"Web-based virginity loss": Fact or Fiction?

DATELINE: 1998 — recently there was a lot of hullabaloo about a couple of people planning on "losing their virginity on the Web". Well, of course, it was a lie. But even if it hadn't been, the plans of these publicity-seekers simply did not involve "losing their virginity on the Web". They planned to lose their ``virginity'' in real life, and to broadcast it on the Web. The usage of the confusing term "to lose one's virginity on the Web" belies a abysmal ignorance about the current capabilities and limitations of the Web.

The truth is, the Web is in a sorry state. On Thursday, July 16, 1998, Tim "Father Of The Web (cough, cough)" Berners-Lee released a statement saying, "We just don't have the ability to manipulate virginity in any way on the Web. The infrastructure isn't there, the protocols aren't there. It's going to have to wait."

Berners-Lee believes that true Web-based defloration will require widespread adoption of XML and HTTP-NG. Others think it won't happen until IPv6 takes hold. Sun has pledged a 100% pure Java virginity remover by the end of August, but I managed to beat them all to it, by hacking up a quick CGI that will genuinely remove your virginity once and for all.

If you are a virgin and no longer wish to be, just click the button below to lose your virginity. If you're not a virgin but wish to relive the shame, you may also take part in this Web experiment.

Look at the buzzwords: Web! Virginity! Web!

Man, if that doesn't get people flocking to this site, I don't know what will.

Well, I'm not a virgin anymore.

This document is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Tuesday, August 21 2007, 14:43:50 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, June 02 2023, 23:00:01 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2023 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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