(3) Thu Jun 01 2006 10:00 PST You talk my ear off, and I'll do yours: I wonder is other people get as bored by my topic as I am by theirs. Like, "who is this girl, and why is she so obsessed with Serbia? Who cares about Serbia? Women in Serbia in 1915 is possibly the most boring topic ever."... And only when I mention Winston Churchill and the Dardenelles campaign does anyone perk up. But I can't bring myself to care about McClellen. Not even enough to find out if that is how you spell it. I rejoice in the fact that the research methods class is over and I never have to hear about McClellen again.

On a related note, if you are tired of hearing/reading me talk about Serbia, than you might as well break off the relationship now because that is all I am going to talk about for the next...ever.

(5) Mon Jun 05 2006 20:04 PST *whine*: Today is a month since mom died, and I would just like to point out that I am having a crappy day. Probably made even worse by the fact that I just got back from an awesome weekend. Class was fine and everything, but I'm not in the mood to make myself concentrate on schoolwork, which means that I pretty much have nothing useful to do other than polishing the handles on the kitchen cupboards and I don't want to do that either. Tomorrow is election day and I haven't figured out who I am voting for, and since I've pretty much ignored all the propaganda I don't know what I'll do. Maybe moveon.org has a voting guide for me on the website. They probably do but I haven't been reading the emails, shame.

When I went on campus today I saw a bunch of kids playing on campus--their school must be out, but their parents' school isn't, yet. It reminded me of when I was a little girl tagging along to her mommy's classes at CSUB. I lost a pound puppy out by the lake-ish thing I walked by today. Seeing the kids there brought it all back and when I got to office hours I had to leave for a minute and come back before I could talk. I really wish I were the type of person who could hide from one kind of thought with another, but right now I don't want to think at all, and I can't concentrate. PH was nice enough to invite me to eat after class, and we talked about my trip and things to do, how to avoid getting sick, and I got to play with Lily. I wonder if I ought to just pick up a book now, even if its not exactly school-related, instead of sitting here all night wondering what to do and letting the whole thing go completely to waste. I want to read Rebecca West's Black Lamb and Grey Falcon before I go, but I don't think I'll have time and of course I don't have it, due to the ban on buying new books till I am done reading the ones I have. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel more up to working on my paper. I have to get cracking because it needs to be done this week.

(4) Tue Jun 06 2006 10:26 PST But nothing can stop a hungry cat (and Tonks is always hungry): I just let Tonks out and now he is crunching away at the cat food. Did I let him in without remembering it? Does he know a secret way back into the house? Am I going crazy?

(2) Tue Jun 06 2006 12:09 PST There's always something to relate to: Instead of Rebecca West, last night I read a bit of Lauren Willig's Masque of the Black Tulip.

Men come and go, manuscripts remain constant. Or something like that.

Wed Jun 07 2006 15:03 PST Finals week: I have never seen this many people in the CSUB library, ever.

I came because I thought I would be able to concentrate on my paper better. Who am I kidding? The internet still exists to distract me.

Also: I'm not alone! There are a pile of books on Yugoslavia on a nearby table. Someone else is interested in Yugoslavia enough to do a paper on it!

(1) Thu Jun 08 2006 17:17 PST Bah: Final over and done with. I hope my rant against totalitarianism and how it destroyed the lives of the authors of all five books we read counts as an essay. Now for a paper-writing marathon. I'm still having trouble concentrating, so that should be fun. It's officially due on Saturday and I had high hopes... but now I can't remember when she said was the last I could turn it in. Tuesday? I only want to take one incomplete, so I am doing as ever much as I can. After this I will only have one paper, and I can get to work on finishing the article for PK. Then I can not think for two months. *Basks in the thought*

(3) Fri Jun 09 2006 11:33 PST History & other stories: The internet hates me, but in a way it is good to have it out for most of the day as there are then less distractions, but I do feel so cut-off from the world. Still, I finished The Masque of the Black Tulip last night when I was done working, instead of doing nothing online. Sometimes I wonder if Lauren Willig isn't too clever for her own good. It rather makes it seem as though she is trying too hard which is always annoying. Still I am excited for the next book, because it looks like it will be at least partially set in Ireland, and I think the main couple will be Geoff and Jane, what do you think Susie? I always really enjoy the parts about Eloise, the history student and researcher, as I can often relate to them.

I am finding some interesting things in my research. For example, here is a little note that Christabel Pankhurst wrote to one member of the War Council in Ocotber, 1915:

"I am glad to know that you feel so strongly about Serbia. Sir Edward Grey’s crimes against Serbia has put the Empire in danger and has stained our national honour with a stain that cannot be wiped out..."

I think it might be necessary to make my own research trip if I am going to continue along this path. There are a lot of things published, which is fortunate, but there are also a lot of things that aren't. including top secret war office type-stuff, and who knows I might make some exciting discoveries. There are also some juicy tidbits at the IWM that await being used for something good... like my thesis...

Edit: Heh. The French foreign minister's name is Declassé. How... déclassé.

Fri Jun 09 2006 18:17 PST L'internet: The internet really does hate me. I spent quite a while on the phone with an AT&T tech support guy yesterday and he made me unplug all the phones & filters but no give, and it went out again today even earlier than the last two days. They said they could send out a guy to fix it, free if it's an AT&T problem, but will cost at least $60 if it's our problem, and that seems like an awfully big risk for internet I'm using at most for another month. So I think I will just cancel it and demand to not have to pay for this month (ha!) and do without. It will be good for me...

At the very least it will mean I get out more. Now I have retreated Dagny's, seeing as the CSUB library keeps ridiculous hours even during finals week, have a shield of earphones and provisions of an italian soda, and am about to retreat again into the mysterious events that besieged the War Council in 1915. Serbia is more inter-related with the Dardanelles campaign than previously suspected. When I figure out what I think if Winston Churchill, I will let you know.

Mon Jun 12 2006 09:28 PST Ahh, the joys of procrastination: With the internet down, as it so often is these days, what do I do when I don't want to work on my paper? Why, read Chronicle of Youth which, incidently, is for another paper.

Mon Jun 12 2006 13:11 PST War council politics is more like junior high than anything else: One thing I have discovered while working on this paper is it is impossible to say, Lloyd George and Churchill generally agreed with one another and disagreed with Lord Grey and Asquith. There is no generally speaking. Lloyd George agreed with Asquith on this issue but disagreed with him on almost every other one, and Lloyd George and Grey wanted the same thing (sometimes) but for different reasons. Lloyd George and Churchill agreed on Serbia but disagreed on the proper way for doing it. Six months later they all changed their minds, and came home & wrote in their diaries mean things about the person they were supposedly "closest" too. And this is all within the context of one tiny issue of policy. Well perhaps not tiny... All in all I am glad I have not chosen to make political history my main field. What I am wanting is a well-done history a la Macmillan's Paris 1919. All the ones that exsist are too specific on the wrong topics for me.

Tue Jun 13 2006 08:57 PST Typo: "Serbian Relief Fun" should be "Serbian Relief Fund."

Tue Jun 13 2006 11:41 PST Small rant: I wish I could use < block quote> in MS word. It's impossible to get to formatting right.

(2) Wed Jun 14 2006 11:14 PST x-me: I finally got fed up with the internet and called to cancel. They are stopping billing today and disconnecting it Friday. Of course now it is working again but for how long? I decided I could live without it to save $50. It will be good for me. In other news I finished my paper and now I'm sick of the word diplomacy. I went to see X-men in celebration with friends & it seemed the like the word "diplomacy" is thrown about like... a thrown-about thingie. That movie has seriously the BEST dialogue ever. I have never seen any X-men movies nor do I know anything about it except that Ronnie was the blue guy (the diplomat!) for halloween last year. So I sat next to Chris and asked questions/make snarky comments the whole time, and we got yelled at by our neighbors who were clearly trying to enjoy a good quaility film. Trying very hard. I must have missed Chris, who was gone for like a month in Europe, because I didn't mind the puns so much. I don't mean to be too overly hard on X-men, I was actually much more entertained than I thought I would be. I was considering just coming home to read but I am glad I went to the movie.

Today I am going to a wedding. It makes me feel so old to be going to my friends' wedding.

(3) Fri Jun 16 2006 13:56 PST Spam: I love the emails like this:

No more excuses, today is the day you get that degree

I am now officially internetless at the house, so I will have to rely on Dagny's and the library and kind friends. Considering my permit expires today (I came to return all my books) it will probably be more of the first and third.

Thanks to a friend of a friend of dear Jessica, I now have a contact at the Belgrade embassy, probably someone to put me up in Sarajevo, and potential travel buddies to Dubrovnik. This is so awesome! Now I have done a fair bit of relaxing and fun times since I finished the one paper (friendies from the bookstore's wedding, street fair, hanging out, etc etc) I need to buckle down and get started on the next two projects I have to finish before I go.

Mon Jun 19 2006 17:19 PST Internet Cafe: Procuring internet is more difficult than expected. I am at the Spotlight cafe now because the Dagny's internet wasn't working. At least I can be grateful that I live closer to downtown than school so I can spend my $1.50 internet fee on an Italian soda or brownie instead of parking. I think this place is technically closed but there are theatre people about and I still feel reasonabley at home here so I am staying for the time being, though I am feeling so tired... And some of my emails require thought to be answered, so now that they are downloaded I can answer them at home & send them tomorrow. Or sometime. Perhaps it is good training for when I will have sporadic internet on my travels. Something like three weeks till I leave, and still so much to do--yikes! I spent much of today reading Vera Brittain's war diary, which is somewhat depressing. This rambling should stop now...

Sun Jun 25 2006 17:10 PST Still alive: I only get internet at intermitent moments & never seem to do anything productive with it. Lots of fun last few days. Much-anticipated Fiona Apple concert plus some unexpected things. Bought a backpack. Less than three weeks before I leave! Lots of work to do but we are getting there.

Wed Jun 28 2006 12:06 PST Bah: I wish I'd have known about this when I booked my flight: http://www.exitfest.org/