# 04 Aug 2003, 09:33AM:
My mom used to tell me, "listen to people mean, not what they say." To wit (Salon, may need a Day Pass): I am a literalist. To my frequent dismay, I listen to and believe the actual words that come out of people's mouths. I often have to ask my wife what they were actually saying. I have had to learn the hard way that many, perhaps most, people do not use words for their dictionary meaning at all. They use them more like gestures in an elaborate dance, to convey an ineffable and pleasing message that may be internally contradictory but is emotionally true to them.
The columnist's advice includes encouragement to date an engineer.
# 04 Aug 2003, 11:19AM:
I find myself watching much more TV than I did just two months ago. After all, now I have a TV, and also Leonard just got a TiVo (I'm sure he'll tell you about that soon) so we can watch all the Emeril we can handle. My opinion: I believe that TiVos should come automatically programmed to capture Star Trek reruns of all generations except Voyager, and also Iron Chef, because who buys a TiVo and yet does not want Star Trek and Iron Chef? Also, it is really fun to give three thumbs-down to "Step by Step" (the Suzanne Somers sitcom) and the like. Finally, reviews that actually affect the behavior of other entities! (Namely, the automatic recommendations.)
More to the "point" of this entry, I now watch "Malcolm in the Middle," a Sunday Fox sitcom. The theme song, "Boss of Me," is yet another mainstream They Might Be Giants offering (cf. "Istanbul" in "Animaniacs"). This morning I still shuddered at the awful stupid destructive behavior offered last night by the stupid character in "Malcolm in the Middle," and it struck me that the phrase in the title, "Boss of Me," probably derives in this usage from the Monica Lewinsky apocrypha that, as a tot, she would complain at scolds and say to the scolder, "You're not the boss of me!" I first heard this from the British lips of Simon Stow, so now "Malcolm in the Middle" is linked in my mind with Simon leading political science discussions and throwing in lots of Simpsons references, so it's all full circle.
# 04 Aug 2003, 04:31PM:
The idea of a homegrown Indian sci-fi movie warms my heart, but of course I am immediately unsatisfied (because I am a weblogger) and want more, more! I want a sci-fi/fantasy retelling of the Mahabharata where the gods are aliens or extropians. Of course, this vaguely led me to say to Leonard, "I have Increased My Word Power! Ahahahaha!"
# 05 Aug 2003, 11:31AM: Nothing for "Sumana," Either:
There is nothing like a dame (aside from a dame herself).Explanation.
# 05 Aug 2003, 03:16PM: Reminder to Self:
The West Wing will start its new season on September 24th, and Enterprise will start again on September 10th.
# 07 Aug 2003, 04:20PM: America's Test Yearning:
My huge crush on Christopher Kimball of "America's Test Kitchen" continues, despite the way that Bridget Lancaster makes eyes at him. He's giving cooking classes this fall and I'm signed up for the one on September 18th (in Berkeley, not San Francisco, despite what the page says). There's still a bit of room (call store or registration number for details).
Also, happy jig, ATK marathon this Saturday. I knew their philosophy was scientific and pragmatic, but never ontological: "If you put the lemons in at the end, is it really roasted lemon chicken?"
# 08 Aug 2003, 12:09PM: Also check out the shorthand dictionary:
If you want to send a text message to the cell phone of a T-Mobile customer, you can use the T-Mobile web site to do so. That is all well and good. I am only wondering at the presence of a "Funny message generator" on that page that fills the text message box with one-liners and more cryptic "jokes."
# 08 Aug 2003, 05:21PM:
I enjoy black licorice -- I wonder how these licorice horse treats taste?
# 11 Aug 2003, 04:02PM:
As in so many parodies and late-night skits, the premise is better than the execution: Microsoft replaces "Clippy" with Iraqi Information Minister.
Speaking of the Minister, We Love the Iraqi Information Minister has some vivid imagery in al-Sahaf quotes that I hadn't seen before. Example: "The midget Bush and that Rumsfield deserve only to be beaten with shoes by freedom loving people everywhere."
# 13 Aug 2003, 09:54AM:
New York Times story: a woman is cooking every recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking and keeping an online journal about it. It's a grueling project. "'I'm miserable so they can be happy,' Ms. Powell said of her readers. 'I'm like the Jesus of extreme cooking. I got fat and very unhappy for their sins.'"
# 13 Aug 2003, 02:00PM:
I thought this trekkie article was "Celebrate Cardassians With Robinson, Blogs", not "Robinson, Biggs."
# 14 Aug 2003, 04:47PM:
The ghost of Bruce Springsteen. I don't think I ever understood why Springsteen is so important, but this helped.
# 14 Aug 2003, 05:42PM:
My colleagues find entertainment in my conversations with customers. "So it's an unauthorized charge? What's your name?...Yes, I see a subscription under that name to Salon Premium....Well, we're a web magazine, called Salon....have you heard of the Internet?..."
Also, when I tell people about the free benefits that come with Salon Premium, I often adopt a "but that's not all!" informercial tone. Why not flow with my inner circus-barker nature?
# 14 Aug 2003, 05:58PM:
Hey, guess what happened to my car!
Update, next day: With the help of Leonard (thank you so much, dear) and the AAA, I had my car towed to a nearby tire place and the tires, which evidently were due for replacement anyway, will get replaced by -- get this -- later today! What?! You mean I don't have to wait a week? Crazy.
# 17 Aug 2003, 02:05PM:
I bought some mockmeat bacon and got home to discover that the expiration date was the next day. So I ate it all. I think the last slice was not quite as tasty as the first.
# 19 Aug 2003, 01:36PM:
Just a couple more months till Gordon Korman's new book Jake, Reinvented comes out. The first chapter certainly echoes Fitzgerald in the names -- Rick/Nick, Todd Buckley/Tom Buchanan, Jake Garrett/Jay Gatsby, Didi Ray/Daisy Fay, Jennifer/Jordan, Nelson Jaworski/George Wilson, Melissa/Myrtle. And in the party, we see Korman trying to create the canonical turn-of-the-century high school party, as Fitzgerald did the twenties.
I would prefer more introductory material, in the same strange vein as Fitzgerald's first chapter, but kids today. Oh, and supposedly Lance Bass will play Jake in the movie.
# 19 Aug 2003, 02:02PM:
I am REALLY back from Bakersfield (wow, I'm posting this entry late). The wedding festivities were pleasant and I met and hung out with many of Leonard's family, only a few of whom hinted or nagged at us that we should be next to marry. Susanna threw the bouquet at me, but that was all in good clean fun.
At the reception, I met an amazingly attractive man in his early twenties, a funny, intelligent, conscientious, and single friend of the groom named Tim. You Northern California LDS ladies do not know how lucky you are!
In Los Angeles, Leonard and I saw Adam, Kim, Kris, and Melissa. Adam made yummy curry, Leonard broke the bounds of tiramisu, and I surprised myself at omelettery. Also, the musicians three came up with about seventy style or song parodies of different musicians using "Popeye the Sailor Man." My favorites included Jonathan Richman and Nirvana.
Speaking of music, Leonard picked up a fantastic CD of US election campaign songs, Washington through Clinton. I'll let him talk about that.
# 20 Aug 2003, 09:54AM: "I had clean grief, instead of muddy water.":
A woman finds a great deal -- a nearly new Cadillac for only $5,000. But the seller is a helpless widow. That could be me, the buyer realizes. Thus begins a sad and wonderful story.
# 20 Aug 2003, 09:56AM:
DE-Cal classes acquire more regulations. I don't know whether more oversight is necessary. I just know I'm glad I didn't have to do all that when I taught my classes.
# 20 Aug 2003, 12:47PM:
Biella Coleman has written a very funny tale of a day at a U of Chicago gym and has mentioned the solution to procrastination: nudity. As I am at work, perhaps the solution would be to have the computer somehow whip my clothes off if I spend more than ten minutes on non-work-related pursui-WHOA! uh, be right back
# 21 Aug 2003, 06:59PM:
Saw Gigantic: A Tale of Two Johns, the They Might Be Giants documentary, with Anirvan as we repaired our acquaintanceship. The movie was good and the first step to reconciliation was good too.
Blogging and email will be sparse over the next few days -- I'm retreating.
# 26 Aug 2003, 05:08PM: Could This Be True?:
As the Salon Premium support rep, I get the verification requests. "This is John, and I'm protecting myself from spam. Click here once to make sure your letter goes through." And I go to the URL for MailBlocker or SpamArrest or some such and fill out the little form.
The SpamArrest FAQ says: Will Spam Arrest delay my email?
No. In fact, you will save time due to receiving email only from verified users.
Okay, so if I send John an email on Friday, and then come back Monday and see that I have to click the SpamArrest link to get my email to go through, then how does that not entail a delay of two days?
# 28 Aug 2003, 01:53PM:
Saw Urinetown last night with Zack. I enjoyed the story, especially the audacious twists, and the meta dialogue (very funny), and the choreography. However, the songs were on the whole not memorable, and I have a hard time understanding the words when watching live musicals. I wish all plays and musicals featured supertitles.
# 28 Aug 2003, 07:05PM:
I can't believe I'm glad for spamspiration. Today's best subject line: Life a creative life!
# 28 Aug 2003, 10:26PM: What I'm Whistling To:
I am really enjoying this whistling thing. Such an entertaining novelty. I whistle "Tragic Kingdom" by No Doubt, Sousa marches off my Greatest Marches CD, probably Asian pop off Dance Dance Revolution audio, and stuff from TV. Right now I'm thinking of Angst! The Musical!, from Pinky and the Brain. "The Schadenfreude Polka" is a lovely title, but we only get a few lines from another masterpiece, in upbeat 4/4...
I'm going to have to hurt you
Hurt you
Hurt you
Have to, have to, have to
Hurt you, hurt you, hurt you
# 29 Aug 2003, 10:20AM: "Make the Heat Wave Pay!":
Are you aware that StarTrek.com hosts a Ferengi and a Klingon advice columnist? Klingon concepts of honor and strength, sort of a Worfian view, suit the advice-column format well. The Ferengi stuff is just funny.
The current trend has fictional nonhuman characters dispensing advice. What next? Compulsive meta-ness would demand an advice column that gives advice to advice columnists, and actually the advice-giver is the newspaper itself or "an advice column". Or part of a debate among gubernatorial candidates could be an advice-column-writing contest.
# 29 Aug 2003, 07:23PM: Labor Day Weekend:
Guy walking into building lobby, all confident cheer, to guard: "Woo! Three-day weekend, man!"
Guard: [noncommital nod, possibly a "yeah"]
Me, five seconds behind Guy: "You don't get a three-day weekend, do you?"
Guard: [slight smile]: "No."
# 31 Aug 2003, 05:51PM: A Process Entry That Is Not Witty:
Finally, a real weblog page instead of one I hand-edit from a Google cache!
The technical story: a few weeks ago, the Open Computing Facility upgraded its install of Apache and prohibited the use of "exec cmd" SSIs (server-side includes) because, in the hands of inattentive scripters, they're a security risk. So now the preferred SSI is "include virtual". But "include virtual" doesn't play well with CGIs that take command-line arguments, e.g., "include virtual="last_n_entries 21 weblog", without a query string (e.g., "include virtual="last_n_entries?n=21&nb=weblog"). Which makes sense, but inconveniences me.
So Leonard upgraded me to the as-yet unreleased NewsBruiser 1.14, which can output, say, the last 21 entries to a static file (and update it with each new post), so I can use the "include file" SSI in my main weblog page. That way I still get the purple background and the pretty margins, and instead of the visitor having to wait on each visit as the server generates the page anew, the visitor gets a much faster load, with a tiny offset cost onto me each time I post.
The less technical story: Until we got this working, I was still posting to my weblog, but the posts didn't automatically make it to the main page, so I was copying and pasting. I did this in batches every few days, which is why you were suddenly seeing days-old posts for the first time.
Oh, and Today In History is momentarily down for related reasons, but it's on Leonard's to-do list. In Soviet Russia has run its course.
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