Spam As Folk Art for 2005 July

We cannot fulfil your insurance claim.

Lousy modeling clay!

Now that my personality has been uploaded into the Singularity, I can have new bodies delivered via email!

Who was that masked cucumber, anyway?

At last, Linux supports the Fun media format.

They're really, really certain they called 5 times.

When Popeye is your pharmacist.

KING OF THE RAD D00DZ!!!1

I'm tellin' y'all...

Bonus: this spam also mentions "Brass Monkey". Bonus bonus: this spam also uses a new technique I like, of repeating a platitude or stale joke and then blurting out some random provocative statement in hopes of making you actually laugh.

Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? Foam at the Mouth
Don't be so open-minded your brains will fall out. Deadline
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society. Sacred Cow

I think stand-up comedy would be greatly improved by the use of this technique.

Meanwhile, my opponent is getting the exact same spam.

Then they're not really fixed, are they?

Say, acquaintance, have you heard about new Prell? It's just swell!

Spamming for potions of polymorph.

Start your child on the path to conspicuous consumption early by adding product placement to your baby talk.

Invalid regular expression.

I've always wanted to !

No, no, you're not telling it right!

In a Warner Bros. cartoon, maybe.

But I cherish my further details!

So many jokes here. Smurfs, Robert Johnson, blues festivals, etc.

I'm already compulsively reloading, but I don't think that counts as it being "seen".

You can't outsource it, we need the holes dug here!

I've already got a 2x+y, I'm not buying it again.

Oh, I thought the secret was salsify.

Here at Mom's Amalgamated Bioextrusions, we just want you to know that we value your business.

Grew too much again this year, eh?

"I bought an end to hunger!" "I bought a unicorn!"

This spam came from the future; they're software packages.

I just bet you would.

After that he has to go back to medical school for a refresher course.

I like to keep up on new terminology defined in the field.

Friendly advice from Roast Beef.

By act of Congress!

In the Passive Voice Protection Program.

Well, I liked the one about the banker and the umbrella.

"What is the good?" Why ask us, old man? iExttendder will surely know the answer!