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: It's Novemberlicious! I'm Novemberlicious!

: My {car,life} is falling apart. May have already fallen apart.

Start your day with gasoline
Rev yourself with Mr. Clean
Power up with Thorazine

Start your day with motor oil
Stand it back and watch it boil
Live it up with potting soil
Potting soil

I don't have a third verse. Not very good, but what did you expect? Don't answer that. Implied, Lisa? Or implode?

: I should probably put some good lyrics in here, rather than ones I just made up, so that people don't get an abnormally low idea of my lyric-writing abilities. But I'm so lazy and tired and depressed that all I can do is wave you at music and let you fend for yourself.

: Dinosau r Auction Snares $1 Million. A fairly run-of-the-mill article, but the headline makes it sound like the auction was some sort of scam.

: My music history essay is pretty lame, but it has a great title: Concerto for Several Patches: Wendy Carlos's Interpretation of the Third Brandenburg Concerto

I forgot to mention that Dan says that there is an MLA form for citing the output of a computer program. The MLA people need to get out more. Who am I to talk?

: It's official: Jon Katz loves Katzdot!

: I finally found a use for the limes. They can be used to make Hansens Mandarin Lime soda potable.

: "Live it up with potting soil" reminds me of a joke Andy put in a ZZT game (Mansion of Bill, for those who care) about potting soil as a pizza topping. "Trust me, it's great! Go out back and dig some up! You'll love it! I swear!" And don't forget Baked Potato on a Bun.

Andy and I should form a biotechnology startup. He'll be the bio and I'll be the technology. Let's make lots of money.

: Argh. Argh. Argh.


In conclusion, argh.

: They had the steel cage all ready to go, but I think I managed to prevent the actual meeting. I identified all the pieces correctly, I think. The stuff that got me was the questions about orchestration and dates and such. And the essay (which turned out okay, or so I think in my sleep-deprived state) is only worth 20% of the midterm grade. That's gotta hurt.

: This article doesn't even consider the possibility that the moon might actually be a god! What kind of science is that?

: Related to the previous note: I thought Michael Shermer was going to be on campus today, but it's Thursday. It's Friday! I may buy his book. I have a little money, it's only $25, and it would be cool to have an autographed copy.

: Eric Guenterberg gave me a mod_rewrite thing to use on my fire account. So now accessing any page in my old webspace on fire will automatically redirect you here. Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year! Thanks, Eric!

: Leonardonics: Next time, on X's Creek, the pothead techie joke, we're your station, x.

: I think that The Register overestimates the place that Guy Fawkes Day holds on the U.S. calendar of holidays. On the other hand, I probably shouldn't have told Scott to proofread that Super Bowl article for Segfault.

: The next Leonardonics items on the list are the Demon Dog and his catchphrase, "Rehrehreh!". I love doing Leonardonics, and I really wish more people would have personal slang dictionaries.

: !!! Jon Katz has started actually using Katzdot to do his story headlines.

: I finally got Dan to accept that no natural number is of infinite magnitude. The upshot of this is that he now has to accept that the real numbers can be diagonalized but the natural numbers cannot. Now maybe we can have some peace around here.

The proof is a simple proof by induction: Zero is of finite magnitude. If x is of finite magnitude, so is x+1. Therefore, all natural numbers are of finite magnitude.

: I went to hear Michael Shermer speak. Not as good as I thought he would be, but still very good. I bought both his books (Why People Believe Weird Things and the new one, How we Believe: The Search for God in an Age of Science), which he signed "Best skeptical wishes" and "In glorious contingency", respectively. The man is a nut! Heyooo!

: Dan is trying to do the plot for his latest game, Hover Carnage (we are doing a whole family of never-to-be-finished "x Carnage" games; my contribution will be "Tic-Tac-Toe Carnage"). And he's really set on having a real plot, and he's really set on having nanotech in the game. But nanotech just totally removes any conceivable reason why you would run a hovercar around abandoned tunnels at breakneck speed firing mini-nukes at other people in hovercars, except for some sort of death {clock, sport}, and that's so cliche it's not even funny.

: Harry Steven Keeler! And lots of him!

: This is a non-miscarriage of justice! A NON-MISCARRIAGE!!!

: Disclaimer: {36,24,36} is not technically a set, since it contains a duplicate number. Only if she's 5'3"!

: I figured out a better plot for Dan's game than the lame one we had before. The tunnels are in mines on asteroids and the like. The mines are for elements not found in abundance on Earth; although nanotech is avaliable, large-scale element fusion or whatever that's called, is not. So you and the other miners are duking it out, protecting and staking your claims.

The inspiration for Hover Carnage is an old arcade game called Stunrunner, if that means anything to you. Does the name really mean anything to you?

: I told my mother about the findings of fact in the Microsoft case, and she was right in there with all this legalese. I always forget that she was going to be a lawyer.

: The premise of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, in the part where the antagonists are trying to frame Smith as owning the land where the camp/dam will be located, is flawed. All Smith has to do is point out that if he really did own the land, he could sell it to the government for the dam just as easily as for the boy's camp, so he would have no motive for stalling the dam bill.

: Last night I {had a crazy dream, got mail from Chris Roddy} of Da Warren and Death and Destruction fame. He found Crummy (more specifically, he foudn the D&D tab) whilst ego-surfing and dropped me a line. He is attending Emory in Atlanta, and has a homepage, of sorts.

Midterm tomorrow. Midterm Wednesday. I'm trying to figure out whether or not R. Buckminster Fuller is crazy. I think that the way he writes is deliberately engineered to make the reader think he's crazy. But why would he do that?

: When spiral galaxies attack!

: I had an idea for Be Dope, but no time to write the story. In fact, I don't even have time to write this entry that points to Mike's treatment of the idea. Gotta go fail this midterm now.

: Argh. Steel cage carnage. I'm out half an hour early because I couldn't do the problems I couldn't do. I really, really couldn't do them. They required knowledge about secondary B+-tree indices and safe Datalog, knowledge which I do not posess. So I just guessed.

: How can you write an article that involves Frank Zappa as much as does this Salon article, yet is as bad and nonsensical as that selfsame article?

: The problem with America's teenagers is that we as a nation are failing them. We are failing them by no longer producing those silly high school movies and TV shows like Saved by the Bell and Ferris Beuller's Day Off. Today's youth lack constructive goofing off role models.

: Last night I did have a crazy dream. I dreamt {I lived in marble halls, that there was an ice cream flavor named after Eli Gafni}. It was a mix of honey mustard ice cream (?!) and some other, equally gross kind of ice cream. It tasted horrible.

Why is Prof. Gafni so cool? I don't know. He just lives to kick algorithmic ass. I don't think he teaches any undergrad classes besides CS180, though.

That reminds me, I have to sign up for 2 of next quarter's classes a week from today. Don't let me forget!


< Get cowsay now! >
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: I converted and put up a picture I took of myself about a week ago. Why is my hair crooked like that? It always happens. I want it to be on top of my head. Argh.

Why am I even worrying about this right now?

: The joke's on us. Katzdot has seemingly become an essential tool for Jon Katz. Or is Katzdot just really, really good at what it does?

: By some miracle I managed to not do horribly on that midterm.

: Dan found an IRC script that has a bunch of lines from AOL chat rooms and prints one out randomly. I'm fairly sure they're real AOL chat room lines. It would be more amazing if one person could think all of them up.

: Friday is to be movie night. Dan is done with his midterms on Friday, so I'm going to rent all the good movies he hasn't seen and we're going to watch them. Movies I think are good that Dan has not seen include Barton Fink, The Big Lebowski, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, the Star Wars trilogy, 200 Motels, Monty Python/Holy Grail, Monty Python/Life of Brian, Dr. Strangelove, and any given Marx Brothers movie. The only movie Dan could think of that he likes and I haven't seen is Sneakers. Finally, I'm not the person in a group of two people who knows less about movies!

I'm not sure that Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is good. I remember thinking it was really good, and the concept is a sound one, but I don't really remember much about it. So I reserve the right to revoke my endorsement of it.

: I used to not like grapes, because I was surrounded by them (literally; our house was in the middle of miles of grape fields). But now I think they are good booze (not literally).

: Mike added poll bars to the poll results and generally made the poll results nicer to look at. I bumped up the version to 0.95. Still vaguely working towards the new 1.0 rewrite.

Peter and I are also starting to work on another hypertext for the Madman CGI, and I am kind of working on eCow, a CGI interface to cowsay, which will be the next feature. Monty Hall's Hall of Doors needs to be a feature as well.

: I got an 87.5 on my Music History midterm, well out of the reach of steel cages (anything less than a normalized 75-80 is steel cage territory as far as I'm concerned). My essay was well-received.

: I'm wondering if it would be worth it to get the Mad Magazine CD-ROM and try to get it to work with Linux, the way someone got the Star Trek Encyclopedia to work with Linux.

: I did horribly on the database midterm, even compared to everyone else, who also did horribly. This is not good.

: A rudimentary version of eCow works on sal. Dan is obsessed with the idea that someone might be able to break the security. I'm pretty sure it's tight. But I need to make the controls look better and write some copy before I put it up.

: Check out the artist's rendering for this dinosaur story. I've never seen a dinosaur drawn with that foot positioning before.

Hm, there was another dinosaur, which sounds like it looks even more interesting, but there's no photos or rendering of it. "This dinosaur had 600 teeth, but we're not going to show it to you."

Finally, enjoy a nutritious meal of buckyballs.

: I had a funny Transmeta story (which did not in any way resemble any previous Transmeta story ever written, so shut up), but it looks like the point will be moot come Monday. Or maybe it will just be a big tease and I can run with the story. At any rate, many of the jokes can be reused in another story.

: Telescope catches star just exploded. The horse raced past the barn fell down.

: From Jake's notebook (onerous unum misspelling corrected):

i've been falling asleep to "rite of spring" which is awesome, though not entirely conducive to falling asleep. if stravinsky was a conventional action hero i'd say "stravinsky does it again! buckle up, this is a wild ride! two thumbs up- way up!". luckily for us all, he's not.

: UCLA wants me to get a senior portrait taken. If you ask me, it sounds like just another scam to line their pockets with my hard-earned money.

: !!!!!

: While in Blockbuster today, I realized that I had forgotten to mention the ultimate teen high school goof-off movie, Rock 'N' Roll High School.

: I scored a couple points above the mean, and several points above the median, in the CS112 midterm. I estimate my grades for this quarter thusly: CS112 B, CS143 C, Music History A, Philosophy A.

: Sometimes I feel like I need to make a movie, but then I remember that my movie has already been made, and that it is called The Big Lebowski.

: I just published a segv story and I changed "Year 2000" to "Y2K" because "Year 2000" sounded funny. When did this happen? I feel dirty.

: Okay, we're past the halfway mark. Grail, Lebowski, and Star Wars down; Motels, Fink, Rabbit, and Monkey Business to go. Return of the Jedi was not the special edition, even though it was in the special edition box. Bastards!

Dan wants to take huge breaks between movies. I don't understand that. I mean, ten minutes, okay. An hour and a half, no. This is a movie marathon, not a non-movie marathon! This is a court of law, not a court of justice!

: Leonardonics: Xfest '89

: We watched Monkey Business, and only Monkey Business, yesterday. I don't know when the videos are due. I have them for five days, but does that include the day I got them? It's so much hassle. I don't know why I bother sometimes.

: The bizarre comic strip poll on Slashdot gave me a couple hits to Dada Pokey, but I can't find an actual link to Dada Pokey anywhere in the comments. Weird.

: I found it. Never mind.

: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is not that good. I was disappointed. The concept is brilliant, but eh...

It didn't help that I watched it right after Barton Fink.

: Watch in horror as eCow takes to the air!

: I added Katzdot and eCow to the features page. If you get a weird thing where the eCow graphic background doesn't match up with the page background, let me know.

: There's a new paper down at gnu.org. I think it's very funny, on several different levels.

: If you do an Altavista image search for "turkey", the turkey crossing sign from the Texas travelogue shows up on the first page of results. There are a whole lot of people doing Altavista image searches for "turkey". It took me a while to figure out why, but I figured it out.

: YES!! Note to the BBC: Give the guy who thinks up these so-bad-they're-good headlines a raise!

: From an email Susanna sent to me:

> I drove to Arizona and back on Monday night. got back at seven in the
> morning. No reason just did. Never doing it again, it was stupid.


Susanna's email style is a lot like my mother's. Interesting.

Susanna never updates her homepage. Oh well.

: Oh yeah, I also got the customary once-in-a-while message from Dave Griffith last night. If only Andy would reply to his mail, I'd be surrounded by Da Warren people.

: I went through all the Gnome Aisleriot card games. Good ones: Elevator, Fortunes, Freecell, Pileon, Scorpion, Spider, Yukon.

: Mystery solved!

Alka-Seltzer's famous "Spicy Meatballs" spot, first aired in 1969, depicted an actor downing endless forkfuls of spaghetti during the filming of a commercial for "Magadini's Meatballs." Dozens of takes are botched, and the hapless actor, gorged and nauseated, can barely utter his big line: "Mama Mia, that's a spicy meatball!"

Jose Preciado had a bit that went "'Ats one hot-ta burrito!" That's tangential, irrelevant to the mystery solved. The mystery solved was, from where does "That's a spicy meatball!" come?


One squid even mistook a 15,000-ton tanker for a whale. After striking the ship three times, the poor beast slid into the ship's propellers, turning it into the world's largest sushi platter.

Mr. Bond, this machine will turn you into the world's largest sushi platter.

: I didn't even notice that Be Dope linked to eCow until I saw over 20 hits from the link in the access log.

: Instead of Frank Black from Millenium, Scully and Mulder should team up with Frank Black from The Pixies. Then we'd see some action!

: I couldn't get any mail today, but it's working again now. So resend anything that bounced.

: One thing that people who are around me for any length of time know is that I'm constantly singing for no reason. It's completely involuntary; I'm just compelled to do it. I have yet to have anyone actually complain about this, or I'd try to stop. But lately I have been singing songs that I hate, like "Sweet Caroline". And it's annoying.

: Oh yeah; Kurtis, Kris's brother, is going to UCLA now. I saw him yesterday. He's a nut! He's living with Kris, and I think there needs to be a sitcom on that theme.

Gotta go to class now. I should probably find something to eat first.

: My favorite games: freeciv, XBlast, and ADOM. ADOM isn't open source, but it's an awesome game.

: I'm trying to move the MP3s over from linux to sith, but this is complicated by the fact that I can't reach one machine from the other. It's the fault of someone in the middle. In the meantime, you can get the new MP3s (new MP3s of recordings over a year old) of Liquid Crystal and Western Culture on the Skids at the new AYAO? MP3 site. Get Liquid Crystal. It will, it will rock you (take it from Jake). It has killer lyrics and bouncing a spoon off the guitar strings, so the only way to lose is not to play at all.

: Oh yeah, I used a not-based-on-the-codebase-every-other-free-mp3-encoder-is-based-on MP3 encoder, so hopefully the non-Unix noodling problem should finally be dead. Let me know otherwise.

: I'll probably be spending most of the day working on the new Open Standards Band website. I did finally move all the MP3s over to this machine (except for Sorry It's Late and the PPvDD thing; the former may be moved over eventually, but I need to figure out where to put it).

Scott is supposed to talk with me today about the new version of Segfault. But you know Scott.

I'm going home this afternoon. Spending Thanksgiving at my aunt Pat's house. I have another music history midterm, and accompanying essay, next Tuesday.

: Scott actually responded in a timely fashion, so scratch the OSB thing for today.

: Back from vacation. Please do not write "dot.com" unless you really mean "dot dot com".

: Is this the best you can do?!?! C'mon, bring it on!

: My essay is nearly done. I don't know how well I'll do on the midterm. I have to start attending those review sessions.

I also have a job interview today. I don't know it's going to go. I don't know what kind of interview it is.

: Oh yeah, Peter is in town for a while, so I'll see him today. There's an archetype that Peter embodies perfectly, like Pelorat in the later Foundation books, or the guys in Foucault's Pendulum. I think that if you're going to be a professor in the humanities, you have to fulfill either that archetype or the bitter, crusty old person archtype.

: My midterm went well. My interview went well. I'd better go back home soon and see Dan so he can infuse me with the need to complain, or I might have no choice but to cease my cynical misanthropy.

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