(1) Fri Sep 01 2006 00:22 PST Thanks a lot, jet lag: I did the worst thing you can possibley do and laid down for a little nap at 5... and just woke up. I can only hope I'm still tired enough to sleep through the night.

(1) Fri Sep 01 2006 23:56 PST sooooo Tired: I have done nothing but sleep for the last 2 days. I slept all day today, then met Gabe for dinner, and now I am so tired I'm going to sleep again. Somehow I don't think this is normal jet lag--aren't you supposed to be awake sometime? Maybe I am just worn out.

Rufus keeps trying to drink from my water glass. I don't know why because he has a glass of the exact same water (yes, he drinks from a glass) downstairs. Last night in the middle of the night (or was it the middle of the day?) he knocked it down & spilled water everywhere... including my computer... but it only got a little wet and I wiped it off right away so I think it's ok. New battery!

Sat Sep 02 2006 09:07 PST Clumsy: When Rufus isn't knocking over the glass of water, I am. Maybe it's time to buy some bottles? (or sippy cups?)

Sat Sep 02 2006 14:50 PST Grr: Trying to upload my pictures and getting very frustrated with Yahoo photos. Technology in general in not cooperating with me right now so maybe I'll just turn off the computer and read.

Sun Sep 03 2006 23:38 PST Blah blah blah: Apparently cheetos and chocolate digestives don't make the best dinner.

All this fussing about photos makes me wish I could afford to get all my APS negatives digitized.

Slowly I'm getting back on my feet. Actually ordered some books I need for the paper I'm supposed to be writing these two weeks.

I think Rufus is sick.

And other thoughts. That I don't remember at the moment.

(3) Mon Sep 04 2006 20:41 PST Futurama: Spent this evening researching for phd programs by looking at staff research interests at various universities. I really want somewhere with someone good in gender, first world war, AND south-east europe (britain is a given, I think) but it looks like I'll only be able to get that in places like oxford, cambridge... maybe birkbeck. yale. I guess the whole thing with picking a topic no one's doing is that no one's doing it. A lot of the schools I looked at had one or two but not all three. I guess I'll just have to decide which is most important. I have to do all this early on because the application deadlines are soon for scholarships. The only real ones are the big name really competetive ones like Marshall & Fullbright. But, like everything else, someone has to get it, so why not me? After all, I'm doing a very original topic.

(1) Tue Sep 05 2006 05:54 PST Awake at 4:40 : With all kinds of thoughts running through my head. The one that finally made me turn on my laptop was that I could make a chart comparing all the schools I might apply to. But then I remembered that I don't have word on this computer. Maybe I'll try to go back to sleep. It's amazing how fast one's life can go from really exciting to really boring.

(3) Wed Sep 06 2006 14:29 PST More findings: The University of Liverpool has a surprising number of good & relevant historians: David Dutton & some others I've never heard of till now, AND an archivist program. Is Mark Mazower at Birkbeck or Columbia? He has staff pages at both, but the Columbia one is updated with more recent publications, and the link to his at Birkbeck isn't on the staff page, so... Shame. The combination of him and Joanna Bourke would sell any school to me, and BIRKBECK. I think Margaret Higonnet is retired, otherwise Conneticut would be even more tempting, but still, Janet Watson, AND she's the grad coordinator. But I reaaallly want to go to the UK. And my observation still stands that if I want someone good in all three fields, I'll have to go to a big name school, Liverpool being the exception. Maybe that can be my backup. It would be even better to find a univerisity that offers serbian language courses. I'm still hunting, and I've discovered google spreadsheets. the real drawback is you can't add to a box, you have to type over what you've already put in it. And while I'm complaining, why isn't there a slot in Librarything to put how much you've paid for a book? Some of us like to keep track of that kind of thing. AND I wish this new yahoo photos would come to my account already. It's supposed to be good and I'm worried it will suddenly arrive and have some new solution for something I just spent the whole previous day doing the hard way. I'm working on an abridged album for my trip.

(2) Thu Sep 07 2006 19:58 PST Lalalalala: I'm going to be an auntie!

Thu Sep 07 2006 20:45 PST Bookoverload: In a fit of productivity I discovered that the Times Literary Supplement on which I had banked so much of my paper is available at the SF public library, so that's where I went today. I took the MUNI because, hey, it's fun, and $3 is less than I would have paid for parking. Books! Everywhere! Books and more books... that I would actually want to read. Books for the taking, for free. That's the kind of library that makes the theory of libraries actually work, unlike some *coughcsubcough*. Most libraries have shelves with books and some empty spaces. Not this one. There were book carts on the edge of every row where they put the books they don't have room to cram on the shelves. Actually, it was a bit disorganized and made the ocd bookshelver in me tick a little, btu mostly I gazed in wonder and killed lots of time wander aimlessly through travel and history.

The TLS let me down a little bit, but I did find a few useful things (it's not an academic library, after all). However, I wasn't able to check any of them (here is where the libraryness theory breaks down) because technically you are supposed to be a resident of San Francisco to be a member, and techically, I'm not. I do think I have a paper that will do the trick, but I didn't have it with me, so I had to leave all the lovelies behind. I was even going to check out the Testament of Youth videos to watch, for kicks. I'll have to go back. Espcially since the copy machines weren't working so I didn't copy some of the reviews. But still, there was free internet, and it was great for people watching. Lots of homeless people. It seems to be trendy amoung homeless people in SF to have backpacks instead of shopping carts.

I bought some small consolation presents at the Friends of the library bookstore, and took myself out to a sushi restaurant I found on citysearch.com, since I've been craving sushi since about Greece, and now I'm happy as a clam, or perhaps a spicy tuna. I noticed a Mediterranean restaurant, also, so maybe I will go when I go back, and see if I can get the falafel I unsucessfully hunted for all over the Aegean.

Sat Sep 09 2006 18:02 PST Long way home: I'm in the blah stage of reverse culture-shock, the one that sucks so much, because everything seems like it would be better if I was back where I just came from. The fact that I knew this would happen--once I washed all my clothes and had a few good soaks and my fix of American food and sleep in a real bed--doesn't make it any easier. Nothing tastes right. Even my preciousss cheetos seemed a bit off when I first had them (and I can't seem to find the Chester fries I was so addicted to before I left anywhere! Woe!) Good roads have lost their novelty. The Safeway that seemed glorious and overwhelming a week ago now lacks charm and character. Why do you need 30 different kinds of mustard, and aisles wide enough to walk down without knocking something over, anyway? And the tomatoes... no way can go from eating Serbian tomatoes to eating Safeway tomatoes without a hitch. It just can't be done. You might as well not eat a tomato at all. And everything here is so expensive Everything's relative of course, but now my relativity is a bit skewed.

(1) Sun Sep 10 2006 15:50 PST Pictures!: For those who care to see them, pictures of my recent trip can be viewed here. I made an abridged photo album of 300 pictures (all that fits into one yahoo!photos album) and it was really hard to narrow it down to just the best ones. I took over 3 times that many pictures myself, which is not to mention all the pictures taken by others. And I even made sure they were in the right order and added titles to all of them and descriptions to most. *whew* I just did a slideshow view and it took 23 minutes... but considering it took me two months to take all of them, well... Anyway, if you're interested.

Sun Sep 10 2006 16:37 PST Lust (of the wandering kind): Man, I can't WAIT to go travelling again. I was just looking at my countries visited map (which I can't get to show up right here for some reason) and thinking of all the places I've yet to go, that I'm so longing to, and my new backpack has only been used once, longs to be used again, plus I have been thinking and thinking and THINKING about packing and really want to go on a long trip & really get it right, to live on bare essentials and be free as the wind, and take trains everywhere and taste that travel air, there's really nothing like it. *sigh*

The optimistic me says if I get a good scholarship I'll be able to spent the few months between finishing my MA and starting my Phd bopping about Eastern Europe. If not, well... we'll see I guess.

Mon Sep 11 2006 20:52 PST Some thoughts on the day: For a lot of people, September 11 is a tragedy in a very personal way. For me, it's not. It may seem crass or insenstive or may get me put on some kind of watch-list, for in most ways it's just another day. I'd say it didn't have any real effect on me but that's probably not true, it's just not so easy to see. I was 18 in 2001, and those are big years. I think it's hugely significant that I became politically aware in an atmosphere that was so shaped by the aftermath of 9/11. I don't know anyone who was affected by it personally but it was a really tragedy. I've become a secondhand witness to so many tragedies that maybe in some way I'm just saving my emotional capital to spend on something that most people don't bother to remember. Or maybe I'm just jaded with all the politicians--and I do mean ALL the politicians--using it as a tool.

Judge me if you will. I'm not especially proud of this--maybe I wish I felt more emotionally about this day. (I know it's something I'm capable of. Every time the 5th rolls around I find myself counting up to it, then counting back. How many months, it feels like forever, and no time at all, all at once.) But honestly this is what I am feeling, and thinking, today, and though I decided a dozen times over not to share it, now I am, for whatever reason.

(2) Tue Sep 12 2006 16:50 PST Academic woes: I am pretty much ready to be settled in where-ever I am going to settle and start the school year.

I'm beginning to worry that not only will the books I ordered not arrive in time for me to finish my paper here, they won't arrive before I have to leave. I absolutely can't go on without Janet Watson, and I seem to have very cleverly NOT BROUGHT all my other secondary sources. I thought they were in a file in my suitcase but they are not. It's not a huge deal but I had hoped to have this paper done before I started worrying about other ones, added to the huge mess I am going back to since the house did not, as I had hoped, sell while I was gone, nor was it even put on the market, added to the fact that I am missing two classes already since school technically starts today... why did I get so grumpy all of a sudden?

(1) Wed Sep 13 2006 11:53 PST The New Age of Packing: Seeking advice and maybe giving some.

Here is an article that mentions LUSH shampoo bars (found in LUSH cosemtics) which reminds me of a topic that I and I know plenty of others have given a lot of consideration over the past few weeks. I know a lot of people who are confirmed carry-oners. I am not. For a number of reasons, the most obvious of which is that often I'm going places for a length of time that requires an amount of stuff not permitted for carry-on. With my newly re-affirmed vow of packing as lightly as ever possible, I have been puzzling over this, but the fact remains that I'll never be carrying on a bag on a long trip to, say, Europe, because I am too dependant on my swiss-army knife and probably dozens of other things that are banned for carry-ons, but I won't think of them till I am in the middle of packing. So there is that.

But for shorter trips, say 2 weeks, espcially within the US, I doo like to carry-on, and with the new rules that seems hopeless. I have puzzled and puzzled and everytime I come up with a new solution (usually involving LUSH) I think of something else.

• Sumana has mentioned tooth powder to replace toothpaste, which seems reasonable and I'll have to check it out even if I do end up checking. As I'm afraid I will.
• Long have a been an advocate of solid shampoo for travel and ordinary usage.
• LUSH also has solid conditioner. Which can also be used as shaving cream. And a leave-in/ styling cream. 
• Massage bars can be used as lotion. 
• Those facial cleansing wipes can be used as facewash AND body wash plus you save room not having to carry around pouffy sponge, but soap was never really a problem to replace since it's so easy to get nice ones in bar form. I guess that's more a hint for people who are into multi-tasking their toiletries like I am. (Shampoo bars also make great body-wash and, as the website points out, laundry soap. I washed my clothes with Godiva for 6 weeks). Of course, I'm a little weary of the quality of the cleanser in those facial wipes, I'm afraid it might make me break out, but since I can't seem to tell what makes me break out these days, my skin just breaks out whenever it wants, I can't see how using this for a week or so will make too much of a difference. And there's always the TimeWise cleansing bar. 
• But here is where the puzzle breaks down. I'm very picky about my moisturizer and what gets put on my face, any old lotion won't do, and it should have sunscreen in it, and it certainly doesn't come in solid form. I'm not putting massage bar on my face. I suppose I could just buy some when I get where I'm going (this is the fall-back solution but it would be unwise, I think, to spend $30 on all new toiletries that you wouldn't be able to take back with you, just so you don't have to check you bag. But maybe one or two items) but that would mean satisfying myself with a drugstore moisturizer, not likely. I'm sure the powers that be are busily working out a solution to this in their labs. I hope. If I already exsists I certainly don't know about it. 
• Then there's makeup. I can live without foundation, and it comes in solid form anyway. Lip balm is allowed, thank goodness, so I assume lipstick is too, but maybe not lipgloss. What about mascara? Perfume I can also do without, and there's always LUSH's temple balms. 
• I also like to take Febreeze on a trip but I suppose that's out. 
• I wonder if towelettes are allowed. I mean, you can squeeze them and drops of liquid come out. 
• The list just grows and so does the headache.

(6) Wed Sep 13 2006 15:30 PST Vote: What should I be for Halloween? Ginny is out, I was her last time (and the time before), so I was thinking VAD or ambulance driver... ambulance driver would be easier but VAD could be cuter. Or I could be something that didn't make me look like a total nerd for once. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Wed Sep 13 2006 21:38 PST Phil Angelides is my choice for Governor: Says an email from Wes Clark. Mine, too. His name was on the student loan check that arrived in the mail today. (Not that that has anything to do with anything, and not that I'm going to use it for anything but paying off the interest on my other student loans before it compounds.)

(1) Fri Sep 15 2006 11:49 PST Room to make big mistakes: Last night I met up with Kristi, whom I have not seen in two years. We went to a greek restaurant, Mezes, and had a delcious dinner, then met up with some of her friends and a trendy apartment. Not surprisingly the theme for the night's conversation was travel; we swapped stories from our most recent trips (she was in Latvia and Prague while I was in Serbia. We briefly considered meeting up but apparantly Eastern Europe is actually bigger than it looks on the map). Some of her friends had just gotten back from a trip to Turkey, and her roommate from a "Bar" trip (which is something I suppose like an "LSAT or MCAT trip"... or perhaps an MA thesis trip???) around Europe.

The merits and demerits of travelling alone were discussed. They seemed to have been travelling in big groups, a method of which I am skeptical. I think best is with one other person, but with the trials of the road, incompatibilities, etc it would be difficult to get on with any one person for any length of time. I suppose my experiences of actually travelling alone are slightly limited. They all agreed that the worse part is you start to get paranoid, which I definitley agree with, and that the worst is when you're alone on an overnight train. Which I haven't experienced personally. Although I have set off on many a long trip on my own, I always end up meeting people whose own agendas coincide with mine, which I think is a lot more likely to happen on the road than at home. Even in my last days at the hostel in Belgrade there were several people passing through that I could have tacked onto had I been going on. And it's so nice knowing you can do whatever you feel like doing, and that if you get sick of whoever you're with you can always ditch them with no hard feelings, which you can't very well do if it's someone you planned your trip with.

But I think I'm just looking at it from a different angle. It's tons of barrels of fun to go with your friends on little week or two trips wherever, but I am thinking about these long cross-continent trips that last months. Two very different things. Also I just watched Cabaret, I don't know how that is affecting my thinking.

Mon Sep 18 2006 13:51 PST $203: for French books. That is all.

(1) Tue Sep 19 2006 13:42 PST I never thought: I'd be one of those girls who carries a purse AND a backpack. But now it seems I am. I'm taking two classes in a row, with the entailed books and laptop, which really requires a backpack. But I hate backpacks for two reasons: it's really hard to rummange and walk at the same time (this is why I hate sightseeing with a backpack as a daypack; hence the purse) and they make my back all sweaty. Plus if I am running errands or working after my day as school it is more handy to have a purse and leave the heavy backpack in the car. *sigh*

(2) Wed Sep 20 2006 08:59 PST I hate: CSUB. This is seriously the least user-friendly college ever.

Thu Sep 21 2006 15:46 PST Bit by a bug: I was just randomly thinking a thought trail on my way back from the gym today when I started thinking about the ferry from Corfu, and some group of backpackers who were on it from another hostel, and they were going to Athens, I thought. ATHENS. Suddenly I was struck with such a longing it was all I could do not to drag out my backpack and head for the hills (the hills of LAX). Now I am looking at flights to London for ten days in December with a whirlwind tour of phd programs in mind. I'm hopeless. =(

(5) Thu Sep 21 2006 15:54 PST: I finally gave in and bought MS office ($90) and now I can't wait to get it! It left Dallas today and is coming to me by the 26th. Now I'll be able to write my papers all on my laptop and make as many excel spreadsheets as I want!

(2) Mon Sep 25 2006 14:57 PST The temptation of Rachel: Chatting with a guy in french today, he said he is getting confused with Turkish, as he is brushing up for going back. I asked when is he going back? And he said December, want to come? Yes, I'd love to, esp. for $500 round trip, but if I go anywhere in December it's to Britain. Though I'm dying to go to Turkey, esp with a Turkish speaker. It might be better in spring or summer when there is sun.

I dropped by my professor's office to quickly discuss research topics for her class & ended up staying nearly an hour discussing applying to PHD programs etc. I'm going back next week with my CV & spreadsheet to formulate a "5 point plan" or something.

Added to this I panicked this morning about PHD language requirements. I think I am taking care of the French pretty well, although this class is a lower level than I expected I'm making the most of it & really studying & practising. Doesn't change the fact that I need TWO and there are very few places in the world where one can learn Serbian. I might have to learn German after all, which wouldn't hurt anything but time. But then I remembered hearing about another summer course in Novi Sad... I loved Novi Sad. Exit festival anyone? I really don't think I was made to live on this continent.

I had a real moment yesterday. I decided to mop the floor with the foolish optimism that maybe someone would want to see the house today (assuming it actually ever gets on the market). I got the water and the mop and the mop spongey part absolutley disinigrated the moment it hit water, but I didn't notice it until there was a huge stripe of disintregated mop bits on the floor. Now that I think about it, this is probably due to using the mop to wipe up that super-crazy ZAP! crap the last time I cleaned the kitchen floor... two months ago. I bought an extra mop head when I bought the mop, but where did I put it? In the cupboard, sure, but it wasn't there so chances are I packed it, and in which box? There was another mop head which didn't fit on the mop, tho I gave it my best shot, and I ended up having to use the mop head solo on my hands & knees to clean up best I could. My life was so difficult, it was the most difficult life that has ever been lived. This mop disintregrating business was the last thing a poor, hardworking soul like me needed. And to add to the unfairness of it all, I couldn't even complain about the unfairness of it all to the world (count yourselves lucky) because I didn't have internet at home). Which I need to do FRENCH HOMEWORK. Woe is I. *eyes roll*

(3) Wed Sep 27 2006 08:55 PST: How did I miss this HUGE EU news yesterday? I have been living at school & work for 12-14 hours everyday. I feel like I'm in a hole. I want to cry.

Thu Sep 28 2006 19:55 PST RUDE: Why why why do people think it is ok to hold conversations on the phone in the library? It is NOT.