Sunny 9 for 2009 November 21 (entry 0)

< for your eyes only

[Comments] (5) On death and dying: Nothing prepared me for the day one of my kids asked me why do people die?, so naturally when Lily asked me that question I was dumbstruck. We decided to buy the new Pixar movie Up. It came highly recommended by many people including Louise, who is a very tough critic. She rarely thinks anything is "really good" so I thought it really must be good.

Aaron popped it in for the kids. I was puttering around, getting things done, and still haven't seen it. It wasn't until the next day while Gunnar was napping, and Lily was watching it as I was doing the dishes. When all the sudden I heard this sad little voice and teary eyed girl peeking over the arm of the sofa almost begging me mommy, I don't want you to die. Why did Ellie have to die? When will she be back? I want Ellie to come back. I don't want you to leave. Why do people have to die? Where do people go when they die? I felt ill prepared to answer all these abstract questions in a way a 5 yr old would understand. All I could do was hug her and cry on each other's shoulder. I know it was wrong, but I promised her I wouldn't die, at least anytime soon. She was so sad and I wanted to reassure her and make her feel better.

Death is such a difficult topic and I think it is every child's worst nightmare. We talked about heaven and the resurrection and eternal families and I think we both felt better. It made me remember life is short and fragile and as a result I have not yelled at my kids as much this past week. I used to ask my mom what would you do if I died? And she would always say I would spank your little bottom. Death is something I struggle with and definitely don't want a lesson on it anytime soon. So the moral of the story is if you watch Up with your kids you might have to explain the mysteries of the universe with your kids.


Posted by Melissa J at Sat Nov 21 2009 19:23

Good to know! I haven't seen it yet either, but planned to buy it for Christmas since everyone seems to LOVE it. Thanks for the heads up!

Posted by Mandee at Sat Nov 21 2009 19:33

Oh my goodness! I totally know how you feel! We went through this a couple of months ago when matt's grandpa died. It was SO HARD trying to teach the kids about death. really- i hated it.
they get sad at that part in UP too. we just try to remind them that ellie had a long fun life with her husband ( i forgot his name!) and that she now lives with Heavenly Father and is waiting for him!
ah- you're makin me cry kristen! LOL!

Posted by Julie at Sun Nov 22 2009 21:41

This post made me cry!
I also love the movie UP. I can't wait to start building my children's movie collection.

Posted by melissa w at Mon Nov 23 2009 20:38

what a sweet moment you two had.
i used to be terrified that my parents would die and leave me, probably b/c my mom's mom died when she was 14 and my mom talked about her mom all the time.
anyway, those are really tough questions. And, luckily the church HELPS with those, but still, it doesn't makes us all feel TOTALLY better in the end. It's still hard and sad for people to die.

wow. who knew UP could create such conversations?

love that movie, though. it's a good one.

Posted by Joseph D. Walch at Thu Dec 03 2009 09:55

What Pathos! I think Up is the perfect movie to introduce the topic of death and life.

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