Tue May 02 2006 08:32: My days remind me a lot lately of a picture frame my mom used to have hanging in her laundry room. It was of a mother looking exhausted sitting with her hand to her forhead and kids all scattered around her feet making demands.

The picture read, "All Tired Out, and the days work is only halfway done." Or something like that anyway. My mantra is, "All Tired Out, and only one thing of the days work is done."

Tue May 02 2006 08:35 Happy Birthday: Michelle turned 19 yesterday!

(2) Wed May 03 2006 21:18 Family Fun: I talked to Alyson and Mom today. I'm beginning to wish I were in Bakersfield with everyone, hanging out and enjoying each other's company. I wish Frances was going to live longer because I was going to have her come watch when our second baby is born since she said she wanted to have that chance in this life. Sigh.

(4) Fri May 05 2006 20:50 'Tis true: As before told here, Aaron and I are indeed expecting. I am 8 1/2 weeks along. Mind the 1/2 week since every single day counts when you are pregnant. One more day you don't have to endure again.

However, I should not complain because this pregnancy has been merciful on me compared to my last one. Sick, but not too sick. I have been very tired and sleepy though constantly. I feel like taking a nap at 11:00 after sleeping 9 hours until 8:00. I'll take sleepy though if it means I don't have to be too miserable.

I had my first appt earlier this week. I took Lily with me because I didn't feel like calling for favors. Never again. She started crying because she thought the doctor was hurting me. I got an ultrasound and every thing looks good so far. You can barely see anything except a tiny little heart beating and a mass of a baby. It wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be for the ultrasound, because it really didn't look like anything.

My doctor also prescribed me meds for the nausea. I don't like them because they make me feel tired but not sleepy. Tired but jittery and restless. Not a fun feeling, kinda like you are on caffeine pills. I really like my doctor though and hope every thing goes smoothly.

(2) Fri May 05 2006 20:51 Full Circle: There just aren't words to describe the loss our family has had with Frances' passing today. I miss her terribly and can't wait to read all the funny conversations she had this week before passing. She squeezed every drop of life out of her weak little body.

Sat May 06 2006 21:28: It's amazing how many clothes you have that you think you don't have when you do your laundry after 3 weeks. I found jeans and shirts I forgot about.

(1) Mon May 08 2006 13:38 Good thing for me: One of the greatest inventions for a pregnant person is the Flintstone’s Gummy Vitamin. It means that I can take my yummy vitamins and not have a tummy-ache afterwards. Why do regular vitamins hurt a pregnant person's tummy? I have no idea.

But, what is an awesome invention for pregnant women is a horrid idea for children. Having given Lily the delicious vitamin, she doesn't want just one. She wants more. Please. I really want to reward her every time she asks me something nicely ending in please, but I can't with these vitamins. A child just thinks they are candy, not something that you could o.d. on and get sick. And I get a sad face when she doesn't get another one. But she gets her daily vitamins.

I could get real gummy bears to give to her when she asks for more, but then she would only eat candy, which might be a step up from a dinner she had last week. We went to Arby's and she wouldn't touch the roast beef or bread even though it was covered in cheese. So instead she ate a couple of packets of ketchup and 5 curly fries to go with her ketchup. And yet this child has consistently had 3 B.M.'s a day for the past few weeks. There's a conundrum for ya, more comes out than goes in. Explain that one to me.

Tue May 09 2006 09:43 Personal slave: Today Lily obeyed my commands when I told her to, "go get me a diaper." She has been pretty good at picking up her books too when she is told. I mean I'll take it if she puts 5 of them away and then starts to play again. I mean, why should I feel guilty that I am making her do things for me when I have to change her stinky bum 3 times a day? Too bad she is not tall enough to reach the cups, because I get really thirsty when I am pregnant.

(3) Wed May 10 2006 11:21 Nice gesture: You know when someone flashes their lights at you when they are passing? Well, it means you are either driving in the dark without lights or it means that someone is warning you that there is a cop out for the kill just ahead. Someone flashed their lights today to warn me about a cop hiding. I just thought it was really nice of them to do that. I wasn't really speeding, but I have been the victim of shoddy police work lately and I got a ticket when I wasn’t even speeding; so you can never be too careful.

(1) Wed May 10 2006 22:15 Worst morning: This morning I woke up to not one but two smoke detectors going off...at 5:00AM. One of which was in Lily's room. It turns out the batteries were low, but why did it have to be 5:00AM? So Lily came in our bed to lie down and sleep because Aaron brought her in. She laid there quietly for about an hour, then she started fully waking up. She was reaching in the dark feeling my face and my arms eventually getting brave enough to start walking around on the bed, stepping on my legs. I know she is only 20lbs, but it still hurt.

Then she gets out of bed...great. First I hear this pop pop poppoppoppop. She found her little popping push toy in the dark. Nice, hopefully she will be fine just playing while I try to rest. Then I realized the gate in the kitchen wasn't up because we take it down when she goes to bed. So next thing I hear is Lily rummaging around the pantry, and I hoped she was not in the trash eating something that could make her sick. She came back into the room with a granola bar and a package of peanut butter crackers, which I know she doesn't like a lot. She only eats the peanut butter off the cracker, but won't touch a peanut butter sandwich. Won't even taste it. Strange.

So I open the granola bar for her and she gets down and eats it in the living room, but saves enough to throw on my bed and get stickiness on it. By this time Aaron's alarm goes off and he puts her in her high chair with breakfast. By now I have been awake since 5:00AM because once I am awake lately I can't get back to sleep. That is why I take half a Unisom, but I don't want to get addicted to a sleep aid so I take one every other night. I didn't take it to say the least last night. So I am fully awake and starving yet queasy and I knew if I didn't get up and eat then, the whole day I would be sick.

The one good thing about this ordeal was that I was able to go on my walk at 8:00 and it was comfortable, instead of later and dying from the heat. Did I mention it is already in the high 90's every day now? Geez, some Spring.

Tomorrow I am off to Utah with Ben, Lorna, Amanda, and Lily for Frances' funeral. It turns out we are able to go even though we will only have one day really there. Fingers crossed that Lily is good in the car for 4 days straight practically, and that I don't miss Aaron too much.

(3) Wed May 17 2006 14:02 Sisters: I am so glad I have sisters. Otherwise, I would have the same old clothes. After going through Julie's D.I. pile I left with a suitcase that was literally 50 lbs of clothes. Granted I had clothes from when I came to Utah, but still. I went through and picked out about a 1/3 of what Julie was throwing out. I don't know what I would do without the shop of Julie, Michelle, and Lorna hand-me-downs.

(5) Wed May 17 2006 14:36 Vacation--I think: I am glad I got to make Aunt Frances's (with an apostrophe s, as directed by whatever source it was Dave Matkin found proving Ben right that you do write it how you say it) funeral. Otherwise, I would have regretted it the rest of my life. Ben Taylor was very kind, and made sure I was comfortable the whole drive up to Utah. Lily did fine, she could have been a lot grumpier, so I am glad we survived.

Lucky for me, however, Ben insisted that he fly Lily and me back to TX. Maybe he didn't remember well enough just how much "fun" (my euphemism for just like a shotgun blow to the head) it is to travel with kids. Lily did act weird the whole trip, not really talking as much as she did and she was too shy to do her song and dance for everyone on demand, and she didn't stray to far away from me. She still is acting a little clingy.

I got to stay with Dad when I got there, and it was way fun because everyone stayed there the first night practically. A big slumber party. Dad had just gotten back from China from a business trip, and he gave the kids DVD's he had gotten for a dollar each. I got 25 of them and some of the movies I have aren't even on video. Hopefully they all work. I also had my fix of Cafe Rio first thing we got there in case the chance didn't come up again. The fajita chicken salad is something I wish I had here especially for my pregnancy.

The funeral was too good for words. Booner watched Lily graciously and met us at the burial then back to the church for lunch. Afterward, most everyone went to SLC to see Uncle Jon's banjo that is displayed in the Church History Museum for winning the best something award, but I was so exhausted I had to stay and take a nap. I had a relaxing night at Dad's with Alyson, Dave, and the boys, Michelle, Dad, Jan, and of course Winger's. The other thing I wanted to eat while in Utah. Winger's salad and wings. If you have never been pregnant, you have to realize a pregnant women's world revolves around food. In the mornings I have to force myself to fix Lily's breakfast first before devouring the 9 pieces of toast or whatever I eat for breakfast. It turns you into a moody bottomless pit.

The next day was Sunday, and I would have felt guilty missing church on Mother's Day so I went and came home early so Lily and I could get our beauty sleep. We had a BBQ for dinner with everyone and Rachel and Leonard came over for a bit. I am glad we got to spend some extra time with cousins because I don't get to see them much. Julie's boyfriend Ben came over too.

Monday I packed to leave, barely fitting all my *new* clothes in my suitcase, and having to leave my shoes behind for David to bring in a couple weeks. Dad and I met up with Dave and Aly and the boys at the Famous Red Iguana for lunch. Their salsa was very good. My enchiladas were pretty good too. Their famous mole was ok; I couldn't decide if I liked it or didn't prefer it. After having some of Aly's and burping the flavor up on the plane, I decided I just don't like mole. I guess that means I am not cultured. I almost had a heart attack because I was running late to the airport, but my flight was delayed an hour and 20 minutes so it turned out ok. After the first leg, I wanted to leave Lily on the plane, but then she made up for it the second (longer) leg by sleeping the whole time. I think I reinjured my tailbone holding her while she slept, but the pain was worth her being still and quiet for everyone else's sake.

After I got home Aaron took me out for a Mother's Day dinner and gave me a very special card. Aaron took his last final today and we have 2 whole months to relax.

(1) Sat May 20 2006 10:37: Yesterday, Aaron and I bought Lily a set of 10 chunky books from Costco for the amazing price of $12.99. We have already gotten our monies worth since Lily has not had any other book in her hand since 4:00 pm yesterday. She loves her new books and wants us to read them to her back to back to back. She is pretty good at pointing to everything on the pages. She is such a curious girl.

She is also not to be trusted in the mornings anymore. Every time we put her to bed in jammies that button, in the morning she has popped all her buttons open and taken her diaper off. This morning when I went to get her she had taken her diaper off, and to my surprise, yet I wasn't really surprised, she had laid a load on the left side of her crib. She didn’t get too much of it anywhere else, just a little on her toes and on her blanket "ainky" as she calls it. Oh well, she needs new jammies anyway.

(2) Tue May 23 2006 09:37: I remember thinking last time I was pregnant if I was ever going to feel normal again. After Lily was born, I did get to feel normal again, so at least I know I can. I just can't help but think that still when everyday I feel like external forces are controlling me and my body.

Thu May 25 2006 10:41 All in a day's work: I really like having people come stay with me because then it forces you to clean your entire house at once. You have to do it and you have a deadline.

Last night I found a scorpion in my kitchen. It ran into the sliding glass door frame and I thought I killed it when I opened the glass door. It turns out it wasn't smashed because I saw it again in front of my room when I was going to put away laundry. I trapped it under a cup and when Aaron got home he tried to make me kill it. I may kill the spiders for him but I will not kill scorpions. Especially two inch ones. So it is still under a plastic cup, now on top of a paper plate on our kitchen counter. Nice.