No Day But Today for 2006 November 4

you know I don't like to think that I think about death a lot but I do. I mean I am in the medical field, and I work at a nursing home so it happens constantly but I think I have been to more then my share of funerals. The reason I bring up the subject now is because earlier today my mom asked me if I ever got really attatched to the people I work with, and if it is hard for me to let them go. Then I got asked about my philosophy on life and death today as well. My philosphy on death is that they are going to a better place, and to get over it. I am a bit more blunt about it then most, because I have learned to emotionally detatch myself from death and dying, but then just a few minutes ago I learned about a tragedy.

My dear friend David Haws, whom was one of my best friends in High school is dying of an extrememly rare disease (see story: http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=611648). Not even Dr's at the Mayo clinic can figure it out. Basically he is drying up from the inside out. Now I am sad. I am unable to detatch myself from this, and I am disturbed by that. Maybe it is because he is younger then most people I know that die. Maybe becuase death has benn occuring in my life at an alarmingly increasing rate.

In the past 2 years, Kris's mom, Melea, Grandma Mary, Aunt Francis, Uncle Dorse, and now my friend David will have died(not to mention 20 or so patients). While I still maintain the are going to a better place, I am realizing that you can't just get over it. You can't just get over depression, anxieties, fears, sadness, or anything like that. It is like telling your self to just "get over a heart attack." Life doesn't work that way. I guess I need to just maintain good coping skills to deal with death more effectivly then I am today. God Bless you David Haws. I hope you die more peacefully then most.