The Gum Tree for 2007 October 12

While we are making up awards, why not award Al Gore the Nobel prize in Medicine or Chemistry, since he is obviously the most qualified scientist around, or since the 'catastrophe' of so-called Global Warming will kill off our children if we don't start eating organic food from our own 'green' garden; fertilized by our own feces (to reduce water pollution, of course). I know I am not a member of the Swedish Nobility, but perhaps somebody can show me some evidence how the .71 degree increase in the worlds temperature in the last 30 years has caused widespread war and what Al Gore has done to actually decrease war and poverty in the world. Perhaps next time they will award a Nobel Prize to all the babies who were aborted because they saved the earth from a massive population bomb, or to Prince Harry, because he is expected to carry out his mother's humanitarian efforts. . . in the future. The fact that the results of his actions are questionable right now need not bother us; since we are Royalist all, and we're oh so sure that he will be a good prince in his old age. No, don't argue; the matter is settled--Prince Harry is a humanitarian genius who will have done more to serve the poor and underprivilaged than we may ever know. Especially since the more he serve humankind, the less opportunity there is for him to serve humankind--so we'll just award his Peace prize right now and save ourselves the waiting. We can also overlook the 'inconvenient truth' that the policies that Gore is advocating will possibly lead to increased poverty in places like China, India or South America--and perhaps more war. This is the 'we have ours, and we are going to make sure that you don't get yours, because you'll pollute the earth too much' attitude. I suppose Al gore is a step up, though, compared to other Nobelist like Le Duc Tho who later turned out to have been partially responsible for the mass murder of millions of people. I guess this isn't the first time the Nobel Committee has shown poor judgement in awarding the Peace Prize (the U.N. recieved the award 3 times, America: 0). Maybe next year the Nobel Prize committee will cut-to-the-chase and award the Nobel Peace Prize to. . . themselves; they deserve it!