Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Necking with ballplayers? Keep space.
Is something we all have to face.
Saying smoothly, "It toils."
And from now on the toils
Of eating it after the chase.
Maria was killed in her sleep
I may have been too long asleep.
In the town of Emporia.
(No Secrets Victoria)
But can only build walls on the cheap.
Bill Clinton in need of some quips
When dancing would wiggle her hips.
A burning desire
"To a place in the choir."
And lubriciously nudge at your lips?
Of Mendelssohn's Song Without Words
Of prey in a pasture, where herds
Children are reading.
Will it be spreading?
To communicate between nerds.
I'll drive those girls down to the lot
To worry about getting caught.
I'll go with you
And of course wouldn't do
Of Prince Charles' lil' Royal Yacht.
That color of blue is quite nice.
Would cut people dead in a trice.
When the overture played
For a change, he's betrayed
"So don't read much into finding ice!"
We 'cowboy up' with the wild stock
And learned of attack on Iraq.
When my swollen head
Took the testee to bed
Without any help from a cock.
You cannot judge John by his size.
He assured me a pleasant surprise
She jumped on Don's back
He can even smack!
And wouldn't ever win you a prize.
A funeral director, Bud Spears
Not bad. It allays many fears.
To perform with great ease
Running down to her knees?
She pulls brer hare out by the ears.
This is not my most favorite lim.
We thought that the chances were slim.
For it was no myth
When I take a pith.
But man! could that bastard swim!

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, October 24 2014, 23:55:12 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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