Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Our bouyant new physics instructor
His pupil, a sweet train conductor.
But they don't know what they're missing
'Cause there's lots of good kissing
While afloat on a magnetic inductor.
Once again, armed hijackers have struck
I'm standing here nude in the muck!
And she whispered, "Remember"
The word as an ember
Before I got in, I got stuck.
That woman named Lady Godiva
Made Coventry's menfolk saliva....
So he stood on the cliff
Who cares, what's the diff?
Saw plenty to build up saliva.
There was a woman from Buffalo
And lathering intern willow
He received in the mail
He fell in a pail
And in this way was born the torpedo!
Dr Klein, the topologist, thought "I'll"
Headed a New York twin bill.
But they had their way
"Oh really? I'd say"
Where there's a way, there's a will.
The spoiled lazy brat, oft would rail
For abortions he'd put them in jail.
Is it too much wet snow?
And they have proof to show
While his pecker was battered by hail.
In the course of recurrent events
From one's sexual opposite's scents.
'Til the last of my breath?
She should be thrilled to death
Unless you gives up and repents.
With key in ignition, I'm thwarted.
Around by himself and contorted
Who dares even think
To lessen the stink
But it ended up bent and distorted.
A wholesome young maiden from Joy
Who spread out her legs for a boy.
And sent into hades
I pounce on young ladies
But help isn't any -- too coy!
"Halt!", cried Virginia, "Enough!
For me is proving too tough.
But a good rule of thumb
We'll be sufficiently dumb
And he found himself out in the rough.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Monday, April 27 2015, 13:40:06 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2015 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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