Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

There was an old harlot named Shields
To those in the detective fields.
I think you're my man
When I turn on C-SPAN
And had fun by plowing in fields.
Ballooning sounds like the right way
Required all the ladies to pay.
The good will he had got
(and there were a lot)
And "swish!" Here comes another sick-day!
A prospective young football recruit
Who had a remarkable root.
Plays a role in dreams
They all worked, it seems.
Of this there can be no dispute.
Does he come no more here to play?
Who jerked off all over the hay.
We'll watch the sun rise.
And got in on the prize.
Be careful when you get risque.
In Akron a fellow named Dwight
Much harder for life to ignite.
"GESUNDHEIT!" she said
Making room for my head.
Which gives the poor doctor a fright.
The carpenter learned to improve
But Hank sure thought that it would move.
On the end of his nose
All twelve fingers plus toes
And "embetters" life for guys in his groove.
To spin means to shine the best light
Guess we have to stay here tonight.
(Excepting taxes)
We are all paying his taxes.
Has made all my women take flight.
It's thanks to the work that I'm doing
From his aunt took a lesson in screwing.
They still have the tails
And practiced her scales
Not steak, but JELL-O a brewing.
You'll soon learn to relish the smell
And throw in an extra "L".
Her runs were not always
"Come with mayonnaise?"
And trying to walk was pure hell.
There once was a fellow named Hecker
A luscious blonde nympho named Decker
And I'm asking now
It's, instead, from a cow.
When they hauled it off using a wrecker.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Wednesday, October 01 2014, 04:15:27 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2014 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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