly fast, 117 00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:03,220 and abused not my health and my vigor at first, that I might never need them at last. 118 00:26:03,460 --> 00:26:07,920 And the poem goes on with Father William saying all these wonderfully healthy things. 119 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,940 And of course, Lewis Carroll changed it too. 120 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:15,760 You are old, Father William, the young man said, and your hair has become very white, 121 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:20,120 and yet you incessantly stand on your head. Do you think at your age it is right? 122 00:26:20,540 --> 00:26:25,260 In my youth, Father William replied to his son, I feared it might injure the brain. 123 00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:52,900 But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why I do it again and again. Now let's turn to a musical parody, one of P. D. Q. Bach's most interestingly prescient works, the 1712 Overture. Of course, I didn't have anything to do with this piece, other than editing the manuscript, but if I had had something to do with it, I might have thought along these lines. Here's the beginning of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. 124 00:26:53,720 --> 00:28:23,500 [music excerpt: Tchaikovsky, 1812 Overture, opening; Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra, Kunzel] 125 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,280 Now, what are the most memorable aspects of that theme? 126 00:28:27,110 --> 00:28:30,870 Well, the first four notes, and then 127 00:28:33,570 --> 00:28:36,010 how it keeps going to the fourth degree of the scale. 128 00:28:38,850 --> 00:28:53,670 So, ba da dee dee, da da dee dee, da da dee dee, da da dee dee, da da da dee dee dee dee, great, 129 00:28:53,930 --> 00:29:02,610 because it even goes, da da dee da dee, da da da da da dee da da da dee dee dee, perfect, 130 00:29:02,830 --> 00:29:03,050 okay. 131 00:29:03,050 --> 00:29:15,390 So what one might do then is to score Yankee Doodle with exactly the same kind of instrumentation as the Tchaikovsky and also adjust the rhythm so it sounds more like the Tchaikovsky. 132 00:29:15,530 --> 00:29:20,470 But it's actually so different that a lot of people might not recognize it. 133 00:29:20,690 --> 00:29:32,870 So one might, at the beginning, before that cello-viola thing that we heard, in the 1712 Overture, one might put the theme in a more obvious way so people are set up to recognize it. 134 00:29:33,050 --> 00:29:45,610 And then after the part that sounds like the Tchaikovsky hymn, finish off the Yankee Doodle theme with a kind of rhythm that both makes it fit with the Tchaikovsky and yet is completely recognizable. 135 00:29:46,130 --> 00:29:49,990 Here's the beginning of P. D. Q. Bach's 1712 Overture. 136 00:29:50,560 --> 00:30:59,600 [music excerpt: P. D. Q. Bach, 1712 Overture, opening; The Greater Hoople Area Off-Season Philharmonic, Walter Bruno] 137 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:13,320 Now, here's the climax of the 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky, where the same Russian hymn theme comes back, and all the bells are ringing, and certainly one of the most famous places in symphonic music. 138 00:31:13,760 --> 00:32:20,390 [music excerpt: Tchaikovsky, 1812 Overture, climax; Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra, Kunzel] 139 00:32:20,390 --> 00:32:28,290 Okay, of course, in the P. D. Q. Bach Overture, the 1712 Overture, the theme will come back, it'll be Yankee Doodle. 140 00:32:28,290 --> 00:32:40,650 And you know, I'll bet that even a lot of people who figure out the theme in the beginning, that it's Yankee Doodle and everything, I bet a lot of people even forget it by the time it shows up in the middle of the piece, because there's so much going on, and it's so exciting. 141 00:32:41,270 --> 00:32:49,650 Now, Tchaikovsky, of course, that piece was originally played outdoors with actual church bells sounding there, and so there's always a lot of bells there. 142 00:32:49,650 --> 00:33:03,710 So, what might we do? Well, we can get cowbells and triangles and tubular bells and throw in a few sirens and we can make it exciting enough so that you'll enjoy it even if you don't recognize the theme. 143 00:33:03,870 --> 00:33:19,370 And then, for those who listen to detail, they might notice that the strings, instead of doing the cascading scales that Tchaikovsky has them doing, in the P. D. Q. Bach, the strings are going da-da-da-da-di-di-di-da-da-di-di-di-di-di, the famous exercise 144 00:33:19,650 --> 00:33:25,410 for beginning violinists. Here's the climax of P. D. Q. Bach's 1712 Overture. 145 00:33:25,820 --> 00:34:30,300 [music excerpt: P. D. Q. Bach, 1712 Overture, climax; The Greater Hoople Area Off-Season Philharmonic, Walter Bruno] 146 00:34:30,300 --> 00:34:36,880 Okay, good news, folks. We're going to be hearing that whole piece in a couple of minutes. But first, 147 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:42,900 I want to tell you about a weird one. Who am I? I'm Peter Schickele. The program is Schickele Mix 148 00:34:42,900 --> 00:34:44,240 on APR. 149 00:34:47,240 --> 00:34:50,880 Before we go on, and before you've put your blue books away, 150 00:34:51,420 --> 00:34:55,520 I want to review the three rules for good musical parody. 151 00:34:55,820 --> 00:34:58,640 First, make sure it's well played. 152 00:34:58,980 --> 00:35:01,860 Two, parody what you like. 153 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:06,640 Three, make it work irregardless of references. 154 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:14,620 Speaking of references, you know, what's really weird is that sometimes even the person responsible for the parody doesn't get the reference. 155 00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:20,020 Here's the beginning of Beethoven's String Quartet Op. 59 No. 1. 156 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:51,020 [music excerpt: Beethoven, String Quartet, Op. 59, No. 1, 1st mvt., opening; Guarneri Quartet] 157 00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:56,840 Years ago, years and years ago, it occurred to me that that theme would sound great as a march. 158 00:35:57,220 --> 00:36:01,920 It even ends, La-di-da. 159 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:04,520 You really don't have to change a note. 160 00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:08,040 Maybe just add ba-dum-ba-dum before the last three notes. 161 00:36:08,580 --> 00:36:15,320 Here's how that theme sounds in P. D. Q. Bach's Grand Serenade for an Awful Lot of Winds and Percussion. 162 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:54,300 [music excerpt: P. D. Q. Bach, Grand Serenade for an Awful Lot of Winds & Percussion; Turtle Mountain Naval Base Tactical Wind Ensemble] 163 00:36:54,650 --> 00:37:04,990 Now, I realize that outside of New York and a few other cities, there probably won't be more than one or two people in the audience, if that, who recognize that theme as Beethoven. 164 00:37:05,270 --> 00:37:10,070 But folks seem to enjoy it anyway, especially when the trombones and tubas stand up. 165 00:37:10,810 --> 00:37:19,270 But here's the kicker. I conducted that piece in New York recently, and the New York Times reviewer said that one of the most bizarre inspirations 166 00:37:19,270 --> 00:37:48,010 was finding a similarity between Beethoven's Opus 59 No. 1 and You've Gotta Be a Football Hero, but I don't know that song. I had to ask people, how does that song go? Apparently it's, "you've gotta be a football hero to get along with a beautiful girl," or something like that. I don't know that song, or I didn't then, but maybe I did know that song, you know? Maybe I heard it. I mean, I've shopped in stores where they have Mitch Miller singing along, you know, while you shop. Maybe I have heard it. 167 00:37:49,370 --> 00:37:51,170 I'm only the discoverer. 168 00:37:53,610 --> 00:38:00,790 Okay, now back to the 1712 Overture by P. D. Q. Bach in its agonizingly ingratiating entirety. 169 00:38:02,500 --> 00:49:34,960 [music: P. D. Q. Bach, 1712 Overture; The Greater Hoople Area Off-Season Philharmonic, Walter Bruno] 170 00:49:36,670 --> 00:49:44,370 1712 Overture by P. D. Q. Bach. Walter Bruno was conducting the Greater Hoople Area 171 00:49:44,370 --> 00:49:46,330 Off-Season Philharmonic. 172 00:49:47,070 --> 00:49:51,680 Many people find that piece funny. That's okay with me. 173 00:49:52,390 --> 00:50:01,410 You know, it's interesting, but the people who object to P. D. Q. Bach, who think classical music shouldn't be made fun of or something like that, they're almost never musicians. 174 00:50:02,720 --> 00:50:05,420 Musicians need humor. It's a burnout profession. 175 00:50:05,940 --> 00:50:16,080 Do you have any idea how many times the members of a major symphony orchestra have played the 1812 Overture, not to mention that Leroy Anderson typewriter piece? 176 00:50:16,940 --> 00:50:27,380 It's a highly competitive business. You have to stay very much in top form and yet play the same pieces over and over and over again, often with not great conductors. 177 00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:32,920 And I'd like to end with a classic musician's story. 178 00:50:34,450 --> 00:50:39,990 Jack is walking down 52nd Street in Manhattan one day, sees a guy who looks familiar. 179 00:50:40,210 --> 00:50:47,220 He says, Manny? Manny looks at him and says, Jack? I can't believe it, says Jack. 180 00:50:47,220 --> 00:50:50,300 Man, we haven't played together for, what, 25 years? 181 00:50:51,060 --> 00:50:55,520 Man, he says, yeah, remember it was that little club in Passaic we used to play regularly. 182 00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,140 Man, it is good to see you. 183 00:50:58,540 --> 00:51:00,460 Jack says, it is good to see you. 184 00:51:00,540 --> 00:51:01,920 Man, he says, well, what's happening? 185 00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:03,120 You know, how's it going? 186 00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:05,740 Jack says, well, you know, it's okay. 187 00:51:06,020 --> 00:51:12,120 The jingle business isn't what it was, but, you know, wedding here, bar mitzvah there, it's okay, I'm getting along fine. 188 00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:13,160 How about yourself? 189 00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:35,640 Manny says, Well, I gotta say, Jack, life's been good to me. You know, right after we played that gig in Passaic, I remember it as if it were yesterday. I happened to run into a guy who was Frank Sinatra's arranger, and he didn't have time to get a chart done. I said, I'll do it. And that started a long association with Frank Sinatra. I did a lot of his charts, several of his albums. 190 00:51:35,640 --> 00:52:05,620 Jack says, Really? I didn't realize that. That's fantastic, Manny. He says, Yeah, that led to the work with Ella Fitzgerald. That was wonderful, too. And more recently, Whitney Houston and Paula Abdul. I gotta say, I really gotta give her most of the credit for my fifth Grammy. And Jack says, Fifth Grammy? You've got five Grammys? I can't believe it. Where have I been? I didn't hear about that. That's really great. And Manny says, Yeah, and you know, specials, TV specials, 191 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:09,240 They always come after the albums, right? So that led to the Emmys. 192 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:12,600 And, of course, then I got into the movie business. 193 00:52:13,260 --> 00:52:16,780 Ended up out there in the West Coast and did a lot of movies. 194 00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:20,140 And, well, it's just been very good. 195 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:25,300 Two Oscars, well, three Oscars actually, but the third one was really for arranging some Stephen Foster stuff. 196 00:52:26,460 --> 00:52:30,120 And Jack says, what have I been, on the moon or something like that? 197 00:52:30,180 --> 00:52:32,020 I can't believe I didn't know about this. 198 00:52:32,180 --> 00:52:34,800 This is real. It makes me so happy for you, Manny. 199 00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:52,160 And Manny says, Yeah, and you know, I started doing a lot of work for disadvantaged children and everything, and, well, if you want to know the truth, I think that that probably is as much responsible for my getting the Pulitzer as my first symphony was, when it comes right down to it. 200 00:52:52,240 --> 00:53:03,500 You got a Pulitzer, says Jack? I can't believe it. I mean, I read the papers, I can't understand it. That's fantastic. I didn't know about all this. He says, Well, what are you doing in town now? 201 00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:15,350 And Manny says, well, you know, I had to go down to Philadelphia because we're commissioning Quincy Jones to write a piece to keep kids off heroin, you know. 202 00:53:15,850 --> 00:53:19,270 It's called Cracked. It has a part for the Liberty Bell in it. 203 00:53:19,310 --> 00:53:21,290 So I was down there sort of getting that arranged. 204 00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:23,490 And I had to come back up here to Manhattan for something. 205 00:53:23,570 --> 00:53:29,110 And I thought, well, instead of taking the train, I think I'll take the limo and stop by that place in Passaic. 206 00:53:29,450 --> 00:53:32,090 And I did. I went, and you can't believe it, Jack. 207 00:53:32,090 --> 00:53:56,030 But that club is still there. Ziggy's is exactly the same as it was before. I went in there and there was Ziggy. It was late afternoon. We had a wonderful little talk and Ziggy said, Hey, you know, Manny, you ought to stay, have some supper and play. We got a nice piano trio here tonight. You can sit in. And I said to him, I said, Ziggy, I haven't played tenor in 20 years. I don't even have a horn anymore. 208 00:53:56,030 --> 00:54:05,610 And Ziggy said, Look, I got one upstairs. My daughter plays tenor. Look, I got another mouthpiece, no lipstick on it. Come on, have a little supper. Play tonight. 209 00:54:06,050 --> 00:54:15,210 Well, I couldn't resist. We had a nice time. The piano trio showed up about 8.30. I got up there on a stand, and it was, well, it was sort of like old times, you know. 210 00:54:16,980 --> 00:54:26,860 But, I gotta tell you, Jack, the old fingers just didn't work the way they used to. The old chops gave out after about 45 seconds, you know. 211 00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:35,350 I got to admit that it just didn't sound that great. And Jack says, yeah, that's what I heard. 212 00:54:36,620 --> 00:54:50,230 [music: theme; Mozart, Symphony No. 24 (K 182), 2nd Mvt.; Philharmonic Symphony Orchestra of London/Leinsdorf] 213 00:54:50,230 --> 00:54:52,550 And that's Schickele Mix for this week. 214 00:54:52,930 --> 00:54:57,610 Our program is made possible with funds provided by the American Public Radio Program Fund, 215 00:54:57,750 --> 00:55:02,130 whose contributors include the Ford Foundation, by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, 216 00:55:02,230 --> 00:55:05,570 and also by this radio station and its members. 217 00:55:06,540 --> 00:55:10,960 We'll tell you in a moment how you can get an official playlist of all the music on today's program 218 00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:15,600 with record numbers and everything. Just refer to the program number, which in 219 00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:17,760 this case is program number 43. 220 00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:23,020 And this is Peter Schickele saying goodbye and reminding you that it don't mean a thing 221 00:55:23,020 --> 00:55:25,000 if it ain't got that certain je ne sais quoi. 222 00:55:25,300 --> 00:55:27,680 You're looking good, see you next week. 223 00:55:28,500 --> 00:58:02,040 [music: theme; Mozart, Symphony No. 24 (K 182), 2nd Mvt.; Philharmonic Symphony Orchestra of London/Leinsdorf] 224 00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:06,720 If you'd like a copy of that playlist I mentioned, send a stamped self-addressed envelope to 225 00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:07,320 Schickele Mix. 226 00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:12,180 That's Schickele, Schickele Mix. 227 00:58:12,180 --> 00:58:19,800 Care of American Public Radio, 100 North 6th Street, Suite 900A, Minneapolis, MN 55403.