Spam As Folk Art for 2007 December

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Friday the Seventh of December
() VIEW WHAT WE GOT TO PROPOSE: Seed of a good rap there. Anyway, what follows is the least Texan email I've ever received.

Subject: I WILL HELP

Hello,

My Name is ( MRS.LUCY BOB), I am 75yrs old of age; I stay in Texas, USA. I am a good merchant; I have several industrial companies and good share in various banks in the world. I spend all my life on investment and corporate business. All the way I lost my husband and two beautiful kids in fatal accident that occur in November 5th 2003.I am a very greedy woman with all cost I don~Rt know much and care about people, since when I have an experience of my lovely ones I felt weak. I found it difficult to sleep and give rest.

Later in the year 2004 February I was sent a letter of medical check up, as my personal doctor testify that I have a lung cancer, which can easily take off my life soon. I found it uneasy to survive myself, because a lot of investment cannot be run and manage by me again. I quickly call up a pastor/prophet to give me positive thinking on this solution, as my adviser.

He minister to me to share my property, earth, to motherless baby/orphanage homes/people that need money for survivor both student that need money/ business woman and man for their investment for future rising. So therefore I am writing this letter to people who are really need help from me both student in college, to contact me urgently. Especially those people who found it so difficult in the area of money. Please contact me and stop weeping.

Probably let me know what you really need the money for, and if you can still help me to distribute money to nearest orphanages homes near your town. Now am so much with GOD, am now born again. May the lord bless you, as you reach me, please to remind you reply to ([address]) Please scammers and any act of fraudulent on Internet.

BEST REGARD
LUCY BOB

My favorite bits are the all-caps name, "I am a good merchant" (gets Leonard laughing with its mix of interactive-fiction "times are tough, sigh" and the PBS sponsorship tag for "The GOOD Cook!"), "Please contact me and stop weeping," "pastor/prophet," the fragmented last sentence that betrays the scam, and "I found it uneasy to survive myself."

() What is it with George Soros?: Why does so much of that random text in these messages have to do with financier and liberal George Soros? Also, who's the rather gifted copywriter whose scanning, rhyming verse on manhood enhancement landed in my spambox?

Friday the Fourteenth of December
() Tales That Will Chill You:
Announcing the FIRST-EVER TALKING Thomas Kinkade collectible Story House! LISTEN as Thomas Kinkade reads aloud the beloved holiday poem, "The Night Before Christmas"! Watch as each impeccably sculpted room LIGHTS UP in turn as the classic story unfolds. Experience anew the delight of Christmas through Thomas Kinkade's gentle voice and his charming Victorian holiday artistry.

The voice is coming from inside the house!

Tuesday the Eighteenth of December
() On Worm Web:

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