Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

George Bernard Shaw always knew
Having sex with a horse, and that's true!
Since changing to Euros
And protected cargoes
"I just cornholed myself with a cue!"
"This cannot be true", I thought. "Damn!"
Did he forget who I am?
I took her to dinner
We'll all be thinner.
They won't vote for her. She'll be ham.
There was a young lady named Grace
Her toy did improperly place.
Till a Cro-Magnon virgin
I ceased to be virgin!
For he thought it could win him a race.
While sailing along the Euphrates
His subjects along the Euphrates
But their honeymoon cruise
Of various hues.
Imeters, I'd be in the eighties.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave
But I find it hard to believe.
Can a pro be a con?
"Of passionate flesh on...?"
Said Adam, "I blame it on Eve."
There was a young man of St. Paul
Pulled off a piece in the hall.
Just like in Viet Nam
Said, "My dear, you're not jam!"
Each moment dreading I'd fall.
Aussie foreplay? An absolute waste!
And I do not speak in haste.
Their exotic technique
Can go on for a week
"Will help me get rid of the taste."
Gules on a pale between four
Who wore fifty-six beads, nothing more.
He treated for migraine
"How you made that methane."
They put it away in a drawer.
Disputatious old Uncle McKee
Whether she sits or stands to pee.
Some lose and some gain
While I sailed down the lane
Your anger is displaced on me.
Sorority sisters Sam found
Some fit in square holes, some in round.
But there on her couch
Algophobic, I'd vouch.
All the guys on the road I'll astound.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Wednesday, August 05 2015, 08:30:06 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2015 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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