Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Is what you'll require to fit
He's certainly lacking in wit.
And I wonder who'll wince
From Clary (Lims' Prince)
And finished her, lickety split.
Things going fine and then "BAM"!
Few newbies showed up worth a damn.
So Brutus and co.
Till century show
To wed smoothly my truffles and SPAM.
A suave Venetian named Guido
Who was cursed with excessive libido.
Only nature should do
A breathtaking view.
But you get more tail while in a tuxedo.
There once was a fair young lass
Who was at the top of her class.
Changes diurnal
Putrid! Infernal!
And killed our poor dog from the gas!
"Bone of my bones," was Adam's decree.
Of worn out old pheasants. Now bid me
Let me clean off the mess
Everyone will guess
All over my feet, thighs, and knee.
Therefore I brush and I brush
And her voice then in torrents did rush.
Can insert his own foot
And you're covered with soot.
But damn it! He had a straight flush!
Clinton has sent our forces to Kosovo.
Sought wealth, be it beg, steal or borrow.
For there in a glade
By a wealthy old maid
And Ma gave a delighted solo.
It's a fact, they should truly have names.
Was bored with the common love games.
Cried, "What do you want?"
But what I most want
With him chatting her titties, she claims.
The teeth fit. The prince is quite smitten.
Whose pussy was as soft as a kitten.
er. He kept going 'round
(All of it sweet and sound)
They split, and her bottom was bitten.
I'm trying not to cause a commotion
Around here that's a popular notion.
He was good fun until
Then put on the grill
What could have been bottled as lotion.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, September 02 2014, 11:30:13 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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