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Arthur at 4 Months: Arthur had his four month appointment a little late. He was 15 lb 12 oz (51%) and 26 1/4 inches (86%). He showed off his Pilates moves for the doctor who said "if you're going to act like a sixth month old, you should sleep like one!" We agree.

Rhetorical Road Rage:

Me: Do I have a sign on the front of my car that says "will brake for idiots?"
Sienna: No.

Break Me: I've been feeling quite trapped as a mom lately. I've had snatches of this before, mostly moments where I'm hiding with my nursing baby while everyone else has fun. In every day life, a person can decide "I need a break" and then go take one. A coffee break. A walk. A lunch to themselves. One can do errands on any timetable, make plans, exercise, sleep.

I wrote before about Wednesdays and how I get 1:05 to myself, minus driving time. And by "to myself" I mean, with Arthur.

I can name three people who would watch Arthur, whether he cried or not. And recently a friend told me she felt she should offer to take him on a regular basis, so we're trying that out right now. Of course, shortly thereafter I realized I have two other kids that need taking care of at that time. So, I arranged for someone to watch them as well, giving me about an hour and 20 minutes to myself, after driving time, and return for drop off requirements. Do you know what I did with it? Sat in the car writing this post. Seems like for all the effort it is to arrange time to myself, I should do something momentous, but I don't even feel like it after all that. Don't even know what I would do with time to myself. I wish I were cleaning, or exercising, but part of the reason errands seemed appealing during this time was that I had to drive across town to drop Arthur off. Seems silly to do that twice just so I can go home and clean something. Of course I have no errands to run, except for one at a place that apparently doesn't open until 10.

As you can see, arranging a break is basically more work than it's worth. I can never just go do anything because being a mom is a full-time job, not 40 hours a week, or 70 like John works sometimes. 24 hours a day Every Single Day and it never ends and even if I get a break, I had to work extra hard to plan it, arrange it, time it, pack bags for all my kids, prepare snacks, pump milk, drive them places, pick them up, clean it all up and put it away afterwards, and then watch someone's kids to pay them back for watching mine. . Bleh.

So, by the time I get an unexpected five minute break from parenting - say Sienna and Arthur actually slept at the same time - I usually end up wasting it because I'm worn out and exhausted and surely I can clean or fold laundry while they're awake, and someone's going to wake up any minute anyway.

Lest you think I sat here moping for an hour and twenty minutes, I'll have you know I also went to Target and spent $90 on stuff we didn't really need.

Wah: Yesterday's post was really about how Arthur (like most babies) needs to be PUT to sleep and how tired I am of doing it. Between nursing and rocking/patting/shushing/bouncing (yes, I can do that all at the same time) it takes 45 minutes to get him down for a 15 minute nap. Because then he wakes up right when you put him in his crib.

And it's not like this is twice a day. Babies take 3-4 naps (more if they're only 15 min....), plus bedtime, plus waking up in the night, though he's always been great about going back down in the night. It's exhausting and time-consuming physically, and so mentally draining.

According to the internet, I need a PLAN not to just SNAP and put him in his crib to cry. Who knew? Anyway, I made a plan. I've been swaddling just his lower half so he can suck on his hands, or grab his blankie, giving him a stuffed Mickey to snuggle or chew on and letting him cry up to half an hour. So far I've gotten one good nap and two good nights' sleep. He slept until 3 one night after crying for 45 minutes (in two shifts, I checked on him after half an hour) and last night he cried for 20 minutes and slept until 5 (over 9 hours). That's more like it, I tell you. Quite frankly, he was probably crying that much anyway.

I also picked out a couple simple, useful sewing projects to work on during my next few alone times that will both help me feel productive, give me a creative outlet, and allow me to do something I enjoy. For me. Besides spending $90 at Target.

[Comments] (1) Baby Spit: You know when your holding a baby and you're like "uh oh, something warm!" It's so hot, his spit up felt like a refreshing cool spray on my legs.

Gladys Knight Fireside: Last night our stake hosted a fireside by Gladys Knight and the Saints Unified Voices choir. It was a missionary effort, and to get (free) tickets you had to give the names of the people you invited to the ward mission leader. That was no problem for us as I immediately thought of the mom of one of Maggie's friends who is a voice teacher. She was thrilled to go (and impressed it was free). In the end, she also invited a former do-worker of hers, so the three of us went and John stayed home with her daughter and all our kids.

I went to line up around 4:45. She was coming straight from work and made it just in time to be let in to be seated. And then we sat there for nearly an hour while the fireside started 45 late for some unknown reason.

But it was great. The choir was pretty good and there was a short explanation of the Restoration, which somehow was given without saying "Joseph Smith", and a couple short testimonies. But the stand out part to me was Gladys' stage presence. She walked in from the back, all sassy, conducted the choir with such spunk, told jokes, I just loved it. Can't believe she is over 70. You could tell everyone involved loved being there, and that made me smile the whole time.

Probably the longest I've left Arthur - nearly four hours. John didn't even try to feed him, and he didn't really nap and stayed up too late, but was happy being held the whole time.

6.5: Dalton is 6 1/2 now, but I just found the little doctor's note from his well visit the school made me do. He was actually 6 1/4 then. 43 pounds (25%) and 47 inches (67%).

Dalton lost his second tooth yesterday. The permanent tooth had emerged behind it some time ago and is now very far back. I hope it moves into place quickly, but I think our kids are going to need braces for sure.

Dalton loves ponies, school, learning, helping, swimming, scootering, fulfilling responsibilities, being a big brother and making lists. He is always making lists of things he wants to do and then bothering me about doing something on his list every day. He loves getting jobs or assignments and then tackling them, especially if it means he can earn ipad time.

He has started that annoying kid thing whether they bother other people on purpose, but inside he is still our sweetest kid. He gives snuggles, apologizes and forgives easily, and loves everyone. He seems to recognizes when things are crazy and is often the one to make peace and calm things down.

He is brave enough to do what he wants without regards to what "everyone else" is doing, but he is still quite sensitive. He's cried to me more than once about kids that won't play with him - most of his friends are girls and sometimes they just want to play with other girls.

With shoes, and napkins, Dalton is over 48" now and can go on the scary rides at Knott's. He doesn't love them as much as Maggie, but puts on a brave face and I'm proud of him for trying. Love my Dalton-tin.


© 1999-2022 Susanna Chadwick.