Galloping Comedians (KABALEVSKY arr. MURAD) Performer: Harmonicats Times to Remember (Home Shoppe A21095)
Invention No. 14 (J. S. BACH) Performer: John Bullard The Classical Banjo (Dargason Music DMCD 115)
Overture No 2 in B minor, Bandinerle (J. S. BACH) Performer: Ulrich Herkenhoff, panpipes/Amati-Ensemble München/Balough The Art of the Pan (Koch 3 1532 2)
Well, hello there. I'm Peter Schickele, and this is Schickele Mix, a program dedicated to the proposition that all musics are created equal. Or as Duke Ellington put it, if it sounds good, it is good. And we've got such a good deal here. By we, I mean you and I both, because the show is distributed by PRI, Public Radio International, and our bills are paid by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and by this daring, discerning, and deserving radio station which provides me with this state-of-the-art studio, except for the rotary dial phone, and doesn't charge me extra if I bum a paper clip off someone or even a rubber band. They treat me right here, folks, and you should treat them right. If you're listening, you should be supporting. Not only do you hear a truly staggering variety of music on this show, but you also hear the truly momentous issues of today's cultural life being discussed.
Issues like, should there be a fourth tenor? Were Toscanini's tempos so fast because in those days you couldn't get as much music on a record as you can now? And just what percentage of your total yearly income should a single opera ticket be?
and the most overreaching issue of them all, Whither Classical Music and Who Wants to Know? Many people feel that classical music is in a state of crisis, that it isn't as much a part of the fabric of our culture as it used to be. Today's show is called Classical Music, Say What? And I'd like to hear from you about what you think can be done to make this great, rich and varied legacy more relevant, by which I mean sell better.
Call me. Fax me. Email me. I want to hear from you. And so I shall. Hello? Hi, Glowinda. What do you do for a living?
You teach music appreciation at the College of Rodeo Arts in Driggs, Idaho. Okay. I've been there. I love that country. So what's your new approach to the problem of increasing awareness on an instrument of the people?
You mean as opposed to violins and pianos, right? Okay. What do you consider to be an instrument of the people? The harmonica. Okay. Well, Glowinda, it's a good idea, but it's been done. It's been done lots. Like, for instance, the
[music: Kabalevsky arr. Murad, "Galloping Comedians" (Times to Remember); Harmonicats]
Harmonicats, playing Galloping Comedians, as it's called here, by Kabalevsky. There have actually been harmonicaists, harmonikers, who have concentrated, unlike the Harmonicats, on classical music. Larry Adler, Tommy Reilly. Hello?
What? You don't think harmonica is an instrument of the people? Pseudo-folk, huh? Portable pipe organ. Well, yeah, I guess it is. Musical slumming. Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on. I get the idea.
As far as you're concerned, it's no longer an instrument of the instrument of the working poor. So what do you, what's your name? Okay, Henry Cabot Lodgepole III, what do you think is a real people's instrument that hasn't been used to play classical music yet?
Well, I hate to tell you, HCL3, but it has been done. Not as often as harmonica, it's true, but, well, listen to this.
[music: J. S. Bach, Invention No. 14 (The Classical Banjo); John Bullard]
Invention No. 14 by Johann Sebastian Bach, played here on the banjo and the harp guitar by John Bullard and Steve Bennett. You see folks, it isn't that easy to come up with an instrument that hasn't been used for classical music, one way or another. Even instruments from outside the American Western European tradition have been used, such as the pan flute, sometimes called the pipes of Pan, that has been around for centuries in Eastern Europe and South America.
[music excerpt: J. S. Bach, "Overture No. 2 in B minor, Badinerie" (The Art of the Pan); Ulrich Herkenhoff, panpipes/Amati-Ensemble München/Balogh]
The last movement of Bach's Overture, or Orchestral Suite No. 2 in B minor, played by the Amati-Ensemble München under Attila Balogh, with Ulrich Herkenhoff playing the panpipes. Well, as great as that sounds, I'm not sure that playing its most famous pieces on instruments other than what they were written for is going to save classical music. If, indeed, it needs saving.
Now this radio station may not need saving, but it does need help, and it needs your help, due to a tragic oversight when public radio was accidentally left off of King Midas's will.
As things stand now, individual listener contributions are the single most important source of income for this station. Even your basic membership category, without the added three million dollars that some of us feel we can't afford, at least until after the kids are out of college, even your basic membership contribution will boost station coffers, morale, and immunity from severe attacks of dollar deprivation.
Put your money where your ears are, and do it now, as in right now. Here's someone to tell you how.
Station announcer: And thank you, Peter Schickele. The number to call is 337-482-5787, 482-KRVS.
Okay, here we are. And we're talking about ways to re-energize classical music, or any way to bring it to an audience that didn't grow up with it.
And during that break a couple of faxes came in here. Let's take a look at them. The first one says, "Your telephonic friends have got it all wrong, Mr. Head-in-the-Sand, which figures, since they're still using the telephone. The problem is that classical music is too old-fashioned. It has to be brought up to date, and that isn't going to be accomplished by playing it on hayseed, cornball, hee-haw instruments like the harmonica and the banjo.
Yesterday's bluegrass band is today's garage band, and the instruments of the future, which is now, are electronic instruments. Get with it, Mr. Antique Store. If you don't let go of history, you'll be history." It's signed Starr Chambers. I don't know if that's a man or a woman. Two Rs on Starr. But, uh, well, maybe s/he is right. Maybe this is the way to go.
[music: J. S. Bach, "Two Part Invention in A Minor" (Bachbusters); Don Dorsey]
The Two Part Invention in A, from a CD called Bachbusters, the music of J. S. Bach as realized by Don Dorsey on digital and other authentic period synthesizers. Very peppy, lots of zing. Maybe that is the path. Well, let's look at this other fax here. It says, "Wake up, sleepyhead. Classical music is like the dinosaurs, except at least the dinosaurs had the grace to lie down and die. Rock and roll is where it's at, and where it'll always be at. How can you expect an audience to go into a big venue like Carnegie Hall and then not even bother to mic the instruments? Not one mic, I couldn't believe it. Acoustic instruments are fine, man. I think, you know, he means that in the vernacular. Acoustic instruments are fine, man.
Some of my favorite albums are unplugged, but that doesn't mean no mics. I mean, that's being just plain lazy or stingy. I don't know which. Either way, it's irresponsible. There should be ten mics on the timpani alone. If you can only hear it, it ain't there. You gotta feel it in your gut. Turn Bach into rock, then maybe somebody'll listen."
Signed, Excreta, lead singer of Detritus. Okay, well, I guess she means something like this.
[music: after Bach, "Joy" (Soundtrack for “Boogie Nights”); Apollo 100]
Apollo 100, based on Bach's Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring, that's from the soundtrack album from Boogie Nights, and I'll tell you a little story about that, when the movie came out, several friends told me that the New Yorker review of it mentioned P.D.Q. Bach, so I looked it up, and sure enough, it's said that when the Mark Wahlberg character goes back to his room, he puts P.D.Q. Bach on. And I figured, well, they probably do that to show what a nerd he is, basically.
So when I saw the movie, you know, I was curious why I hadn't heard about this from my publisher, because they're supposed to clear that. So when I saw the movie, that scene comes, and of course, it isn't P.D.Q. Bach at all. It's the cut we just heard. And my theory is, now I don't know this for a fact, it's my theory, but it is mine, that the movie reviewer, like lots and lots of people before her, confused P.D.Q. Bach with Switched-On Bach, and then Switched-On Bach with Bach made into rock and roll, and, well, the moral is, you can't believe everything you read in the press.
Oh, okay, and here's another fax coming in here. I'll just slide over here and get it.
Okay, this looks like it's brief and to the point. It says, "Cut the horse apples, Pete. You and I both know that the only music real people listen to is country music. You put out something like Achy Breaky Heart and you'll have yourself a hit." It's signed, Handkerchief Thompson the Third. And he's got a point, too. You know, maybe this is what symphony orchestras should be playing.
Wildwood Flower and Joy, that is, Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring, from the priceless LP, Classical Country, with Snuff Garrett's Texas Opera Company. Help! Too many choices here. How to serve the classics. Too many approaches. But there's one decision that's easy. In fact, it's a no-brainer. And that is whether or not to support this radio station. The answer is yes, and the time is now.
You know, I'm old enough to remember the days before public radio. And believe me, it's better now. Hey, anybody who listens to this program knows that I don't mean that there's nothing good on commercial radio. I just mean that most of what you hear on public radio is stuff you would never hear on commercial radio. And I do love variety.
Please, don't be an, I'll do it when I get around to it, type person. Instead, be a, well, you know what, I think I'll do it right now, type person. Do it right. Do it right now.
Station announcers: Wouldn't you like to have your own personal Peter Schickele just around all the time? He just somehow puts his finger on the emotions of the moment. And, yes, I think he's captured perfectly, you know, just what we want to say, but without having to say it ourselves. Right. And we thank him for that. That's right.
We're back, and we're trying to save classical music here. We'll figure out later if it needs saving. Now, I promised I'd take email, and I will, but I'm not too experienced at this, so I think this is how you log on here. Let's see if I've got anything. Okay.
In a computer voice: Hey, big boy, you have mail.
All right. Now we go and... Oh, okay. Here we are. Uh-oh. It's all caps. I think I'm being flamed here. Yep. Whew. It says, "You classical music geeks would make me puke if you didn't make me laugh so hard. You wouldn't know how to be popular if you had the coolest car in town.
Look at the hit parade, dodo brain. How many instrumental numbers do you see? That's right, about one every ten years, haggis head. People relate to the human voice, not to the meaningless noodlings of a bunch of over-the-hill hacks who are just killing time till they can pick up their union checks. Remember these three words, vocal, vocal, vocal. And by the way, bassoon breath, here's a rule for singers. Sing in English or go back where you came from."
That's signed, A Friend. Okay, well, I'm trying out all suggestions here, so let's, we'll do a group of three here this time, a suite. Here's an English language version of Pagliacci, a vocal version of a piano sonata, and a horn concerto with words put to it. Who knows, maybe this will increase the popularity of classical music.
[music: Maxwell/Jones, "Pal-yat-chee" (Spike Jones is Murdering the Classics); Homer & Jethro]
[music: Mozart, Piano Sonata in A Major (“Alla turca”) Finale (A Cappella Mozart); The Swingle Singers]
[music: after Mozart, "Ill Wind" (At the Drop of Another Hat); Flanders & Swann]
All right, that was Flanders & Swann, and before that, The Swingle Singers, and we began with the Spike Jones version of Pagliacci, featuring Homer & Jethro. The Swingle Singers sang the Alla Turca finale from the Mozart Piano Sonata in A minor, and Michael Flanders sang his words to the finale of one of the Mozart horn concertos. The song is called Ill Wind, from the At the Drop of Another Hat album.
Well, I don't know if we came up with a way to help classical music reach a broader audience, and I'm not talking about certain singers, but we did give it the old college try, and didn't end up, I hope, getting an E-flat for effort. That's Schickele Mix for this week. Our program is made possible with funds provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and by this radio station and its members.
Thank you members. And thank you members to be. And to be a member, remember to be quick about it, i.e. now, this minute. Our program is distributed by PRI, Public Radio International. This is Peter Schickele saying goodbye and reminding you that it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that certain je ne sais quoi. You're looking good. See you next week. And if you haven't become a member by then, I'm not talking to you. Do it now.
Station announcer: Oh, you don't want that to happen, for Peter Schickele not to talk to you. But what a great program, you know, just…