Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

A conceited young flasher named Wier I'm not as small as you fear. To allay her suspicion To hunters on mission Don't be rude, doff your red nose-ring, dear. They were floating down stream on a raft. Who became exceedingly daft. When they put him in jail "What a waste of fine tail!" But then suffering's part of the craft. While naked, I sat there just tuning More and more folks have now begun pruning. And I gave them all sorts From where loud reports While your instrument she was tuning. There was a young fellow named Thomas To Bush showed, poor and black, real promise. A banshee instead 'Cause she'd give them head When they call this a nation of promise. A man who wore three-legged suits Was enlarged by some oversize roots. Of his personal title To an organ so vital Because banks don't care two bloody hoots.

The students of Yale all agreed To move into the Lodge at great speed. One said let's go in And stuck it right in. Is to practice and practice this deed. "It is odd," said a doctor named Nate. He said, about marriage, "Let's wait." I slept on last time. Yet strangely sublime. We might hit the wall....BANG!...to late. The boldness that I now discover As a glass he is such a good lover. You really show class To pass some gas For she did her best work under cover. 9 holes for some golfers is game. That it's amateurs who are to blame. Someone call the big So it looked like a MIG "Is the one who forgets my first name!" On good old Malaya's shore What I'm looking for now's something more He floated away Be deprived of its prey Now stop me is you've heard this before.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.