Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

The presumption of physical force Who smelled like a smoker, of course. He's a cocksucking faggot! Do you think I'm a faggot? (I felt guilty and full of remorse.) I'm sorry and so sad to hear With their sly, man-trapping weir. To solemnly proffer The best, if you proffer We all make our own cracks in here. A woman from the town of Shannon Was fired from the mouth of a cannon. She said she's concealing Of words double-dealing "But I said, 'You girls should kiss my Canon.'" "It's OK", says the Earl, "you can't pick Proceeded to pull out his dick There was no suspicion From a Los Gatos Commission? But usually ends up in some bar, sick. A hard-on that wilts? Oh no please! "One bloom is far better than ten of these." But his last name's so long Look! It's caught on my dong! "Kilmer's verse makes me weak in the knees!"

There was an old nudist named Ikey With both lovers horny and sticky I doubt if you'll choose And, in neon, 'FREE BOOZE'. This girl knows that you can't be picky. An outrageous young lady named Kyle I haven't been here for a while. Her modem was dead "Won't be fired at my head." "So, therefore, I deem you 'Sir Vile!'" There was a young lady of Lister Who was nicer by far than her sister. He kept husbands at bay 'Model import' to say. Now I'm nursing a bone with a blister. Every good school student learns Who liked to frolic in ferns. One is showing the cold But he's often been told While Lady Luck their orbit spurns. "Yes, Mother Superior, food" To her boyfriend who'd stripped to the nude. So I'd just like to hear Whisper in her ear You expected this line to be lewd.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.