# 01 Jun 2005, 05:39PM: Self-Defense Classes: For exercise and self-defense, I want to take a martial arts class. I took judo in college and liked it. Any suggestions for good programs or teachers in San Francisco?
# 02 Jun 2005, 04:05AM GMT+5:30: Stephensonia: About once a month I wake up way too early for no good reason. Today it could be because my body is scared of today's dentist appointment. I woke up thinking about the oral surgeon from Cryptonomicon. Real subtle, subconscious.
# 02 Jun 2005, 03:55PM: We're All In This Together:
I try to emulate talented role models instead of finding their total mastery discouraging to the novice. But what am I to do when Jon Carroll writes about public transit the same day I do? From today's MC Masala, "How to avoid being a jerk on buses and BART":
But it only takes one jerk to ruin 20 people's pleasant rides.
Darn, I just noticed that "working together through our through our democratically chosen government" got changed to "working together through our democracy." Oh well. Enjoy the etiquette guide.
Buses and BART remind me that we have a grand civilization. Mass transit is efficient and environmentally friendly and benefits even those who don't use it by reducing traffic. We don't segregate riders by gender or race. As a society, working together through our democracy, we create mass transit systems that benefit everyone. No one person could do it alone.
# 08 Jun 2005, 10:59AM: Illin':
Yesterday I took off from work to hang out with my sister. Then I got sick, so today I'm sneezing in sweatpants in a much less planned day off. Blah.
When you're sick-cranky, it feels much more righteous when you actually have something to be cranky about.
# 08 Jun 2005, 12:53PM: Not Coherent Enough To Be Movie Reviews:
Leonard wanted me to write about Elf and Kiki's Delivery Service.
Elf made me laugh. And I liked getting to see jokes about children's publishing. But what's up with the belief system? Santa says that knowledge destroys faith, but then seeing the Nice List makes people believe, and the Claus-o-Meter goes up? If the singer had sung a non-Santa-oriented Christmas carol, would it have influenced the Claus-o-Meter? Also, people in the real world also give each other presents independent of Santa, as shown in a few scenes! If Santa really existed, wouldn't he visit children who hadn't previously believed in Santa, thus leaving otherwise inexplicable presents? Or is belief in Santa a prerequisite for bring on the Nice List? What happens to the virtuous nonbelievers? In the universe of Elf, are parents selfishly taking credit for Santa's gifts by promoting nonbelief in their children? You see how this spins out.
I enjoyed KDS. Like Spirited Away, it's a touching and slow-moving story about a brave young girl, with lovely little details and wholesome heartwarming plot points. I especially liked the rockin' song at the end. Unlike Elf and Spirited Away, KDS contains absolutely no malice. No one at all in KDS means any harm. That's overwhelming.
Now that I've been to Japan I know that Japanese people actually speak in that high-pitched/excited/anxious-sounding voice that Kiki exhibits throughout the film at the slightest provocation. That got tiring.
Now I want to read a fantasy novel by Gordon Korman. Maybe his "Jersey" series where children switch places with famous athletes.
# 08 Jun 2005, 01:21PM: Memories and Irritations:
Every time I hear that Steppenwolf song about a magic carpet ride, I think about the movie Star Trek: First Contact.
I know a person who prides himself on having scheduled his own life (long-term - finding a wife, marrying her, having a kid, etc.). How irritating are those know-it-alls who have to have the upper hand in every conversation and therefore never allow you to see them surprised? Anyway, the real kicker is that this person, who in theory makes computers do things for a living, can't schedule a software project worth a tinker's dam!
# 08 Jun 2005, 01:24PM: Best Medicine: I need something to laugh at. Maybe I'll read Pratchett.
# 08 Jun 2005, 01:32PM: I Actually Received This "Apology" Today: "I'm sorry I was a bitch. I should have known how you get when you're over-emotional."
# 08 Jun 2005, 04:06PM: The Language Of Sick Is Uni--ah-CHOO!: Feeling somewhat better. Wodehouse and Korman helped. Someday Hugh Laurie will play a THIRD memorable character, after House and Wooster, and completely mix me up. It'll be like how I end up speaking French and Kannada when trying to speak Russian.
# 09 Jun 2005, 08:29AM: I Love My Mom:
Today's MC Masala column actually mentions the word "masala" (mix of spices) because it's about my mom's cooking and American food.
Also includes the line "We used to order pizza from its eponymous Hut."
The smell of Taco Bell reminds me of going to the coin laundry with my mother. She'd give my sister and me a few dollars and we'd run to the strip mall's Taco Bell, bursting with the desire to choose our own meals. The perfectly flavorless tortillas, the homogenized refried beans, the impossibly unmeltable "cheddar" cheese -- I would taste those and think of joy.
# 09 Jun 2005, 05:21PM GMT+5:30: Meta-Spoiler Alert:
'Then, in God's name, let him marry Mrs. Bold,' said Madeline. And so
it was settled between them.
But let the gentle-hearted reader be under no apprehension whatsoever.
It is not destined that Eleanor [Bold] shall marry Mr. Slope or Bertie
Stanhope. And here, perhaps, it may be allowed to the novelist to
explain his views on a very important point in the art of telling tales.
He ventures to reprobate that system which goes so far to violate all
proper confidence between the author and his readers, by maintaining
nearly to the end of the third volume a mystery as to the fate of their
favourite personage. Nay, more, and worse than this, is too frequently
done. Have not often the profoundest efforts of genius been used to
baffle the aspirations of the reader, to raise false hopes and false
fears, and to give rise to expectations which are never to be realized?
Are not promises all but made of delightful horrors, in lieu of which
the writer produces nothing but most commonplace realities in his final
chapter? And is there not a species of deceit in this to which the
honesty of the present age should lend no countenance?
And what can be the worth of that solicitude which a peep into the third
volume can utterly dissipate? What the value of those literary charms
which are absolutely destroyed by their enjoyment? When we have once
learnt what was that picture before which was hung Mrs. Radcliffe's
solemn curtain, we feel no further interest about either the frame or
the veil. They are to us merely a receptacle for old bones, an
inappropriate coffin, which we would wish to have decently buried out of
our sight.
And then, how grievous a thing it is to have the pleasure of your novel
destroyed by the ill-considered triumph of a previous reader. 'Oh, you
needn't be alarmed for Augusta, of course she accepts Gustavus in the
end.' 'How very ill-natured you are, Susan,' says Kitty, with tears in
her eyes; 'I don't care a bit about it now.' Dear Kitty, if you will
read my book, you may defy the ill-nature of your sister. There shall
be no secret that she can tell you. Nay, take the last chapter if you
please -- learn from its pages all the results of our troubled story,
and the story shall have lost none of its interest, if indeed there be
any interest in it to lose.
Our doctrine is, that the author and the reader should move along
together in full confidence with each other. Let the personages of the
drama undergo ever so complete a comedy of errors among themselves, but
let the spectator never mistake the Syracusan for the Ephesian;
otherwise he is one of the dupes, and the part of a dupe is never
dignified.
I would not for the value of this chapter have it believed by a single
reader that my Eleanor could bring herself to marry Mr. Slope, or that
she should be sacrificed to a Bertie Stanhope. But among the good folk
of Barchester many believed both the one and the other.'But Bertie has no other way of living,' said Charlotte.
-Anthony Trollope, ch. XIV, Barchester Towers
# 09 Jun 2005, 05:55PM GMT+5:30: Still No Punchline:
I still have no punchline for the set-up "Asra Nomani is standing alone in Mecca..." But you can read my review of her book.
It seems unfair to judge Standing Alone in Mecca as a memoir when it's clearly unfinished. It tells us the history and the recent dispatches of battles within Islam, but the story's barely begun.
# 09 Jun 2005, 06:48PM: Update On Asimovs: An update long overdue (I got the corrective email in March).
# 10 Jun 2005, 04:06PM: Sick Again: Yesterday I was well enough to go to work, where I got hit by a barrage of jerkitude by customers. Maybe that lowered my immune system's defenses, because I woke up today with a relapse and stayed home. I've been doing my job for two years and it's never seemed an immediate threat to my health before. Time for a change.
# 11 Jun 2005, 05:14PM GMT+5:30: Setting Records:
I can't remember the last time I was this ill for this long. Thank
goodness Leonard is taking care of me. If this lasts through tomorrow
then I should seek real medical attention.
Read: Pratchett's Men at Arms - a wee bit taxing for my
current state, but of course funny and heartwarming. Also - some
Jeeves stories that make me understand what Orwell and Leonard say
about him. I'd never seen that amoral side of him before, where
he ditches the "make someone happier" objective just to make a few
pounds.
# 11 Jun 2005, 09:49PM: Dramatic Turnaround: I went for a short walk and Leonard made his hot-n-spicy noodle soup for me and now I'm 80% better. Thank goodness.
# 12 Jun 2005, 06:04PM: Bah: Leonard thinks I have the flu. Makes sense. Still feeling at sixes and sevens.
# 12 Jun 2005, 07:42PM: The End Of Hu-Mor: I want to laugh at something. I tried watching A Night At The Opera and my face cracked maybe once. I found all the Marx brothers completely annoying. Leonard is currently looking for a Goon Show tape. Is there no hope? Has the flu infected my funny bone? Shall I never laugh again?
# 12 Jun 2005, 09:47PM: Frowny Face: What kind of life is this? Headache, sore throat, and stuffy nose are beginning to seem normal. If I wake up well tomorrow I don't know how I'll recognize it.
# 13 Jun 2005, 01:30PM: Used To It: Wake up. Eat, read, take placebos, watch TV, repeat. Feel under-the-weather all day. Go to bed. This is my life now.
# 14 Jun 2005, 10:23AM: Better Enough: Going to work. I'm still sniffly and my ears pop but those Salon Premium member questions won't answer themselves.
# 17 Jun 2005, 09:06PM: Far From The Greek Ideal: Physically I feel better. Leonard made me laugh last night for about two full minutes. I'm back to the pre-illness level of health. But my psyche feels pretty battered. I gotta get into tech writing, or proofreading - something in writing or editing that doesn't involve fielding "you suck" calls and emails every day. If you have a lead on a relevant job in the SF Bay Area, please let me know.
# 18 Jun 2005, 04:52PM: Flailing At The Keyboard:
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Don't worry, I'm fine.
# 19 Jun 2005, 11:35PM: J Neo Marvin and the Content Providers are a pretty good band: What a media-centric weekend! At Riana's house, Leonard and I saw "Spirited Away" again, and then they had the Sumana premiere of the 1980s BBC comedy "The Young Ones." I understand Leonard better now. Also consumed and enjoyed: a Gary Larson "The Far Side" anthology, a party at Rachel Chalmers's house, and a new "Uncle Morty's Dub Shack." Produced: a few humorous phrasings, worthy of a minute of stand-up comedy, and a column for Thursday. I'm a consumer at the top of the food-for-thought pyramid; it takes hours and megabytes of input for me to produce a single kilobyte of content.
# 20 Jun 2005, 06:33PM: Developing:
I have an extra ticket to a Giants game tomorrow night - 7:15pm, at the Pac Bell park in downtown SF, against the Arizona Diamondbacks. Who wants to join me?
Update - looks like I have someone....not yet confirmed...
Update again - and that fell through! So the ticket is available again. We'll be sitting behind home plate, in what I'm told are two very good seats.
# 20 Jun 2005, 10:47PM: Job Recommendations:
I've now applied for a bit of the jobbery. In the past two hours I've sent out two truthful letters that include the line "I believe I'm a great candidate for this position and for your organization." That gets the spirits up. Thanks, Danny and Rachel!
It's scary how well networking works.
# 21 Jun 2005, 09:45AM GMT+5:30: Giving Away Giants Ticket:
R.K. Narayan in "My Dateless Diary" does a US book tour. He gets two tickets to some event. "Why two?" he asks. The giver tells him that "two tickets or none" is an unalterable principle in American life.
Update: Gone! Damian will accompany me!
# 23 Jun 2005, 11:28AM: Pillow: A person who just left Salon gave me a small pillow. It had been left here by a previous employee so property rights are sort of nebulous on it (as the Supreme Court would approve). It'll be useful in case I ever have to sleep under my desk again. The last time I did so (election night 2004) I had to make do with promotional t-shirts.
# 23 Jun 2005, 11:40AM: Double Masala:
The posting of my column last week got messed up, so today I alert you to my column from last week (about not finding a hairdresser who'll cut my hair short) and this week's column (about cool comedy this month in SF). Enjoy.
P.S. Some baseline data for what I like in comedy: Life At Low Reynolds Number (which I found via the Nielsen Haydens).
# 23 Jun 2005, 03:34PM: The Royal Tenancy: I like to pretend that I am stately. Also regal. But the word "regal" has to do with a hereditary aristocracy if not monarchy and I wouldn't want that kind of governmental system in the US. Then again, I like the idea of having a powerless yet stately head of state, like the British monarch, who gets to embody patriotism, etc., so that the head of government (president, prime minister, whatever) doesn't have to wear that hat too. I'd prefer that to the current situation in the US: "You don't like the current president or party in power? That means about half the country is traitorous/unpatriotic/hates all that America stands for!"
# 23 Jun 2005, 10:06PM: Joy:
It's been a FANTASTIC few days, mild jaw pain notwithstanding. (In a few weeks I'll have wisdom teeth out.)
This person writes like an unholy combination of Leonard, Ryan North, Chris Onstad, Stephenson, and Gogol.
I've gotten lots of email from humans, eaten well, slept well, had a job interview, talked with a socialist about political theory, socialized with friends and co-workers, worked productively, watched fun movies and TV, finished reading a book or two, and gone to a baseball game! There were garlic fries and fireworks!
I use "cyanide pill" as shorthand for the legendary poison pills spies supposedly carry with them so as to die rather than spill state secrets. Supposedly they find comfort in knowing it's there and a spy can hold out longer under interrogation than he would otherwise because he knows he always has the option of ending it all. I've encouraged friends in bad jobs to decide on their cyanide pills. What would make you quit?
Now that I'm interviewing for other jobs, my current one doesn't seem so bad.
# 26 Jun 2005, 12:52AM: Unending Action:
I saw a bunch of Will Franken this weekend at his Fringe benefit show. It looks as though he made enough money to get to the NYC Fringe Festival, which gladdens me.
Today I also went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium with Riana and Leonard and will post links to their accounts when I am unlazy. They planned well and enjoyed stuff in an educational fashion while I meandered and oohed and aahed at pretty things. All the blurbs next to the tanks have really good writing.
People don't believe that my trip to Vik's tomorrow is for research purposes. But it is.
# 27 Jun 2005, 07:45AM: SCOTUS: AAARRRGH re: Grokster and the "you're not common carriers" decision. Yay re: 10 Commandments.
# 27 Jun 2005, 09:15PM: Breaking News: Not Quite All Is Vanity:
I don't often look in a mirror except while brushing my hair or checking on the opacity of a shirt. To be more particular, I almost never look at my own face in a mirror. Man, humans look weird! What jumped-up monkeys we can be!
In particular I look weird. I don't think I know anyone else who looks a lot like me. I used to look like Shweta, especially towards the end of my Russia trip, when I let my hair grow and spent a lot of time in the sun. Most Indian women I meet are taller, have longer hair, or have larger waists (not that I'm a stick).
Just as I wonder what it's like to share a name with lots of my neighbors, I wonder what it's like to regularly see people who look like me.
If you know what I look like, and you know someone who looks like me, would you mind sending me a link to his or her picture?
# 28 Jun 2005, 08:52AM: SCOTUS Jokes, Lapsing Into Seriousness:
On Kelo v. New London: I keep accidentally calling it Keno v. New London, maybe since it's now a gamble whether you get to keep your land.
Every Native American now gets to say, "How does it feel, beeyotch?"
Out of life, liberty, and property, you'd think this administration would have at least protected property.
On MGM v. Grokster: Fred von Lohmann's pre-decision guide claimed, "No matter what, we've won." Leonard shook his head and said, "Whenever you say that, you've lost." He further clarified that trying to take your supporters' eyes off whether you win is a clear sign you're losing. Remember, he has software development AND Clark campaign experience!
On FCC v. Brand X (FAQ): if DSL is a common carrier and cable internet isn't, does that mean that cable internet providers can (and have to!) monitor usage for illegal activity but DSL providers don't? OK, not so much a joke as a bewildered hypothetical.
More seriously, on Kelo and on Frances's post and the ensuing discussion: I am trying to articulate why this decision seems so wrong, and reading SCOTUSblog's discussion on it to help me. Frances gets at it when she says, "But in this case, it's not the government building a necessary road, it's the government getting in bed with the private sector to construct an office complex on the land."
The whole point of laissez-faire capitalism is that people are free to make their own decisions in the open market. But why should real estate developers be forced to bargain with sellers when they can make noises about tax revenue (foofaraw promises that will disappear as soon as another municipality gives them a better tax break) and get the government to help them force citizens to sell their rightful property?
What is a public works project? It's kind of like Karl Popper said - I can't say what it is, but I can say what it isn't. Maybe a dam. Maybe a road. Maybe a hospital. Maybe a subway. But it has to be something that will end up owned by the people, through their elected government. Not a privately owned mall. Not a privately owned office park. "Our smoke-and-mirrors projections say it'll bring in tax revenues" is not enough.
John: I understand that you were talking about eminent domain in general, not Kelo. And yeah, the building of roads, highways, railroads, and in general the infrastructure of our civilization involved a lot of eminent domain (and a lot of fraud!).
But just compensation at or above fair market value is a given in eminent domain cases. Maybe I'm confused, but I can't figure out how "fair market value" is ever generous. Is "they'll get FMV money for it that they can use to buy something nicer" really generosity when the recipient doesn't have a choice in the matter? If the government gave you a million dollars and forced you to give up your religion, would you consider that a fair trade? Would you be glad it had happened? What happens when the neighborhood containing the Newport Beach temple comes under the lustful, scheming gaze of some city planner or some developer?
I'm not even certain I agree with Frances in calling the San Jose landowners recipients of a windfall. I'd want victims of eminent domain to receive substantially more than FMV to compensate them for the coercion involved.
Unlike Frances, I'm not up on local abuse-of-ED cases. But power corrupts, and some people within government will try to abuse their powers, and grab after expansions of those powers, and work to dismantle the ability of victims to fight back. And after getting all that power, they'll have to give it up and be mad when the next officeholders come into office and use it.
It's like Jefferson said - if men were angels, we wouldn't need a government in the first place. The limitation of the government's power protects the citizenry. And if you're a Republican who has lost interest in that sort of thing, ask yourself - would you be okay with a Democratic Congress and a Democratic President exercising that power?
# 28 Jun 2005, 09:03AM: Eminem Domain:
More John on Kelo!
I'm glad y'all got a good price for the land. (I thought "arable" meant "good for farming.") But maybe your uncles were, you know, attached to the land. Pearl S. Buck's The Good Earth taught me a little about that. The investments people make in land are not just monetary, just as a job is not just an exchange of time for money. We're humans and we make social and emotional attachments to pets, careers, neighbors, possessions, co-workers, and land. Cemeteries, places of worship, and awe-inspiring natural beauties are sacred land publicly, but each man's home is just as sacred to him.
# 28 Jun 2005, 12:24PM: The Fallacy Of Only Sometimes Noticing Things: I find myself seeing more and more items in the news concerning Kentucky, especially Louisville, now that I know someone who lives there (Brendan). And today I see CafePress has job openings in Louisville! Crazy.
# 29 Jun 2005, 05:37PM: More Comedy:
I have a spare ticket to see Bill Santiago tonight at Cobb's in North Beach. If you want to come with me, email me.
Update: Off to the show! No one emailed. Do call if you still want it....
# 29 Jun 2005, 11:42PM: Back From The Show: Cobb's showcased about seventeen (exaggeration) "comics." Hey, guys and occasional gals? Talking about sex and drugs is not enough! Every few months I forget that mainstream standup sucks but hope grows stronger than hard-won prejudice. More detailed review later. For now: Sheng Wang and Yayne Abeba pleasantly surprised me.
# 30 Jun 2005, 10:03AM: Superstition:
Even in correspondence, I avoid writing a number followed by an exclamation point, since that would be a factorial.
"Good news! He paid $35!"
after all really means
"Good news! He paid $1.0333148 x 1040."
# 30 Jun 2005, 10:12AM: The Traveller:
Sometimes Leonard and I watch Iron Chef America. I like the American version better than the Japanese version because it feels less feudal, and I know I'm not missing anything in translation, and I see women on the show more often, and Alton Brown gives good commentary. (But it does have less grandeur.) Anyway, Leonard always laughs when Brown introduces the floor correspondent, "the Thirsty Traveller, Kevin Brauch." I keep telling Leonard that Kevin calls himself and his show that, but Leonard likes to think it's an epithet or insult of Brown's.
Anyway, on Sunday I was a hungry traveller and I went to Berkeley to eat at Vik's. My MC Masala column on the experience has gone up:
The flavors of Vik's take me home in big and little ways. The coconut and mango drinks and the rice hint that India's a wet peninsula near the equator, with a climate I can only stand in the winter. Vik's also serves the slightly different version of Coca-Cola, "Thums Up," made for Indians but imported to the United States for homesick immigrants.
# 30 Jun 2005, 02:59PM: F(e)asting:
Tomorrow I have my wisdom teeth out. One of them is causing a classic bony molar impaction. I am kind of proud of being a textbook case.
The multiple appointments and conversations leading up to the surgery have pressed upon me the dietary restrictions associated with going under. So today I had a bit of a feast lunch with work colleagues. We went to the fancy-dancy dim sum place downstairs, Yank Sing. Dim sum makes me feel regal and commanding, but waiters interrupt the conversation every five minutes. At least Yank Sing has several vegetarian options and the staff helped find them.
I mentioned my corporate Slate vs. indie Salon analogy, where Slate is a woman who's gone right from her father's house to her husband's, but Salon is a strong, independent woman who's been raised by wolves.
Tonight I might go to Cafe Andree in the Hotel Rex. I'm coddling my sense of taste as though I am my own mom. Or something.
You can hire me through Changeset Consulting.
This work by Sumana Harihareswara is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
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