Jabberwocky for 2004 April 29

I named my spider Edward after Edward Hopper because Hopper is very high on my list and also because he is a hopper spider. Suppose he should turn out to be an Edwinna? I hope not. I have no idea how to tell, however, and no desire whatsoever to learn how to do it. What would I do, turn him upside down and look?

Anyway I don't want him to be Edwinna, even though that was the name of my best friend in tenth grade. Edwinna would put an egg sac somewhere in my bedroom and then I would have a lot of babies, and it's about all I can do to let Edward live. I am sort of like Henry VIII. It has to be a boy, or off with its head!

This morning Edward was perched on the smoke alarm.

A whole family of [endangered] kit foxes was found dead in their burrow over by East Hills Mall. Somebody filled in their holes and they suffocated. There's got to be a special room in Hell just for the person who did that.

What's bad about it, is the dead foxes were found by a crew from National Geographic that was here doing a documentary on kit foxes. Great. Now National Geographic knows what a bunch of ignorant hicks we have in this town, and pretty soon the world will know.

Poor little foxes.