Jabberwocky for 2003 May

Thu May 01 2003 20:25: I have received a nastygram from PG&E. It states that my dog is not a safety concern, but the meter reader has a difficult time because she tries to escape from the yard when the meter reader leaves. And could I please put the dog "elsewhere" on the days the meter reader comes.

I don't know what I'm going to do about that.

Fri May 02 2003 14:49: Graded placement essays until early afternoon. I think there are not enough English teachers on the face of this earth to give some of those people the help they need.

Sat May 03 2003 13:15: I spent the morning pulling weeds and thinking of Big Louie Grenouille, who used to live in our swimming pool. Eventually he went through the filter and became Big Louie Sushi, at which point he no longer lived [in the pool].

I betcha Big Louie would eat the snails.

Sat May 03 2003 13:16: I realize I probably didn't spell grenouille correctly. Did you expect me to?

Sat May 03 2003 18:50: a SNAIL came into the house today, and I didn't see him/her and stepped on him/her with my stocking feet. !!! I say him/her because snails are both. Didja know that? Yes, it's true. You only need one of them to start an invasion.

Sun May 04 2003 19:45: Today for dinner I ate a squash from my garden. (Yes!) A real squash, already. It may unfortunately be the only squash because the plant looks like it is dying. I think I will try to replant some of the garden when I get back from Texas. (The garden has been dogged.)

Mon May 05 2003 18:26: Today, graded English 60 exams all day. Bought shoes and dress for Joseph's wedding and got a haircut. Also I planted dichondra in the chessboard. All this stuff on my to-do list! I'm going to try to work a little of the ways down it before bedtime.

Fri May 09 2003 17:35: I am in Texas for Joseph's wedding. The bride is beautiful. I kept up with tradition and mended the wedding dress in the bathroom upstairs before the reception.

Wed May 14 2003 19:04: Happy Mothers' Day?

I was ready to spit nails on mothers day. In my sister's ward, a sweet little Patty Perfect talked. One of her quotes was to the effect that "It is the highest calling in the universe to mold another human being." Many of her other quotes were of that ilk. Things like "I will never let my children go astray." ( Does she know Satan thinks that way too?) BTW she had a 5 year old and a 2 year old, and they made the 5 year old give a "talk". That means Dad held the girl up to the mike and the mom whispered in her ear things like "I really love my mommy" which the kid then repeated practically inaudibly. Meanwhile, the two year old was dismanteling the chapel. I sat there snarling and thinking people can't really call themselves a mother at least until they've dealt with snotty preteens.

Also, they sang Love at Home for the opening song, but we were late (due to said sister's above referenced snotty preteens), so we got to miss out on that one.

Wed May 14 2003 19:16: Tomorrow, May 15, Planet X is supposed to cross orbits with Earth and cause a "pole shift" and Armageddon.

This site explains the science and debunks the rumors. http://www.planet-x.150m.com/index.html

I'm kind of disappointed. I wanted to believe in Planet X.

Fri May 16 2003 11:00: Rachel posits that the fossil record for 2003 will be a thick layer of snail shells.

I think that if that is the case, the snail shells will be covered with a thick layer of nuclear ash, making it easy for geologists to determine the year of the 2004 atomic "event."

Fri May 16 2003 11:03: I was typing merrily along and my computer went buzzt, crackle crackle snap click and then the screen died. I think it's a goner. Stephanie Hale gave me her old monitor, which I hope is going to work, but I have my doubts. It got pretty banged up riding in the back seat of the car.

Sun May 18 2003 19:58: I finally have the new monitor up and connected and running. The old one went in the trash. I've heard that you're not supposed to put them in the trash. "They explode," Jeff Minor told me. Guess what? It has already exploded. Therefore, I figured that the worst thing that can happen is the sanitation people might write me a ticket. I've gotten tickets from fancier government organizations than them!

Mon May 19 2003 22:04: I was going to get up and pull weeds and sew all day, but lo and behold I was sick all day instead. Bleah.

Tue May 20 2003 17:23: I spent most of the day at the doctor's. I'm having surgery to get the tube put in on May 30. I hope everyone who wants me to have a tube is happy about this because I'm scared.

Wed May 21 2003 14:49: Out and about. I went to Target to get baby shower presents. I also got a Lego set for Joel--something they didn't have when my kids were little. The bricks are huge. It's rated for babies 9 months and up, and has shape sorting holes in the bucket lid.

I went to Home Depot, where I participated in the new system where you "save time" by scanning your purchases. It took approximately 400% longer than having it done by a ten-fingered clerk. I had seen the article about Home Depot's new system in this morning's paper, and I figured, naaaahhh, this will never come to Bakersfield.

I also went to Vons and stocked up on groceries. There was terrible, awful, miserable road construction on Stockdale Highway and the intersection with Rio Bravo was actually blocked off. I'll have to remember that when I go to the baby shower tomorrow night.

Thu May 22 2003 16:53: I wonder... Is there some little copyright bug that eats a cdrom if it gets installed on too many computers? I lent my Quicken Family Lawyer to Stephanie, and now it won't load. I wasted part of the morning tryin to get it to do so. Yaaaahh!

Finally, I decided it would be faster to just draft legal documents and type them myself rather than mess with it. Back to old times! So I did a new will, a new advance directive, and a quitclaim deed.

Fri May 23 2003 16:48: I was heretofore under the delusion that if I spent today running around doing lawyering, I would be all finished. I no longer harbor that fond hope. The notary service took forever. I used a free coupon that came in the mail in a misguided attempt to save ten bucks, and in return had to listen to a sales spiel--our bank is better than your bank; this is a great grocery store with wonderful sales. (Said bank is inside Ralphs-Where-They-Want-Too-Much-For-Groceries.) Then she smeared the imprint of her seal on my deed.

I went to Office Depot to make copies and the copy machine ate the last page of my Advance Directive and also didn't collate and staple, even though I set the controls to do both. Finally I had to just leave the machine jammed (I cleaned out everywhere, but it still wouldn't turn back on) and use a different machine. Without a staple/collate option. So I still have that to do.

Then at the County Recorder (where I missed today's 2:00 cutoff) they gave me the third degree, a lot of tax paperwork to fill out, and complained about the notary seal being smeared. I have to do a bunch of this stuff over, and they aren't open Monday because it's a holiday. So there goes Tuesday.

Eventually, I shall triumph! I have to keep reminding myself that lawyers are $300 an hour, so I am worth that too. Would I pay $3,000 to get all this running around done for me? Not bloody likely.

Mon May 26 2003 18:27: yay! I finally found some schiffli embroidered voile that will do for the bodice inset on Susanna's wedding gown. Now if only I could get it together enough to really sit and sew all day. I keep finding myself being sick instead. Hope to finish my dress today so I can rethread with white.

Tue May 27 2003 19:50: Celebrate! My mother of the bride dress is finished. It's mint green lace and shantung, made out of tablecloths that my friend Susan made for HER daughter's wedding. She passed them on to me, and oh, well, when you are operating with very limited funds you make do! I used the shantung wrong side out for a tea-length, yolked skirt. The top is lace with the scalloped edge used as the hem. It looks just super, very elegant. We're not going to have tablecloths nearly as as fine as my dress, the tablecloths that were.

I finished it today despite an inordinate waste of time doing hurryupandwait at the hospital, getting lab work and EKG scans and being told to not eat anything after midnight.

Next I will cut into the wedding gown. There are two scary things about it (besides the price of the yardage). a) I have to seriously alter the bodice, and b) it has a waistline that drops down into a V in front and back. Waistlines like this are hard to make nicely.