Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

There once was a lady named Jill
Who swallowed a nuclear pill.
But what you do where
"There's a pipe wrench up there."
And Jill was stuck with the bill.
Yet the battle for office still rages
Promise life after death with the sages.
And they had orgasms
While she just orgasms
For his Times only lines his bird cages!
McDonalds? Too expensive a dish.
Who was filled with a passion for fish.
The semantics are clear
When I'd scream "My dear!"
Then gLIBly to "daughter of..." swish.
A bubble-gum addict named Joan
For two years, so don't you make moan.
Took a passionate fancy
"When my dear fiancee"
To a limited parcel-post zone.
In all of my eyes, the true hate shows.
He's naked from his head to his toes.
The Birkenstock fit
Just for the hell of it.
Floats skyward, or so the script goes.
Osama! Osama Bin Laden!
Once conquered a lovely young maiden.
Now his bushy moustache
And a walrus mustache.
"Is better than melon or maiden."
There once was a man from Iraq
For now he has a very hard cock.
Young men he'd embrace
Winning the race
He wore nothing at all 'neath his frock.
A young lady from Cincinnati
Who is thought by her friends to be catty.
The time of commission
It stayed intermission.
Had serviced his rampant meat patty.
They say that a limerick a day
"Jump in bed and we'll have us a lay."
She never does wear
We heard him declare
And the skies were all murky and grey.
The daring young fag from Atlanta
Had a hot Christmas Eve with old Santa.
The best ones we'll share
And she thought it was where
And slid on it into Atlanta.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Monday, March 30 2015, 04:25:07 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2015 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Document tree:
Site Search: