# 01 Apr 2004, 03:41PM: Sounds Like Leonard: I find that the excellent Everything Is Ruined (political commentary, mostly) and the fading-brilliance Dinosaur Comics make me think that Leonard wrote them, even though he didn't.
# 02 Apr 2004, 03:35PM:
After a week of slogging at work (but actually getting results, which is nice), I will now ostensibly relax with two or three hours of driving to/from a concert by Brother, whom Shweta and Zack champion.
TeeVee.org parodied Salon yesterday in incredible, almost loving detail. Of course, a subscriber to Salon Premium wrote in, outraged that our new acquisition was so rude in its "Letter to Deadbeats."
# 05 Apr 2004, 03:51PM: Names, Fish, Taxes:
Weekend: enjoyed driving with friends, concert was okay, lots of Bollywood music videos (Namaste America has the best commentary, India Waves has the weirdest choices and hands-down weirdest host), Zack lunch, changed aquarium water somewhat more successfully, Leonard time, "Arrested Development" (hilarious!) and "West Wing" (made my brain hurt with fiction/reality splicing), burritolike meal, cleaning, taxes, library, clock-changing.
Yes, I wince a bit at paying taxes, more because I don't trust these particular administrations to do the right thing with the money than because of some "they are stealing my money" sentiment. Yes, I am a tax-and-spend liberal. Because that is the function of government! Taxing and spending! What else should they do? Tax and NOT spend? Spend without taxing?
Dave and Betty are fine, and the aquarium ecosystem is setting up nicely. Evidently goldfish enjoy eating freeze-dried mosquito larvae ("bloodworms," a Klingon term if ever there was), which look as though they are alive but (the shop owner assured me when I called) are very dead. I use tweezers.
Puritans used to give their kids names like Flee-From-Sin and Mercy, and now rappers call themselves C-Murder and Ol' Dirty Bastard.
# 07 Apr 2004, 09:49AM: Reminder:
-"The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America"He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy [of] the Head of a civilized nation.
# 08 Apr 2004, 11:02AM: You Can't Violate the 4th Amendment On Television (Or Elsewhere):
The wonderful Newsaic site footnotes TV shows and comics to contextualize references to law, history, and current events. My favorite bit so far comes from a discussion of an episode of "The Practice" and admissible evidence.
Stephen Lee, the site author, also feels as I do about Daredevil's vigilantism.Remember that the exclusionary rule only applies to government action, not to actions by other individuals. If the woman had opened the closet door, that would not violate the Fourth Amendment. You as a private individual can never violate the Fourth Amendment; only the government can violate it... What this means for Batman, I'm not sure. If the courts see Batman as a private individual, then he can get evidence that the police cannot. But if the courts see Batman as a de facto agent of the police, as they probably should, then the same Fourth Amendment standards should apply to his actions. This may be the best reason why the police in DC Comics don't officially recognize Batman's existence and claim he is nothing more than an urban legend.
The best sort of geekery!
# 10 Apr 2004, 11:51AM: Fascinating: On Thursday a beauty school student cut my hair to resemble that of T'Pol from Star Trek: Enterprise. However, my hair defies the Vulcan Science Directorate in its unruly, emotional curls and cowlicks. And I will not sully my medicine cabinet with "glaze" (am I a ham?!) to keep my bangs hanging straight. But perhaps if I raise one eyebrow at you, it'll still work.
# 12 Apr 2004, 09:11AM: Report and Request:
Zack and I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and enjoyed it a great deal. Great performances, fun dialogue and visual effects, a simple story ramified well. Also, it tickled me that David Cross played virtually the same character he plays in Arrested Development. I didn't recognize Elijah Wood or Mark Ruffalo, either, which seems good.
My sister suggested that I should spend more time with children. She's right. Anybody need a free babysitter? Conditions: one kid at a time, for stretches no longer than 5 hours.
# 12 Apr 2004, 10:57AM: Funnymen:
My sister and I adore Seth Stevenson's work in Slate. Case in point: "They seem to say that we are all just transient shadows, not long for this world - it's our diamonds that are forever."
Also, Obaid Kadwani on Namaste America Gold yesterday completely inserted his own opinions on viewer shout-outs and celebrity gossip. Lots of fun. I would read his weblog.
# 13 Apr 2004, 06:31PM: SPAA:
Zed has pointed out to me my inconsistency in bashing
Indians who use Western or Westernized names. When I got picked
as an audience participant for his improv nights, I called myself Vicki. Fair cop, guv. No more.
Nandini and I, in varying amounts, put up with the like of
"Sandy-uh." Back when my sister lived in the Bay Area (she's in DC now), we diverted ourselves with spas, the one decadence we shared. Whether we visited the boojie-but-down-to-earth Piedmont Springs or the wildly luxurious Kabuki, we have uncovered a hankering for hot baths and seaweed wraps. You see, it's "good for you," like working out, only you don't have to do anything except loll! And complain about Anglicized names. When we treated ourselves to Kabuki a while back, I had to adjust to the nudity. Miles of surface area! One gets used to it, but not completely. (On co-ed days people have to wear swimsuits, so if you don't want to stick out for wearing trunks or bikinis, go on Tuesday.)
Of course, Kabuki has to do some maintenance during spa hours, so one has to try to relax, naked, while a clothed low-wage (probably) worker does some very non-relaxing task. How do rich people get used to this? I feel insta-conflicted if I see building maintenance people at Salon, even when both they and I are working.
The title refers to a tenth-grade mnemonic: Socrates, then Plato, then Aristotle, then Alexander. I make no claims as to the usefulness or veracity of this mnemonic.
# 13 Apr 2004, 06:53PM GMT+5:30: Tax Tips: According to Taxes And People In Israel by Harold C. Wilkenfeld, not only does Israel have a Tax Museum, but that selfsame Tax Museum's exhibits go beyond famous people's tax returns. The museum also shows old smuggling devices! Also, it's good to have meetings with taxpayers in private offices, not large open areas where taxpayers can hear each others' cries of outrage.
# 14 Apr 2004, 12:25PM: Also "The Screwfly Solution"!: Thanks to Sarah for pointing to the Sci Fi Channel's online archive of classic and recent SF/fantasy stories. Includes Nancy Kress!
# 14 Apr 2004, 03:09PM: Who lives in the username next door?:
Every week Salon Premium Help receives a few autoresponse emails of the type "this email address doesn't work anymore because I've changed it to avoid spam; here is the new address."
Everyone's in the witness protection program, hiding from the spam Mob.
# 14 Apr 2004, 04:33PM: "I forgot to hook up the hose to the server!": Perhaps Leonard will get a campaign-related kick out of "You know you are working too much when.....". Example: "sitting in your cube you think about how much more relaxed you'd be if you were in jail right now".
# 15 Apr 2004, 12:28PM: It Would Explain That Crazy Scott Rosenberg: A nursing mother in our office pumps breastmilk. When I catch a glimpse of her apparatus drying, it looks like drug paraphernalia. "Who's smoking crack at the office?! ... oh."
# 16 Apr 2004, 12:44PM: Letters, I Read Letters: Some people use dashes instead of, say, quote marks, which makes me think Emily Dickinson has reincarnated as a Salon Premium subscriber. Others use no punctuation at all; maybe they bought cut-rate keyboards off the back of a truck, or they treat all communications with the urgency of 911 dispatches.
# 16 Apr 2004, 02:58PM: "Piles of meth"?: Jason Kottke knows my weakness! Comments on "Ten weird state taxes (Illegal drug tax!)" include an Al Capone reference, always welcome hereabouts.
# 19 Apr 2004, 07:18PM GMT+5:30: On The Night-Table:
I could try to combine these trends by reading a sci-fi children's book about taxes, but I don't much care to reread Anthem.
# 21 Apr 2004, 03:08PM: Maybe Some Of That Philip Glass (or, Usually I Listen To KUSF, I Swear): You know, there is really no good melody for singing "guaranteed 35-minute music set."
# 21 Apr 2004, 05:57PM: A Lot Of Days:
I didn't know that Gavin Newsom is dyslexic. Nor that his favorite game is Twister.
"He knows a lot of things since he's been mayor for 100-and-something days," he said. "That's a lot of days." ...
One little girl asked Newsom whether he is married, and he told her all about former San Francisco prosecutor Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom -- and which news shows to watch for her legal commentary.
"You can see my wife -- she's on TV. She's a legal analyst, which means she's a lawyer," he said. "She's amazing. She's beautiful and smart! She's not dyslexic. She's got it easy -- so easy."
Nikolai Kisler, a fourth-grader, said he wished Newsom had explained how he became mayor. But he hastened to add that he's sure Newsom is qualified.
I guess the average non-dyslexic does have it easier.
# 21 Apr 2004, 07:54PM: Perhaps "Not Passive-Aggressive" Is Too Much To Ask: I am trying to figure out the best way to let jerks on BART know that they may not hog two seats by sitting in the aisle seat while the window seat goes empty. Generally I do what other riders seem too timid to do (namely, walk up, say "Excuse me," and take the seat) without any fanfare or edification. But soon my thought experiments will provide a concise, courteous, and non-passive-aggressive technique for hitting these jerks upside the head with the cluestick.
# 22 Apr 2004, 07:38AM: Also Sneezy:
Grumpy. Last night I dreamt that I wanted to go back to high school to brush up on math and foreign languages, but the teachers would recognize me and tell them to stop wasting their time and resources, and that Leonard was being a spoilsport about an interesting Gordon Korman book.
In real life, one reason for grumpiness: I start on the eleventh month of a job where I've made maybe one friend ("friend" defined as "person who actively initiates conversation and asks me out to lunch and/or other social outings"). Practically everyone else has been working there for 3+ years. Like joining a grades 3-8 school in 7th grade, which I have done and which also marooned me socially.
# 22 Apr 2004, 02:12PM: Yay!: Some NYPD officers have little magic boxes, okay, special cell phones, that automatically connect them to call centers where the operators speak lots of languages. That way officers can communicate with who don't speak English, and get almost-simultaneous translation. Huzzah for technology and call centers and multilingual people leveraging their skills!
# 24 Apr 2004, 04:24PM: More Gross Fish: I saw Betty poop. Awesome!
# 26 Apr 2004, 04:01PM: Enjoy: Sometimes people offer to me, say, a chance to go out and do something with them, or to share a dessert, and I refuse and say "have a good time." Leonard pointed out to me that I do this. I'm not sure what to make of it.
# 27 Apr 2004, 11:04AM: It's Been A Quiet Week in Riyadh: The Religious Policeman, Saudi Arabia's Salam Pax, has read Garrison Keillor.
# 27 Apr 2004, 12:59PM: Shopping Is Hard; Let's Do Math:
I spent my first 21 years hating shopping for clothes. I still find shopping laborious, not fun. But recently I've begun dressing more professionally for work as part of my "don't work in customer support forever" career plan. So I am acquiring new items.
Yesterday, after a blah day at work, I wandered for the first time into the San Francisco Centre, a creepy mall in the middle of downtown SF. Curved escalators! Too many floors! To its credit, its bottom floor connects to the Powell Street BART/Muni station to expedite fleeing.
# 27 Apr 2004, 04:27PM: Spring: At a BART station, birds have nested on the stanchions, and I saw an egg.
# 28 Apr 2004, 09:16AM: Dave: Dave, my grey goldfish, is dying, or at least very ill. He was lethargic this morning, floating sideways, getting caught in the fake plant. I isolated him and did what I could, but by the time I return this evening he may be dead. Betty, the orange goldfish who eats more, is fine. I don't know why.
# 30 Apr 2004, 09:46AM: Dave, my grey goldfish, died yesterday. Leonard and I buried him in my backyard. I hope he did not suffer too much in his death, and that I helped him live a happy life while he was with me.
# 30 Apr 2004, 11:00AM GMT+5:30: Compare And Contract:
Currently reading Confessions of a Tax Collector: One Man's Tour of Duty Inside the IRS by Richard Yancey. I find it quite enjoyable, as I did Scott Turow's One-L (memoir of his first year at Harvard Law School) and Mike Daisey's 21 Dog Years: Doing Time @ Amazon.com.
Yancey got me with the premise and one of the first lines: "I had just turned twenty-eight, and was wearing a ten-year-old suit with a ten-day-old dark blue tie." Lots of close observations, complex cases nicely narrated, and a sense of suspense in the author's personal transformation. Like Daisey, Yancey uses dark humor and extended metaphors to persuade the reader that the demands of his job pressure him to act amorally and to become an amoral person. Yancey's story, though, is weightier; it tells more and covers a more formidable institution. And he doesn't paint his ethical dilemmas with the broad strokes that Daisey uses; I really won't know till the end of the book what he thinks of what he has done.
Just got to a section on clashes with tax protestors. Oh, the tax protestors. Leonard was kind enough to point me to a report on tax protestors from Reason that softened my heart:
...
Not merely Protestant, the tax honesty people are strangely reminiscent of fandom -- of the comic book, fantasy, science fiction, role-playing-game variety. They have the same obsession with continuity and coherence within a created fantasy world of words. It's just that, in this case, that world of words isn't a multivolume fantasy epic or a long-running TV series -- it's U.S. law. When these people try to reconcile the definition of income in this subsection of Title 26 of the U.S. Code with the definition in a 1918 Supreme Court case, it's like hearing an argument over the inconsistencies between a supervillain's origin as first presented in a 1965 issue of The Amazing Spider-Man and the explanation given in a 1981 edition of Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man.
The tax honesty movement's vision of the world is fantastical in another way. It is not merely obsessed with continuity; it is magical in a traditional sense. It's devoted to the belief that the secret forces of the universe can be bound by verbal formulas if delivered with the proper ritual. There are numerous formulae in the tax honesty spellbook, with rival mages defending them. Which spell is best: The summoning of the Sovereign Citizen? The incantation of the Constitutional Definition of Income? The banishing spell of No Proper Delegation?
The tax honesty folks similarly believe that their foe the IRS must also be bound by these grimoires of magic: that without the properly sanctified OMB number an IRS form holds no power, that without uttering the mystic word liable no authority to tax can truly exist.
And always, always, the ultimate incantation, The Question: Where does it say that I owe income taxes? Show me the law!
Their attitude toward the Constitution and the statutes and legal decisions regarding the income tax are uniquely Protestant, relying on a layman's ability -- indeed, obligation -- to read and study and parse the original documents himself, to come to his own personal relationship with the law and the cases, and to prefer his understanding to that of the priesthood of lawyers, judges, and accountants.
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