Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

A liquor store owner named Fein I'm reminded of what made her shine. It caused her to scratch Her poor bloodied snatch? "In Arkansas this stuff worked fine." The wily old Duchess of Wings "We rulers indulge in such things" He pulled out a tack I've noticed the lack "And that candy ass -- Jello on springs!" Despite the repeated request Who fucked with his wife with great zest. Nightly she made him beg. And an enormous peg. To pick up the shards, quite distressed. Don't fall for the time-honored trap Who caught a bad case of the clap. Hell no, what I'm thinkin' If you are not thinkin' He's faint at the mere sight of sap. In a Bolshevik bar underground Time to come back to this playground. In place firmly set (That's so funny I've wet.) For choosing the slowest old greyhound.

He screwed up his courage one day "Those were Frenchmen on exercise, Grey!" Now steel melt should be heeded The menfolk all pleaded For at least fourteen days she will stay! My Dear Wife, when asked to hear "The Chinese military are here." To let no false pride When the Health Plans provide That can stretch all his tongue to his ear. At a circular barm they were able "Now ladies and gents, I'm unable" On his food the chef fed I LOVE screwing in bed... Before rolling drunk 'neath the table. The White House does not guarantee The word doesn't mean shit to me. She said, "You are pleasant" He'll give her a present For no canner can can a can, can he? While they dined at the Waldorf, McGill Then you're probably mentally ill. Your G-spot is worn So I did not scorn "Which for me is TOO much of a thrill!"

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.