My Seussical Life for 2005 May 25

Sometimes I feel like my life is a Twilight Zone episode along the lines of the Fox and the Chicken and the Egg riddle. Have you heard it? It is the puzzler where one has to cross a river in a boat that carries only two passengers. The fox can't be left alone with the chicken or the eggs, or he will eat them. That means four passengers and only two can ride in the boat at a time. So, how is it done??

This is the riddle of my life. How do I get the groceries and two children into the apartment without losing one, two boys, or whatever groceries splat down the stairs because I am falling over myself, carrying too much?

How do I get from the atrium of the Aquatic Center to the car with the boys, an armful of swimming noodles, a life vest, and a duffle bag of wet towels and suits without a boy sprinting into the street (hopefully dodging the cars), dropping all of the precariously balanced stuff, or losing my composure in front of the spectators?

How do I take a pee at the park in those disgusting restrooms without some risk of indecent exposure as the boys come in and out of the toilet stall, or perhaps contract some awful disease because they are army-crawling all over the floors, running their hands along the toilet seat to get back to the flushing-lever (which they pull, repeatedly)?

Ah, the joys of parenthood. There really are nice moments, too. I'm sure of it.