Ruse You Can Bruise for 2003 December 15

Tired of the fragile, burglarphobic life of the jeweller? Thinking you could be more effective as a B2B goldsmith's note-engraver, but unable to find skilled partners you can trust? Or exploit? Do you wish you could break out the fountain pen and retire to an easy life of signing your name to pretend money, while the job for which you spent years training is done at no cost and with greater cachet by a creature with no recognizable brain? At last, via Kevan, there's an all-natural solution that fits your needs: outsource your work to bugs!