Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

One dark night Dorothy swam for a lark.
She of the cutting remark.
The position, to Titian
It stayed intermission.
Which he found in his old buddy Clark.
I once knew a virgin from Rome
And grasp my big stein with it's dome.
And both pi and "e"
Labelled E X I T
"There's all you can take, right at home."
My aunt fed me sassafras tea
We canoodled just once by the sea
On my back, what a plight
In the blissful delight.
And Hillary still wonders, "Is He?"
Begosh and begorra! A contest running
Always strips herself bare when she's sunning.
All her colleagues would flee
Excluding me.
But the pauses between are quite stunning.
I hope that Myfanwy turns up
You noticed my bra is E-cup.
If a miss ever strayed
And his fleet was betrayed
We'd better provide him some sup.
The smart groundhog who's famous as Phil
Is for those who can't take their fill.
But not quite so shocking
"To show so much stocking!"
The cigar is unlighted still!
Or else some political chap
There's no chance of his risking a flap.
Or I fail to impress
I screwed more or less
He thanked her and took a long nap.
She was sure he'd see Bess was a dud.
There are crooks both in Justice and HUD.
I like it on ties
With her wide-open thighs
And then pissed a bucket of blood.
A sweet prima donna Miss Cass
Was irked, because few men looked at her ass.
A big-muscled boy
From his favorite toy
They have no gravitational mass!
There was a fellow named Pete
And act nonchalant when we meet.
They play with their guns
And those cross become hot buns.
And the cops then will have you, tout suite.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Thursday, August 21 2014, 16:00:27 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Document tree:
Site Search: