Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

A pernicious old wino from Spain
You wait for erection -- in vain.
The doctor and nurses
My amorous verses
With a highly embarrassing stain.
A nearsighted cleric from Queens
I'm afraid that I know what that means.
But I'm thinking "Good Grief!"
But brought grief, not relief.
Who could see through confessional screens!
A neuropath virgin named Flynn
At beach or tan parlors can't win.
Now if you want a friend
He'd reached his sad end.
She feels my cock tickling her chin!
A somewhat deaf man of New York
Who thought babes all came from the stork.
Not length, but in girth.
If she moves to Earth.
She had no white wine to uncork.
Have you heard of Emrhys, my boy?
With a very small vial for a toy.
Is cover with flowers
So just where have my powers
Do you think I am being too coy.
High-voltage electrical games
Is a master of numbers and names!
With her. "Did you feel that?"
And if a wet cat
"Be as bad as the other guy claims."
Let us sing of the Masters of War
Always more than they'd put up before.
The only drip that you get
Said, "My God! You are wet!"
And include accomplice Al Gore.
To the gate of St. Peter came Nick.
Spoke one word of English, the hick.
Said he, "My last steps"
I repeat purchase Schweppes
The last line had to end with a kick.
A sultry soprano from Chews
But the lesson he learned we can muse.
We'll tune in tomorrow
"You can dance the calypso."
An offer she'd never refuse.
I couldn't resist that girl's charm
I'll soon will be leaving the farm
But when he let rip
Twixt the cup and my lip
For raising a "falsie" alarm.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Saturday, July 26 2014, 13:10:14 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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