Day of Wrath, Day of Yuckyness

Schickele Mix Episode #160

Part of The Schickele Mix Online Fan Archive

Premiere
1998-10-28
“Peter, are you ready?”
Don't get me started.

Listen

You can listen to this episode on the Internet Archive, and follow along using a transcript.

Listing

Transcript

[This is a machine-generated transcript, cleaned up and formatted as HTML. You can download the original as an .srt file.]

A message from WCLV Lorraine Cleveland, Northeast Ohio's classical music station. Locally owned, locally responsive.
Also, WBKC, 1460 AM, Painesville. Don't get me started. Here's the theme.
[No speech for 11s.]
Hello there, I'm Peter Schickele and this is Schickele Mix. A program dedicated to the proposition that all musics are created equal.
Or as Duke Ellington put it, if it sounds good, it is good. And I must admit that good is not a word I would use to describe the circumstances of today's broadcast. But hey, there's always a silver lining, right? The silver lining here is that our bills are paid by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and also by this radio station.
And this show is distributed by PRI, Public Radio International. The not-so-good part is that they're doing some rewiring up in the studios and I'm having to do today's show down here in the basement of the station. And when I say basement, I don't mean pine-paneled rec room type basement. I don't even mean cement block hallways type basement. I mean dirt floor basement.
I mean pock-marked brick walls, huge wooden beams complete with spiderwebs, an old abandoned coal chute and all sorts of meters and fuse boxes and boilers and discarded stuff and a dirt floor with...
You know, when I was a kid living on Harvard Street in Washington, D.C., there was a big old house across the street that had a stone foundation with a hole in it. And a couple of times, a few of us... got up our nerve and crawled in through that hole. And there was a place where there was like white powder on the dirt floor. And we were convinced that somebody had been buried there. Well, I swear that there's an area here on the floor in this basement. I can't help it. It's about six feet long and two feet wide, okay? And it has a whitish tinge as if lime had been spread on it. You know what I mean? I mean, I'll admit it, this place gives me the creep.
Oh, and they've spared no expense in setting me up here. I'm sitting at a table made of three two-by-eights held up by a couple of sawhorses. There's one little gooseneck lamp here with a... What is it? It's a 40-watt bulb. I'm wearing a lavalier, you know, the kind of little mic you clip on the front of your shirt or jacket with a little power pack or whatever it is on your belt.
I'm telling you, and of course, the kicker is that this is a Halloween show. Here I am in a dark, dank basement, and the only thing that I... What's that?
Wha... What is the... Oh, man. You know, I don't usually spook easily, but I'll be glad when this show is over and I can return to the land of the living.
Actually, you know, maybe it's just as well that it's a little scary down here. I mean, not really scary. But sort of. I mean, because one of the things that I want to talk about on this show
is the discrepancy between the apocalyptic, soul-rending terror of the Night of the Dead and the good-time, giggly, novelty-prone thing that Halloween has become in our culture. On the one hand, you've got the Requiem Mass based on the text, Day of Wrath and Doom Impending, David's Word with Sibyl's Blanket, Heaven and Earth in Ashes Ending. Oh, what fear man's bosom rendeth When from heaven the judge descendeth On whose sentence all dependeth. And on the other hand, you've got candy corn and the Munsters.
You've got this, on one hand...
[No speech for 100s.]
Emotionally speaking, I think you'll agree that it's a lot of work and a long way from that to this.
My darlings, yes, it's me, the queen of camp, every trick or street, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
And thanks for helping me celebrate Halloween with our very own private party. I guarantee it'll be a scream. Whoa, good thing I didn't say it'd be a gasp. After you hear this collection of my all-time favorite terrifying tunes, I'm sure you'll agree there's nothing quite like Elvira's monster hits. Hits.
I said, hits. Sheesh, wash your mind down with soap, will ya? There's children listening. That's because adults won't. Now, let me start you off with a hot new song destined to become a cult classic. It's by my favorite artist of all time, me. And if you don't just absolutely worship it, I will eat a bug.
Hey, what the heck, I think I'll eat a bug anyway. Ew, ew, yuck! Oh, who put candy in a bug dish? Ew. Oh, dude. Oh, girl.
Oh, well, anyway, while I visit the little ghoul's room, here's some music that'll really get you in the Halloween spirit. Okay, whatever.
We heard part of the Dies Irae section of the Verdi Requiem with Robert Shaw and the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra and Chorus, followed by Elvira's invitation to hear her sing one of her songs, an invitation we will respectfully decline. Although, as a matter of fact, we will be hearing it, including some of the other artistes she has brought together on her CD compilations.
But before we do that, I wanted to mention that even within the realm of liturgical music, the highly dramatic fire and brimstone quality that we have come to associate with the Dies Irae was not always present. Early settings of the text were much more restrained, invoking sadness, perhaps, more than fear and trembling. Here are two settings, one from the 15th century and one from the 18th.
[No speech for 173s.]
Excerpts from two Requiem Masses, the first by Antoine Brumel, performed by the Huelgas Ensemble under Paul van Nevel. That was just the first verse of the Day of Wrath sequence. Then we heard the first two verses in the setting by Mozart, from the Requiem that he came to believe, not without reason, that he was writing for himself.
Much more dramatic than the early Renaissance Mass. Much more dramatic. What was that? Oh man, I guess it was just something to do with that boiler over there in the corner. I don't mind telling you, this business of broadcasting a Halloween show from the basement of the station has got me just a little bit edgy.
I keep thinking I see something moving over there by the coal chute. I mean, I'm not saying it's anything supernatural or anything, but what if it's rats?
I can't wait to get out of here anyway that was Robert Shaw and the Atlanta gang again doing the Mozart there are so many different versions of the Mozart
Requiem around now that it's got noise again what is that oh that freaks me out
this is beginning to get to me I mean what it is is it's it's how it's all coming together here they tell me I have to broadcast my show from the basement because of construction upstairs it just happens to be a Halloween show with excerpts from three different Requiem masses and I just happen to have seen my
lawyer earlier today to revise my will I mean is that creepy or what you know I
think I'm gonna sign the will right now I was gonna do it when I got home you know after I had a chance to think about whether I really want to change it or not but maybe I should just go ahead and and sign it right now you never know I mean I love my cats but what would they do with human money
anyway right ok let's see Ok here it is Peter Schickele host of trees mix from PRI public radio and telemarketing
Radio International. Halloween, what it comes from, what it's become. Today's show is called
Day of Wrath, Day of Yuckiness. So, do you think I was being too much of a Puritan when I implied that I disapprove of the discrepancy between the very real feeling of terror, or at least unease, that is usually found in a religious view of the Night of the Dead, and the harmless, humorous, commercialized Halloween that most of us experience? Yeah, so do I. No, no, I mean, I agree with you. I think I was being too much of a Puritan. It's not that I think that serious things should always be avoided, be co-opted by something less serious, but it is true that we have a long history of using humor to help us deal with things that make us uncomfortable, or things that we have trouble handling. Like sex, right? And mothers-in-law, and sickness, and certainly death. Now, there is a limit, and it occurs at different places for different people.
I've heard jokes that make me feel more queasy than amused, but I also know a couple of Alzheimer's jokes that crack me up. And one of the reasons they crack me up is that my dad had Alzheimer's for 10 years before he died, and it became so difficult to deal with, especially for my mother and my brother, who were on the scene more than I, that sometimes all you could do was laugh.
You know, I often think I'm afflicted with random noun syndrome, but he really was. I remember sitting with him at a window seat in a restaurant once, and there was a lot of traffic outside, and he watched the cars for a while, and then he said, Peter, look at all that egg interest out there. Egg interest. I have no idea what it means, but it's beautiful. What could I do but laugh and say, you're right, Dad, I don't think I've ever seen that much egg interest. Now, I don't know much about psychology, but I know what I like, and it's becoming increasingly clear that laughter is quite literally good medicine. It's one way to deal with your demons, at least for a while, which brings... Whoa! Oh, that boiler's going to be the death of me. Which brings us, as I was about to say, to a lovely group of leader called Songs My Monster Taught Me. There are four of them, and they last about 13 and a half minutes. I'll be back.
Down in the valley on the foggy hill rocks was a crazy little demon blowing his top. Fire in his eyes and smoke from his head. You gotta be real cool to hear the words he
said. He did a ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-ma-ma-mama, ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-mama-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mama, ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-mama-mama-mi-ma-ma-ma-ma-j précis evangeliens.
He had steam in his soul for the one he loved, so he had death on his mind, cause the demon let him go, goin' around through the world, till the understand his pain. Somebody help him get his demon home again. He did a ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-lae .
He made the sky turn green, he made the grass turn red
He even put pretty hair on grandma's bald head
He made the moon back up, he even pushed back time Took the fruity out of fruity, had the devil drinking wine He did a
That demon felt good cause she finally got across
To the crazy little demon that a woman steal above Down in the valley on the foggy hill rock You can steal in a demon blow and it's time He did a
That cat, that cat was mad
He pushed back night, bought in afternoon He even made Leek Gear jump over the moon
He took the 4th of July and he put it in May He took this morning, bought back yesterday He did a That demon felt good cause she finally got across
[No speech for 14s.]
Just a half a mile from Champlain shore
300 feet deep Or maybe four
Or maybe four
Four hundred, four hundred
Sublimate the unobtrusive That the only name
The only name The only name That seems to suit him Is monster
He died out in the place to say Nera Or so the hymns Or so the hymns of history books say His fate, like all of his kind, a watery grave
But just stop and consider the chances of one Gargantuan whatever it is Swimming far away from its herd Getting trapped in some freshwater lake
But that's so absurd I don't know about that Do you really believe that a beetle-brained reptile Three million years old That's as big as a two-car garage
Could be frolicking under your sailboat Diving, diving Diving, diving
Sailing
Down on the bottom
300 feet down
Or maybe, oh maybe four Maybe only two Or maybe only one 100 feet down 100 feet down and rising
Soon it will surface and breathe air And when it does we will be there fishing
No way It's a snake, it's an eel It's a school of sturgeon
Some snorkeler No way It's a railroad tie It's a telephone pole Wrong number No way It's a Russian sub It's a rubber duckie Some swamp gas
No way Give me any old line
It's sunlight playing on the wall
I swam Lake Champlain since I was a little bitty kid And he never has seen Never has seen No, he never has seen Never has seen Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never Never seen No monster
Please monster, don't come out I don't believe it, no Please monster, don't come out
New York Times ran a photo last year
Completely authentic, they swore
It showed the head and the neck
It showed nothing more But I'll tell you, I stared at that picture for half an hour And I couldn't find any resemblance to sturgeon or snake Draw any conclusion you want
Oh, that thing was a fake Well, it was not, buddy, it's a pretty big lake You could drop
You could drop The whole city of Berlin to ruin And have room for Plattsburgh as well Plattsburgh as well
There's plenty of room for a peace-loving monster to dwell
Those wetfoot fuddy-duddies in their underwater studies Please monster, don't come out Don't flash out their cameras Conjecture at some overrated lecture Please monster, don't come out
You know that you alone are the big blip on Epsonon
Please monster, don't come out It's nice to know there's something we know nothing about
Straight from the show
I think like a soldier, I know what's right and what's wrong. He knows what's right and what's wrong.
I am the original discriminating buffalo man, and I'll do what's wrong as long as I can.
He'll do what's wrong as long as he can.
I live in a labyrinth under the sea, down in the dark as dark as can be.
I like the dark as dark as can be. He likes the dark as dark as can be.
I'll even attack you or eat you whole, down in the dark my bone mills roll. Far in the dark. Porridge for my porridge bowl.
Porridge for his porridge bowl. I'm strong as the earth from which I'm born.
He's strong as the earth from which he's born. I can't dream well because of my horns. He can't dream well because of his horns.
[No speech for 30s.]
A Minotaur gets very sore, his features they are such a bore. His habits are predictable, but he can't dream well, because of his horns.
[No speech for 30s.]
And being a buffalo man, I'll do what's wrong as long as I can. He'll do what's wrong as long as he can.
As long as he can. As long as he can. As long as it can, as long as it can, as long as it can, as long as it can, as long as it can.
The late one night, when my eyes beheld an eerie sight, for my monster from his slab began to rise, and suddenly, to my surprise, he did the match, he did the monster match, the monster match.
He did the match, it was a graveyard smash, he did the match, it caught on in a flash, he did the match, he did the monster match.
From my laboratory in the castle east, to the master bedroom where the vampires feast, the ghouls all came from their humble abode, to get a jolt from my electrode, they did the match, they did the monster match, the monster match. It was a graveyard smash.
They did the match, it caught on in a flash, they did the match, they did the monster match.
The zombies were having fun, the party had just begun, the guests included Wolfman, Dracula and his son.
The scene was rocking, all were digging the sounds, Igor on chains, Blackfire's bailing hounds, the coffin bangers were about to burst. They were about to arrive, with their vocal group, the Cryptkicker Five. They played the match, they played the monster match, the monster match. It was a graveyard smash, they played the match, it caught on in a flash, they played the match, they played the monster match. Out from his coffin, Max voiced it ring, seemed he was troubled by just one thing.
Opened the lid, and shook his fist and said, Whatever happened to my Transylvanian wist? It's now the match, it's now the monster match, the monster match, and it's a graveyard smash. It's now the match, it's caught on in a flash, it's now the match, it's now the monster match. Now everything's cool, Jack's a part of the band, and my monster match is the hit of the land.
For you, the living, this match was meant to, when you get to my door, tell them, God, it's a hit.
I said, then you can match, then you can monster match, the monster match, and do my graveyard smash. Then you can match, you'll catch on in a flash, then you can match, then you can monster match, Ömer.
Match, monster match,Ömer, this is the end for you and your family, monster match,Ömer. Match, monster match, Ömer, monster match, Ömer.
Hey, if you can't beat them, laugh at them. Songs My Monster Taught Me began with Screamin' Jay Hawkins telling us of his encounter with a little demon. I'm doing quote signs there. That's the name of the song.
Then came Monster by Pete Sutherland, performed by him, Gray Larson, and Malcolm Doglish, from a cassette called Root Crops and Ground Cover. Next, that nice little Gilbert and Sullivan-ish ditty was the Minotaurs song from the Incredible String Band. And then last, and in all likelihood least, Monster Mash, featuring Bobby Boris Pickett and the Crypt Kickers.
You know, the other thing about Halloween is that most kids like being scared, as long as they know they're safe, as long as it's not too scary, or scary for too long.
Right from those first little games of, to roller coasters, many of us like to be scared.
Not to mention all those gory movies that give new meaning to the term highest grossing films. Those eyeball poppers are too much for me, but I was a roller coaster fan well into middle age.
My friend Bob and I used to go out to Coney Island and ride the Cyclone five, six, seven, eight times in a row, arguing about whether the first car or the last car was the better ride. See, the thing is, I don't know.
The thing is, you get whipped around more in the last car, but there is nothing as scary as going down that first hill in the front car. When I first went to New York, the parachute jump was still open, and I think that was the scariest thing I've ever been on. You know, one thing I like about being down here in the basement is that there's no irrelevancy alarm. I can talk about whatever I want. And also, I have to say, you know, we were talking about laughter being a weapon, that after, after listening to those ridiculously silly monster songs, I am feeling considerably more comfortable about being down here.
And I am even considering to- Oh my God.
Yeah, well. I must admit that I'd feel even more comfortable if I knew what the heck that is. Am I crazy or did that sound like a wolf?
Hey, uh, you know, my friends, and I do think of you listeners as my friends, I'd like to ask you a question. Ask a favor, if you don't mind. About half an hour after the show is over, could you please call me? I mean, on the, you know, on the regular number, the phone in the studio.
And if I don't answer, just ask whoever does answer if they know the whereabouts of Peter Schickele, host of Schickele Mix from PRI, Public Radio International.
Today's show is called Day of Wrath, Day of Yuckiness. We've been talking about using humor to fight fear. Without getting too pompous, I hope.
Although I would like to assure you that I do have a psychology degree from Armchair University. It's right up there on the wall next to the Elvis on Velvet.
Anyway, it's tidbit time here at the old haunted house. And we're going to hear the most unscary thing that supposedly has to do with something scary that I've ever heard. We often make fun of what we're afraid of. But this is so cute. And so cuddly that it was obviously designed for the whole family, including the baby still in the womb. We'll hear two versions, the original and a parody.
They're creepy and they're kooky.
Mysterious and spooky. They're altogether ooky.
The Addams Family. The house is a museum. When people come to see them, they really are a scream.
The Addams Family. Neat.
Sweet. Petite. So get a witch's shawl on. A broomstick you can crawl on. We're gonna pay a call on. The Addams Family.
[No speech for 36s.]
They're creepy and they're kooky. Mysterious and spooky.
They're altogether ooky. The Addams Family. The Addams Family Dig the bed, it's a museum
And when the cats all fall by the sea Hey, they're a riot, they're a doggone scream Hey, the Addams, crazy bunch
Neat Sweet
Repetit
Okay, boys, get ready to take me to the stratosphere
[No speech for 17s.]
Yeah
[No speech for 23s.]
So, get the witches show on Oh, hey Oh, hey Don't stick you and your mate Ted Crawl on We're gonna pay a little unexpected fall on
The Addams Family
What a bunch of spooky cats in that joint Who loves you, Pugsley?
Hey, thing, slap me five, baby Hey, Lurch, put Sammy down, he came with me Oh, Tish, you spoke French again
There goes the hair on my neck The main title song for The Addams Family First by its composer, Vic Mizzi And then the Frank Sinatra version was by Joey Gaynor Oh!
I wonder how long it's gonna take me to get used to that boiler Oh, boy That, ladies and gentlemen, was the light going out And I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm not gonna lie to you
It is dark down here It is very, very dark I don't know if it's something wrong with this lamp
Or it's the whole circuit or whatever It doesn't matter The point is, I'm sitting here in a pitch black basement All alone Except for, perhaps, a werewolf
Okay, now let's just I came prepared for this, actually Here's the... The flashlight I brought along, and it's dead
All right, I came prepared for that eventuality as well Here is the candle And here are the matches
Okay, that's better Well, I guess the thing to do here is to get up And see if I can find any light switches Or... Working circuit breakers or whatever Now, this wall here seems to have three doors in it Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it? Yeah, Bluebird's Castle Or something Okay, big boy, let's get ahold of yourself here You won't find anything if you don't look
So let's see what's in the first door
I say, Holmes, what was that?
[No speech for 85s.]
Huh, imagine that Opening a door in your basement And finding Spike Jones and his whole band Playing the Arabian dance from Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes Okay, now... Now... Going along here The next door is marked L.H.R.
L.H.R. Left-handed rivets Little hangman's room Lethal harpoon refills
Well, only one way to find out L.H.R.
Halloween, Halloween, ooh, Halloween Ghostly things are going to happen
Halloween spooks outside my window Halloween spooks behind the tree
I wish that the children could see
But I can't find them for the life of me And there's Halloween spooks outside my windowpane Ahh!
[No speech for 64s.]
Halloween spooks outside my window
Halloween spooks
behind the tree I wish that the children could see but I can't find them for the life of me and there's Halloween spooks outside my window
[No speech for 10s.]
Trick or treat!
Oh, well, let's see. I've got some M&M's here. Here you go. Okay, happy Halloween. All right, so LHR obviously stands for Lambert, Hendricks, and Ross. Halloween spooks. Top drawer Halloween spooks. That first solo was particularly great, wasn't it?
Now you know what it would be like to hear an owl scat singing. Or was it a hound? Hound, owl. They can sound sort of similar to each other, actually. I never thought about that.
Haven't had the occasion to, really. You ain't nothing but a hound, owl. Okay. Let's keep it together here, Peter. Getting a little flaky. Okay.
Here's the last door and it's marked hearse. Hey, you know, I think somebody told me once that there used to be a mortuary here where the station is now. Maybe this was an underground garage for the hearse. Hey, if there were another room maybe it would have snakes in it and the two rooms would be marked hiss and hearse.
Oh, man. I hope this candle doesn't go out. Okay. Let's do it. The last door.
Here comes the hearse.
[No speech for 16s.]
Never laugh when the hearse goes by For you may be the next to die First they wrap you in a bloody sheet And sling you down about six feet All goes well for about a week And then the casket begins to leave The worms crawl in The worms crawl out The worms play pina colón Your snout
Little green bugs of eyes of bread
Go through your liver And out your head
Your eyes sink in Your teeth fall out Your teeth fall out The icy tickle on your spine Makes you want to scream and shout Your stomach turns to a moldy green And the booze comes out
Like a whipping cream And me without a spoon
Here comes the hearse
With this skimping slave A fortune to save And a life to live You lose it all When you go to the grave
For life were a thing That money could buy The rich would live And the poor would die
[No speech for 10s.]
Here comes the hearse
Terry Teen
Boy, I haven't thought about him Ever, pretty much That curse of the hearse I certainly love it And I'm sure it lives on in that room Well, uh, no light switches I guess I'll I guess I have to go over in this direction now About which I am not overjoyed This is the direction that weird wolf howl was coming from I just hope Whoa, there's a cold draft here Hey, here's that white area on the dirt floor Oh man, there's a little wood in there
I wouldn't cross at the head of it Let me bend down here Let's see, it says M.L. Grum, R.I.P. M.L. Grum? He was the previous station manager here I always thought Oh no, the candle's gone out Oh brother and I left the matches back at the table Rats, I mean not rats
Hey I don't have any cheese on me guys Uh, just this yucky candle It's highly scented, you know, with that cloyingly sweet perfume It smells like a urinal
I'm sure you wouldn't want to be even coming Oh no It's coming closer
Well, what do you know It's the freight elevator All lit up And the station manager's dog was stuck on it Hey he's the cutest little chihuahua You've ever seen Come on over here Napoleon Here, do you want some M&M's? Yeah, there you go Hey, I'm gonna be very nice to you and your owner
Yes sirree Uh, if you happen to be listening to the program sir Napoleon's just fine And I'll be bringing him up as soon as I get off the air
And by the way, I have a very short memory sir I mean, I can't I can't remember anything that, I mean this last hour has been so creepy and unsettling And as a matter of fact, I think it's time I'm gonna prop the freight elevator door open here So I've got light and uh, and go back to the table here and uh, well uh, let's go out with some vampire music We haven't had any vampires on the show
We'll have first a song and then the overture to an opera called the Vampire Uh, we won't have time to hear the whole thing but we'll hear as much of it as we can And uh, well I guess that's about it We'll hear as much of it as we can
Shall I tell you of the
It was long ago
Late November and the snow Just about to fall
And the moon was big and bright Cold and sharp and clear And the moon was big and bright And the air was whiting
Softly, swiftly down the road Never made a sound Someone came from far away Someone tall and old As I looked into his eyes No reflection came
And I gave him bedding
Oh, my little Rosary
How I miss you so
Never used you very well
Now I never will I am farther from you Now
Than the two ends of eternity Now I do this bidding
[No speech for 97s.]
Buffy St. Marie singing her song The Vampire And now we're hearing the overture to The Vampire by Heinrich Marschner 1827, Schubert was still alive And so, I'm happy to report, am I? This is the BBC Philharmonic under David Perry And that's Schickele Mix for this week About time, too
Our program is made possible with funds provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting And by this radio station and its members I thank you, members, and so does Napoleon
Our program is distributed by PRI, Public Radio International We'll tell you in a moment how you can get in touch with us And you can get an official playlist of all the music on today's program With album numbers and everything
Just refer to the program number This is program number 160 And this is Peter Schickele saying goodbye And reminding you that it don't mean a thing If it ain't got that certain je ne sais quoi You are looking very good See you next week
[No speech for 69s.]
If you'd like a copy of that playlist I mentioned
Send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to Schickele Mix That's S-C-H-I-C-K-E-L-E, Schickele Mix Care of Public Radio International 100 North 6th Street, Suite 900A, Minneapolis, MN 55403
PRI, Public Radio International