Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Now Tock is taking donations
Vibrations and clenching sensations
Until gravitys laws
With her sisters, because
Teleported to distant locations.
My jewel bag holds a collection
Most readily spread by injection.
Sell away the sun
"The work won't be done."
"Brought a blush to the poor girl's complexion."
A young mountain lad name of Horton
Who used a big cleaver to shorten
They acted improper
"Stop! I'll call a copper!"
And a fart like a 500 Norton.
One thing that will never lose worth
There my sis expected a birth.
Guys who bounce when they hump
"If I'm not on your rump?"
"We're the rottenest bastards on earth!"
Said husband, "I think that I see a"
Big camel for days till he owed a
And now they're interred
(From one wise old bird)
So she ended up named Mona Li-a.
They say that Mr Wen Ho Lee
Was put on some warts ranging free.
Now the guests only stay
Paid to have her all day
And claimed that I came before she.
Henry Miller of literary fame
To receive a visit from same!
But 'tis not the size
Cheek's stuck on my thighs!
But no one could prove whence it came.
There was a young lady of Dallas
In environs of Buckingham Palace.
When thinking of jigs
These small Mr Bigs
But complains that her fanny's all callous.
Well, actually, I've had to work
(Please don't giggle, they'll think you're a jerk!)
But I told them, "No way."
"ANY babe, ANY day..."
The dealer does his full duty shirk.
The queen from attackers once flew
"A billy goat! I'm gonna catch you!"
And while you've a shilling
Give records of billing.
And Malo gives spammers their due!

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Thursday, April 24 2014, 22:10:44 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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