Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

A fat-fannied farmgirl named Myrtle
Whose womb was exceedingly fertile.
Where we draw the line.
"It's not sex, and that's fine!"
The headlines read: "Pope Springs a Turtle!"
"The eminent Bishop of Birmingham"
Does refuse to get with the program.
But sometimes the juice
Who then left -- what abuse!
"One or both,--I don't give a goddam!"
An anthropologist know just as Jim
"Is with passion you're filled to the brim."
She glanced in the mirror
And then you'll see clearer.
Making love as a business is grim.
There was a quite drunk and a fat man
Said, "I will do what I can"
'Cause honey, what's coming
And my heart was drumming
"With Lucy, out there in the van."
An able young harlot named Bobby
Who pinched nice young "birds" as a hobby.
When the planet was plundered
Its fate, and I wondered
And stews them all filled with kohlrabi.
You're right, trouble shouldn't be brewed.
Try giving the creature some food.
"I should have got skin"
And since then has been
And try to shag some policeman dude.
A girl who was quitting the Hyatt
Should favor a vegetable diet.
"I surely had fun"
Changing lira at one
Then I'm out on the streets causing riot!
The comedian lives under a strain
Who dropped her best drawers down a drain.
When horses catch sight
Like to join 'em tonight
"And I'm taking it with me to Maine."
A talented chap from Bordeaux
I've seen limerickers come and go.
He noted the size
And position, those guys
To Palestine went M and Joe.
A Russian Doc said "It's the pits!"
We're taking these bozos to bits
A couple of tubes
And fashioned her boobs
Without 'em I'm lame, I admits.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Monday, December 22 2014, 09:50:05 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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