Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

A flatulent Cockney named Billy
Who sucked on her boyfriend's willy.
So she took him home
Further Westward to Rome
"I'll just go slap Appolo Creed silly!"
Oh pity the innkeeper's plight
To sample an evening's delight.
After old Merrill Lynch
For you're clear a full inch
And wet her pink pants at the sight!
The Bureau of Customs has moot
Longed to master the art of the flute.
For instance, his itch
They screamed: "Son of a bitch!"
So I've thought up a scheme that might suit.
"Dear, we're married and now we should say"
"With his jingle bells, reindeer and sleigh?"
To be used, and then left
Don't leave me bereft.
Fighting fair, they just get blown away.
A sickly young fellow named Claude
Lived a 90 year old virgin named Maude.
I don't give a snort
A rhyme of the sort
Make his dates rate him magna cum laude!
The mortician said, "I know what's best."
Especially applied to a guest.
To eat, walk or speak
But 'til then, here's a peek
Of the prince will be those of the rest.
A guy who would not run with women
Found a planet with nothing but women.
It wasn't her face
To send into space
Which attracted loud cheers from the women.
A well-built young fellow named Buck
Came with the wife, just my luck.
But before we can lay
Out a-jiggle that way!
Shows Adam the right way to fuck.
No wonder a sign has decreed
Was forever to do the good deed.
But the swell of the ocean
So please put in motion
And I'll rock with a var-yable speed!
"Dinner? Your place? How romantic!"
Why Peter, you've got me just frantic!
Could I come to stay?
(Except those who were gay.)
Shows potential for future tricks antic.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Wednesday, January 28 2015, 01:20:06 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2015 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Document tree:
Site Search: