Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

But Mary she couldn't withstand
Who had a grenade in his hand.
He lured girls and boys
But prefer for my toys
(They'll not Miss Janet's fine milk gland!)
"Tennis? No, not in this dress!"
For Carl, I confess, is a mess.
The world of education
Sang hymns with elation
The truth or the lies. I just guess.
Technology's way of enhancing
Around on the stage and the prancing
She records the position
Has him in sad condition.
And spent the night watching 'Come Dancing.'
With a whore, a frail fellow named Jay
"Can you show me the way to Bombay?"
And thus it's apparent
When you are a parent
Nice hooters and hair color of hay.
There was a young man from Milan
When he wed twenty year old Yvonne.
So I sit here and type
I can't light up my pipe.
But the 'mum throne, a girl cannot sit on.
There once was a housewife of Chard
Though like her, I've put on some lard.
But this song and dance
We planned in advance
And told him that things could stay hard.
A brother with no couth nor class!
Whose head was far up his ass.
For how can I know
"You're becoming quite slow."
"But the tinsel is giving me gas!"
A rather odd Scotsman called Jock
From his tootsies up to his cock.
When they loudly yelled "Fire!"
For a boy in the choir
The size of a huge concrete block.
It was just last week that I learned
To put out those fires that burned.
For signals at night
Since he wed Nina Knight...
And silent worms never were spurned.
The young widow of the late Don Ramon
has moved upstairs (above my zone).
For they've joineed with the slime
To cut down sleep time.
Is willing to throw me a bone.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, April 18 2014, 18:30:39 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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