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: Sometimes is a headache just a headache? I spent the night consuming copious quantities of Advil. Maybe it's not the grammar book.

: Advil. Hasn't always been around. My Understanding of the History of Analgesics. Asprin was invented in the 18-somethings, but willow-bark teas and so forth had been used by Native Americans and pioneers forever. Willow=salix=salicylic acid = asprin. Tyelenol came out when I was in college. I never thought it was all that effective, but the purported advantage of Tyelenol is it doen't upset your stomach. I have never had a problem with asprin upsetting my stomach. Advil came onto the OTC market in the middle 1980s. I think it's a wonderful drug, especially for cramps, but in retrospect, is it really any more effective for a headache than asprin? My experience doesn't think so. Therefore, why do I keep taking Advil$$$$ instead of El Cheapo? I think I'm the dupe of a marketing campaign.

: One of the student workers claims he can tell if someone is dumb or smart by the way they walk. He was standing by my window narrating his evaluations.

"Walking purposefully, eating a bananna - smart." "Wandering down the sidewalk, eating a Twinkie - dumb."

"OK," I said. "Tell me if the Vice President coming out of the Humanities Building is smart or dumb."

"That old guy? He's dumb! Lookit him rambling around holding his McDonald's cup and he still has to write stuff in a notebook after doing a job how many years? He doesn't even have a briefcase! He's the friggin' Vice President and he doesn't even carry a briefcase? What kind of Vice President is that? Dumb. Dumb. Dumb."

Then one of the girls chimed in with a comment about the combover.

Cracked me up.


© 2001-2006 Frances Whitney.