Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

The cardigan: elderly coat
Hillary has got my vote.
Every year with his staff
Red the Great, at least half
Is urgings of satyr or goat.
When Haman would the Hebrews crush
And tell his companion to hush.
I'd much rather screw
And sex is to boo...
It's quicker than laxative mush!
Good grief! What's that horrible pong?
If men had nine inches of dong.
But we all know full well
That soon she could tell
Old Gert cried, "You're doing it wrong!"
"Oh, I do think you're so very clever!"
On their agenda, work never.
She would peddle her meat
At ten thousand feet.
Is now as weak as ever.
A fellow we once knew as Jed
Had a barrel fall onto his head.
She replied, "With no fuss"
Whatever may please us...
Butter as the UBIQUITOUS spread.
A dazzling young harpist named Morgan
I think Mary's snatch is a Gorgon.
In their trap on a trip.
Ogling ples which were nip
"Skin flute, hanging sax, or organ!"
The Centurion grimly recalls
Paraded in new coveralls.
Now an earnest young crew
And for myself a few
And made me come in my overalls.
Have you heard of this cineaste nerd
Ubiquitous, constantly heard.
But what made me mad
She was caught by her Dad
At work, they have even occurred.
Monstrous misuse of ENORMITY
The first consists of conformity.
Its one special vice?
Strap on the device
Inovation and rebellion finish enormity.
"Normal price--twenty bucks." Madame Rue
To sounds of the forest he must hew.
And the doc did admit
And bash a lout a bit.
She replied, "That's what Dad said so, too!"

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Monday, July 28 2014, 04:15:14 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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