Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Rimmey visited Trinity Site
Took on seven fellows one night.
Some people will use
Dear Hans to produce
"But don't break your rod, which is slight."
Don't think is will fall to your lot
And he boiled that thing in a pot.
But the Madam and "Girls"
In their gym-slips and curls!
Wherever your are, it is not!
Oh God, how ever could this be...
For Safety, Rules one, two, and three.
They asked, "Why should we bother"
To learn who's the father...
But the electorate's dumber than he.
Wild Willy's actions don't BEHOOVE
But Hank sure thought that it would move.
They're handy in the car
Those dear Scots won't get far
By getting his goods in your groove.
"When a senator strongly promotes"
Then thunder, a shower of quotes
"I'll make the man's day."
Can just rabbit away
Lee and Yang harvest Riemann's wild oats.
An ambitious young man from Hope
He made things to just help us cope.
The mullah told her dad
If you haven't had
At the inquest, they blamed it on dope!
A mathematician named Hurd
When writing, it's sometimes inferred.
He liked to eat pork
Put down that fork.
Thus the early worm getteth the bird.
A commonplace fellow named Sy
You put marks on your ruler. Sir, I
An old Scot named McFee
Since Nineteen-0-Three
If not, all the clergy will cry.
Infestations require fumigation
The luckiest dog in creation.
So he charmed little girls
Had bulges and curls.
I've been lurking and taking notation.
Now that I'm rolling in cash
This kid needs a dose of the lash.
Lure beachcombers for miles.
They all left with smiles.
Half your stash and offers nary a splash.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, October 21 2014, 07:10:12 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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