Every Witch Way

Schickele Mix Episode #161

Part of The Schickele Mix Online Fan Archive

Premiere
1998-07-15
“Peter, are you ready?”
Ready and willing.

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Transcript

[This is a machine-generated transcript, corrected by hand and formatted as HTML. You can download the original as an .srt file.]

You are listening to member supported 89.7 KACU FM Abilene this hour of Schickele Mix provided by special friends of KACU Ready and willing. Here's the theme.
[theme: Mozart, Symphony No. 24]
Hello there, I'm Peter Schickele and this is Schickele Mix a program dedicated to the proposition that all Musics are created equal, or as Duke Ellington put it, if it sounds good, it is good. And it is good that our bills are paid by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and it is good that this fine radio station chips in, and it is good that the program is distributed by PRI, Public Radio International.
But you can't talk about good without also talking about evil. I don't know if that's true, but it sounds good.
What's the name of that early Clint Eastwood movie, The Good, The Bad, and The Morally Ambiguous? Well, that's a good description of the subject of today's program, which is witches. I like that, witches, witches. It reminds me of that game, you know, what's the greatest number of successive repetitions of a word you can have in a coherent sentence?
The answer I remember is it's a sentence about correcting a grammar exam in school, you know, and it goes, where John had had had, Jane had had had had, had had had had the approval of the teacher. Did you follow that? Jane had had had had, had had had had the approval of the teacher. That's eight hads in a row. Divided, it's true, by a semicolon, but that is definitely a legitimate semicolon, because it...
Oh, come on! I know it's irrelevant, but can't we have a little fun here? I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that question. But speaking of fun, in preparation for this show, I went out and bought a recording of the opera Hansel and Gretel. It's a Phillips recording, and it's, you know, one of those boxes with a couple of CDs in it.
And I opened up the box and there, in addition to the two CDs in the booklet, was a plastic bag with the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I guess the idea is that your kids can work on the puzzle while they're listening to the opera, right? Well, that's a nice idea. And it occurs to me that the recording companies are missing out on a terrific marketing gimmick here. This could really be extended to all sorts of operas.
I mean, Joseph and the amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat could have a coloring book in it, and let's see, the box would have to be a bit larger than usual, but Fidelio could come with prison chains. Kids would love that. Pagliacci, a little miniature bass drum you could bang along with the music. And it wouldn't have to only be for kids, either. I mean, Carmen worked in a cigarette factory. You open up the CD box and there's a pack of Marlboros.
Or Verdi's Falstaff contains a little can of Molson's or a Jack Daniels miniature, The Trojans by Berlioz, we'll skip over that one and move right along to, okay, Samson and Delilah, a little pair of scissors in there, hey, the possibilities are endless, and I think the recording company should get with it. Oh, here's a good one, Lohengrin, you open up the box and a swan flies out, okay, okay, back to business here, which is, as we said before, witches.
As anybody who has seen The Wizard of Oz knows, there are good witches and bad witches, but most people think of witches as bad, either actively bad or at least the bearers of bad tidings. We're going to start with a gaggle of witches, or three gaggles, actually. Scenes from three operas featuring the kind of women's group you approach with trepidation.
The first and third are thunder and lightning-type scenes. Both have shrill piccolo parts. But in the middle one, the witches, although they are completely evil at heart and born to raise hell, often sound quite jolly. They prance around going ho ho ho ho. You'd think they'd studied singing with Santa Claus. They sound like the students at a girls' school, which is where, actually, the opera was probably first performed.
It's in English, and the last selection is also in English, but don't strain yourself trying to understand the text of that one. After Hail Satan, it's mostly nonsense words. And here's the libretto for the first selection. It's, uh, hold on here. It goes, uh, these are witches. What have you been doing? Tell us. I slit the throat of a boar. And you? There crossed my mind a helmsman's wife.
That Helmsman's wife sent me to the devil, But her husband, who sets sail, I'll drown him with his ship, I'll give you a north wind, I shall raise stormy seas, I shall drive him on to shoals, And then they join hands and go into a wild dance. Our first suite is called Covenly Choruses. I'll see you in about 12 minutes.
[music excerpt: Verdi, "Macbeth," "Che faceste? Dite su!"; Ambrosian Opera Chorus/New Philharmonia Orchestra/Muti]
[music excerpt: Purcell, "Dido & Aeneas"; Nigel Rogers/Elisabeth Priday/Carol Hall/Sarah Leonard/Choir of the English Concert/The English Concert/Pinnock]
[music: Marschner, “The Vampyr,” “Hail Satan”; The Britten Singers/BBC Philharmonic/Parry]
In the Verdi, we heard Riccardo Muti conducting the Ambrosian Opera Chorus and the New Philharmonia Orchestra. In Dido and Aeneas, we heard Nigel Rogers as the Sorceress. Don't ask me why the Sorceress is being sung by a man in the baritone range. I don't get it myself even after reading the explanation in the booklet. Anyway, the English Concert and its choir were conducted by Trevor Pinnock. It's a terrific recording.
Heinrich Marschner's The Vampyr dates from 1827. Apparently Wagner admired the work. What we heard comes from the soundtrack of a British television version updated to the 1960s London art scene. We heard David Parry conducting The Britten Singers and the BBC Philharmonic. Well, I guess that...
[sound: phone rings]
I hate it when the phone rings. Excuse me.
[sound: phone rings]
Hello? Oh, yeah, that silly little game about repeated words. It was eight. The word "had" occurred eight times in a row. Oh, you have a sentence with more? Okay, what is it? No, no, a thousand times no?
Well, am I being dense here? That only has two no's in a row. Oh, come on. Give me a break. Of course, if you actually said no a thousand times, it would... You're not going to do that, are you? Will you please stop? Stop it. Hey, listen, I'm hanging up if you don't stop. Okay, here I go. I'm hanging up. Brother. Takes all kinds, I guess. Anyway...
[sound: phone rings]
Oh man, this is going to be one of those days. Hello? I can't believe this. Here, I'm going to hold the phone up to the mic.
Caller (on the phone): No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
Can you believe that?
Caller (on the phone): No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
Okay, Dr. No. I was always taught not to take no for an answer, so I'm hanging up. No kidding. Have a nice day and please don't call again.
Boy, there are some people who I wish did not have this number.
[sound: phone rings]
I don't know who he is, but I'm Peter Schickele, and the show is Schickele Mix, from PRI, Public Radio International.
Today's show is called Every Witch Way, and I was thinking about the fact that the English word hex is related to the German word for witch, which is Hexe. And it occurred to me that the word hexameter might not only mean a poetic line with six metric feet, It might also mean a device for measuring how many spells per month a given witch has cast. Can't you imagine an old hag puttering around her hut in the forest?
[muttering, as the witch]
Who is it? Hexameter reader, ma'am. Well, come right in, young man. I've been very good this month. I've only cast one spell, and believe me, he looks better as a frog than he did as a prince. Now don't you overcharge me, you young whippersnapper, or I'll... You don't scare me, ma'am. I'm bigger than you. And besides, I use Hexoff.
Hexoff? That's right, ma'am. Hexoff repels a spell before it has a chance to get under my skin.
And there's no toxic residue either so I don't have to worry about Rover licking me when I get home I feel relaxed and self-confident now that I know that any spell you try to cast will roll off me like water off a duck's back. You leave Quacksilver alone! Bye ma'am, have a nice day. Curses! Foiled by Hexoff. That's right, by Hexoff. Out!
You can't be too careful. Okay, we've heard from witches in groups. Now let's consider individual witches. Here are three songs dealing with three powerful sorcerers. The lyrics of the second number in English go like this. The pastry is ready, done to a turn. Ho, how the firewood crackles and burns!
Gretel, my sweet, you'll soon be roast meat Well, I never, very clever In the oven soon you'll look to see my biscuits cook When you're in, slam, shut the door, wham Then Gretel will be a cake for my tea The cake in little bits I'll slice With nuts and sugar, make it nice My magic oven glowing red Will turn you into gingerbread Well, I never, very clever or whoever. Hi, hi, hi, hi. In wild delight she seizes a broomstick and sits astride it. Hur, hop, hop, gallop, lop, lop, my broomstick, nag, giddyup, don't lag. And she goes on like that for a while. Three formidable sorcerers here, but they all get vanquished in the end, so their sorcery comes to naught. That's why I call this suite Witchcraft Ebbing. See you in about ten minutes.
[music: Rebennack, "Witchy Red" (Television); Dr. John]
[music excerpt: Humperdinck, “Hänsel und Gretel,” “Der Teig ist gar, wir können voran machen”; Christa Ludwig/Staatskapelle/Dresden/Davis]
[music: Arlen/Harburg, "Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead" (Ding Dong! The Witch Is Back!: The Fifth Estate, 1964-1969); The Fifth Estate]
Witchcraft Ebbing. Our suite began with Dr. John singing Witchy Red from the television album. Then, of course, the Witches Aria from Hansel and Gretel, sung by Christa Ludwig, with Sir Colin Davis conducting the Dresden State Opera Orchestra. Apparently there's been at least one production of Hansel and Gretel in which the roles of the mother and the witch are sung by the same person, illustrating Bruno Bettelheim's view that they represent the good and evil sides of the parent. That's gingerbread for thought.
Then last we heard Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead from The Wizard of Oz in the 1967 version by The Fifth Estate. By the way, does that mean anything? What does The Fifth Estate mean? You know, in the old division of classes of society with specific powers, the first estate was the clergy, the second was the nobility, the third was the commons, and the fourth was the press, the public press. What was The Fifth Estate?
The Fifth Estate. Now, the guys in that rock group were college boys. Did they just decide to be a new estate, The Fifth? Or does The Fifth Estate mean something that I don't know about? If you can enlighten me on that, please do so. You know, I like to regard this program as a fount of knowledge in general, not just musically...
[sound: phone rings]
Hold on a minute. Hello?
No, no, no, no. Sabotage. You're thinking of a fifth column. I'm talking about Fifth Estate. Okay, bye. Okay.
[sound: phone rings]
Hello? Yeah? No? Superfluous person, you're talking about a fifth wheel. That's not it, okay? Bye.
[sound: phone rings]
Hello? No, that's the Fifth Amendment, thank you. Oh, this is getting out of hand.
[sound: phone rings]
Hello? Hey, that's plausible. Yeah. The bottles you inherit when your alcoholic uncle dies. Maybe that's it. Okay, thanks. Well, it's possible. The Fifth Estate could be.
[sound: phone rings]
This has got to stop. No more calls. Oh, man. Okay, everybody, listen to this.
Caller (on the phone): No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
Can you believe that?
Caller (on the phone): No, no, no...
I'm not even going to. Man, I hope that phone stops ringing. Name and ID, that's all anybody's going to get out of me. The name's Peter Schickele, the show's Schickele Mix from PRI, Public Radio International.
Every Witch Way is the name of today's show. And you may remember back there, earlier in the show, I went for a cheap laugh by making a gratuitous slur on women's groups. But you know, I think one of the most interesting things to come out of the women's movement is the revival of the idea of witches as a positive force. Everyone, except those who think in terms of the most simple-minded stereotypes, knows that in many cultures what we call witch doctors are actually involved in healing instead of, or at least in addition to, putting bad spells on one's enemies.
Witchcraft is a matter of plugging into channels of energy that most people don't have access to. I'm not sure what that means, but some people do seem to have some kind of a gift. Now, personally, I'm a pretty rational kind of guy. Weird things don't tend to happen to me. I have a very mechanical mind when it comes to cause and effect, but I'm also in favor of humility when it comes to contemplating the extent of our knowledge.
But enough about me. What do you think of my world outlook? If we're in agreement, then it seems to you that whether or not it's taken literally in the supernatural sense, The idea of sorcery can be used whimsically, metaphorically, and even instrumentally, as in dance music for a witch.
This suite is called Whiffs of Witchcraft. It has three numbers and lasts about nine minutes, after which the spell will be broken.
[music: Williamson, "Witches Hat" (The Hangman’s Beautiful Daughter); The Incredible String Band]
[music excerpt: Moondog, “Witch of Endor,” Dance; Moondog]
[music: Donovan, "Season of the Witch" (Donovan’s Greatest Hits); Donovan]
The Whiffs of Witchcraft Suite began with Witches Hat by The Incredible String Band from their album called The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter. Then came the first section of Witch of Endor, part of a dance score that Moondog composed for Martha Graham. It was performed by a motley bunch of New York freelancers. And last was Donovan singing Season of the Witch which brings us to Tidbit Time at the old...
[sound: phone rings]
Oh, man.
Should I answer that? What if it's the no man?
[sound: phone rings]
Well, hello. It is the no man, right? But you've finished doing your sentence with the greatest number of consecutive repetitions of a word, I assume. No, no, a thousand times no. Look, I've got a... Yeah?
Okay. I like a good intellectual challenge as well as the next man. Shoot!
Okay, you're saying that I should be able to guess your name on the basis of what you've just done. Okay, fair enough. So, let's see. Okay, I'm going to guess that your name is Hal. Yes! Alright, how about that?
Well, no, I didn't use any sorcery. I just... Okay, at first I was thinking that you were going to say no a thousand times. But then I thought, wait a minute. No, no, a thousand times no, which isn't a complete sentence, by the way. Okay, okay, that's okay. But then I figured you said no, no a thousand times. That's two thousand no's plus the one at the end of the sentence.
So, I computed that you said no 2001 times and the name of the computer in 2001 is Hal, right? Okay. Well, I don't know about genius, but look, I, okay, look, I gotta, I gotta go back. Okay. Bye. Well, you lose some and you win some. Okay, where were we? Tidbit Time.
Okay, now I have to say that Tidbit Time today brings a tear to my eye. Because I'm more or less repeating the tidbit from Schickele Mix number one. This is show number 161 and way back there on show number one, I pointed out that the instrumental break In the Fifth Estate's version of Ding Dong the Witch is Dead was a bourrée by the 17th century composer Michael Praetorius, played on Renaissance instruments.
But since then, a CD has been released with everything the Fifth Estate ever recorded. And the liner notes fill in some nice details on how their big hit came to pass. I'm going to read this. As 1966 neared its end, Don Askew attended a Christmas party at which he advanced the theory that any song, properly presented, could become a hit record.
Other partygoers doubted Askew's idea and challenged him to this wager, Bet Your Group Can't Get a Hit with a Song from the Wizard of Oz Soundtrack. Askew took on the friendly wager and bounced the idea off the group. Wadhams, putting his Dartmouth education to pop music advantage, worked out an unusual arrangement. At the time, Wadhams said, I was studying Renaissance dance music. There is no happier or more entertaining music. So I thought, why not use it?
And so Wadhams embellished Ding Dong with the bourrée movement from the famous dance suite Terpsichore by the 17th century composer Michael Praetorius. For our basement demo, this is a quote, we literally dubbed the band over a full Renaissance orchestra playing the piece on an LP. Then we taped the verses and bridge from Ding Dong in the same key at the same tempo and spliced it all together. You couldn't listen to the result without laughing. Everybody knew it was a hit.
So here's the part of the Archiv LP that they dubbed over. It's performed by the Collegium Terpsichore, conducted by Fritz Neumeyer, followed by the actual demo made by the group, dubbing over the LP.
[music excerpt: Praetorius, "Terpsichore," La Bourrée (Dance Music of the High Renaissance); The Collegium Terpsichore/Neumeyer]
[music: Arlen/Harburg, "Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead" Demo (Ding Dong! The Witch Is Back!: The Fifth Estate, 1964-1969); The Fifth Estate]
The original demo for Ding Dong the Witch is Dead by The Fifth Estate with the Praetorius bourrée they so delightfully appropriated. You know in a way I like the demo better. For the released recording they brought in members of the New York Pro Musica but it's not as big a Renaissance band as on the Archiv LP and it doesn't have that great rasping bass instrument that's on the LP. Okay we gotta get on our broomsticks here. We're going to go out with some Mendelssohn.
As much as we can hear of the overture to Die erste Walpurgisnacht, a cantata or oratorio or whatever it is based on a Goethe poem about the first Walpurgis night, which is May Day Eve. May Day Eve is not a cry of help from Adam. It's the night before the first of May, when in German tradition all the witches fly to a rendezvous. Christoph von Dohnányi is conducting the Cleveland Orchestra.
[music excerpt: Mendelssohn, "Die erste Walpurgisnacht, Overture"; Cleveland Orchestra/Von Dohnanyi]
And that's Schickele Mix for this week. Our program is made possible with funds provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and by this radio station and its members. And our program is distributed by PRI, Public Radio International. We'll tell you in a moment how you can get an official playlist of all the music on today's program with album numbers and everything. Just refer to the program number. This is program number 161.
And this is Peter Schickele saying goodbye and reminding you that "it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that certain je ne sais quoi." You're looking good. See you next week.
If you'd like a copy of that playlist I mentioned, send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to Schickele Mix. That's S-C-H-I-C-K-E-L-E, Schickele Mix. Care of Public Radio International, 100 North 6th Street, Suite 900A, Minneapolis, Minnesota, 55403.
Announcer: PRI, Public Radio International.