Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Some gals would be glad that he spat
I am gracious and fat
Eight inches between
They think it's obscene
We've all got to learn to say SCAT!
Way back in the old days of yore
"God loves you and gives you a chore."
They can flood your home
In Stutgart or Rome
So much for "small government" lore!
While the coozy on Connie is cute
What job or profession would suit?
There they are, laying 'round
In Iraq on the ground.
"Bend over! I'll give you the boot!"
"Those earrings our poor victim wore"
And rolling in laughter, explore
What clipped his caboose
She said, "I can't reduce"
"Perhaps 'twill be less of a chore."
There was a young lady named Wong
A monster of legend and song.
When spreading the word
And said, "Ain't you heard?"
"But must I use that to go wrong?"
I can quite categorically state
Said, "Child, seek a man when you do mate"
"But I can say with affinity"
Though they go to infinity.
Though in hot summer, it would abate.
When a door's not a door it's bizarre
Drink up what you've left in the jar.
You all cock-a-doodle
And ain't got an oodle
For 'twas less dangerous than his socks are.
The best part was all that warm lotion!
Who to Phaedra caused quite a commotion.
I find that drilling
You'll get something filling.
Or "the Jordan" instead of "the ocean".
Presidential minions' DEFERENCE
Assuredly they are my preference.
He needs to drink more
What I love and adore
And hope they will give me a reference.
We are tired of the hawing and hemming.
What we want is a "big spending" stemming.
She'd wax it and pluck it
She shouted "Oh Shit!"
Aren't you tired of just being a lemming?

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, September 01 2015, 14:05:06 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2015 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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