(2) Thu Jan 05 2006 13:42 Double Whammy: I haven't updated in so long, but I guess I better get back into the habit. We spent Christmas in AZ for a very long time. I was sick with something for all but the first 2 1/2 days of the trip. I lost my voice completely for 2 days and could barely talk a few days before and after. Christmas eve was very pitiful and miserable for me, lying on a blow-up mattress in the hallway upstairs b/c Lily was asleep in our room, trying to get some rest amongst the uproar of laughter coming from downstairs.

Back from AZ I think I got about 3 days in between illnesses. I guess my immune system was shot from the strep throat- or whatever it was?, because yesterday I spent praying to the porcelain god. I couldn't even keep Sprite down. However I feel better today with my Gatorade and Saltines, resting in bed. The timing for this stomach flu is bad because Aaron and I are housesitting for my mom and Ben while they attend a family reunion in Tennessee. Aaron is having to take up some slack, but Lily is being very sensitive because this morning she snuggled in bed with me and took a 2-hour nap with me. Even though I am not throwing up still, I was careful not to get too close to her.

I'll tell you what though, throwing up again like that did not make me want to think about getting pregnant anytime soon and going through all that again. I've put in my time and I really hope that my turn to get sick won't come up for another couple years.

Sun Jan 08 2006 13:59 Law of unintended consequences: While I was sick last week, one of the days I pretty much spent in bed while Lily wandered the room playing. When she became a little fussy I scooped her up and laid her in bed with me. She then proceeded to nap with me, and I was too desperate for rest and too delirious with uncomfort to realize the repercussions of my actions. Lily really enjoyed napping with me. I would look over at her with her eyes closed but she had this grin on her mouth. It was too cute, but I could just tell what she was thinking. She would open her eyes look up at me, and smile wide and lay back down and snuggle even deeper into the mattress exhaling a breath of elation. She was thinkin' "I could get used to this". Lily is not really a loner. She likes company, not necessarily attention but she wants to know I am in the room with her. So Lily took that two hour nap with me and loved every minute of it. That night she was not too happy to go to sleep by herself in the cold, lonely crib. She screamed like I had just given her eye drops and picked her nose at the same time.

It is pretty sad because I did like sharing that one nap with her. I like to snuggle. I just don't like it every night and naptime. I would like more opportunities to take naps with her but I don't want her dependent on me being there to sleep.

I did get something accomplished this week. Lily no longer uses a bottle. We have moved on to sippy cups, however she did protest. She doesn't like sippy cups as much as bottles but is getting better at drinking more. The first few days she refused to even drink that much from them.

I don't think I mentioned this, but Aunt Frances came to San Antonio for a visit during New Year's and it was very fun to be with her, hear her stories and laugh at her sense of humor. One in particular being "I remember one time praying for more faith when I realized, wait a minute...I don't want more faith promoting experiences. Scratch that one, God." I am glad she had enough strength in her to come here and back again.

(6) Mon Jan 09 2006 09:55 Brought to my attention: Aaron and I watched Emma last night. I really liked it, and it was brought to my attention that Clueless with Alicia Silverstone was based off of Emma. My family loves Clueless or at least we did...I still do. It was the only movie at Uncle Justin's condo for the longest time and might still be. So every summer when we would visit we would watch it. I thought it was clever and funny, and now I know why. Jane Austen wrote the plot. I mean you can't go wrong with Jane Austen's writing. Who doesn't love her? After reading Pride and Prejudice recently I have fallen in love with Jane's characters and writing style. It was very refreshing to feel like a teenager again with all those romantic notions that I thought I had lost.

Wed Jan 11 2006 12:37 "In a world where...": You would recognize his voice over your own grandmother. I just found this interesting because I have never put a face to the voice overs. I even wondered if he was a made up person or computer automated voice because his voice is everywhere. How does he do all those tv show commercials and trailers? I guess if that is your only job to sit in a recording studio. Don't you just love the cadence in his voice though?

(4) Wed Jan 11 2006 13:39 Kristen vs the pint: So I hear the ice cream in the fridge beckoning to me, and I say "not yet ice cream, it is too early in the day", but he won't stop. So I concede and say "ok, I'll have some", and then I find out he is playing a mean nasty joke on me and is too frozen to scoop out. So I taught him a lesson and ate the rest of him.

(2) Sat Jan 14 2006 12:10 Temper Tantrum: Ever since we have been home Lily has been going through a clingy phase. She wants me to play with her exclusively all the time now. This would be fine if I didn't have a whole house to reorganize and clean from the holidays.

She has been pulling this drama move on me lately thinking that I will feel sorry for her or something. She starts crying and then she throws herself on the floor, couch cushion, or nearest surface with the fling of her arms. Then she lies flat on her tummy crying until I go get her up. One such occasion Alyson was able to witness. We had a blow-up mattress for them while they were staying here in the living room and that just happened to be the nearest surface. So when she dove for the mattress in despair she actually bounced off the edge and fell on the floor.

I'm sorry, I just can't take those antics seriously. I mean I don't know whether to laugh or ignore. And that is not the only time. She also aims for the couch and misses and tumbles to the floor. Then I imagine she really is hurt though. I just hope this phase is just that. I really hope she doesn't pull one of those dramatic flings on the sidewalk. Stitches, ouch!

(2) Tue Jan 17 2006 10:14 MLK: I am so happy about my purchases made yesterday that I must write about them. We went to Old Navy and all their kid clothes were super cheap. I was getting fleece pants for $1.49 each so I bought like 6, and $3.00 jammies, and a couple cute nice tops for $3.00. I think I got a total of 22 things for $50. I love getting things on sale; it is one of the best feelings in the world.

We didn't do much anything else on the holiday except have dinner with friends and play games. Oh wait, I take that back. I got to have lunch with my long time elementary school friend Sandra at Olive Garden. It was fun and yummy since I hadn't been there so long.

(10) Tue Jan 17 2006 22:32 Back in the day: I really miss when Lily couldn't walk and I could just stick her in her bouncy seat in front of a Baby Einstein movie while I took a shower. Or when I didn't have to have a children's gate to hike over every time I want to enter the kitchen, to keep Lily out of such things in there (trash, Tupperware, pots, pans, and cleaning supplies). I also miss when I could leave her in a room and she wouldn’t dishevel the book shelves and tear out every cd, movie, and book in it. Or one of my other fav's: throwing all her food on the floor, every piece, every spec, every time. I really miss being able to spoon feed her and Lily liking it.

She really tried my patience today when she pulled my hair… and pulled… and pulled and pulled despite all my efforts. I know she was being naughty because she pretty much knows now that it is a no-no. When I say "be soft" she stops pulling soon after and starts petting my hair like I showed her. Not today. She was being evil and kept yanking. There is something about getting your hair pulled that makes the survival animal come out. Especially since the scalp is so sensitive to it. Needless to say I slapped her hand--the first physical discipline I have used on her. It felt good slapping her hand right after I pried my hair out of her fist, but then the guilt set in. I don't believe in physical punishments, I don't think they work. I think it teaches kids aggression is met with more aggression to fix a problem...newsflash-it doesn't work. Being the product of spanking, I am here to say that it makes you want to physically cause others pain, and you begin to like it. To clear that up: I don't actually like to spank Lily, never have wanted to go that far, but relieving my anger with physical aggression felt good, but only for that second I did it. Plus it didn't work. Lily laughed in my face, obliviously oblivious to the reality of it all, thinking it was a game, and proceeded to try and slap my arm and shoulder. Nice.

It is days like this where the annoyance list hits the max and I feel like crap for not being a perfect mom because if I am not, then my children are ruined for life and become complicated adults with irrational feelings and pent up anger. If anyone needs me, I am at the clinic getting sterilized.

(2) Wed Jan 18 2006 19:26 Fraud: Apparently, I just happened to be in Istanbul yesterday, buying furniture at furniture store. $1300 worth. That's what it said on my online account statement today. Luckily, after I called USAA they fixed the problem immediately. This is the second time credit card fraud has happened to me while living here...strange.

(1) Sun Jan 22 2006 13:50 More words: Apple, cracker, and circle.

Oh yeah, and ahh dee (all done) and wa-wa (water).

Mon Jan 23 2006 19:10 Anniversary: 4 years! We went to County Line BBQ for dinner and the movie Fun With Dick and Jane. It was good. It is nice to go on dates in the middle of the week and not just the weekend. Thanks to Jake and Erin who babysat. Now...what to do for Valentines Day?

(2) Tue Jan 24 2006 08:32 Pieces of April: Every parent should see this movie. I loved it.

(1) Sat Jan 28 2006 12:16 A good read: Screwtape Letters. It sounds so simple, but emotions are so complicated. What a testimony builder.

Sat Jan 28 2006 12:27 Give me a break: For the past week, Lily has been waking up screaming as opposed to me hearing happy chatter and giggling. She proceeds to cry through her diaper change and then until she is in her high chair with food on it. After she is done eating, not without a tantrum being thrown again, she cries to get out and then cries until nap time. Then she cries and hour after she has napped, again a half hour later, and then cries to get out after she has been in there for 2 hours--if I am lucky. Then she cries until she sees her dad right before dinner. Then dinner and then a blood curdling cry when we put her in bed. The point is, I must be holding her or reading to her or on the floor with her at all times. Even then, she still reserves the right to cry. I know she is teething which is why I give her plenty of infant Motrin, (all four molars coming in and one lower tooth in addition) but Lily, will you puh-lease stop crying?

And to top it off, Aaron has been gone all day helping a friend, and I have been alone with her again oh my helpmeet day! I should take her to the doctor Monday to see if she has an ear ache.

In other news, I have started to paint Lily's room a pale butter yellow and it is almost done. Maybe sleeping in the office is why she is so mad all the time?

(1) Sun Jan 29 2006 20:08: Things are slowly getting back to normal. I am no longer sick- something that lasted like a month. Lily's room is done. Lily is happier. I got the house cleaned up a bit. And I finally finished Season 4 of the show 24. That kept Aaron and me up late nights with its very compelling storylines. Highly Recommended.

**Note to self** Lily loves yogurt covered raisins--just like her mama--but she cannot have more than 5 per week. She has been very regular the past 5 days and she only had them one day. We're talking like 4-5 times a day regularity people and the raisins just keep on comin'.

(4) Mon Jan 30 2006 19:15 Explain to me this: Yesterday, while in the garage about to leave for church, the mousetrap went off. We have had a few mice so we have been catching them with the traps. It has been awhile since we last caught one, but sure enough upon inspection there was a mouse caught in the trap. It was a pretty clean snap. Right across the belly. It totally sicks me out to look at it let alone deal with it, so Aaron always disposes of the mice. We were about to leave so we decided to just take off and Aaron would deal with it after church.

When we arrived home, the mouse and the trap were nowhere to be seen. Aaron searched high and low and sure enough, the mouse must have dragged himself and the attached trap out of the garage, or a rescue mission was organized by the mouse's little friends. We still can't find it. I have no idea where a dead mouse could have gone in 3 hours. I am just waiting for the smell to come, which I hope it doesn't.