Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

We treat Mary (of unknown locality)
And her lamb without proper formality.
You say he's a liar
But her cunt quenched the fire
Increase with lost morality.
And there you are still on the phone.
(One of us must set the tone)
He prepared a fine blend
Brought her plight to an end
And cured of this permanent bone.
And you, dear Petunia? You
The regime didn't know what to do.
By letting me seize
Bite your pillow please
Who'll dye hair in shades pink and blue.
Involved in this heated debate
The king of the old Russian state
And they stream past each ear
"I've a customer here."
By his audience, unfed and irate.
There is a fair maid by the sea
While Shakespeare went up him with glee.
Especially with "schmear" (additions)
And tweak politicians.
"I've managed to satisfy me."
A lady just asked him to dance
"Some cream in your coffee, perchance?"
A delicious co-ed
You should get some head.
Creating a pirates' romance.
The men never left with a scowl.
Was neither, my son, fish nor fowl.
She did learn in a thrice
You must holler twice
An odor so fetid and foul.
Plastic surgery reached new dimensions
Which lead to them getting detentions.
But pity the man
And squeezed her fine box an'
For a fat bunch of honorable mentions.
But the worst one that I ever saw
While Congress debates impeachment law.
Next in line there was Tom
"You're better than Mom."
When time came for him to withdraw.
It is said that Salome Ann Taylor
Went out one night with a sailor.
But when they missed a bucket
And borrowed Dave's bucket
"You're forgetting that I am your jailer."

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, March 03 2015, 08:55:05 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2015 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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